Chapter Text
‘Ness had tried to stop him from killing dad, that was the reason that she was in the hospital. I should have been there. Dad would have still been alive’. Michael could feel a knot forming in his stomach. ‘She had always had his affection, his love, she was seen by him. She probably misses him too’ he told himself.
Michael walked along a narrow road. The town smelled of spring showers and sour gasoline. All across the pavement tiny rocks were scattered, along with used cigarette buds and the occasional shard of glass. His feet were avoiding the cracks that stretched themselves across the sidewalk. His mind was with Vanessa.
He had debated ringing her up, knocking on her door or coming by her work. He could ask her to join the fight and to take revenge. He had thought through every scenario where he would see her again. ‘She might hate me’, he thought to himself. ‘I tried to hate her too.’
In his mind a scene played where he would walk up to her squad car, parked by the side of the road. She would see him and would jump into his arms. She would tightly hold onto him and cry into his shoulder like she used to do when they were little kids.
Michael shook that thought out of his mind. He knew that it wouldn’t happen. None of the scenarios that he had created would ever happen. All of it forever stuck in little frames lining the walls in his mind.
He wouldn’t contact her, not just yet. What she would see in him would be who he used to be: the child that he was to William, a blemish on the Afton name. She would see the brother that had turned his back on them so many years ago. The foolish kid who squandered the opportunity to be seen by William.
That is not who he wanted to be when he asked her to be a family again. He wanted her to see him while his plans were in full swing. She would see someone she could depend on, now that William was gone.
Michael tried straitening out his back. His posture had been hunched over for most of the way. He was only a few blocks away from the street where they used to live. Michael was starting to recognize a lot of the houses around him. With every step he had to focus more and more on his breathing.
Vanessa was still registered on the old address, that he knew for sure. He had been keeping tabs on her for years now, even before the incident, but he had never gone back. Michael had to go now. His suspicions had gotten the better of him. He thought that he might go crazy if he had to keep on guessing for another day.
Michael turned the corner and walked into a street that was lined with old trees on one side. ‘If only we had realized what we had back then’ Michael reminisced. Suddenly he was back in his 9 year old body, chasing Vanessa up the street. She had always been fast, but so was he. She couldn’t outrun him this time, so she ducked behind a tree. Michael chased after her but started to fall behind. He was getting frustrated and tried to run even faster. She wasn’t playing fair, but he was fast approaching. Once he was close enough, he tagged her. His tag was more of a push and Vanessa fell onto one of the old trees. Immediately she had started crying and ran home. Michael didn’t want to chase after her, afraid of what, or rather who, would be waiting for him there.
He felt himself stretching a smile across his face. It wasn’t a natural smile, but it is what he had always done. It was the same smile that William would wear for the world beyond the walls of their house. It was the smile that, for many years, had been a staple of the Fazbear brand.
Another corner. Michael felt his heart protesting. It didn’t want to be here either. Even the vaguely familiar smells were nearly nauseating. Michael looked back at his feet. Left right left right, step over the crack, right, left. He almost ran into a light-post but managed to slow himself down just in time. A laboured inhale crawled over his lips.
He could see the street from here. Michael contemplated standing still for a moment but he was scared that his feet might not want to take him any further if he did. His footsteps quickened as he entered their old street. ‘No turning back now.’
---
The old house stared back at him as he approached. It was smaller than he remembered, and it somehow blended together with the other mid-century homes that were in its company. It did not look like the ruined castle that he had made it out to be in his mind. It was unsatisfyingly ordinary.
Michael dragged his palm across his throat as if he could grab onto his pounding heartbeat. The blinds were open and a car was in the driveway. He had to avoid being seen, even if she might not recognize him at first.
He stood behind a tree on the neighbours lawn and tried to see if there was anyone in the window. A light was on in the living room. That is what he had hoped for, yet he could feel his heart drop.
A few seconds later he sneaked up to the window, staying close to the ground. When he reached the wall he stayed low until he had managed to stop shaking. ‘Man up’ a voice in his head said.
Slowly he got up to peek inside. There, at the table she was. His face froze up. He tried inspecting her. Her face had become more slender like his own. Her eyes held a tragic expression that was not echoed by the rest of her visage.
She looked at the floor and Michael quickly ducked down again, not wanting to be spotted. He had tried hating her for so long. For a while it might have even worked. But seeing her face again made it clear that it had never been real hate. I might have been envy, jealousy, admiration, a grudge… but it wasn’t hate.
When he had left home she had had everything that he wanted. William adored her. Most parents admit that they pick favourites, but William hadn’t been just any parent. Whatever she did he would elicit his praise, and his praise was the closest thing to love in the Afton household. He never saw Michaels efforts, he never saw him in general.
At 17 he accepted that the only way for him to be seen by William was to walk away. Running away from home would make William realize that Michael was important to him, or so Michael had hoped.
For the first couple of days he often checked the local paper to see if he had been reported missing. He wanted to believe that someone had gone looking for him, but it seemed like no one ever did. Returning back home would not have been an option so he had spent the following years justifying his own decision.
Michael got back up to inspect Vanessa through the window once more. ‘But she had had it all.’ A pain rushed through his chest.
Her face was upright and looking across the table. ‘Was she not alone?’ Michael watched her face closely. She nodded. ‘There’s someone with her!’ His heart started beating faster and faster. He had not wanted to believe it, but suspicions might be proven correctly. Michael had to know who it was.
He could feel his eyes bulging out of his head as he ducked down to find another window. ‘She couldn’t… I know she wouldn’t. There is no way.’ Michael found his way around the corner of the house so that he would have a different angle of the table. He would be much closer to the two of them so he would have to be careful not to be seen but not knowing was not an option.
