Work Text:
Blue was a little amazed by Ronan and Adam’s affinity for nonverbal communication.
She thought it was amazing when their eyes met on opposite ends of the room, exchanging secrets that nobody else understood. She thought it was amazing when she almost swore she saw electricity spark between them. She thought it was amazing how they said nothing but broke down in laughter anyway like Ronan had just told the funniest joke in the world.
She thought it was amazing how she and Gansey expressed their adoration for each other at every opportunity, so audibly and loudly in love they felt like they were going to burst at the seams, and how she hadn’t once heard Adam nor Ronan say those three words to each other.
Once, her nosiness got the best of her and she asked Adam why they never said “I love you”.
All Adam said was “We don’t need it”, but Blue thought she understood.
Words didn’t seem to have much meaning when they were like whispering and actions were like screaming. Their love wasn’t words because words weren’t enough, would never be enough. Their love was eyes meeting across the room, saying “Do you want to leave?” and “Are you okay?” and “Where do you want to eat?” Their love was hands on tense shoulders that said “Be strong, don’t lose it here”. Their love was hips bumping together and smiles on faces that said “You’re an idiot but you’re my idiot”.
Never said but always understood. Their love was communicated in so many ways that Blue didn’t understand, would never understand, but ways that she thought were amazing and beautiful, unequaled and inimitable.
It was Ronan furrowing his eyebrows as he looked sidelong at Adam, who had his hands shoved deep in his jean pockets and the collar on his flannel flipped up over his neck, Adam only glancing over when Ronan jerked the leather jacket off his own frame and draped it around Adam’s back. Adam looking at Ronan curiously, eyebrow raised, but letting his expression fall into a grateful smile as he slipped his freezing arms into the warm sleeves.
It was Ronan seething over his dreams and Adam laying down with his hand against Ronan's face, ghosting kisses against Ronan's jaw and cheeks and ears and neck. Adam singing softly in Ronan's ear, inability to hold a tune suddenly irrelevant, because Ronan just needed to hear his voice, hear something familiar, hear Adam.
It was tears burning in the back of Adam’s eyes at five AM on a Thursday morning because he was tired, so damn tired, and he couldn’t get this essay right to save his fucking life— but Ronan stayed up with him, a grounding weight against Adam’s back, hands in his hair and running up his arms. Adam leaning his head backwards, eyes closed, to rest on Ronan’s chest and he could have fallen asleep to Ronan’s heartbeat in his ears.
It was Adam losing it on their wedding day, what was supposed to be the best day of their lives, his parents should be there, they should be there to walk him down the aisle and give him away— and Ronan pressing Adam’s forehead into the crook of his neck until he could calm down, reminding him, your parents don't matter, they're not your family because they birthed you, your family is the people who took you in and accepted you no matter what.
It was those rare times that Ronan woke up before Adam, and Adam waking up alone with a CD where Ronan should have been. Adam listening to the CD on his drive to work and heart melting because it was a collection of all the songs that made Ronan think of Adam and Ronan didn't even go to sleep, he was up all night making this.
It was Adam, who wouldn’t miss a day of work or school even if he was on his deathbed, taking the week off to take care of Ronan through every illness, from a flu to a sinus infection to a common cold.
It was Ronan forcing Adam to take a few subsequent days off so he could take care of him after Adam caught Ronan’s cold.
It was Adam taking responsibility for Opal without question even though being the nineteen-year-old parent to a dream child was a lot to ask for, but he would go to the ends of the Earth for Ronan.
It was Adam not telling Ronan he was having a bad day, but Ronan knowing and coming back from the store with candy and movies and Adam being okay with it because he already accepted that it was nice when Ronan bought things for him.
It was Adam studying hard, a sharp ache in the back of his skull, and Ronan wordlessly sliding a mug of coffee over to him just the way Adam likes it.
It was buying each other gag presents that were meant to be funny but ended up as a punch to the chest in the best way because he was thinking about me.
It was always finding a way to talk about the other person to Blue or Gansey when they weren't around, without meaning to and without realizing.
It was Ronan making the drive from the Barns to Adam's school to surprise him outside his classroom with lunch.
It was Adam asking Ronan to call him when he got back to the Barns safely.
It was going out for ice cream at midnight when one of them was struggling.
It was Ronan needing to get to work but using his time instead to flip flashcards at Adam to help him prepare for a test.
It was Adam suffering through the Murder Squash Song because Ronan loved it and Adam loved whatever Ronan loved.
It was Ronan keeping Adam grounded during a panic attack.
It was Skyping but not saying anything because all they wanted was each other's company.
It was Adam subconsciously hooking his ankle around Ronan's under the table at Nino's.
It was hands grazing when they walked side by side.
It was standing on opposite sides of the room but looking at each other like nobody else existed. Like nobody else mattered. Like Adam was the center of Ronan's universe and like Ronan was the center of Adam's. And they were. The sun might as well have rose and set for the two of them.
It was.
It was, it was, it was.
It is.