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No one had seen Spamton in nearly two days. Even after such a long time staying in Castle Town, making and keeping friends was somewhat difficult. Not for a lack of effort, but more often than not, he found himself falling into old unwanted habits and pushing them away. A small handful of Darkners still made the effort to help him though.
Maybe it was out of pity, maybe it was out of love, but he was frequently reminded that he wasn’t alone in his long road to recovery. Pink Addison Roman and blue Addison Samples, his brothers, were always intent on helping him get back on his feet. They opened their home to him, gave him a warm bed to sleep in, offered him food and shelter under the promise that he would help around the shop and keep up with chores.
And then there was Tenna. Since the beginning, Tenna practically begged Spamton to move in with him instead of staying with the Addisons. After ten years apart, he was desperate to make things as they used to be, but Spamton would always refuse. Staying in the Castle would be too overwhelming, he said, and he didn’t want to burden him with the mess that was his own fractured life. The more he was able to fix on his own the better. He didn’t want to rely on someone else to keep him in check.
But recovery was long. Someone’s best efforts to help could easily backfire no matter how good their intentions. Maybe it was Samples suggesting he get a phone so they could stay in touch while they were apart. Maybe it was Roman asking him to stop staring at a customer, that it made them uncomfortable. Maybe it was a customer commenting on his appearance, or maybe it was just one of his turns. Regardless, that recovery halted when Spamton walked into his room, shut the door, and didn’t come out.
“... How long has he been like this?” Tenna’s voice was soft, as quiet as he could muster as he crouched down next to Spamton’s bed.
He laid perfectly motionless, his knees clutched to his chest with his eyes fixed on the wall ahead of him.
“Maybe a day, a day and a half?” Roman responds in a whisper, his arms wrapped around himself in a comforting embrace.
“Why didn’t you come get me sooner?” Tenna asked, carefully brushing some hair out of his face.
“Well, he told us he wanted to be left alone. Even back in the day, he’d get in moods all the time but he’d usually come out of it in a couple hours… I’ll admit I probably should have checked on him earlier, but we didn’t… notice anything wrong,” Samples admitted with a sigh.
“He keeps telling us that he doesn’t want us worrying about him but I mean… How can we not be worried about this?” Roman added, stepping forward and snapping his fingers by Spamton’s eyes.
There was no response. His eyes didn’t shut, he didn’t flinch, it was like Spamton didn’t notice it at all.
“We’re sorry, Tenna. We should have called you sooner.”
“I just… Wish we had a better idea how to handle this. I’ve never seen him this bad before.”
Tenna pursed his lips, taking a gentle hold of Spamton’s shoulder and squeezing it softly in hopes to see any sort of reaction at all.
“It’s alright. Thank you for telling me now, I’ll handle it from here…” He said softly, managing to pull his lips into a smile in hopes to bring Spamton some comfort, “Hey, Spammy it’s me… are you feeling okay? Here, come on, I bet a nice relaxing bath sounds good, right? Get you nice and clean, refreshed, might help you feel better. Come on, let’s go.”
Tenna kept his voice soft and quiet to avoid accidentally overwhelming him. At the lack of response though, a silent breath forced its way out of his mouth as he carefully scooped Spamton up and held him close to his chest.
He was so small clutched in his arms like this. Still completely limp, his eyes absentmindedly staring ahead without actually registering anything he might have seen. The sight was heartbreaking for the TV… Staring down to him, he could practically see those horrors replaying in his mind. Every time he had been hurt, screwed over, pushed down, every time he had done it himself, willingly or not. Tenna never wanted to bring him harm, but that didn’t help that he did do it. The harm he brought couldn’t be forgotten, nor would he want it to be. Now was the time to move past it, though. Walking through Castle Town, Tenna kept Spamton close to his chest high above anyone else’s sight line. No one needed to see him, no one needed to know what was going on.
He didn’t slow or stop for anything until he reached his bedroom. The bathtub and shower in the connected washroom was still stocked with various shampoos and soaps in case Spamton did ever choose to stay over, but was otherwise unused considering Tenna didn’t bathe himself. TVs and water didn’t tend to mix, but for such a circumstance, he was willing to face the risks of electric shock if it meant helping him out.
