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Courtney rifled through the bathroom with an urgency not usually seen on a Friday at 8pm, at least, not unless her and Rob were getting ready for a shower together, the kind where they ended up dirtier by the end.
None of that excitement tonight, no, tonight she was searching for tissues. She was certain they had a couple of boxes of kleenex still in here and someone else desperately needed them. Just as she was on the verge of giving up she spotted them out of the corner of her eye, tucked behind a basket they used for dirty towels and washcloths. Grabbing one she took it back out to the main part of the apartment, over to the sofa where she sees a sight which despite the worries and jealousy of the past warms her heart.
Mandy sat on the futon leaning forward, head in hands, shoulders heaving as she sobbed. Robert, ever the patient saint when needed, is kneeling on the floor in front of her, gently rubbing her shoulder and assuring her.
She’s dressed up, more dressed up than they’d seen her in a while. She’d been wearing a long dark blue peacoat which she’d shed at the door of the apartment alongside her heels. Both Rob and Courtney recognised the outfit underneath as the blue dress she’d been wearing the day she’d sent Courtney to fetch Rob into her office. There was a brief moment when Mandy had taken off the coat that they’d shared a knowing look, one that threatened to bubble out into the room with a joke or laugh, but they held steady for Mandy.
“It’s okay Mandy, we’re happy to help” he says calm and reassuring. It just seems to make her cry harder.
At that point Courtney comes to his rescue, handing over the box of tissues which he immediately rips open, pulling the first tissue out and holding the box in front of Mandy. A wet hand reaches away from her face and grabs one.
“thankyou” she mumbles, borderline unintelligible through her hands and tears.
Courtney decides to help Robert out and sits next to Mandy, grabbing one of her hands and holding it tightly.
“You’re alright Mandy. What happened? You kinda had us worried back there.” she says, gentle and kind.
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They’d been enjoying a pretty chill Friday until around 7:30pm. Cuddling on the sofa, eating takeout, drinking beer, stealing kisses, all while the TV played in the background. Beef was snoring lightly in his dog bed. It was going to be a night of working through a movie or two on Courtney’s ‘Educate Rob on movies’ list but instead they’d ended up with some sitcom on and that was just fine with them, they were mostly talking amongst themselves anyway. Rob’s phone had buzzed with a couple of notifications from Mandy a little earlier but on his lock screen they’d read as:
Mandy/Big Boss - Sorry to bother but…
Mandy/Big Boss - Nevermind actually…
So he hadn’t bothered to open them. However it wasn’t long until Courtney’s phone started ringing.
“Who’s calling you at this hour?” he sounded annoyed at the disturbance to their evening. She was about to decline the call when she noticed the caller ID.
“Huh. It’s Mandy.”
“Thought she was on a date tonight?”
“Yeah she is. I better answer then.” She swiped up to answer and held the phone to her head, leaning away a little from Rob so he couldn’t overhear Mandy. What she hadn’t expected was to hear the clattering of crockery and the sound of high heels clattering, a man’s voice echoing ‘You frigid bitch!’ in the background. It took her aback slightly so there was a delay in her speaking, enough that Mandy spoke first,
“Courtney, are you there?” She sounded so frightened. It felt so wrong to Courtney. Mandy, Blazer or not, never sounded frightened. Always had a handle on things or at least seemed to.
“Shit, yeah Mandy, I’m here. Are you okay?” At this Rob perked up and seemed more attentive, Courtney waved a hand at him and he settled back down into the sofa, still paying attention. He grabbed the TV remote and turned down the volume a couple of notches to make the call easier.
The sound of fast paced walking and accompanying breathing and then,
“Yeah Courtney, I’m fine… I’m..” A choked sob came through, “I’m.. no. I’m not fine..”
Courtney had dealt with enough shitty guys in the past to put two and two together and work out what had happened, or at least a close enough guess.
“Where are you?” she stood up, gesturing for Rob to do the same. She held her phone against her shoulder and whispered “grab my coat” before holding the phone back to her ear. Thankfully Robert got the hint and started to get everything ready for them to head out, grabbing a hoodie and her jacket for her and slipping his brown jacket on.
“Okay. Is there anywhere nearby where you can wait? You’re opposite the Starbucks? Okay, head in there, we’ll be as quick as we can.” The phone clicked off. Robert looked at her, a little confused, but ready to go.
“What happened Court?”
“I’m guessing a bad date. Real bad date. Bad enough we need to go like five minutes ago to get her.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, fuck. Come on.”
He quickly fussed over Beef who’d woken up in the excitement and told the dog they’d be back soon and they headed out.
They’d found Mandy in the corner of the Starbucks, startling her when they’d arrived, like she’d been expecting someone else. It was a slow and steady journey back to the apartment where they mostly walked in silence, Mandy with her head down, Courtney wrapping her arm around Mandy’s in support. They’d arrived back at the apartment and the moment Mandy sat on the futon she just broke down in uncontrollable tears, leading Courtney to go on her tissue hunt.
-------------------------
The physical contact from Courtney seems to ground Mandy slightly and the sniffling abates for a moment, being replaced by a red flush of embarrassment as the last few minutes comes crashing back in her mind.
“God this is embarrassing..” she says, groaning, voice still wet from the tears.
“No judgement here, you’ve cried less than Court did at the end of You’ve Got Mail” he quips.
“Asshole!” she slugs his shoulder in that softer, affectionate way she does now, “Don’t let my secrets get out like that!” She's joking, trying to lighten the moment, take a bit of the tension out before it swallows Mandy whole.
