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Glinda was feeling way too much all at once, so much so that she had no idea how to deal with any of it. Mostly, she was terrified. It had been far too long since she had last seen Elphaba, and from the way she was talking now, it certainly sounded like this wasn’t going to last, either. In fact, this all sounded way too much like a permanent goodbye, and Glinda hated it.
So she just kind of refused to let go when Elphaba tried to pull away, holding onto her hand and squeezing so much that it must have hurt. She felt a bit bad about that, but it had been five years without her Elphie, and she wasn’t just going to let her go again now that she finally got her back, no matter what Elphaba said.
Then Elphaba started talking about how this might be farewell forever, and that they might never get to see each other again, and Glinda had to fight herself so she wouldn’t scream. There was simply no way she would let that happen, no matter how many times Elphaba insisted that it was what would be best for both of them, and for all of Oz. Like Glinda still cared about Oz nearly as much as she did her only real friend.
Things got even worse when Elphaba tried to explain why exactly she was doing all of this now that she had given up on her revenge. Turning herself into the villain just so Glinda could be the symbol for goodness she had wanted to be when they were younger felt almost insulting after everything they had been through together, but Glinda managed not to get angry, though she couldn’t keep her voice entirely steady for her response.
“I don’t want to be good, I just want to finally be by your side again! I missed you so much…”
Glinda was close to tears at this point, practically begging Elphaba to understand, and to finally let them choose each other like they should have done five years ago. Elphaba, on the other hand, just looked at her with wide eyes, caught somewhere between confusion and despair, with just a trace of hope fighting its way through her storm of emotions.
She considered Glinda’s words for what felt like a really long time, much longer than Glinda would have liked, until she was about to lose her mind from the anticipation and fear, then she finally moved again. This time, she didn’t try to get away from Glinda, though she didn’t exactly let her get any closer, either. Instead, she pushed Glinda back, making her walk backwards through the room until her heels hit a wooden closet door that swung open behind her.
Elphaba pushed her through it with just slightly more force than would have been strictly necessary, making her stumble. By the time Glinda regained her balance, Elphaba was already reaching out to close the door between them. There was something manic in her eyes now, but her voice sounded as clear as ever, insistent in a way only she could ever get.
“Then at least stay hidden until this is all over. Don’t come out again until everyone is gone, no matter what you think you see. It wouldn’t be safe, for anyone.”
Glinda couldn’t really make much sense of that, but Elphaba didn’t give her any time to figure it out. Everything about her was rushed, like she was terrified they would run out of time any clocktick now. It was almost enough to get Glinda to drop the topic for now, but she couldn’t give in and keep quiet just yet.
“Elphie, please–”
Elphaba interrupted her before she could get more than two words out. Usually, something like that would have upset Glinda, but this time, she didn’t even have the mental presence to think about any of that, all because of the way her friend had gotten her to stop talking.
There wasn’t even anything special about the kiss on a technical level, but no other kiss had ever made Glinda feel the way she did now. Her mind shut down and for a moment, she completely forgot where they were and what was going on. By the time her mind caught up with the real world again, Elphaba was gone and the door closed, leaving only a small gap for her to look through.
Moments later, the door across the room swung open and an entire group of people came rushing in, shouting threats and running at Elphaba with the clear intent to harm her. Outside, Glinda could barely make out shouts of “kill the witch” that made her angrier than she had ever been before. Even more than that, she was terrified for her Elphie.
Glinda had to press both of her hands to her mouth to keep from screaming out loud, her body shaking like a leaf in the wind and tears streaming down her face even before anything happened. She wanted to burst out of her cupboard and race to Elphaba’s side to defend her, even more after their kiss, but her body refused to move. All she could do was cling to the Grimmerie that had somehow ended up in her hands and watch on as the worst possible thing happened right in front of her eyes.
It all went by surprisingly fast. There were more shouts and a lot of pushing and running, and then there was a bucket being emptied and a cloud of smoke, and then Elphaba was gone. All that was left of her, from what Glinda could see through her gap, was a puddle of water and, swimming in that puddle, the very hat Glinda had given her all those years ago.
The world might as well have ended altogether. In fact, that might have actually hurt less than losing Elphaba right in front of her eyes and knowing that she would have to go on with her life afterwards as if nothing had happened, as if Glinda hadn’t just watched the only person she had ever truly cared about die.
Glinda’s body collapsed under the weight of her pain and grief, but she still kept her hands pressed to her mouth, muffling her cries and screams because that was what Elphaba had told her to do, the last thing she had ever told her. Even in her suffering-induced stupor, Glinda managed to hold onto that instruction, as well as the memory of the kiss, no matter how much it hurt.
At least she had that memory now, even if it was painful, and even if it made her realized how much happiness they had both missed out on over the last five years. It all suddenly made so much sense, and Glinda felt distinctly stupid because she had never even considered that she might be feeling more than friendship for Elphaba when it should have been obvious.
By now, Glinda was curled up on the floor, hiding her face in her arms as more and more tears fell from her eyes and seeped into her sleeves. She wasn’t breathing right, but that didn’t matter because Elphaba wasn’t breathing at all, and she was all that mattered to Glinda anymore. Glinda would have given anything to switch places with her.
Glinda stayed there for at least an hour, just sobbing into the empty space and trying not to choke on her tears. Nothing mattered anymore, and it was the worst feeling in all of Oz. But still she stayed there, waiting for something she was sure would never happen because that was what Elphaba had wanted and Glinda wasn’t going to betray her again by going against her wishes.