“Here we are. Do you want the overhead lights on? Or how about just the night light? I know you like to shower in the dark,” Tenna asked, though waiting for a response just brought more silence, “... How does just the night light sound? I’m sure it’ll be more relaxing, won’t it? Here, let me sit you down right here while I get the tub ready for you, okay?”
And so, Tenna lowered the toilet lid and carefully set Spamton down to sit on top of it. His initial fears that he would simply fall over the instant he removed his hands were proven unsubstantiated, a small sigh of relief forcing its way past his lips as he peeled off his gloves and rolled up his sleeves. A pair of long rubber gloves were pulled out from under the sink, which he hastily put on before turning the faucet on the bathtub to begin running the bath.
“There we go, we’ve got the bath running for you, it’ll be filled up in no time and then we can get started,” He said, running the water over his gloved hand to make sure it wouldn’t be too hot or too cold, “While we wait for that to fill up, let’s get those clothes off of you, right? Does that sound good? Maybe I could ask Mike to get them laundered. Come on, let’s get these old clothes off.”
But still there was no response. Spamton still didn’t make any attempt to move on his own. His eyes stayed fixed on the floor just in front of him while Tenna carefully unbuttoned his jacket and slipped it off of his shoulders. The very instant it left Spamton’s body though, he could see that slight shift in his expression. Just barely visible, his jaw faltering for a moment while his chest rose from a sharp inhale. Almost like he wanted to panic, wanted to react, but didn’t know how. Tenna knew just how sentimental this jacket was to him. Just a simple black Addison’s jacket whose velvet was worn bare, filled with holes and mended rips, monogrammed with initials that weren’t even his own. If Spamton didn’t care about it he simply wouldn’t wear it. If anything happened to this jacket, well… no one really knew what would happen, but he knew it wouldn’t be pleasant. He also knew that his other clothing didn’t hold that same power. He remembered Spamton mentioning that unlike the jacket, he only wore this pair of pants and this turtle neck because it’s all he had on him after his little dip in the public pool.
“... Or would you prefer to keep your jacket nearby? Yeah, let’s do that instead right? I’ll hang it right over here, you’ll be able to see it from the tub,” He said, hanging the jacket on a hook right near the door.
That alone did seem to bring back that sense of calm. No… Calm might not have been right. That return to numbness instead of subtle fear. So Tenna went back over to him, carefully lifting the turtleneck over his head and setting it aside, followed by the pants in quick succession. The buttonhole ripped open with another cut in its place, the zipper was missing teeth and the hem had been permanently stained brown from years of dirt.
And just like that, Spamton was laid completely bare in front of Tenna.
It was the first time since they were reunited. Despite the dim light in the room, nothing was left to his imagination. Tenna would never go as far to say as the sight was off putting. He knew with every fibre of his being that no matter what, all of this was still Spamton, but it was all such a drastic change. Gone were his soft downy feathers, replaced by hard, unnaturally white wood. A tightness formed in Tenna’s chest as his gaze fell on the slats and joints that separated his body into pieces. His torso, split in three pieces with that separation at his chest and waist, his arms and legs articulated by ball joints and small feet similar to flippers in their lack of toes. Every inch of it all though, especially near his wrists, neck, shoulders and legs were covered in deep scratches filled with dirt and grime from years of abuse.
Then his sights fell on Spamton’s hands. Delicate ball jointed fingers that held some similarity to the TV’s own digits, complete with oddly sharp nails that, unlike the TV, couldn’t be retracted. It didn’t take an expert to put two and two together and notice that the claw marks that littered his body were from his own hand.
Tenna felt himself shrink down slightly as the thought plagued his mind, letting his fingers trace over the marks absentmindedly with his sights fixed on Spamton’s hands. There still wasn’t any sort of response to the stimuli, with Tenna simply sighing as he scooped Spamton back up and carried him over to the bath tub. Tenna had no idea if there was any way for him to effectively fill in those gaps, nor did he have any idea if that’s something the salesman would have wanted, but at the very least he could clean out the accumulated grime to make them look a lot less prominent. After making sure that his gloves were pulled up as high as they could be and that the bath water was a comfortable temperature, Tenna carefully lowered Spamton into the tub.
