Work Text:
Chuuya was sitting on his knees, in front of what was left of his car, burning.
Why was this happening to him?
How could Dazai… leave him…?
W- Why?
He could feel a tear, slowly, running down his face before hitting one of Chuuya’s hands, placed in his lap.
He looked down at the wet spot, his hand- no, actually his whole body, shaking like a leaf.
He sat there, trying to make himself believe it was all a dream but the ringing in his ears felt too real for that.
”Dazai is no longer a member of the port mafia. He is officially labeled a traitor from now on… you know how to deal with traitors, Chuuya. Have I made myself clear?”
Chuuya could feel a tear running down his face, he tried to contain his sorrow, but it just didn’t work.
He didn’t even see the slap coming, his senses numbed by the pain, coming from deep within himself.
When Mori’s hand hit his cheek, the slap was echoing through the whole room and Chuuya could not contain a flinch at the sharp pain, spreading through his cheek.
”I said: Did I make myself clear?
”Y-yes sir.”, Chuuya replied, trying not to panic or have a full on mental breakdown in front of the head of the Port Mafia.
”You are dismissed. Don’t disappoint me, Chuuya.”
His cheek was still tingling from the slap, a few minutes ago.
The pain was the only thing keeping him conscious at the moment.
Chuuya stared at his burning car a few more minutes before making a decision.
A few minutes later
Chuuya was standing at the edge of the port mafia headquarters rooftop. He could feel the cold wind messing up his hair and making him shiver.
He looked down, taking in the view of Yokohama at night. He would call it beautiful if he hadn’t seen Osamu Dazai yet.
He took a deep breath, his right foot hovering over the edge. He would jump now and it would all be over after.
At least that is what he planned on doing, before he felt a hand grasping his arm and pulling him a few feet from the edge. He didn’t even bother looking up, as soon as he heard his “saviors” voice, he already knew who it was though.
“Are you crazy lad? What has gotten into you?? You scared me.”, his mentor said before pulling him into a tight hug.
“Don’t ever do something like this again. Have I made myself clear? I don’t wanna lose you and….”
Chuuya tried to listen to his mentor, but he just couldn’t listen after she asked him the question.
Have I made myself clear?
Nothing seems clear anymore.
Present day
Ever since that... incident a lot has changed. Chuuya and Dazai reunited, even though it was hard for both of them, especially Chuuya.
Both of them have been going to therapy for about a year now and everything is going well.
Sure, Chuuya has some panic attacks here and there, but his therapist said that that’s normal for patients with PTSD. Overall his progress was really good though, even though it’s just been 4 years.
Another thing that has changed is Dazai as a partner. He knows what he did wrong and makes up for it every single day of their relationship, he always knows what Chuuya needs, sometimes even better than chuuya himself. Dazai also was the one that suggested one of their most important routines. Every morning and every night Chuuya messages Dazai: “You alright?”, and there hasn’t been a single day that Dazai didn’t reply to that.
Both of them feel safe and secure when messaging each other like this, making sure that none of them are hurt or just.. gone.
Chuuya felt tired and extremely worn out when he looked out of the agency’s window, only to be met with complete darkness.
He wouldn’t be able to see a single thing if it wasn’t for a single streetlamp, illuminating the dark streets of Yokohama.
As Chuuya stared out a few more seconds he started to drift off, before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, hard, before turning around. As soon as he did he was met with the sight of his boyfriend. He gave him a small peck on his forehead before asking: “I will be off now, you will be home in about half an hour too, right honey?”
“Yeah, sure. Don’t forget to put away the dishes from the dishwasher. It’s your turn today. I love you!”, he replied before giving Dazai a proper kiss on his lips.
When they parted Chuuya lingered above the brunette's lips a few more seconds before parting with him and saying his last goodbyes.
Now, Chuuya was pretty much alone at the agency. The quiet kinda freaked him out.