The antics before her cause her to laugh, a breathy wet chuckle that reveals just how exhausted she’s feeling. She wants nothing more than to curl into a ball and just disappear but two of her closest friends are looking at her with concern and they deserve an explanation after she’s just barged in on a very cosy evening, if the takeout boxes and beers are anything to go by.
Rob notices her glancing around the table and asks
“Want a beer? We got Modelo or Sierra Nevada.”
“God. Yes. That sounds great right now. Whichever, dealers choice.” It’ll give her something to focus on. She watches as Rob stands, sees the wordless interaction between him and Courtney, the nods and gestures, little hints, before he returns with three green bottles. Sierra Nevada it is then. She stares at the bottle as if it’ll help with the aching in her soul.
“I.. uh. Probably should explain myself right?” She looks up, an awkward forced smile on her face. They’re both just watching her with kind patient faces.
“So I told you I had a date tonight? Fancy dinner at Ligera?” She watches them both nod in agreement. “I was so fucking excited you know?” She takes a very large swig of her beer before carrying on, “I’d been chatting to this guy for a while. Met him out in some cafe a few weeks ago, bumped into him and he asked for my number. We talked, grabbed a coffee, he seemed so nice…”
She pauses briefly and catches another little look between them in front of her. It makes her feel nauseous, so keeps speaking in the hope it’ll stop the feeling.
“He seemed such a considerate guy, so funny when we spoke, and it felt so easy being around him. So when he asked me out for what he called ‘a proper date’ I was so excited, I didn't even stop to think I just said yes.”
She can feel Courtney squeezing her hand. Her mind is replaying the events of earlier and it’s threatening to overwhelm her with tears again. She lets out a quiet sob but before it can descend into full tears she hears a quiet jingling and then a large furry lump appears in her lap courtesy of Rob.
“Here. Have a Beef, he’s proven to help in these kinda moments.” He says in that kind way he’s so good at it makes her want to scream.
Beef is looking up at her, his dopey face full of curiosity, his tongue lolling over to one side of his mouth. She laughs mirthlessly and puts her empty beer bottle down, she hadn’t even realised she’d drank it all so quick, using the newly freed hand to pet the dog on her lap.
“Thanks, you’re right, he does help..” He was right, it did help, the furry weight was grounding if nothing else.
At that, Rob moved to the futon, sitting to her right side. She was now completely penned in, Courtney to her left and Beef on her lap.
“So I meet him at the restaurant and.. God I feel like such an idiot. I hadn’t told him I’d been Blazer, just that I worked at SDN. He brought it up within the first five minutes. He’d basically stalked me online, done some digging or something, and managed to work out the similarities between plain old me and Blazer. I asked him politely to drop it, thought I could salvage things and he just… wouldn’t. Wouldn’t stop asking and the conversation got weirder and weirder and he got nasty and made some lewd comments and.. and.. That’s when I called you and ran.”
“Shit Mandy, I’m so sorry.” Courtney says, squeezing her hand again.
“I just had to get out of there. I messaged Rob but when he didn’t reply I called you.”
Robert panics ever so slightly at that, realising Courtney's eyes are now on him in judgement. He raises his hands in a placatory gesture before grabbing his phone and showing it to both of them.
“If I'd realised it was serious I wouldn’t have hesitated to open them, I just saw the ‘nevermind’ and didn’t think it was anything important.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, “I’m really sorry Mandy, I should’ve been there for you earlier.”
“Yeah, not your finest Mecha Man but we move.” Courtney snapped back, not angry but there’s a little disappointment in her voice. A sad acknowledgement that while Rob didn’t necessarily do anything wrong, if he’d checked his messages they could’ve spared Mandy more hurt. It’s too much for Mandy though, she can’t let herself be responsible for an argument between them, so she goes to stand in a rush, displacing Beef onto Courtney's lap where she catches him before he rolls off the sofa.
“Woah, where are you going Mandy?” Rob sounds shocked, hurt even. Probably because she just nearly threw his dog to the floor in her haste.
“I’m gonna go. I’ve ruined enough of your evening, please, I’m fine. Thank you for getting me out of that situation but I’m alright now.” She spews out, fast and panicked. Stumbling to try and move around but Courtney stares at her,
“No. I ain’t letting you go anywhere till you’re calmer. Sorry Mandy but take it from me, hitting the streets when you’re upset and panicking is a bad idea.”
She wants to fight, to pull rank and tell them no, but in this house she’s not Mandy - Head of SDN Torrance, she’s just… Mandy. The stunt has also cost her what little energy she had left as the adrenaline of the evening fully leaves her. She collapses back onto the sofa in a heap, tears in her eyes again. It’s all becoming a bit much, being around these two.
“I.. just.. I just want what you two have… is that so much to ask?” her voice is smaller than ever, meek and hurting.
Courtney is first to reply, “There’ll be someone for you Mandy, someone lucky to have you. Someone who sees you for you, who loves you for you, unashamedly.”
If she wasn’t feeling the effects of the wine at the restaurant followed by the beer she’d drank on an empty stomach with her low tolerance, wasn’t feeling so hurt and broken from the failed date, so self-pitying in her emotions, she’d have seen it for what it was meant to be. A kind statement of support from a woman she considered a close friend.
Unfortunately, she was feeling all of that. In the face of their affection and easy dynamic, it caused other things to bubble up. Her attraction to Rob that right until this moment she thought she’d moved on from. She also noticed how similar it had sounded to Rob when he did one of his stupid pep talks. How much he’d clearly been rubbing off on her.