Michael held his breath as he slowly came up to look through the window. There he was, ‘Mike.’
He recognised the man from the news articles about the custody lawsuit that he had been batteling with his aunt. She had put the spotlight back onto Freddy's. Michael felt like he had been punched in the stomach and he had to sit back down against the wall. ‘How could she’, Michaels own voice boomed through his head. ‘The man that killed my, no OUR, father sitting at the Afton dinner table!’ It had seemed like an irrational, borderline paranoid thought, but right now the fact was staring him right in the face. Just as Michael had been afraid of, Vanessa had been working together with his father’s killer.
A wave of rage engulfed Michael. He had to restrain himself from standing up to break the window with one of the stones laying in the yard. Instead he bit down on his wrist. ‘This can’t be happening!’ The words were spiralling in his head. He felt like he might throw up. ‘She’s choosing HIM over our father?’ ‘That dirty lowlife has accomplished nothing in life!’ Vanessa had sunken lower than he could have even ever imagined
At once his hatred for Vanessa came rushing back. ‘It’s because of her that dad never fucking saw me! It was her who got all of the attention! Because of HER no one had ever gone looking for me! AND BECAUSE OF HER OUR FATHER IS NOW DEAD!’
Michaels mouth was suddenly filled with a metallic taste. He had bitten down on his arm so hard that it had drawn blood. The sensation calmed his rage and shifted his attention inwards.
‘Mike’ that is the name Michael had gone by for many years after leaving home. William used to refer to him by his full name only. When Michael abandoned William and Vanessa that name carried too much hurt.
Michael got up to look through the window again. They were still in conversation. Mike wore untidy clothes, had messy hair and a stubble beard. ‘Surely nobody takes him seriously looking like that’ Michael sneered.
Before Michael left home he had worn similar clothes. He used to wear grungy fashion that he had bought with his allowance. They were clothes that William disproved off. It was just another way of rebelling against his father. He would listen to rock on his cassette player in his room all day while writing and drawing. The moments of attention that Michael did receive were William telling him off for all of his personal choices, and even for some things that weren’t even choices at all.
When Michael ran away he lived on the street for a while before getting a low-end retail job. After a few years of working in low level positions Michael had started dressing up more. This got him to the position of manager in his early twenties. He started earning enough to put himself through an engineering degree. During his time at college he had also traded his long hair for a neatly combed middle-part. When he looked in the mirror he started seeing glimpses of William. At first this had angered him, scared him even. After more and more time passed that feeling turned into longing. When he started applying for jobs he started going by Michael again. ‘That’s more proper’ he had told himself.
He had wanted to show William what he had made off himself. But William and Vanessa had started going by different names too, it seemed. The only way to contact them was to go by the family home. Every time he considered it he was held back by the idea that he needed to be more accomplished were he to ask for Williams forgiveness.
Two years ago he had finally landed a high paying job at a company specialized in assembly-line robotics. He finally decided that he was going to start looking for William. Mere weeks earlier, William had been killed… That is what he read later that day in the papers. The memory gutted Michael. Staring at his own reflection in the window he could feel tears starting to well up.
The man at the table was sitting back in his chair and was listening to Vanessa speak. ‘I should have been the one working at Freddy’s! Mike would have never been able to get close to William. It’s all his fault.’ Michael was not even sure who he was cursing out Mike or his former self. However it may be Mike had been the death of William.
---
It was getting dark but Michael couldn’t bring himself to take his eyes off Mike. His fingernails were digging themselves into his palms. How had Mike become the subject of Vanessa’s affection? As much as Michael despised Mike, he also envied him in this moment for having her attention. ‘He probably manipulated Ness after killing dad, she’s not used to being alone.’
That thought brought Michael a moment of ease. ‘Perhaps if I show her what I’m capable off, she’ll come to her senses.’
Michael sighed and crouched down with his back against the wall of the house. ‘None of this is fair. Then again, the real world rarely ever is.’
Raindrops started to appear on Michael's slacks. He rested his head against his folded arms. A cold breeze hit his neck as he did. Decade old memories of living on the streets clouded his mind. But even back then he wouldn’t have been without a coat.
From inside sounded a muffled laugh from the two off them. A truly sickening noise. Michael realized how pathetic he must look, sitting there. His self-loathing turned to hatred again.
Michael sneaked past the window and got up. He took a moment to wipe the wet dirt from his knees and zipped up his hoodie. With one more look at the lit up living room he started making his way back.
He had made it a few houses up the street when he heard a door slam behind him. ‘Did they see me?’ Michael picked up the pace. Another slam, a car-door this time. This could be bad.
The raindrops in front of him were suddenly illuminated by headlights. The car was coming his way. Michael pulled up the hood of his sweater to shield him against the heavy rain. The distinct locks of hair that framed his face were already sticking to his forehead. He hunched over further to protect his eyes while he tried making it to the corner of the street.
To his shock the car came to a halt next to him. ‘Fuck fuck FUCK’ Michael cursed to himself. ‘He must have seen me walk away.’ He couldn’t afford to run away now. Mike would be able to catch up in no time. He had to play it cool.
The breaks of the car next to him screeched to a halt. Michael could see the figure behind the window but it was too dark to make out his face. The man unlocked the car-door. Michael jumped at the sound. The man leaned out of the car. It was Mike, he hadn’t imagined it.
Through his furrowed eyebrows Mike stared at the under-dressed figure on the sidewalk. He was shielding his face from the cold rain. ‘Hey man, the weather is getting crazy.’ Mike yelled. ‘Do you need a ride?’