“There we go, how does that feel? Does it feel good?” Tenna asked, smiling down to him once more.
Spamton didn’t respond though. His eyes stayed fixed on the water, slowly blinking one eye at a time while he sat still in the water. What could he be thinking? Was he thinking at all? He didn’t seem overtly overwhelmed or stressed at least, so Tenna thought he must be doing something right. So he continued, plunging a gloved hand into the water and pulling it back up to carefully pour water over his arms.
“You know, Spamton,” Tenna began, listening to the drops of water fall back into the tub, “you truly are always welcome to stay here with me. I promise you aren't a burden. You'd never be a hassle or a pain. Back then, I wish I told you how much you meant to me more often…”
He smiled, letting his head fall to the side a little bit, gently tilting Spamton's head back and pouring handfuls of water into his scalp. The water rolled off without much of it absorbing, mostly getting deflected by the mess of tangled artificial hair so he tried once more. The warm water rolled down once more, a little bit more working it's way in between the individual strands.
“Back then… I remember how you used to joke that romantic confessions in movies were too sappy and fake, that you couldn't take them seriously or believe that anyone would think that way. Maybe that's why I didn't say it aloud as often as I should have, I just thought that you wouldn't really be interested in hearing it. It's… a stupid thought. I never wanted to embarrass you, of course… but I shouldn't have been afraid to be gushy when we were alone,” Tenna admitted, maintaining a softness to his tone as he poured a dollop of shampoo into his hand.
It smelled pleasant enough that he couldn't help but bring his hands to his nose to take in a deep breath of the aroma. It smelled like Spamton, but lacked that distinct something that gave his little mailman his own unique scent. All this time he's never been able to place it, he only knew it as ‘Spamton’. Even after ten years apart, even after getting stuck in this new body, living in the trash without a decent shower for however long, he could still smell it.
“... I know that's why you never said it very much to me, either. I know you loved me, and that's all that matters. I never needed a grand gesture or a beautiful speech. Feeling your arms around me would always be enough. Just seeing your smile, hearing you laugh…”
As Tenna worked the shampoo into a lather, gently massaging it into his scalp and working it through the large tangles until his stark black hair had been covered in a healthy layer of white suds. He let out another soft sigh, gently tilting Spamton’s head back before he resumed pouring water over his head. The sudsy shampoo slowly rolled down his back into the water and once it had all been thoroughly rinsed out, Tenna grabbed the bottle of conditioner and set another healthy dollop of cream into his hand.
“... Sometimes I do wonder how you would have reacted if I did make that grand confession, the one that I always dreamed of being able to make. Ever since I met you, I wanted to-” A small laugh forced its way out of his mouth, “I wanted to tell you that you made every day worthwhile. That you mean the world to me, that I love how genuine and unapologetic you were. How I didn’t have to pretend to be anyone, that you made me the best version of myself. That I hoped you felt the same way, how when I was with you, it didn’t matter how many cameras were looking at us, I felt as though we could just be ourselves.”
The conditioner was left in his hair to give it more time to properly absorb while Tenna grabbed a soft cloth, dampening it in the bath water and pouring some soap onto it. Spamton still didn’t speak though, his gaze still fixed on the water while Tenna carefully lifted up his arm and began to rub away the years of grime. The deep scratches that littered his arms were slowly cleared out, leaving the pure white wood underneath that despite Tenna’s best efforts couldn’t be filled in today. Could those be fixed at all? For now, he kept focusing his efforts on carefully scrubbing him clean. One arm at a time, the pleasant smelling soap working into the wood and between his joints to clear away the layer of browns and blacks and the subtle garbage smell that lingered despite Spamton’s efforts to rid it himself since he came to castle town. Once his arms were cleaned, Tenna smiled down at him once more, gently running his fingers through Spamton’s hair to see how it was processing before moving on to scrub his back.