She’d bet good money he was grinning at her in that stupid supportive way he did whenever Courtney stepped up the mark and got it so right she hit it out the park. A glance to her right confirmed just that. So in her turbulent state her mind goes into overload and she lashes out.
“I thought I already had somebody!” She shouts, silencing the room. She looks at Courtney with fire in her eyes. In her heart she knows she’s being cruel, being mean, but she feels so hollow and Courtney is looking at her with nothing but concern right now.
“I thought I had him…” They all know what him she’s referring to, “Thought after he kissed me once it wouldn’t be the last. Thought that maybe he rain-checked dinner cause he was busy, thought that maybe your dancing at his housewarming was just you guys being friendly or something, that it would pass. I thought that maybe it was just the chaos of everything coming together and that I’d get my chance but no!”
She expects Courtney to start fighting, to shout and scream and push back, but nothing comes.
“But no. You take a bullet for him and then you come wheeling out to the ambulance on a stretcher and god. He looked at you like you were his everything. I saw how fucked up Shroud was after Rob battered him to hell and back. I know that was for you, because Shroud hurt you. It’s a miracle Rob didn’t kill him. All I wanted was for him to look at me like that. Like I was all he could ever want.” She’s deflating rapidly as the flash of anger wears off.
“I’m so happy for you two. You deserve each other, you’re so right for each other it’s sickening but god does it hurt. It really hurts.” She covers her face with her hands. “I shouldn’t have asked you to help tonight, I shouldn’t have come.”
The silence is deafening, until there's a rustling of clothing and she feels Beef being placed back onto her lap. Courtney stands up and Mandy feels panic rising in her, awaiting the tirade that she's sure to follow. She braces herself for the onslaught, for the moment Courtney quite rightfully throws her to the dirt and she loses one of her closest friends because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. It never comes. There’s light padding of feet as Courtney walks away, the quiet grind of a drawer opening and closing, and the sound of feet returning closer. A hand on her shoulder.
“I think you two have a lot to talk about. I’m gonna take myself out to the balcony before I say something that I’ll regret.” Courtney’s voice is steady, firm, disciplined but the underlying hurt is obvious.
The sound of the balcony door sliding open and shut cuts through the only other sounds in the room which is the steady breathing of Rob.
“I really should go Rob, I’ve done enough damage already.”
“Well genie’s out the bottle now Mandy, running away isn’t gonna put it all back in.” His voice is dry, he’s clearly angry but he’s keeping his voice steady. It’s like he’s gone into Dispatcher mode, problem solving in his mind.
“I’ve really done it now haven’t I.” She braces herself for the reply. What he says next shatters her.
“You told me we were good. More than good, you said.” His voice was firm but sad. No, actually. Mandy realised it was much worse. His tone was that of disappointment. Rob was disappointed in her and it stung. “You told me to make her happy. You told us you were happy for us. How you can say those things and then come to me with this.. Fuck Mandy. Has this been in your mind in every meeting we’ve had regarding working together? When you’ve put together reports for HR?”
“God no Robert, of course not..” She can barely look at him, she just keeps glancing at Courtney on the balcony, smoking a cigarette like her life depended on it. Rob must’ve noticed where her eyes kept going.
“She’ll be okay, I hope. Some fresh air and a cigarette or two and she’ll have got her thoughts in order.”
“That’s not the Courtney I’m used to. I thought I was about to get cursed out or slugged a new one before she ran or kicked me out.” That gets a dry laugh out of Rob.
“Well, she’s put a lot of work in. No more running, or very little at least.”
“I’m such a terrible friend aren’t I.”
“I’m not going to sugarcoat it Mandy, it wasn’t exactly your finest move to make your friend who you know has struggled with issues of self-worth and belonging feel selfish for finding love.” It lands very heavily in her soul. He doesn’t sugarcoat, his tone harsh and honest. The truth laid bare, it rips her apart inside and she feels awful.
All Mandy can do is groan heavily at that. She’s just staring at Beef now. If she looks at Courtney smoking on the balcony she’ll probably cry. She doesn’t dare look at Rob, there’s not a single look on his face she can imagine that wouldn’t break her right now. His voice cuts through her thoughts again,
“I wish you’d spoken to me about it. About how you felt. I can’t say I’d have reciprocated because that’d be a lie. Unfortunately whatever might’ve been between us went out when that one out there came into my life. But we could’ve talked about this and maybe stopped it becoming such a sore spot.”
His diplomatic approach gets her back up. She hadn’t even cared that much before today, sure she’d had her moments of stewing on it but now it was being treated like a problem to fix and it annoyed her slightly.
“Yeah, great idea. ‘Hi Rob, I know we’re friends and I’m your boss, but I actually want to take you out for dinner and maybe you can kiss me like you kissed Invisigal on the stretcher.’” She’s being facetious and she knows it but it’s becoming quite hurtful to talk about.
“Mandy…” That stern tone she’s heard him use hundreds of times when reviewing Z-Team shifts and comms. The one when he’s warning someone to wind it in. Never thought she’d be on the receiving end.
“Yeah I know, I know, I’m being an ass.” Her mind yells at her to stop with self-pitying.
“No. You’re hurting and you’re lashing out and that’s understandable. I know more than you realise how it feels to be reduced to the front you give people. Be it a mech or an amulet and a spandex suit, it fucking sucks. To have someone you care for to reduce you to that sucks even more and I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Despite what me and Courtney share, there’s been bumps and love isn’t perfect. I can’t imagine what it was like having to watch us while feeling the way you do though.”
“..Thanks Rob.. I appreciate that..”
