Work Text:
“What are you not telling me?”
“Nothing, I swear!”
“Just tell me.” Maomao insisted. She and Chou-u had been back and forth like this for almost half an hour. Ever since he had walked through the door, Chou-u resembled a sick person trying their best to stay on their feet. As far as Maomao knew, he wasn’t sick or troubled in any way. She was confused when he saw him in such a state, yet he refused to say anything.
“You look like a dead person.”
“I do not!” He spat.
Maomao took a deep breath, “Fine.” She passed by him, “Don’t tell me.” She closed the door behind her as she left. Her patience only went up to a certain level, and Chou-u had way passed that. She didn’t have time to indulge in his lies or tricks. If he were indeed distressed, he’d tell her.
She needed to prepare medicine for some courtesans who had gotten sick and restock on some stuff she ran out of. Roughly, it would take up her entire day; she had no time to waste.
With the restocking out of the way, all that was left was making medicine. But there was a nagging at the back of her head the whole time. It felt like a sharp headache that refused to go away, making her head pound violently. Whenever she felt fully focused, it would come and disorient her mind. She brushed it off as exhaustion. She hadn’t gotten proper sleep that day, so it was a plausible reason. When it became too unbearable, she took a short nap to keep her focused, at least for a short time. Her theory came tumbling down when her head pounded even worse this time. It wasn’t exhaustion, it wasn’t a flu or a cold she’d happened to get. Everything else felt perfectly fine.
Then a question came to mind. Chou-u. Maomao hadn’t seen him the whole time. Where was he?
She got up from her spot to check inside the Verdigris House. Investigating every room and corner she could find.
“Have you seen Chou-u?
“No.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“I didn’t see the kid.”
Maomao looked around the room, her finger tapping the side of her leg. “You must’ve-”
“Do you think I’m lying to you? I said I haven’t seen him.”
She huffed. “Right.”
Maomao continued to ask everyone she saw. They hadn’t all seen him, which was worrying for such an energetic kid like him. It was impossible to keep him in one spot.
There was one place she hadn’t checked yet. It was where the courtesans would get ready. Since it was working hours, no one would be there. Yet, Maomao hesitated going in there. Even years later, the place brought back unpleasant memories. She normally didn’t have to go in there, which was a tremendous help in avoiding it. If there was a chance Chou-u was, in fact, in there, it was a risk she was willing to take.
She glanced inside,
“Chou-u?”
Silence.
“Chou-u, are you here?” still nothing. Maomao sighed in disappointment, closing the door, when she heard a quiet sob from inside. She froze. Clear sniffling sobs could be heard. He must’ve thought I left. She walked inside looking for him. He was crouched next to a cabinet, hugging his knees.
Seeing him like that, Maomao felt a cold wind engulf her. This was the reason for her headache.
All she really saw was herself. She, crying endlessly, wanting someone to care for her. Of course, no one ever came. Understandably. There were more important matters to tend to. It made sense.
However, she couldn’t imagine herself doing the same thing.
Rushing next to Chou-u, she crouched next to him, trying to hold his face to see if he was hurt.
She asked, “What’s wrong?”
He refused to look at her, sobbing even louder. Seeing as he wouldn’t budge, she sat in front of him, her hand on his head. Maomao truly couldn’t fathom the idea of ignoring a little, small kid, who clearly was hurt or in pain. Whether it be Chou-u or someone else. Maybe it was just her who couldn’t stand children being hurt.
Chou-u lifted his head, making eye contact with her. His eyes were all red and puffy, supposedly from crying too much. He gestured to his knee, which was bloody. Even his clothes were soaked in it.
“What happened?”
He wiped his nose, “I fell.”
She looked at him to continue.
“It got scratched.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He looked at her silently. Seeing his eyes all teary wasn’t good for her. Her own body, heart hurt.
“You had stuff to do.”
Right. She did.
She put her hand on his knee.
“That doesn’t matter. You’re more important.”
He stared at her, confused.
“If anything ever happens, come and tell me,” she leaned to see his face clearly, “okay?”
He nodded slowly.
Days passed, but Chou-u's crying lingered in the back of her mind. Her own memories from her childhood blurred with his, creating a pit in her stomach. She couldn’t imagine him without imagining herself as a kid, hoping for someone to acknowledge her. How could Maomao herself not be able to stand a kid crying, when she could’ve easily ignored him? While everyone else could ignore her for hours. Even when she was right next to them.
Was it because they blamed her for the damaged reputation of the Verdigris House at the time? If that was the case, it was understandable. Who would care for a child who brought nothing but misfortune?
Maybe things would’ve been different if she hadn’t been the reason their workplace became untrustworthy to outsiders and almost bankrupt.
No one would inconvenience themselves for someone who was the reason for their bad, exhausting times.
Maomao was too focused to notice the pharmacy door opening.
Someone called out to her, “Maomao!”
She turned around to see Jinshi. Smiling like he’d had the happiest day in his life.
“Hello, Master Jinshi,” she said. He stopped in front of her, looking at her confusedly.
“Is there something wrong?”
What? Did he just recognize that she was upset by looking at her?
“No.”
“If you say so.” Jinshi sighed. He sat next to her.
“Did you need something, sir?”
“Did I say I needed something?” He pointed out.
“Why else would you come here?” She continued to reorganize the table. She’d been attempting to reorganize the place till she got stuck in her thoughts.
“I wanted to spend time with you.”
Her mind felt blank. She was too tired to think or keep her thoughts to herself.
“Isn’t it tiring to come here?”
“It’s worth the trouble.” She looked at him, then went back to her organizing.
“If that’s what you prefer, then.”