“Do you think you would have taken it well? I was always afraid you would have laughed at me… I understand that’s silly now, especially considering you confessed first, but….” He shrugged his shoulders, dunking the washcloth back into the water before shifting his attention to his front, “Well, I can imagine it would have been too sappy and fake sounding, maybe you would have thought I was joking if I did say it all first…”
He sighed softly, pursing his lips before reaching fully into the water to take hold of his leg. And lift it as high as he comfortably could to scrub the grime away. Suddenly Tenna found himself laughing, shaking his head as he lowered his leg, pulling up the other to scrub it as well. He could feel his body shrink slightly, his antennas slumping down in front of his screen as he continued to stare down at Spamton’s small form.
“Oh look at me, getting all mushy about the past. Must be a day that ends in ‘Y’, right?” He admitted, stifling another laugh.
Then there was a subtle shift. Just as Tenna wrung out the wash cloth and set it aside to dry, he couldn’t help but notice Spamton had turned his head. The motion was slow, laced with hesitation and unease until his head had fully turned to look at the TV’s screen.
His expression was difficult to read. Tenna could tell that there was someone behind those eyes, his beautiful, smart, kind, tenacious little mailman, but he could tell he was stuck behind a wall. Trapped in this moment, in this body, too afraid to think or speak. Stuck simply staring at Tenna as if to say “I’m looking at you, what now?”
The TV felt his chest tighten, his shoulders pulling up to the sides of his head as he let out a shaky breath. Him being like this was his fault… he knew that now. None of this would have happened if he didn’t make him sign that damned contract.
“Oh Spammy….” Tenna muttered, his voice wavering as he reached forward to gently caress his cheek, “What did I do to you…”
He sniffed, trying his best to keep digital tears from falling from his screen by harshly jerking his head upward. It hurt to even look at him in that moment, to look at what he forced Spamton through. He didn’t deserve any of it, but now that it had happened Tenna knew he had to help pick up the pieces.
“Let’s…” Tenna took a deep breath to calm his nerves, looking back down to him once more and offering him a comforting smile, “Let’s wash this conditioner out and get you out of there. Are you hungry? Let’s have something to eat, okay? Something to eat will do you good.”
With that, he continued scooping water up in his hands and letting it wash away the conditioner soaking into his hair.
The water had gone tepid by the time Tenna pulled the drain stop, the pipes gurgling loudly as he carefully lifted Spamton back out and draped a fluffy towel around him to keep him warm. While Tenna would have loved to give him something comfortable to wear for the rest of the night, the only night gown Tenna had didn’t have any size changing properties and poor Spamton wouldn’t be able to move. But Ralsei was a lot closer to Spamton in size, and he knew the prince had plenty of robes to spare. Heck, he might even have a cozy night shirt he wouldn’t mind lending.
“... Hey Mike, could you send Prince Ralsei to my room please? And, could you ask him to bring over something comfortable for Spamton to sleep in?” Tenna asked quietly, one hand pressed to the side of his head while the other gently pat the towel against Spamton’s shell to help along the drying process.
His hair was still sopping wet, dripping onto his shoulders and the floor while Spamton held the towel tightly around himself. At some point he stopped looking at the TV, his eyes falling back over to the black velvet Addison’s jacket carefully draped on a hook nearby. This was something Tenna was quick to notice, taking a smaller towel and draping it over Spamton’s head before carefully rubbing the excess water from his hair.
“Do you want me to look into getting it cleaned?” Tenna asked softly, taking the same towel and using it to carefully wipe away the water that clung to his face, “I know how much it means to you, I can help get it taken care of when you’re feeling a little better. Does that sound good? We can get it fixed up really nice,” He suggested, letting out a silent sigh while he stared at the back of the jacket.
At some point it had been sliced perfectly in half and crudely mended together by hand with a thread that didn’t fade the same as the velvet jacket. Before he could make any comment on it though, his attention had been drawn to the sound of knocking on his door. That must have been Ralsei, he thought, good timing too, nice and prompt.
“Stay right here, I’ll be right back okay?” Tenna said softly, resting a hand on Spamton’s shoulder for a moment before going to meet Ralsei at the door.