“But, it still doesn’t justify how you’ve just spoken to her. Or how you’ve spoken about me if I’m being honest, but it’s her I’m worried about. That shit will have hurt. I don’t know if you quite realise just how much some of what you said will have cut to the core of her insecurities and doubts.”
She finally turns to look at him and he’s not mad or angry, just has that almost infuriatingly patient look. Maybe that’s his superpower, patience. That or his power is schooling himself to cover his emotions.
“Can you hold Beef for me? I think I need to speak to her.” He nods and she shuffles the fluffy lump onto his lap as she stands. Beef immediately jumps off and returns to his basket, sensing that comforting duty is over.
She walks over to the balcony and lets herself out, closing the door behind her and leaning on the railing next to Courtney, who takes a very long drag of her cigarette to finish it off and immediately gets out another. She turns ever so slightly to Mandy and gestures with the pack.
“Want one? I find they help when I’m making stupid mistakes.” It’s a quip that betrays the hurt but also a clear desire to move forward, so Mandy takes the olive branch.
“I’ve never really smoked, not since high school, but fuck it.”
“Atta girl.”
Courtney offers up the lighter and lights Mandy’s cigarette, watching with amusement as Mandy immediately starts coughing heavily, smoke spluttering into the night air.
“Gotta say with all this swearing you’ve been doing and the smoking, you’re at risk of becoming too cool Blondie.” It hurts a little she’s stopped using her name, reverting back to calling her Blondie. Hurts that the walls have come up but Mandy only has herself to blame.
“I..” cough “wouldn’t go..” cough “that far..”
“Don’t drag so heavy, take it easy if you haven’t smoked in a while. Last thing we need now is you getting a nicotine high and going loopy on us.”
Mandy’s happy to see a smile on Courtney’s face, even if it’s due to her inability to smoke. Time to see if she can repair some bridges she’s certain she burnt to a crisp.
“Hey.. uh.. I owe you a really big apology for my outburst there…” she starts, uneasy and uncertain. She looks over and Courtney is just looking ahead, face neutral, taking another hearty drag from her cigarette. “I got so caught up in my own head and my own problems that I started to believe my own bullshit…”
The swear gets a little snort out of Courtney, an encouraging sign.
“I don’t know when this idea that I ‘had’ Rob came into my head but I wish it never had. It became a comfort though? I don’t know if I can explain without sounding really conceited.”
“With all due respect Blondie, that ship sailed when you yelled at me that you thought you ‘had’ Robert.”
“Yeah, that’s fair. Well. I guess with all the hectic activity in the aftermath and seeing how good you two were together I just started to feel really lonely. It’d slip into my mind at times, never meant for it to, didn’t think it would ever be an issue.”
Courtney finishes her cigarette and Mandy just offers her the remaining two thirds of hers that she hasn’t smoked, she takes it wordlessly and Mandy takes that as permission to continue.
“I complained to Chase about it once you know. That Rob cancelled dinner on me and that it turned out he went with you.” She sees Courtney turn, clearly a little more interested. “I know, I know. It was really poor of me but I was having a really stressful day and in my feelings and I guess I hoped with the history between you two he might’ve indulged me but you know what he said?”
“I feel like I’m gonna be surprised by this one.”
“Yeah, you probably are. He just looked me dead in the eyes and asked me if I’d gone blind.”
“Blind?”
“Yeah. Asked me if I was blind. Said I must be if I couldn’t see how good you two were for each other. How you brought the best out of each other.”
“Huh. Didn’t realise Captain Dementia had a heart.”
“You’d be surprised. Whatever ill will he may have had for you is long gone. He sees the life you breathed into Robert. He sees the work you do, the care and passion. You should’ve heard him talking about your dispatch stats when you stepped into the chair that time to cover Robert. He was positively raving about you.”
“That’s.. Not what I expected.”
“He’s right too. You two are so good for each other and I’m so happy for you both. I guess I just let myself wallow a little too deep.”
“Look, I get it. I really do. I know what it’s like to have shit blow up in your face, shit go wrong, and all you want to do is find someone else to blame, but you have to know how much what you said hurt.”
“That’s fair, I-”
“I’m not finished, Blondie. I’ve fought a lot of battles in my head and my heart to be where I am now. Taken me a long time. I deserve this and I deserve him. Not because I'm owed him, not because I beat you to the punch, but because he wants me and I want him. Because I love him and for some fucking reason, he loves me back. He’s been so goddamn patient with me through all my bullshit and tonight.. Tonight nearly made me run from him again. I’m not gonna forget that easily.”
“I understand, I can-”
“Will you just.. Shush. Please. I’m not gonna forget it that easily but.. But I do forgive you and your drunk ass brain. Though I gotta be honest you need to talk to someone about what’s been going on in your head, today’s been kinda wild and I think it might require some professional analysis.”
Mandy laughs at that.
“Yeah, you’re probably right there. Are we..?” She wants to ask, it’s on the tip of her tongue but she can’t quite get it out.
“Yeah Mandy, we’re still friends, take a lot more than that to get rid of me these days.” She flicks the cigarette away and gestures at the balcony door, “Come on, let’s go back in before I smoke anymore. My lungs are gonna be screaming at me for three in a row already.”
The room is a little tidier than earlier, the takeout and empty beers cleared. Beef is still snoozing in his bed. Rob’s washing dishes in the sink with his earbuds in, oblivious to them entering the room. Courtney taps Mandy on the shoulders, placing her finger over her lips in a shushing motion and goes invisible. Seconds later she reappears behind Robert, arms round his waist, whispering boo in his ear. He jumps up in shock before laughing and whispering something in her ear. It makes Mandy wish she had Sonar's bat ears. She watches as the two in front of her kiss, gentle and loving before Courtney disappears into the bedroom.
