Chapter Text
Sakura watched absently as the greenery of the forest around her team became more vibrant the closer they travelled to Konoha. Her team had just completed their first C- rank mission in the Land of Waves, a mission which had gone off the deep end almost as soon as the fresh genin had set foot outside the walls of the leaf village. There was no way that Team 7 could have known that they would be facing several missing-nin when they left the village, none of them had the slightest idea that the simple C-rank they were assigned would actually turn out to be an A-rank mission that nearly cost two members of her team their lives.
The pink haired girl tried to use these thoughts to quiet the voice at the back of her head that replayed her own incompetence over and over again. Of all the events that happened it was ridiculous to think that a freshly graduated genin could do anything against an evil business tycoon like Gato or an A-rank missing-nin like Zabuza.
As Team 7 made camp for the night, something that was necessary as Sasuke was still recovering from his injuries from their bridge fight nearly a week ago, Sakura found herself volunteering for the first watch to the surprise of her teammates and sensei.
“Hey hey Sakura-chan are you sure? I don’t mind taking the first watch if you want to rest, dattebayo!” Naruto shouted enthusiastically as he bounced around as if they had not been running for hours straight.
“ I have no clue where he pulls all that energy from…” She thought to herself, the exhaustion from their travels feeling even more present next to Naruto's neverending enthusiasm.
“ Probably from actually training his stamina, not everyone is as weak as us.“ Inner scoffed at her from within her head.
Sakura wished she were wrong but as she looked at Kakashi-sensei who was completely unaffected by their travel and Sasuke-kun who was only barely out of breath despite still recovering, it became clear that she was probably another reason the team was making camp for the night.
“Yes I’m sure Naruto” she glared at him, his worry for her adding fuel to the fire that was her own self-deprecation.
She wiped the sweat from her abnormally large brow as she placed herself on a nearby stump and tried to ignore the twinge of hurt she felt at the skeptical look Sasuke directed at her.
“ Even Sasuke-kun doesn’t think we’re capable enough to do something as simple as first watch. “ She slumped in on herself as the thought pierced her heart like a knife.
“ Could be because we haven’t given him any reason to think we’re reliable enough to do it. I mean come on, imagine if some bandits attacked while we were on watch, we probably would be dead in a second!” Inner laughed cruelly while tears welled at the corners of her eyes.
“ That’s not true! Even I could take bandits! Any genin is more powerful than a civilian bandit, the only reason I couldn’t help on the bridge was because Zabuza is an A-rank and Haku had a Kekkei Genkai! Plus, someone had to guard Tazuna for the mission.”
“Some guard we were, what kind of ninja brings her charge with her while she sobs over her fallen teammate? I mean really, our back was completely open! All it would have taken was one stray kunai from Zabuza or Haku and we would have single handedly failed the whole mission. “
Sakura didn’t have any argument for Inner’s harsh words because she knew they were true, she had been a lousy guard for Tazuna and an even lousier teammate during the fight. Even Naruto, who had been dead last throughout the academy had managed to be more useful than her on that bridge.
“We’re even more useless than Naruto…”
“At this rate Sasuke-kun will never fall in love with us! “ Inner wailed dramatically as she curled herself into a ball. Sakura unconsciously mirrored the action as she pulled her legs to her chest and curled in on herself. The tears at the corners of her eyes threatened to fall, quickly she looked around the small forest spot where he team had made camp and when she noted that both Naruto and Sasuke seemed to be snoring softly (or at least Sasuke was snoring softly, Naruto was flopped on his back snoring at a volume she hoped couldn’t be heard beyond the clearing they were in). Their sensei was nowhere to be seen but Sakura was sure he was watching from somewhere, even with that in mind she finally let the tears she was holding back silently roll down her cheeks.
Lately the crush she had been harboring on the black haired boy since childhood had felt more and more unattainable. She had thought that when they were placed on Team 7 that the close proximity would only serve to push them closer together, but really it felt like the opposite. Everyday she worked hard to win over her crush with her perfectly maintained hair and neverending support, two things that her mother had always insisted that guys liked in a girl. She wanted him to know that no one thought he was more amazing than she did, and so every time he rushed in looking handsome and pulling off one of his amazing jutsus she made her thoughts known.
Unfortunately, deep down Sakura knew that her efforts were pointless because a fangirl wasn’t what Sasuke was looking for. He had even said so himself and she had chosen to ignore him in favor of her own delusions.