Spamton barely moved an inch since he left, his gaze fixed on the floor while he stood in place. The towel was still tightly draped around his body, his hair a mess from Tenna’s attempts to dry it. He would comb it in place once he put the robe on, make it a little less silly looking.
“And I’m back, got a nice comfy robe for you from the prince, doesn’t it look cozy? Might be a little big, but that’ll just make it that much more comfortable right?”
There was still no response. He knew he couldn’t let it get to him though, letting the robe unfold while he held it up in front of him. Then he draped it over one arm, carefully taking hold of the towel Spamton draped around himself and setting it down on the ground. He looked much better now that the dirt had been cleared from the deep grooves of his scratches, and now that his hair had been cleaned and detangled it would be much easier to comb back. He looked much better already despite his expression remaining unchanged, still fixed on the floor with silent deep breaths. In this moment, if he were to look closely enough, Tenna knew he could see him how he was back then. The bright smile, the kind eyes, his hands that didn’t stop moving, he missed what Spamton no longer had, of course, but truth be told there were some things he liked about this body too.
“Alright Spammy, could you lift up your arms for me?” Tenna asked, sucking in a deep breath to help him refocus back on the current situation.
Tenna did help, taking careful hold of Spamton’s hands and lifting them up over his head. As soon as he let go, though, they stayed in place to allow him to pass the robe over Spamton’s head. The arms were threaded into the sleeves and the rest of the robe fell in place right after, allowing Spamton to lower his arms back down.
“There we go, isn’t that comfy?” Tenna asked, his screen turning slightly pink and setting a hand against his cheek momentarily before going to grab a comb to tame his hair.
The worst of the tangles had been taken care of in the bath, allowing the comb to pass through his hair effortlessly.
“What are you feeling like eating? I’ve got a few TV dinners, your favourite, Salisbury steak with butterscotch pie. Does that sound good?” He asked with a smile, taking hold of his hand and walking out of the bathroom to the couch in the main room.
A fold out tray was set down in front of Spamton once he was comfortable. Since they were both in the same room, the TV felt a bit more comfortable leaving him more alone so he could heat up their meals. Warmed up with a quick blitz in the microwave, the cellophane cover was removed and transferred over to a plate to make them a little easier to eat. Staring at the plates though, then back over to Spamton, he pursed his lips softly and cut up the steak into small bite size pieces for the salesman.
“... Mike kept telling me I should rework the formula for these, make them more cost effective, but honestly I’m too fond of the recipe how it is to worry about the price. We struck gold with this, and I’d never dream of mucking up Toriel’s pie with cheap ingredients or filler… Should taste exactly how it did back then,” He said softly, setting the plate of cut up food down on the tray in front of Spamton.
There was no response though. He had already been looking down to the tray when Tenna set the plate down, but there was no change in expression or shift in weight to show that he had any interest in the food. He didn’t grab the fork, he didn’t shift the plate, his hands stayed fixed on his lap while he stared at the food.
“... do you want me to help?” Tenna asked, but there was still no response.
But there would be no harm in offering Spamton a little bit further assistance. He deserved that kindness, that help, and he didn’t mind offering it at all. So Tenna set his own plate aside and picked the fork up. A piece of the steak was pierced alongside a small lump of mashed potatoes.
Steam slowly rolled off of the food. It wouldn’t be too hot for him to eat, he made sure of that, and once he knew the food was stable, he lifted it up and brought the fork to Spamton’s mouth.
“There we go, Spamton, open up,” he said softly, feeling his chest rise excitedly when Spamton opened his mouth.
His gaze didn’t change at all, his eyes still fixed on the plate of food while his jaw shut around the fork.
“Yes, yes that’s right, Spammy. It’s good, isn’t it? Do you want some more?” Tenna asked, pulling the fork back and offering another bite, “There we go, have a little bit more.”
Another bite, then another, and another. Tenna would occasionally wipe away bits of food with a soft handkerchief or take a moment to eat some of his own food.
“... It hasn’t changed at all, has it? I really like the potatoes myself… Kris used to love making a little gravy volcano whenever Toriel made them. I wish I could have made one too but this doesn’t come with enough gravy. Do you want more? Do you think you’d be able to handle it yourself? Here, there we go, just take one bite, okay?”