Feeling a little bit adrift, she crouches down to pet Beef. She’s not really sure what to do now. Part of her just wants to grab her coat and go now everything is more settled. Another part of her doesn’t really want to leave things as they are. The click of the door shutting breaks her out of her reverie and she sees Courtney approaching her with clothes in her arms.
“Here, take these and get changed. That dress has gotta be uncomfortable.”
“Changed for what? Is that..?” She’s holding up the t-shirt which says ‘I was Mecha Man for 15 Years and All I Got Was This Lousy Shirt’
“Yeah, one of Rob’s shirts. I got him that one, if you couldn’t tell.”
“Why..?” Mandy feels so confused.
“Changed for comfort? Changed for sleep? Whatever you wanna call it.”
All the while Rob is finishing up in the kitchen, chuckling to himself as the interaction carries on.
“Why..? I can just go home, it’s okay.” She stammers out.
Courtney walks up and places a hand on her shoulder, face softening, almost like she’s about to explain something to a child. It would feel condescending if Mandy didn’t feel so exhausted from everything.
“Mandy. It’s late, you’re exhausted and it’s been an emotional evening. Just get changed, stay the night. We can all have a beer, watch something stupid on TV, and you can sleep on the futon. We’d really prefer you didn’t go home and spend the night stewing in your thoughts.”
It’s a little overwhelming, the kindness of the gesture, even if she expects nothing less from Rob and clearly now Courtney. She should thank them but all she can think to say is,
“What happened to you Courtney..? How are you this.. Nice..?”
Luckily Courtney just laughs,
“That dumbass happened to me, you should know that by now.” She points at him across the room and he shrugs his shoulders.
“Sorry not sorry!” he calls across the room.
---------------------
They’ve settled onto the futon. Mandy sits in the middle, flanked by Rob on her left and Courtney on her right. She’d tried to insist they sit together but had been shut down. Courtney had wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner and said
“Trust me Mandy you don’t want us getting too cosy next to you.”
Mandy awkwardly smiles and Robert just lets out one of his deep exhausted sighs, the ones that came straight from his soul when Courtney was being a shit.
A couple of hours passed by, they sipped on beers, ordered some pizza when Mandy’s stomach rumbled and she confessed she’d ran out of the date before eating anything. A quiet peace lay over the apartment like a comforting blanket. They’d just been watching sitcoms again and the free laughter and joking had finally prompted Mandy to relax, realising that the people beside her, two of her closest friends, had let the earlier episode go.
Courtney eventually changed the entertainment to a movie, insisting to both of them that it was a classic and absolutely had to be watched.
Unfortunately The Truman Show was perhaps a little much for the exhausted and the now tipsy again Mandy who started to fall asleep around halfway through. Neither Courtney or Rob seemed to notice though, fully engaged in the movie before them. It’s only as they approach the tail end of the film that Mandy’s sleeping form loses its battle with gravity and she ends up resting against him. She wakes slightly as she lands against the side of his chest and seems to notice where she is. However, her half asleep brain decides to cuddle in and she wraps an arm around him before closing her eyes fully again. Rob looks at Courtney with an expression of abject panic and she has to shove her sleeve into her mouth to stifle laughter. She just looks back to the movie, ignoring Rob's panicking.
The movie finally ends and Courtney stands up and stretches. Robert goes to jostle Mandy, to wake her up and get the futon ready in bed mode, when he feels the gentle touch of Courtney’s hand on his cheek, pulling him to face her.
“Don’t disturb her,” she says lightly.
“But we gotta get the futon set up and I don’t think she’s gonna be happy she cuddled me all night, it can’t be good for her.. You know? Feelings.”
“Let her have this one night Rob. Look at her face.” Quiet but confident in her words.
Which he did. She looked relaxed, happy. Like the stress of the weeks and months before and the emotion of the day had disappeared.
“Are you sure..? I’m a bit worried this is a bad idea..” he replied, whispering so as not to disturb Mandy.
“I’m not telling you to fuck her Rob. She’s been hurting and I can tell you from experience how much good falling asleep on you can do for someone. Let her rest. It’s not like you don’t have extensive expertise falling asleep literally anywhere.” She bends over and picks up Beef, settling him in her arms. “Anyway, I’ve got this handsome guy to keep me company”
With that she walks off into the bedroom, leaving Robert sat with Mandy curled round his middle in the lamplight of the apartment. He looked down at the woman next to him.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be your forever Mandy. Maybe in another universe.” He says quietly, sincerely. He lets one hand rest on her and she murmurs in her sleep.
“Now you’re getting into the swing of it” Courtney whispers, voice filled with mirth, as she walks over from the bedroom door. “Careful Tiger or we’re gonna end up having a threesome.”
“You’re incorrigible,"
“You’re too smart for your own good, Mecha Man, throwing words like that around,”
They laugh quietly.
“I brought you some supplies for your service Lieutenant.” She holds up a blanket and pillow, placing the pillow under his neck and then draping the blanket over them, then reaching into the pocket of her hoodie, pulls out his phone and hands it to him.
“Thank you soldier” he replies, stifling a laugh.
She’s crouched down to his level now.
“What a day, am I right?”
“What a day. Didn’t expect to end it cuddling Blonde Blazer” he says the last two words in an exaggerated breathy tone like he’s impressed.