Back when Chuuya still worked at the Port Mafia it was way different. He wasn’t in a place to slack off like this and there were always people around at this time still. It was just around 7 PM after all. He would also do missions that were way more dangerous. Here at the agency it feels like they are giving him easier missions on purpose, knowing part of his background at the Port Mafia.
He kinda missed, almost dying every week a little.
Just a little though.
God he was staring out the window again. Chuuya should just stop overthinking and finish his reports. There were only two more to go, so it should definitely not take him any longer than 20 minutes.
He reached for his pen and started writing the reports.
20 more minutes and then he can go home.
About 25 more minutes until he can hug his boyfriend.
About 35 minutes until he can fall asleep in said boyfriend’s arm.
You can do this Chuuya, don’t act like such an idiot.
⋆. 𐙚 ˚❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Exactly 22 minutes later Chuuya practically sprinted to get his jacked and jump on his motorcycle to get the fuck home.
He could barely keep his eyes open because of the lack of sleep. He hadn’t been able to sleep a single minute this night, since Dazai wasn’t home for a mission for which he had to stay at a hotel.
Dazai knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep and really didn’t wanna go, but Chuuya insisted.
So, here he was. Waiting at a red light trying not to fall asleep on the spot.
Life can feel like a chore sometimes.
5 minutes later, Chuuya arrived at his and Chuuya’s shared penthouse. Way too expensive for Dazai’s tastes, but Chuuya loved it.
He walked in greeting the woman at the lobby, who was dressed in a fancy, long-sleeved dress, before taking the elevator. Chuuya pressed the button for the top floor and then leaned against the mirror at the back of the elevator.
His reflection made him feel even worse than he was feeling already before. He had heavy eyebags, his hair was messy (a few strands were sticking to his sweaty neck, because he had to run over here since he parked a few minutes away. Some idiot had taken his parking spot >:[), Chuuya’s lips were chapped and a little swollen because he tried a new lip plumper, which sadly didn’t work out too well and his white shirt was stained because he spilled some of the energy drink he had this morning right onto it.
Chuuya looked like a hot mess and he knew that Dazai loved that.
That reminded him to message Dazai. He was literally going to be home in like 10 seconds but he just felt the need to do so.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket before opening Dazai’s chat.
To Mackerel:
Heyy, I’m gonna be home in a few secs but r u alright rn?
As soon as he hit send, the elevator doors opened.
He walked into the long hallway, approaching the only door in it and opened it, using his key.
When he stepped in, he pulled of his boots before shouting out: “”Samu, are you there? You didn’t answer my texts.”
No reply.
Okay Chuuya, no need to panic haha
Hah
Ha
…
He felt the heat of the fire in front of him again.
His car was burning.
Red flames, rising higher and higher.
Then, a hand on his shoulder.
He turned around.
“Ane-san?”
There was no one there. No reply. No hug. None of the welcoming warmth. Just the burning heat.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Dazai’s POV, right after he had made his way home:
Dazai was on his way home. The sun was already setting, so he had to hurry up.
He had been planning to surprise Chuuya today, since he had been extremely exhausted lately.
Dazai took a deep breath, closing his eyes. The cold air flooded his airways in a split second before he suddenly tripped over a loose stone in the pavement.
“Fuck-”
He fell face first onto the hard stone, not even being able to catch himself due to his hands being in his pockets.
Thud.
Dazai could hear a distant yell behind him, followed by hurried footsteps.
“Ugh, what a hassle.”, he mumbled, more to himself than to anyone else.
Next thing he knew, everything went black.
⋆. 𐙚 ˚❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
When Dazai woke up again he was sitting in a hospital bed.
He inspected the room.
There were two windows, which were both open, a nightstand right next to his bed, and a table filled with… gift baskets? Huh.
He couldn’t really piece together what happened at first but after looking down at his arm wrapped in a cast Dazai was able to remember. He tripped, fell and probably broke his arm in the process. He could vaguely remember hitting his head too, which was quickly confirmed by the sharp pain hitting him as he touched his forehead.