Tenna smiled down at him, loading the fork with a bite of steak and setting the handle down facing the salesman. Spamton’s eyes fixed downward, his chest rising slightly and jaw clenching just a little as he slowly reached for the fork. Tenna felt his entire body tense in anticipation at the sight, his breath caught in his throat while his small, ball jointed fingers wrapped around the handle.
“Yes, that’s right! You’ve got it, you can do it,” Tenna said gently, his head nodding quickly while Spamton brought the fork up to his mouth.
He took a single, slow, hesitant bite, his teeth closing around the fork and pulling it out to chew and swallow the piece of steak that had been prepared for him. Finally his expression changed, his eyes narrowed in a mix of anxiety and relief at the sound of Tenna’s praise.
“Good job, Spammy,” he says softly, caressing his cheek, “Do you think you can take one more? Go ahead, you can do it, just take one more bite…”
Spamton looked up to him for a moment, then back down to the plate. Just one more bite. He could handle just one more--
His breath hitched, his grip on the fork tightening while his other hand began to clench into a tight fist. What was he supposed to eat? Tenna wanted him to eat, just take one more bite, but what exactly did he want him to have? The steak? The potatoes or greens? What about the pie? What if he took the wrong thing? Should he ask what he should eat? His mouth opened ever so slightly, his eyes beginning to dart back and forth between the fork and the food, but no words escaped his mouth. Tenna was quick to notice the rising panic, pressing a hand against his cheek to turn his attention back to his screen.
“Hey, hey, it's okay! It's okay, deep breaths, it's okay… take a deep breath, right? Breathe in….” He took a deep breath to encourage Spamton to do the same, nodding slowly when he saw his chest rise.
His eyes were wide open, his entire body still trembling from the moment of panic he felt before his attention was pulled away from the food.
“That's good… and breathe out….” Tenna added, letting his chest fall and waiting for him to do the same, “it's okay if you aren't ready. We’ll take this at your pace. Do you want to continue? You can just nod or shake your head.”
But he simply stared, his gaze fixed on the screen while he continued to take deep breaths. He didn't want to risk disappointing Tenna by making the wrong choice, nor did he really know what he wanted to do. So he just watched him, hoping to receive any sort of prompt or hint to find out what his partner might have wanted to do instead. At the lack of response, Tenna simply nodded once more and looked down to the plate.
“Alright, how do you feel about skipping straight to dessert? We can have the pie then go lay down and rest. Does that sound good?” He suggested, caressing his cheek with his thumb.
That sounded like an acceptable solution. The pie was always his favourite part after all, and since he hadn't been able to sleep in over two days he was feeling pretty tired. So slowly, hesitantly, Spamton nodded his head and turned his attention back down to the food. He watched as Tenna took hold of the fork, feeling his chest tighten once more.
No. He could do this on his own. It was just a little slice of pie, he could do it himself. There wasn’t any mystery or choice to make, and Tenna made his desires perfectly clear. Just as the TV lowered the fork to slice off a bite of pie, Spamton set his hand on top of his.
“Oh? Do you want to do it?” He asked, stopping in his tracks.
Once again, Spamton nodded. Slowly, hesitantly and wordlessly while he released the fork. Spamton was quick to pick it back up, gripping it tightly and stabbing the piece of pie that Tenna broke off. Every movement was laced with doubt, but eventually he did manage to bring the piece to his mouth. The salesman chewed once, twice, three times, trying his best to avoid making a mess before swallowing the cinnamony batter. It tasted exactly how he remembered all those years ago… Not only did the pie taste good, but the sense of relief and accomplishment that washed over him when he realized that he had successfully taken a bite was just as sweet.
“Good job, Spammy, I’m really proud of you,” Tenna said, gently rubbing his back. “Do you want to take another bite? Go on, you can do it.”
Alright, another bite… an easy task. Just take one more bite of pie. He took a deep breath, nodding slowly as he sliced off another piece and brought it up to his mouth. This is what Tenna wanted. This is what he wanted. It was good food that would give him comfort and make him feel better.
