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What You Did To Me

Summary:

Jasper reminiscences about the Earth and her Diamond.

Notes:

I should be working on the next chapter of my main fic but this poured out of me after the airing of the episode "Earthlings". It takes place during the time just before "The Return" while Jasper, Peridot and Lapis are making their way to Earth on the Hand Ship. It is entirely inspired by the speech Jasper shouted at Steven during her corruption in the episode "Earthlings", I highly recommend watching that clip to get a feel before reading.

I've always been indifferent towards Jasper and any redemption for her, but then after "Crack the Whip" and her nearly crushing Amethyst I was outright against it. "Earthlings" and her emotionally tormented speech changed my mind. There really is no such thing as a good war.

This is written from Jasper's perspective so it will be portraying Homeworld as in the right even though I personally do not hold that view. Hope you enjoy.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

 

 

"I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the earth's crust.
Because of what you did to my colony!
Because of what you did to my planet!
Because of what you did to my Diamond!"

 


 

There it was. A pristine blue orb floating in the darkness, textured with greens and browns and fleeting swirls of fluffy white. Earth, the colony of her birth. How many centuries had it been since she'd last lain eyes on the first home she'd ever known?

It filled her with so many emotions; longing, nostalgia, sadness. But mostly rage.

Rage for what could have been. As she stood there leaning against the viewport images of a completed Earth Colony swirled through her mind. The dazzling Spires where the great thinkers of the Gem race would hold conference, dozens and dozens of Kindergartens to birth the thousands of gems that never were. The grand Arenas where she and other Gem warriors like her would battle for the glory of their race and the glory of the Diamonds.

The Diamonds. Her Diamond.

No, it was in the past.

But that vision, that future for her home had all been wiped away by one Gem. Rose Quartz. From the moment she broke through the Earth's nourishing crust she had been fighting. She remembered the day of her emergence well, the ramshackle Kindergarten hastily set up in the chaos of the Rebellion. Peridots running everywhere frantically monitoring haphazardly placed chambers where terribly needed Gem warriors were maturing. It was disorderly, it was chaotic, it was desperate.

But then Pink Diamond had come to her, she had been out of the ground less than an hour before being honored by her Diamond.

“You will lead my armies Jasper, you will save this colony from the madness of Rose Quartz,” she had said to her.

And she had. She led her Diamond's armies into countless battles against the hated Rebellion, she honored her people with her victories. She fought to protect the world she was born on. She had felt so alive then, she was made for battle and even though she had burned with fury at what the Rebellion was doing they had been worthy opponents. She had respected their tactics.

And then the day came that changed everything.

The metal of the viewport frame groaned and bent under her hands as the emotions of that day washed over her anew. It took a good portion of her self control to resist the urge to summon her helm and take out her despair upon the ship. She had been fresh off a battle with the Rebels, they had claimed a sweeping victory successfully defending the Prime Kindergarten in Facet Five and the Gems incubating there. The last of her Chalcedony scouts had just returned reporting the Crystal Gem forces in full retreat. The Rubies around her cheered and laughed and she couldn't help but wear one of her rare smiles at the tiny warrior's antics. Then a battle worn Kunzite barely holding her form had arrived through the warp pad with news that changed her life forever.

Pink Diamond had been shattered.

The attack on the Prime Kindergarten had been a ploy, a distraction. Rose Quartz and her elite had stormed Pink Diamond's Temple and crushed every gem within. Jasper had fallen to her knees, the jubilation of her soldiers fading until nothing but silence and fearful murmurs could be heard. It was a brilliant move! How could she have been so blind, so stupid? None of Rose's inner circle had been present at the battle. Not the traitorous fusion nor the defective Renegade Pearl. She should have known it was a trap! She should have been there for her Diamond!

Her Diamond. Pink Diamond...

How could another Quartz have done this? How could Rose have shattered her own Diamond? Pink Diamond made them! Gave them life, gave them purpose! And now she was gone because of Rose Quartz.

Jasper was back on her ship, staring at the floor. Somewhere in the throes of her memories she had fallen to her knees. Just like that day, the day Rose had ruined everything. Even now Rose Quartz could bring her to her knees.

“Jasper, we will be entering Earth's atmosphere in approximately five minutes. Please report to the bridge with the informant.”

The detached, cold voice of the Peridot she was escorting sounding out over the ship's intercom brought back her composure. She stood and looked out the viewport once more, now almost entirely filled by the Earth's soft glow. It didn't matter, it was past. She had a new mission and new purpose now. And if all went well with this escort assignment soon the Cluster would wipe the Earth away, wipe away all the horrible memories, wipe away the place where her Diamond had fallen...

But most importantly it would wipe away whatever pitiful remnants remained of Rose's army.

Maybe then... maybe then she could finally stop fighting.

 

Notes:

Phew. Like I said this literally poured out of me so I'm not sure how well it came out. I didn't even go back over it for grammar or proofing, I just needed to post it. If you catch any errors please point them out, I will likely be reviewing it myself in the very near future.

This is my first foray into a fic that is centered entirely around heavy emotions, I would love to hear any feedback on how it turned out. Thanks for reading.