It had happened just after their graduation to genin, all three of the rookie teams were invited to Yakiniku Q for a celebratory dinner. It was supposed to be the three teams and their jounin senseis but Sakura remembered that Kakashi-sensei had shown up so late he had practically missed the whole thing.
Sakura had been one of the first ones there, her mother had drilled good manners and punctuality into her from a young age and while normally that benefitted her this time she had to grit her teeth when she ended up stuck next to Shino Aburame and Hinata Hyuga. She didn’t have anything against the two members of Team 8 but they weren’t exactly the pinnacle of good conversation, that and Shino’s bugs creeped her out a little.
Nevertheless, Sakura tried to converse with the two quieter genin as the other rookies filtered into the private dining room and she found that she wasn’t as hard as she had initially expected it to be. Surprisingly, Shino Aburame turned out to be an interesting conversation partner when it was a subject he was knowledgeable about, and it turned out that he was very knowledgeable on the topic of flowers of all things.
“ Sakura-san, I am surprised you did not come with Ino-san,” Shino had started after their initial greetings fell into an awkward silence, “Why? Because I was under the impression that the two of you were close and it seemed likely you would attend together.” He stated in a way that was both a question and not, either way the mention of her rival had made her bristle.
“Um, not really Shino-san. Ino-pig and I were close as kids but we, ah, grew apart down the line. Now we’re rivals in love, beauty, and all things kunoichi!” She pulled her hand into a fist at her declaration and smiled when she heard Hinata giggle softly beside her.
“Not that we could have come together anyway, Pig usually works at her family’s flower shop around this time while I came from training with my team just a couple hours ago.” Team 7’s first real team training had consisted of free for all taijutsu sparring that had quickly devolved into Naruto and Sasuke squabbling until Kakashi-sensei had assigned them a D-rank mission to paint some old lady’s fence. All in all, not the most successful training session but to her any day spent with Sasuke was a good day.
“A flower shop you say?” Shino murmured, pulling her out of her memories of the day. “This would explain why Ino-san typically smells strongly of lilies and chrysanthemum.”
Sakura must have given him a strange look at his words as he quickly elaborated.
“My kikaichu are partial to a large variety of flowers, lilies and chrysanthemums tend to be some of their favorites. Similarly, many of the female kikaichu are drawn to the more poisonous flowers located in the land of fire due to their propensity for neutralizing the toxins.” He spoke in a factual manner. Sakura felt her eyebrows raise and her curiosity peak at the subject.
“Poisonous flowers huh?” she asked and she was not disappointed when their conversation continued long into the dinner.
At some point during their talk of Konoha’s most lethal plants Sasuke had arrived and begrudgingly sat himself next to Kiba at the end of the table and across from where Shikamaru and Chouji sat. Sakura was mildly disappointed he hadn’t come to sit next to her, but that wouldn’t have made sense when every spot at her end of the table was already filled. Naruto was the last to arrive, other than Kakashi-sensei who no one had expected to be on time, and once the blond was sat the group had eagerly dug into their meals.
The pink haired girl had enjoyed spending time with the other genin she didn’t often talk to but her spirits had dulled considerably when she heard what the boys at the other end of the table were talking about.
“What about you, eh Sasuke? Finally a Genin, there’s a whole new sea of fish to catch if you know what I mean.” Kiba grinned deviously as he elbowed the Uchiha, Sasuke who had been trying to bite into a skewer of barbeque and missed because of the brown haired boys jostling simply glared at him.
“Fish? What do fish have to do with being a Genin?” Naruto asked confusedly as he shoved a piece of steak into his mouth.
“He means girls, Naruto.” Shikamaru sighed, “I don’t see the point. Kunoichi are all so troublesome.”
“Of course you would say that Shikamaru! You lazy ass!” Naruto shouted.
“Yeah Shikamaru, Sasuke has practically every girl in the village chasing after him. He’s gotta be interested in one of them!” Kiba laughed as he tried to elbow the genin next to him again but Sasuke dodged out of the way.
“No way!” Naruto scoffed, “The bastard probably doesn't even like girls! I’ve never seen him look twice at any of those screaming fangirls and the weirdo kissed me when we were in the academy!”
“You idiot! You were the one who fell into me.” Sasuke scowled at the blonde, Sakura also frowned at the memory. She had been listening intently, anything related to girls and Sasuke piquing her interest.
“Plus, those fangirls are nothing but a nuisance. Why would I willingly hang around someone so annoying?” Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he spoke and Sakura felt her body tense.