“I know Tiger, all coming up for Mecha Man.” She jokes back. “You’re a good man Rob. I’m so glad I get to love you.” She presses a gentle kiss to his lips.
“I’m the lucky one. I get you. Fiery and forgiving and the best I could ever ask for.”
“Careful. Gonna give me an ego carrying on like that.”
“Well we can’t have that.”
She stands to return to the bedroom.
“Beef’s gonna be getting all cold and lonely in there so I better go back in,” He rolls his eyes at that, “Look after her tonight.”
“I will.”
She presses one more kiss to his lips, this one a little more intense, and heads back to the bedroom, turning the lights off as she goes.
They text for a little bit before he hears Courtney’s gentle snores through the bedroom door. He puts his phone down and closes his eyes.
-----------------------------
As Mandy begins to wake up she feels very warm, at first she finds it quite comfortable but then it registers she shouldn’t feel this warm. It’s then she registers the gentle rising and falling she’s doing. Finally her brain catches up fully and she registers the arm slung along her back and she bolts upright.
Laughter echoes through the apartment and she snaps round to see Courtney behind the kitchen unit brewing coffee and laughing.
“Mornin’ sleepyhead. Feeling better?”
Mandy looks down and sees Rob lay on the sofa, pillow under head and blanket half pulled off by her, sleeping heavy and undisturbed even by her movements.
“OhmygodCourtneyi’msosorry”
“For what?” It takes Mandy aback, Courtney looks confused?
“For… cuddling your boyfriend?”
“O-kay?”
“Why aren’t you freaking out right now?”
“Why are you?”
“You know why!”
“Not really. We thought it was better if you slept undisturbed.”
“Slept undisturbed?! On Robert!”
“Yeah? And? I love sleeping on Robert. He’s like a really gruff scar covered pillow. I’m still not seeing the issue?”
“The issue is it’s incredibly inappropriate what I did!”
Courtney bursts out laughing again, which just makes Mandy more incredulous.
“Courtney!” Mandy chides
“Okay that one was good. No really. As if that matters to me, the walking HR nightmare.”
“Can you take this seriously?!”
“Did you fuck?”
“What! No!”
“Did ya kiss?”
“Of course not!”
“Shame, that woulda been hot.”
“Stop that!”
“Stop worrying then.”
“I can’t!”
“Look! You fell asleep, fell on him by accident. You looked so peaceful, so at ease, that I told him to stay put and let you get a good night's sleep. Was it a good night's sleep?”
That takes Mandy aback a bit.
“Uh.. yeah?”
“Did you think at all about the shit that happened that day?”
“Uh.. no..?”
“Mission accomplished then. You rested, you didn’t send yourself silly overthinking, it’s all good.” Courtney finished, very matter of fact, like there was no more discussion to be had. She looked back up, “Coffee?”
“That’d be great actually.. Yeah.”
“Well come over here then, don’t disturb my man any more than you need to with all your yelling.”
So Mandy did, carefully extraditing herself from the sofa and placing the blanket back over Robert as she did. Her mind was still reeling. If you’d told her months ago she’d get to fall asleep cuddling Robert she’d have been pretty excited. Now it felt… hollow? Make no mistake, she’d enjoyed it thoroughly if the quality of her sleep was anything to go by, but it still didn’t feel… right?
As she walks over to the kitchen island and sips her coffee her mind catches up on the previous evening. She remembers waking up slightly on him and just cuddling into him like it was normal which was quite frankly mortifying. The bit that she’s really struggling with though is Courtney.
She’d woken ever so slightly when Rob had jostled her for whatever reason but her tired drunken self had really not wanted to move unless she absolutely had to so she’d kept her eyes shut and remained in place. Which is when she heard Courtney speak,
‘Don’t disturb her,”
What? You should be kicking me out your door.
‘Let her have this one night Rob. Look at her face,’
Oh. After everything, she still cared enough to put my peace over theirs.
She’d listened to their back and forth. Felt Rob put his arm around her, felt the comforting weight, let it wash over. Nearly broke into tears when she heard him apologise to her for loving someone else. As if that was his fault, a flaw he needed to apologise for. Listened a little more to the joking, the declarations of love, and as her mind finally let herself fall to sleep she caught the last bit about looking after her.
The cascading memories hit pretty hard, so much so she was about to apologise again for everything but Courtney beat her to it.
“Don’t even think about saying sorry again or I swear to god Mandy I will end you.” She deadpans.
So Mandy says the next best thing,
“..Thank you.”
A soft smile spreads on Courtney’s face.
“S’what friends are for right? Though I will warn you, I’m not sharing him with you any more. I’m greedy.”
“Thought you’d be down for a threesome?” Mandy jokes back, trying to match Courtney’s usual energy.
“Didn’t think you knew what a threesome was,”
“That wasn’t a no Courtney,” She deadpans back, sipping her coffee to stop herself laughing. Courtney is looking at her with a shocked expression like her brain is processing that this might be a serious offer. Mandy decides to put her out of her misery. “I’m joking. Genuinely.”
“Had me worried for a second there Mandy. I told you, I'm greedy, I don’t share well.”
“I think you encouraging your boyfriend to look after me shows you’re actually the complete opposite.”
“Yeah, well. Sue me or some shit.”
The moment is interrupted by a horrific chesty snort from Rob as he wakes up on the sofa. Groans echo around the space as he stretches out before a soft ‘ooof’ as Beef jumps on him for attention.
“Look what you’re missing out on,” Courtney deadpans, “Regular Hugh Hefner over there”
“Yeah the snorts are really doing it for me” Mandy replies with a laugh. She leans in to Courtney, “Thank you though. I think last night was what I needed. To get over myself when it comes to him.”
