Chapter Text
He hadn’t done this in a while.
Spoke finds himself on the bathroom floor, his wrists sore and blood pooling on the tiles; until his lunch starts spilling out, for what it feels like the tenth time. He deserved this— he thought, waiting for his eternal slumber that he was trying to achieve. It was the right thing to do. He wasn’t needed in this world, nor was he deserving to be in it. He could no longer admire the person in the purple and blue hoodie, holding him close during the times he didn’t want to feel anything; the times he didn’t want anyone close to him— but also the time’s he needed someone close. He could no longer feel how the person’s hair was as soft as clouds compared to his messy, disheveled, and matted one. He could no longer ruffle the person’s white snow hair, running his finger through their hair follicles.
An hour passed. Spoke was still in the bathroom, starting to drift unconscious from how much blood he lost. His blood came in clots, lots of it already drying and spreading through the air, whilst more and more blood was leaving his body, emptying out— leaving this disgusting, metallic scent that could make anyone nauseous. He had left a chest nearby with all of his gear, hearts, wealth, and everything in his ender chest. He was on one heart, his final attempt.
Until Spoke barely heard it— a knock on the door.
A voice was followed by the knock, he couldn’t make out who it was, but he sensed worry. Why would anyone want to bother him now? Can it be later? If later ever comes, that is. Then that would probably be never. The voice outside the door was panicked, knocking over and over and over again. The knocking only grew more frantic, with the other person out trying the door, with of no use as it was locked. He was only so close to freedom, what could they want now?
“…Spoke? Spoke, are you in there?”
The person called out was Planet— with only the door separating them from what disaster was going on inside the bathroom. Spoke opened his mouth to answer, but what came out was only pathetic, slurred mumbling that Planet could only barely hear. He was too weak to call out, his voice strained & rough from screaming and crying and yelling. He was so much as a burden to others— relying on them too much, relying sometimes too little. Too much of a coward to call out for help, too much of a narcissist to only care about himself.
“-oke! Spoke! are you in there? I’m coming in if you don’t answer.”
Planet called out once again, their voice uneasy and filled with worry. They spoke in a tight throat, the strain obvious in every letter they somehow managed to get out of their mouth, forming words so easily. Spoke was never good with communication. Spoke was good at planning, manipulation, trickery, and lying on the floor bleeding out. He was fast at critical thinking, but his guilt will always race faster than he can think. However— Spoke wasn’t focusing on that at the moment, he couldn’t possibly.
The pain in his wrists was so unbearable and it made him sick to the core even thinking about it; his eyes fixed on the same white bathroom tiles— the one he used to stare down at when he was stressed, locking himself in there for hours. The same tiles now stained a dark, deep crimson red. Planet kept calling his name, however, it was deemed useless; as their yelling was drowned out with Spoke’s thoughts overcoming him; his crimes were sure catching up to him. He had expected it. His ears rung with that loud, ear-piercing shriek. Is this real? Who decides what is good and what is not? God, probably.
Does God exist? Who, where, and what is God?
The next second— the door was kicked open, revealing PlanetLord, who’s eyes widened as soon as they processed the sight before them. They gagged at the smell, foul and revolting. Despite everything, Planet walked in, trying their best to ignore the smell that filled the room. They pulled out their communicator, no one else was online. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Planet needs to call someone, anyone. Planet’s hand shook as they hovered their finger over a name, Spoke wouldn’t mind, right?
Right..?
PlanetLord whispers to ParrotX2: Parrot
PlanetLord whispers to ParrotX2: Can I come over
PlanetLord whispers to ParrotX2: Like right now? Please, it’s urgent.
ParrotX2 whispers to PlanetLord: Bro
ParrotX2 whispers to PlanetLord: I’m not falling for your trap
PlanetLord whispers to ParrotX2: Parrot, please.
PlanetLord whispers to ParrotX2: Spoke might get banned
PlanetLord whispers to ParrotX2: He’s on one heart
A pause— Planet’s heart was pounding. Parrot was really the only one online, so it’s not like Planet had a choice.
ParrotX2 whispers to PlanetLord: Just this once.
Planet sighed at the message, their hands still shaking as they delicately slid their arms under Spoke, being oh so meticulous with how they moved and positioned their hands, being hyper-aware of every micro-movement they made. Spoke was light— it surprised them, but they had to admit, they were expecting it. Spoke ate, but not a lot. The days where he would eat properly were the days where Planet force-fed him golden carrots and bread when they noticed, but they both knew that Spoke would spill it out his guts regardless.
Neither of them asked why— maybe they already knew the answer to that.