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Inej almost always was the one to rise first in the morning. With the rare exception would be if Kaz had happened to stay up all night, but she didn’t think that counted.
Ketterdam was quiet in early mornings, a haze settled over the city while everyone recovered from late nights of pleasure. Inej liked to watch the sun rise and erase the mist on the rare occurrence of sunny days. She liked to observe from the rooftops the hustle of market vendors setting up their goods. Ketterdam was filled with secret beauty if one had the patience to look for it.
In the past few years, Inej had come to appreciate a different view.
This morning, with sunlight ticking her face, Inej lay silently by Kaz, waiting for him to wake.
Perhaps it was a bit strange, to watch someone sleep, but she cherished it anyway. Kaz looked peaceful in his sleep, with messy hair and the worry smoothed out from between his brows. Lips slightly parted instead of screwed into a scowl or scheme. This was a Kaz that no one else in Ketterdam got to see and Inej would happily keep it secret.
Sometimes Inej would leave before he woke, returning to greet him with coffee or some sort of breakfast. Lately she had been lazy and greedy, wanting to soak up his presence and gaze at the boy she loved so dearly. There were times that Inej would never let herself even dream of this, of having anything, with Kaz.
She resisted the urge to touch his face, trace her fingertips across the scar on his lip or his eyebrow, knowing that the slightest touch would disturb him. Instead, Inej watched.
It happened suddenly, Inej only knew because of how close she lay to him. Kaz’s brow furrowed ever so slightly, breath hitching.
Inej held her breath, assessing Kaz’s face.
They had discovered it was best to wait for the other to wake up on their own. Waking each other in the middle of a nightmare would mean a knife in the face. He began to shift, turning his head in distress.
She didn’t have to wait long, as Kaz’s eyes opened suddenly with a sharp gasp. His gaze was unfocused and face panicked as his eyes roamed the room.
“Kaz,” she demanded his attention, reaching her hand out in a question, “I’m here.”
He answered, pressing his cheek into her palm.
“It’s alright, I’m here,” she whispered gently, “it’s been a while since you’ve had a nightmare.”
His breath still shuddered in his chest, Inej could feel him trembling slightly next to her.
“Tell me, love, what was it about?”
Kaz closed his eyes, temporarily hiding the fear and pain she saw in them, and pressed his forehead to hers.”
“You,” He whispered.
He didn’t need to say any more, Inej had the same dreams about him. Horrible ones where their past caught up to them or things when wrong. It was always worse when she had them out at sea, where her nightmares could be a reality without her realizing.
“I’m here, Kaz.” She said, pulling him closer, letting him hear the beat of her heart.
His warm breath tickled her neck, an equal reminder to her that he was alright. Inej pressed her lips to his head, letting her hands wander his hair and back in soothing patterns. Long ago, when Inej was little, her papa would do the same to her.
There would be time to talk, but for now this was enough.