“I’m glad.” A simple response, all that was needed, all Courtney could muster in the moment. She’d gone to bed last night proud of herself for holding it together but she was running out of energy to deal with it all.
At this point Rob had shuffled over to the kitchen island, bleary eyed and still groaning and mumbling. Without a word Courtney passed over a cup of coffee which he took with a grateful nod, taking a long deep drink. It seems to reinvigorate him as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.
“So how are you two feeling this morning?”
“I think we’re good-” Mandy starts while Courtney says at the same time “We’re planning a threesome.”
Mandy starts spluttering, denying such a thing while Courtney laughs. Rob just chuckles to himself, shakes his head, and walks off to continue his morning routine.
“I don’t know how he puts up with you sometimes.”
“Puts up with me? You wound me Mandy. I put up with him. You heard the snorting.”
Mandy just laughs.
“I should probably get home soon. Get out of your guys’ hair. Just give me a little bit to freshen up and change and I'll get ready to go.”
“Don’t worry about the clothes Mandy, you can give em back at work on Monday.”
“Are you sure?”
“Gotta be better than looking like you’re doing the walk of shame in the dress.”
“That’s very true.”
Mandy gets herself together, a quick freshen up in the bathroom splashing water on her face. Finishes her coffee and gives Beef a fuss for a few moments before slipping her coat and heels back on. She must look a bit of a fool in sweatpants and heels but right now she couldn’t care less. She just wants to be back home.
Robert pulls her in for a hug, it’s warm and friendly. Courtney does the same, though hers is a little tighter. Equal parts understanding and sympathy, maybe just a tiny bit of a warning in the tightness.
The door shuts behind her and she begins her walk home. There’d definitely been a moment when she considered a cab or an uber, especially when she remembered all she had for footwear was heels, but she could do with the walk.
Looking back, the last day had been a bit of a trip. Wasn’t exactly on her Friday night bingo card to have crashed out of a date, had what can only be described as an epic crashout in front of two of her closest friends, and then spent the night cuddled against a man she once wanted more than anything.
It takes a moment for her to register in her own mind that she referred to her own attraction to Rob in the past tense.
It was true though. She’d spoken from her rather fractured heart the night before when she’d had her outburst. She had still cared for Rob, had felt that her chance was stolen from her in some twisted way, but now? No longer.
Maybe it was the hurt she knew she’d inflicted on Courtney, the woman who’d come to save her from that date without so much as a question. The woman she’d watched grow from a supervillain with an attitude problem to one of the most caring and considerate people she’d ever met, who smiled rather than scowled, who despite insult had remained at her side in one way or another.
Perhaps it was the way Rob told her straight that he couldn’t have ever reciprocated her feelings. Definitely bursts the bubble that she ‘missed out’ on a chance with him. A chance that she’s always known deep down she never truly had.
Then there’s the fact she got to experience it. What it was like to be with him, in one small way. The comfort of being with him, in his arms, sleeping. Normal and domestic. She’d slept well. She enjoyed it. But looking back it felt so wrong, like she wasn’t meant to be there. Not just in that moment with his actual partner nearby but overall. A startling realisation that they would never have fit. She wasn’t ever destined to be the other half of him. It’s quite freeing, a weight lifting off her shoulders she hadn’t realised she was carrying.
Her thoughts have carried her nearly all the way home and when she finally gets into her apartment the first thing she does is wash the clothes they lent her and grab a shower. As soon as they’re dry she’ll bag them up and get them ready to drop at Rob’s desk. She’ll go in early, no need for anyone else to see less any gossip starts. Until Monday though, she’s just going to enjoy the peace of her apartment.
----------------------------------
Rob’s apartment, later that Saturday
They’re laying on the sofa in a lazy haze. Since Mandy left earlier they haven’t really done much except tidy any remaining mess and shower. Music softly emanates from a speaker but not loud enough to disrupt any conversation. Courtney is laying flat over the sofa, head in Roberts lap looking up at him, Beef sat on her legs as she stroked and scratched him. Rob had one hand curled in Courtney's hair, drawing reassuring patterns against her scalp in the way she loved, even if it threatened to send her to sleep.
“How are you feeling?” he asks,
“Real good. Y’gonna send me to sleep like this Robbie,” she murmurs in response,
“I mean after yesterday, and this morning actually. It was a lot.” His tone is measured, like he doesn’t want to reignite anything but just wants to check in.
“Yeah. It was.” Quiet, reflective.
The room settles with just the quiet music punctuating the silence between the two of them. Rob could push the point but he knows Courtney will speak her mind when he’s ready, so he just carries on with his touches. Eventually she speaks up again.
“I nearly ran out.”
“I know.”
“There was this flash in my mind when she started talking about the first days we knew each other. Anger, mostly. Jealousy too. Especially the way she spoke like you were destined for her and I just got in the way. I know it's not true but it just set some old habits off I guess?”
“What stopped you?”
“I’ve told you before I don’t want to run anymore.”
Rob looks at her with a questioning look, letting it speak for him. She rolls her eyes and sighs,
“Fine. I guess I’ve been there? Felt so low and so fucked up that you just want to blame anyone you can. Kinda did it all the time in the Invisibitch days. Shit can really eat you alive if you let it.” She looks towards Beef and scratches him a little more, “We both knew she still had something for you, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise. Doesn’t hurt that you've made it very clear to me over the past few months how unfounded any jealousy I had was.” The last bit makes him smirk slightly,
“Makes me wish I had spoken to her before though.”