“Man that’s harsh,” Kiba said shocked, “ you wouldn’t even hang out with Sakura? She’s your teammate and also a fangirl.”
“I think all fangirls are annoying, but especially the weak ones.” Sakura couldn’t help herself as she turned to look at her dark haired teammate and felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her when she realized that he was looking right at her.
“Hey! Don’t talk about Sakura-chan like that!” Naruto yelled far too loud inside of a restaurant. The blonde looked like he would start a fight in her honor but Kakashi-sensei had chosen that moment to make his appearance, stopping him in his tracks.
Sakura was relieved to see her sensei open the door to the dining area. At Sasuke’s words she had felt several pairs of eyes on her from around the room and the embarrassment left her completely flustered and wanting to curl up under the table and die. At her jounin sensei’s arrival most eyes fell on him and she used that as an opportunity to excuse herself to the restroom.
The dinner hadn’t lasted long after Kakashi-sensei arrived, the atmosphere was much more awkward than when they began and most people had almost finished their food at that point. Sakura wasn’t the first to leave but when Hinata had to excuse herself to head to her clan training Sakura was not far behind her.
“If that wasn’t a blatant rejection then I don’t know what is” She sighed to herself internally as she wiped the tears from her eyes and glanced around the dark forest they were in. A warm hand landing on her head and rustling her hair pulled her out of her thoughts.
“Maa Sakura-chan you look so sad,” Kakashi-sensei said softly from where he stood next to her “ I hate to see my favorite female student looking so defeated.” He smiled his typical closed eye smile at the unimpressed look she gave him.
“I’m your only female student, sensei.” She huffed as her eyes fell on one of the bandages from his injuries and the events of the bridge flooded her mind again.
“Kakashi sensei had to split his attention in his fight with Zabuza in order to protect Tazuna and I. If I had been stronger he probably would have been able to focus more on his fight and he might not have been injured.”
The thought came spilling out before she could stop herself.
“Sensei- If I were stronger do you think You and Sasuke-kun wouldn’t have been injured?”
He raised a lone eyebrow at her words and looked at her with a thoughtful expression. “ Yes and no, Sakura. There’s a chance that things could have gone differently if you were stronger, the same thing could be said for the boys. That isn’t what is expected of you three right now though.” He sighed patiently.
“This was supposed to be you guys’ first experience taking a more serious mission. Something to help you three, but you and Naruto especially, to understand what being a ninja entails.”
“Me and Naruto?” She questioned.
“ Yes, unlike Sasuke who has already experienced too much of the unpleasant side of the ninja world for a kid his age, all you and Naruto know are the washed legends they teach you in the academy or the stories you hear growing up. Most of which have lost a lot of their truth to be more digestible for the public.”
Sakura ducked her head at the truth of the statement. As a girl she had been obsessed with dashing tales of heroic ninjas and beautiful kunoichis. Something which helped to spur her to want to become a ninja in the first place.
The land of waves mission was an unpleasant reality check.
“Of course, no one could have expected what happened in Wave, a simple C-rank would have been more than sufficient to help you all dip your toes in.” He said seriously.
“This may hurt to hear Sakura, but the reason why the boys were able to act on that bridge is because they have something that makes them different. Both Naruto and Sasuke both have lived very difficult lives up to this point, lives filled with the worst kind of loneliness. For the two of them that manifests in a need to become stronger and to accomplish their goals.”
At the depressed look on her face he added “Except, it also makes them reckless. The both of them have a desperate need to prove themselves that spurs them to act even in dangerous situations where they could get hurt. Sakura, I’m not telling this to you to shame you for being different but so that you understand what makes your teammates so strong.” He finished with a light pat to her head.
“Now, you look exhausted. Why don’t you turn in for the night, you three deserve the rest and I can more than handle doing this watch tonight myself.” Sakura smiled at her sensei’s kindness but when the silver haired jounin pulled out his Icha Icha book she rolled her eyes fondly and crawled into her sleeping bag.
“I don’t want to rush recklessly into situations but I also don’t want to be weak and drag my team down.”
“Kakashi-sensei said that both the boys have something that pushes them to become stronger and accomplish their goals, so that’s what we need!”
“Like our own nindo?”
“Yes! Let’s find our goal and then use that to guide us into being the most badass kunoichi Konoha has ever seen, Shannaro!” Inner’s eyes blazed with fiery determination. Sakura couldn’t help but smile to herself.
“Alright, let’s find our ninja way.”