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"Why?!"
That's all Momijikawa could think of saying after everything Sakura, someone he barely knew yet detested above anyone else, had told him about his past.
"Why.. are you.. smiling?"
Because how could he? After everything he'd been through, after everything people had done to him! This guy had been dealt the worst hand in life he'd ever seen and still here he was, smiling like everything was fine!
A hand grasped the one he'd buried in Sakura's collar. A pair of gentle heterochromic eyes looked at him. "Because," the boy said, eyes flickering to the sunset. "I'm here now."
Momijikawa's grip on the other's shirt faltered and he retracted his hand. He redirected his gaze to the water just below the bridge as the other boy continued with his story. He was told about how the teen preferred the darkness of night so he wouldn't have to worry about the cold stared and cruel words. How, this way, he didn't have to see his own reflection and wonder why he was cursed with this unique appearance of his. How he hated the sunlight that would shine through his window in the mornings. And how he'd rather lie in bed and hide underneath the covers so he could stay in that darkness for a little while longer.
To him, it sounded an awful lot like a deep depression. The kind that had taken his grandfather from him.
The boy told him about how he held hope that one day he would be accepted, only for that hope to be crushed when his father appeared and told him those cruel words. How he then realized that there wasn't a single place where people would accept him for who he was. How he begged the night to come sooner so he could hide in the darkness once again. How anger began to consume him until he snapped.
How at one point he heard about a school called Furin and decided he would try to reach the top here with his new found fighting spirit.
"You know," Sakura said after a moment of silence. "Before coming to Makochi, I told myself I would try one more time. I'd go to one last place to see if something could be different for me. If I could find a place to belong. And if it didn't work out, well.." The corners of his mouth turned up just the slightest bit.
"Then I guess I'd just give up."
The other teen's heart almost stopped as he heard those words. Images of his grandpa's lifeless body hanging from the ceiling flashed before his eyes. He almost got whiplash from how fast he turned to look at the other teen. He couldn't- He didn't mean-
He wasn't saying what he thinks he's saying, right?
"Wha- what do you mean by that?!" he yelled, anger flaring up for some unknown reason. Sakura didn't look at him, his eyes trained on the horizon. Momijikawa's hands tightened on the box he was holding as he barely withheld himself from reaching over and grabbing the boy again. "What do you mean? Hey! Answer me!"
The other boy was silent for a moment longer before he let out a sigh. "What reason would I have to live if I get condemned everywhere I go?" he finally said. His words felt like a punch to the gut to the other student. Sakura continued, "Before coming here, I had nothing. No family, no friends, no one who would give a shit if they found me dead on the street. Hell, most would probably be happy if I.. did it."
The setting sun reflected in the boy's eyes, making the colors seem more vibrant than before. "But here, I've finally found the place I had given up on ages ago. I've found people who have given me a home, a family. And that's why I'm standing here right now." He finally turned to face the other boy. His eyes were kind and full of understanding. "I know you hate outsiders, and I understand your reason. But.. I have my reasons too. Even if you tell me to leave, I ain't budging." he told the other. "Because.."
"..if I hadn't found this place, I don't think I'd still be here."
The dark-haired teen stared at the other with wide eyes and a clenched jaw. There were so many conflicting emotions going through him after this conversation he just didn't know what to think anymore!
On one side was his immeasurable hatred towards outsiders. They were the reason his family fell apart. The reason his grandfather took his own life! And Sakura was an outsider too, so his hate should be directed towards him as well! But, on the other side, was a quiet understanding for what Sakura himself had gone through. Yes, he was an outsider, but he had also been serious hurt by people. So much he had apparently almost been driven to the same point his grandfather once was.
He wanted to deflect the boy's story and believe it was all fake just so he could justify his continued hatred for the teen, but he couldn't. Not after hearing how the boy spoke in such an honest and truthful way. And it all was so believable, too! No matter what you may think of the boy's looks, Sakura stood out like a sore thumb. If his family had abandoned him after his mother's death, he could easily believe no one else would want to take care of someone that didn't fit the norm.
Outsiders were cruel fucking beings.
Even towards one of their own.
His fingers rubbed over the shallow engravings on the box he was still holding. 'What do you think, grandma?' he thought as he looked down. If anyone could understand his feelings, it would've been her. She suffered the same grief as him. Surely she would understand his hesitation in trusting this guy.
But his grandmother had always been a kind woman. Despite everything she had gone through, she never held any ill will towards anyone. She treated anyone, even outsiders, with kindness. If she met Sakura, she wouldn't push him away. Instead, she would treat him like she did anyone she encountered; with love and understanding. She would never blame someone for something they didn't do, even if she still grieved the untimely death of her husband.
He let out a sigh. He looked at the other student again and found the boy still looking out at the water, a distant look in his eyes. Despite how confident and unbothered the bi-colored boy tried to portray himself, it was clear this talk had brought up some unwanted memories for him as well.
"Do whatever you want." he said as he stepped away from the railing. He readjusted the grip on the box holding his grandmother's ashes and moved to walk past the other teen. Then, almost as an afterthought, he added "This doesn't mean I'll accept you as our leader, though." as he passed him by. Sakura didn't reply, but if he had looked back he would've seen a ghost of a smile appear on the other's face.
Momijikawa then left the bridge, an uneasy feeling filling his stomach as he left the other boy behind. It felt weird, wrong, to leave Sakura standing there after all of this. The other had just confided in him that he had at one point been in such a bad head space he was willing to take his own life and now he was leaving that guy behind on a high bridge. Even if it wasn't something the boy was still thinking of, it still felt wrong.
A past like this.. you don't recover from something like that easily. It sticks to you like glue and wears you down, even if you and others don't realize it. Not until it's too late. But maybe that was just his brain drawing parallels between his grandfather and the outsider. If he had noticed his grandfather's declining mental health sooner, maybe he wouldn't have-
He shook his head. Whatever, it was none of his damn business. That guy could jump off a bridge for all he cared. He barely knew him anyway.
..but maybe he should give that guy's classmates a head's up.
Just in case.