“To say what? Trust me Rob, last night was only ever gonna happen like it did. I don’t think she’d ever have let all that out any other way. Unfortunately for you Mecha Man, you can’t fix everything for everyone. Thought I'd got that through to you by now.” She looks up at him with a soft smile, a reassurance that she’s not annoyed at him or anything.
“Fuck. When did you become the level-headed one here?”
“Started when you walked into my life, asshole. I used to be cool. Stone cold. A rebel. You did this to me.” She narrows his eyes at him, trying to convey some semblance of annoyance but he just chuckles.
“Nothing says cool like smashing donuts into my keyboard, that's for sure.”
“Hey! Don’t be bringing up ancient history!”
“Court that was like 6 months ago.”
“Yeah. Ancient history. Least by our standards”
“I guess. Fuck. We really just race through shit don’t we.”
“I like it. Feels pretty appropriate for us.”
“Well speaking of racing ahead, what was that earlier about a threesome? We could do with spicing things up in the bedroom. ” he jokes, leading her to remove a hand from Beef and slug him in his stomach. There’s not much weight due to the awkward angle but enough he does feel it.
“Asshole.”
“You’re the one who said it!” he says, breathless from the hit.
“Yeah to fuck with you. Never said you could do it back.” She’s trying to maintain a facade of annoyance but a smile is breaking through.
At that moment his phone buzzes. He leans over to check it and sees the ID on the notification.
“It’s Mandy.”
“Better open it, just in case she’s managed to go on another shitty date and needs saving” Courtney jokes.
He grabs his phone, feeling a few more notifications buzz as he opens the message chain.
“She’s word vomming” he says before starting to read it aloud to Courtney:
Just wanted to thank you both again for looking after me
I’m so sorry again for any hurt caused by my outburst I wasn’t in a good place
Shit you already know that
Fuck im really bad at this
I guess I just want to say please don’t worry that im still caught up on you
I was a bit but i wasn’t really and i think just being around you two all perfect and in sync just made me feel sad and that turned to anger and that was so wrong
hope that makes sense
I realised on the walk home that i should probably avoid trying to process heavy emotions with alcohol and no food on my friends couch
I hope we’re all good, i’m sorry if I made it feel like we weren’t
I’m gonna eat some really greasy food now and try not to die of residual embarrassment
“Blondie really does have a way with words when she wants doesn’t she”
“Yeah, you could say that. It’s weird enough hearing her swear, somehow it’s worse when it’s typed?”
“I hope she doesn’t feel bad about this too long though, it’ll make Tuesdays HR meeting suuuuper awkward”
“The meetings are already super awkward Court.”
“Even more so then?”
“I think it’ll pass with the hangover today. She’ll be fine by Monday.”
“She’s on to something with the greasy food though,” She looks up at him with her best puppy dog eyes, hoping he takes the hint.
“You know we can’t Court we had two takeouts last night,” He’s trying to be disciplined but now she’s pouting in her slightly adorable ‘i’m losing a stupid argument’ way.
“C’mon the pizza doesn’t count.”
“How’d you figure that smart ass?”
“It was bad date pizza. Doesn’t count. Basically medicine, so it can't be bad for you.”
“It’s no wonder you used to make such good decisions with logic like that.”
“You love my logic.”
“I love you.”
“Charmer.”
“Flirt.”
They laugh, her leaning up and him folding over to meet in the middle for a kiss.
“Fuck. Fine. I’ll make you a deal.”
“I’m all ears Mecha Man.”
“We can have greasy food…”
“YES! Victory!” she leaps off his lap throwing her fist in the air in celebration.
“But…”
“Ah shit, don’t give me a but. Let me have my moment.”
“But only if we go to a diner or something and we take Beef for a long walk on the way. I hate to be the responsible one but we’re gonna end up as round as him if we keep lazing around and eating takeout.”
“Fine. I’ll take that deal. Only for Beef though." She leans down to pet Beef who has settled in his dog bed, having been disturbed by her earlier celebrations, cooing to him and muttering while rubbing his belly.
Later as they meander through Torrance with Beef tugging at the lead, Rob decides to say the last thing that’s been on his mind from the past day.
“I’m really proud of you Court. So fucking proud.”
She’s crouched on the ground wrestling a stick out of Beefs mouth as he says it and he sees her still slightly. Even after all these months she’s still a little averse to compliments, especially when they’re a hard or emotional truth.
“You handled everything so well, with such understanding. Fuck, I think you handled shit better than I coulda done at times.”
“Careful, I can hear you tooting your own horn there.” She cautions but she’s smiling at him.
“Hey, I’m allowed an ego, I helped oversee the reform and redemption of such criminal masterminds as Batboner and The Spandex Human Torch.” It gets a chuckle out of her. “Seriously though. I know you don’t always like hearing this shit but I needed to say it. You’ve come so far since nearly knocking me out in the break room.”
She just looks at him with this dazed smile. It’s a little confusing at first until she gently pats Beef on the head, stands up, and closes the gap between them before placing a bruising kiss on his lips. It never gets old the way she does this when words fail her.
“Thank you. I mean it.” Earnest, sincere.
“Always Court.”
She wraps her left hand into his, grabbing Beefs lead out his other hand and holding it in her right. Mumbling something about ‘my turn with our son’, and they walked off. The conversation quickly descended to lighter topics like Beef’s ongoing diet, Prism's upcoming concert, and just what food they’re going to get from wherever they end up.
In the dark streetlight of the park, all that can be seen is the two of them and their chubby little dog, her head resting slightly on his shoulder as they go.