After a while, the pain must have gotten too much for Glinda to bear because she slipped into a strange state somewhere between wakefulness and unconsciousness, still vaguely aware of her surroundings but feeling strangely distant from it all at the same time. The pain was still there, but it had turned numb until Glinda barely felt anything at all anymore.
She didn’t even notice when the closet door opened and someone stepped in, and she wouldn’t have cared even if she did. It didn’t matter if that horrible child – or whoever had been with her when she showed up – tried to get her attention, even if she was going to tell everyone about this and ruin the reputation Glinda had worked so hard to build up. It was only now that she saw how stupid that had all been, and that she should have just spent her time and energy going after what she actually wanted, after Elphaba.
There was a warm hand on Glinda’s shaking shoulder, trying to pull her back and get her to look up, but she refused. Even if she had wanted to, her body simply wouldn’t move. Maybe it never would again. She should have probably cared about that, but there was no more space left in her heart to feel anything other than pain. Even the voice now talking to her barely registered in her mind at first.
“Glinda? Are you alright?”
For a moment, Glinda was convinced that she was hallucinating or something like that, that the grief had finally broken her mind. Because she would have known this voice – so gentle and full of affection – everywhere, but that couldn’t be right. This couldn’t be Elphaba’s voice, because Elphaba was gone.
But those gentle touches couldn’t be from anybody else because Glinda knew what Elphaba’s touch felt like. Still, she tried not to let her hope grow too strong, at least not until she could be sure. It was nearly impossible to move her head back so she could look up at the person crouching next to her. Everything was blurry at first because her eyes needed to get used to seeing again, but that shade of green was unmistakable, so Glinda finally let herself feel.
She launched herself directly into Elphaba’s arms, clinging to her like her life depended on it and sobbing openly now, her cries echoing through the room. Elphaba hugged her back just as tightly, squeezing and rocking her until she could breathe again. She was saying something, mumbling into Glinda’s ear, but Glinda didn’t listen to her words, instead just letting the sound of her voice wash over her and soothe away her pain.
They sat right there on the dirty floor for a long time, though at some point Glinda moved from the wooden floorboards to Elphaba’s lap in her desperation to get as close to her as possible, even knowing that it would never be enough. Luckily, Elphaba seemed to understand, or at the very least she didn’t mind Glinda’s clinginess, letting her get as close as she needed to without flinching back or trying to get her to let go.
After what must have been a really long time because Glinda was starting to loose sensation in her arms and legs, she finally managed to croak out a small explanation, telling Elphaba that she had thought she was dead, and that she’d had no idea how to cope with that. The heartbreak that filled Elphaba’s eyes in response brought tears to Glinda’s all over again.
If they hadn’t already been as close to each other as they could possibly be, Glinda would have thrown herself at Elphaba all over again. Since that wasn’t possible, she settled on the next best thing, even if it was terrifying and she had to gather all of her courage to turn her head and press her lips to Elphaba’s, just like she had done earlier.
The kiss started out desperate, almost violent, because some part of Glinda was still terrified that Elphaba would disappear again. There were also five whole years to make up, so Glinda planned to keep this kiss going for a while. Elphaba clearly didn’t mind, because she was kissing Glinda just as much as Glinda was her, holding her close and even sighing into her mouth after a few moments.
It took a while, but they eventually calmed down a bit. At this point, they probably looked like a huge mess, with mussed-up hair, dishevelled clothes and a lot of smudged makeup. They were both breathing heavily and Glinda couldn’t stop grinning, even when Elphaba got up from the floor again, pulling her to her feet as well.
Glinda was in a bit of a stupor, having to blink several times before her mind started working properly again. Elphaba clearly needed a moment to calm down, too, but she got her mind back under control quicker, and started talking while Glinda was still trying to catch up.
“You know I have to leave Oz now, right? I doubt I can ever come back…”
There was something in her voice that let Glinda know in no uncertain terms that this was supposed to be another goodbye, and that Elphaba was fully planning to disappear, not just from Oz but also from Glinda’s life. Somehow, she still didn’t get it, even after all of this, but Glinda was going to set her right, just as soon as she managed to catch her breath.
Until then, she just clung to Elphaba’s hands and refused to let go, just looking at her the way she had always wanted but never been able to before. So they just gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment until Glinda was sure that her voice was steady and determined enough to let Elphaba know she meant what she said.
“Yes, and I’m going with you. Don’t even try to argue, because we both know you’re not going to win that one.”
For a moment, she thought Elphaba was going to argue again, to insist that Glinda shouldn’t just give up her perfect life when she didn’t have to, but something in her eyes must have convinced her that she wasn’t going to change her mind this time. After another moment of hesitation, she nodded once and turned around to get her hat back, shaking the water off before putting it on her head.
There wasn’t anything else for either of them to pack, except for the Grimmerie that had ended up in the closet’s far corner during their reunion, and a black cape Elphaba pulled out from somewhere and handed to Glinda with a reassuring smile. It was heavy and smelled like Elphaba, and Glinda never wanted to take it off again.
They left less than an hour later, wrapped into dark clothes and escaping into the sky on Elphaba’s broom, hidden in the night sky. Glinda had no idea where they were going, but it didn’t matter one bit as long as they were together.