So he took another bite, letting Tenna’s wave of praise wash over him and prompt him to take another bite. Then another, and another until all that remained was the crust. He never liked the crust.
“Good job, Spamton. Good job, I’m so proud of you,” Tenna repeated, wiping some food from his cheek and planting a kiss on his forehead, “I’m so, so proud of you, Spammy. I’m going to clean up over here, do you want to head over to bed or help out a little?” He asked, kissing his head once more before getting up.
Spamton just followed him with his eyes, tangling his fingers together nervously. Going to bed did sound nice, but what if Tenna wanted him to stay and help? Would he be able to help? What could he do? Suddenly his eyes fell back down to the couch, his eyes narrowed in thought. Tenna wouldn’t wait for a response though, quick to notice the rising anxiety in his partner. Okay, too big of a question still.
“Do you want to get ready for bed? I’ll only be a minute, okay? I’m right behind you, just walk over to the bed and sit down.”
Hearing this new request, Spamton nodded slowly. Just go sit on the bed, that was easy enough, the bedroom was a little far away, but it was still an easy straight shot. He’d still be able to see him, too, everything would be okay. Feeling Tenna’s hand lift from his back, Spamton slid off of the couch and took a hesitant step.
Then another.
And another.
Each one got easier, his feet feeling lighter and his thoughts focusing on the sound of his own footsteps. The soft clatter of wood on wood slowly dissipated from the main area of Tenna’s room as he made his way into the offset bedroom, his fingers nervously tangled together against his chest as he approached the bed. While the actual bed was taller than he was, thankfully there was a small staircase at the foot of the frame specifically for him to climb up. Tenna must be coming over, Spamton thought, hearing the sink turn off and the sound of rubber gloves being pulled off. So he was quick to climb up the small staircase, turning around and sitting on the edge of the mattress as soon as he reached the top step. Now it was just time to wait.
Wait for Tenna to come in to say what they should do next. Thankfully there wouldn’t be much downtime before he did come, smiling down to him as he entered the room and slipped off his tie.
“There we go. Been a long enough day, I think we deserve a good long rest don’t you? Let me just get out of these clothes and I’ll be right over,” He said softly, shutting off the overhead light as he passed by the switch.
Without it on, the room was illuminated by a single night light plugged near the door, which combined with the glow of his own screen, provided enough light for Tenna to see where he was going without being so overwhelming that they couldn’t sleep.
“It’ll be so nice to lay down and just collapse, don’t you think?” He asked with a smile, but there was still no response.
He wasn’t expecting one anyway, he just wanted to help him feel normal until he was ready to face castle town once more. Eventually he walked to the bed, wearing a simple white and pyjama pants and immediately moving to lay down with his head on the pillow. This wasn’t something Spamton would need guidance to do. He always knew that no matter what, as soon as Tenna laid down and lifted up his arm, he could go and lay down on his chest. The TV settled down, draping the blankets over his legs and holding up an arm ready to accept Spamton. It was quick, wordless, Spamton eagerly curling up against Tenna’s chest with an ear pressed against the hard plastic exoskeleton. The sound of his inner mechanisms was always so soothing to him, always able to lull him to sleep in a matter of minutes.
Tenna reached over, draping his hand heavily over Spamton’s small form and gently running his thumb up and down his arm. His head whirred and whined in protest of his emotions, filling the air around him with the barely audible static hum the salesman admitted he loved the sound of all those years ago. The sound that reminded him of heaven and never failed to calm him down.
Should he just let himself fall asleep? Shouldn’t he say something? Just say something… His jaw fell open, a small silent gust of air forcing its way past his teeth s he tried to figure out what to do. What would Tenna want to hear? What could he say that wouldn’t upset him?
“.... I [Wouldn’t] have laughed at you, [Cathode]....” He managed to eep out, his fist closing around a wad of Tenna’s shirt.
Tenna felt his chest tighten. The wave of relief that washed over him when he heard Spamton speak was palpable, but he knew not to draw attention to it for fear of overwhelming him.
“Hmm?” Tenna mutters in response, continuing to gently stroke his arm with his thumb.
