Chapter Text
The fire demon sat at the library computer, staring at the screen with determination. A resume. He had to have a resume to apply. How hard could it be? Humans did it all the time, and he could do anything a human could.
“Okay,” he muttered to himself. “Name. Easy. Min Yoongi.” It wasn’t his real name, but he knew better than to offer that to anyone. Besides, who would believe that he was the unholy balrog spawn of Xaphan Keeper of the Hell Flame. But Min Yoongi was the name he tended to use in the mortal realms, and more importantly it was a name that the werewolf cub would recognize.
Okay, Step one was finished. Step two was harder.Professional Experience. Hell? Could he put Hell as his previous employer? Or should he put Lucifer? Surely he couldn’t put his sire there. There was a note on the template to avoid using family connections. Maybe Belphagor? They never actually worked together, and he would never take orders from that lazy slug spawn. But most people did know of Belphagor, even if they didn’t know what he actually did. And it wasn’t like the humans would call Hell to find out that he was lying about working with the other demon. Yes. Belphagor would do.
Now, a job title. Human resources? He contemplated it for a moment. Well, human souls were considered a resource in Hell. Though maybe he should go with assent management. That sounded more impressive. Or acquisitions? No. He didn’t really acquire the souls. He wasn’t a contract demon. He just collected for others. Yes, he’d go with asset management. Humans would find that impressive.
Alright, job description. He thought for several minutes before his fingers flew over the keyboard, almost smoking with intensity. The collection and transportation of assets acquired by colleagues to the central processing center. The containment of assets during transport. The redistribution of assets once categorized and reassigned. Yes, that was a very professional way to say that he collected souls, transported them to Hell, and gave them over to whatever demons were lucky enough to be granted access to them.
Reason for Leaving? That was actually very easy. “I simply need a change. My job has become tedious and I need something new to inspire me.”
Okay. That was the employment section done. On to… He winced. Education. He had never been educated. He was born to his place. He already knew how to collect souls. Maybe… He shrugged. He would just leave it blank. Surely there were some humans who didn’t fill in this part. Embers knew he collected enough of the uneducated, unwashed masses. He would skip it with a simple “Home-school.” It would work if you could consider Hell a home, and on-the-job training as school.
Next up: Relevant skills. This was easy. Scaring people? Check. He was born to be scary. Make-up? He was no MUA, but he could make a glamour like no other. Check. Acting? Ha! It had taken the human Namjoon a full year to realize he was a demon and another six months to ween out what kind. Fucking check.
Contact? Again, this was easy. He quickly typed in his own phone number.
References? What did humans put for references? Should he add Namjoon? Namjoon had suggested the job. He would add Namjoon. Obviously he had to put Jungkook down. The werewolf cub was the one who had told Namjoon about the job. But he needed three. The Windego? Hobi was too happy for a hungry ghost. He would definitely say good things about Yoongi, but maybe that wasn’t what he needed. He certainly wouldn’t believe a sweet bubbly sunshine voice telling him someone was scary. The djinn was a safe bet. Jin was a fun loving kind of guy, but when he got serious, he had the kind of no-nonsense attitude of a mom with five wild children and a dad who let them run wild. No. He wasn’t right.
Then it struck him. The siren. Taehyung was like the ocean. Beautiful, unpredictable, and deadly. He could look harmless and safe, but if you weren’t reasonably scared of him, you would regret it. Yes. The siren was perfect. Quickly he tapped in Tae’s contact information.
Then he moved on to the really hard part: the application.
The first thing required was two pictures. One in make-up and one out of make-up. This was easy enough. He’d already uploaded them. One with his glamour (no make-up) and one without (full “scharacter” as the application called it.) His scharacter name? He scoffed. These mortals thought he was foolish enough to give his True Name. A quick search led him to a name generator. Smulder Scorchis? That was horrible. The humans would love it.
He quickly copied vague information from his resume to the application. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? If yes, please provide details. Was being born a demon a crime? Well, many would say yes, but he didn’t think it was. Collecting souls of the damned? That was just his job. He may have set a few fires in the mortal realm. He had certainly killed more than a few people. But he had never been convicted of anything. He shrugged. That was a no, and they wouldn’t need the details.
Availability? He was at Pour Advice on Mondays, Sundays, and the occasional Thursday. Otherwise it wasn’t like he had a job other than collecting souls. At least, not yet. It also wasn’t like he needed sleep. Just an excuse not to go back to Hell. So, any time except the opening hours of Pour Advice on his favored days.
There were a few more simple questions that he filled in with answers stolen from his resume, but soon enough the application was also completed. With a deep breath, he saved them both and clicked “Submit” at the bottom of the screen. Now all that was left to do was wait.