Dazai did not have time for this. He would have been home, cuddling with Chuuya right now. He wanted to do something nice for him for once! This situation was indeed a little inconvenient.
He decided to just walk home.
He slowly sat up, feeling a little nauseous while doing so and then put on his shoes, which were lying wrapped in a plastic bag, on the nightstand.
Dazai then put one foot after another onto the floor and shakily stood up. After taking a second look into the plastic bag he also found his phone and his keys.
Dazai hastily opened it, only to be met with 34 missed calls and 167 messages from Chuu.
Fuck.
This was bad.
He rushed over to the door as fast as he could, opening it with his still-intact arm.
Outside he was met with a surprised Kunikida.
“You goddamn bandage wasting machine. Do you know how shocked I was when you suddenly tripped and passed out right in front of my face while I was on my way to buy groceries???? Not only did that shock me, but it also completely messed up my schedule and-”
Kunikida was interrupted by Dazai passing by him.
“I’m sorry kunikida-kun bit I have a slug to get to right now!”
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
As soon as Dazai got out of the hospital building he opened his phone again to call Chuuya.
But right as he selected Chuuya’s contact it instantly died.
“FUCK”, Dazai yelled.
A few people turned their heads and looked at him like he was a complete maniac- well, it’s not like they are wrong…
“I guess I’ll just have to hurry”, Dazai whispered to himself while thinking about the fastest way home. If he hurried up he could make it in about 2 minutes.
Dazai started to walk faster.
Hang in there, slug. I am coming.
⋆. 𐙚 ˚❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Exactly 2 minutes later he found himself in the elevator of his and Chuuya’s shared penthouse. Expensive stuff wasn’t usually his thing but for his loyal dog he would make an exception. He only deserves the best afterall.
When the elevator door opened Dazai wasted no time and sprinted down the corridor, while fiddling with his keys.
He opened the door to their apartment and immediately noticed something was wrong.
He opened every door in the apartment.
Kitchen.
Empty.
Living room.
Empty.
Bathroom.
Empty.
That only left the bedroom.
He gently opened the door.
He could hear a whimper coming from under the blankets of their shared bed.
“Chuu, honey?” His voice was barely a whisper.
He slowly stepped closer and gently lifted the blanket, only to be met with his lover's puffy face. His eyes were both wet and red. Chuuya must have been crying for hours now.
“O- Osamu..? How are you here? I t- thought you were.. gone..”, the ginger said in between sobs, while rubbing his eyes, harshly.
“Hey, don’t do that.”, Dazai pulled the smaller man's hands from his eyes.
“I am not gone. I just had a little accident and I couldn’t take your calls because I didn’t have my phone.”, Dazai replied before wordlessly sitting down and taking Chuuya into his lap.
“I- I- I thought you left me a- again.”, Chuuya managed to say.
“I won’t ever do that again, mon petit amour.”, Dazai whispered into Chuuya’s ear as he sobbed into his chest.
Dazai held Chuuya tighter, before noticing how fast Chuuya was breathing.
This was not good.
“Chuu, I need you to take some big breaths for me, okay? Just like I am doing right now”, Dazai said while breathing in and out slowly.
Chuuya only started to breathe faster.
The brunette gently held the ginger’s face in his hand before telling him: “Chuu, focus. Big. Breathes."
This time Chuuya looked Dazai deep into the eyes for a few seconds before nodding and shakily matching Dazai’s breathing.
A couple of moments later Chuuya’s breathing had evened out and they were just holding each other.
Dazai lifted his head, giving Chuuya a small grin.
“Now, how about we take a bath together and eat some of the cake I bought for us yesterday while we watch a movie you pick out?”, he asked.
“The one with the dog?”
Dazai chuckled at that.
“Sure. Everything for you, my love.”