“... I wouldn’t have [Ha Ha, That’s Hilarious!] at you if you made a big mushy confession… [My Sincerest Apologies] that you have to deal with me like this…” he squeaked, pulling his knees just a little closer to his chest.
“Hey, don’t be sorry. Don’t be sorry, Spamton, it’s never a problem taking care of you… I love you. You’re never a burden to me.”
Spamton’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening. He wanted to believe him so terribly, but why would anyone want to take care of him? He knew he was a hassle, he knew he was annoying, why did Tenna insist on saying otherwise? It’s not like he had anything to offer these days, didn’t he know wasting his time and energy trying to fix someone who couldn’t even feed himself would only lead to stress?
“... But I’m not even the Spa[Spamton G. Spamton] you fell for… I’m just this… thing…. I’m… [Size Small] and I’m ugly and I’m [!@#$]ed up and I…” He took a deep breath, inhaling Tenna’s scent to try and calm himself down, “When I get like [This] I get so scared that I can’t make any [Your Choices Don’t Matter]... I lived like this for so long that [I don’t know] how to function otherwise…”
Tenna’s brow furrowed once more, shaking his head slowly.
“Oh Spammy… You are the same Spamton I fell for. Just because you look a little different doesn’t mean you changed beyond recognition. But even so, these changes aren’t all bad! I know that you don’t like this body, but honestly…. It really isn’t all bad,” He said softly, twirling a lock of his hair around his finger, “... I love how small you are, how easy you fit on my shoulder or my chest… I love the way your jaw clatters when you laugh, or how you spin your head around to creep out other darkners when they upset you,” He laughed lightly, sucking in a breath to stop tears from falling from his screen, “I love the sound you make when you walk, and… I know you hate it, but I adore the sound of your voice. I love the cadence and the tones, I love the way you just say whatever’s on your mind, I love the autofills and the censors, they really can be so endearing… I love how you call me Cathode and Boob Tube and Trash Heap, honestly I don’t even care that you can’t say my name, you always say those nicknames with such kindness in your heart...”
Spamton felt his chest tighten once more, rubbing his nose as he pushed himself into a seated position to look at Tenna’s screen. He had fallen completely silent yet again, his chest rising and falling slowly as he stared at the comforting white glow. Was that really how he felt? Why was he being so kind…?
“I do love you… I love you so much it hurts, and never in a million years would I have ever dreamed of making you sign that contract if I knew it would lead to this… but it happened, and this is where we are now. I promise that no matter what, I’ll help you in every way I can. You were never a burden, Spammy…. You can never be a burden to me. You’re brave and strong and resilient, and I wish I could have been there to help you all those years ago. I would have, you know… I would have done anything for you. Everything, even. And I’ll still do it all in a heartbeat. In a thousand lifetimes, no matter what would pull us apart, I’ll still always choose you. I love you, I don’t care that you look different. I don’t hate you for what happened, and I can’t fault you for what you went through. Despite everything, you’re still you, and I love that about you. You’re still my spammy little mailman and I wouldn’t change that for the world.”
Spamton sniffed, rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his soft blue robe. He didn’t think he was deserving of such kind words, but he knew Tenna would never just say these things. This was his big gushy confession, after all, and he certainly wouldn’t change that for the world either. The salesman sniffed once more, harshly rubbing his eyes with a hand gently set against the screen. His fingers crackled with static, his jaw clattering when he felt Tenna’s hand resting against his back. He moved away from his grasp to shuffle just a little closer to his head and set his second hand on the screen.
“... I really love you, [Cathode]... thank you for [Putting Up] with me.”
“I’m not putting up with you, Spammy. Every moment I spend with you is a delight. I love you, I love spending time with you, even if you’re overwhelmed or you’ve taken one of your turns,” He responds with a kind smile, caressing his cheek.
Spamton nodded quietly in response, pulling himself forward and pressing his teeth against Tenna’s lips. They crackled with static, Tenna’s hand wandering from his cheek to his back to offer some additional support.
With words like these and such kind actions throughout the day, Spamton found himself reconsidering his hesitation about moving in.