Archive of Our Own

<MantaMan> good evening all

<neo-n> good evening bitches and bastards

<calaMARIE> What’d you three muck up?

<MantaMan> i didn’t imply that

<calaMARIE> None of you send that kind of message unless someone cornered themself in a heap of trouble

<CALLIEmari> stop jumping to conclusions

<CALLIEmari> why do you only see the worst in people

<MantaMan> she’s not wrong

<calaMARIE> See?

<calaMARIE> I’ll pull up their location

<fishfrye> heyyyy so

<fishfrye> we may or may not need some help rn

<CALLIEmari> ofc what’s up

<calaMARIE> WHY ARE YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN

<Homojiro> About that.

<neo-n> yas queens slay

<MantaMan> what about me?

<neo-n> u r a queen too

<MantaMan> :D

<CALLIEmari> so can someone explain what exactly happened

<Homojiro> Put simply, shit happened.

<fishfrye> helicopter crashed

<calaMARIE> Skill issue

<fishfrye> there was a really bad storm

<calaMARIE> So? Sounds like a skill issue

<fishfrye> the pilot is in this chat what does it take for you to be nice

<calaMARIE> @MechEve Skill issue

<MechEve> Thanks, I hate you already.

<neo-n> OMG new person!!!

<neo-n> thats so skibidi

<MechEve> What?

<neo-n> aw man theyre not my age :(

<MechEve> What the actual fuck?

<CALLIEmari> reel in the brainrot, neon

<neo-n> no. dab on them haters.

<Homojiro> Excuse me. That is my generation’s idiocy. This is generational appropriation.

<neo-n> cry about it

<neo-n> im sorry that was mean

<neo-n> my goal in life is to not be marie and being mean takes away from that goal

<calaMARIE> I’m not mean

<Homojiro> Keep telling yourself that

<MechEve> Someone fucking end my suffering.

<Homojiro> Nope, if we all have to deal with the Boss, then so do you.

<neo-n> maries not the boss

<neo-n> oh should we like call the captain to help

<fishfrye> NOBODY CALLS THE CAPTAIN

<fishfrye> WE HAVE NOT REACHED THAT POINT OF DESPERATION

<MechaEve> Are they a massive douche too?

<MantaMan> worse

<MantaMan> they don’t say anything

<MantaMan> they’re scary

<neo-n> wdym they booyahed me once

<calaMARIE> What a special little squid you are

<neo-n> yayea thats me

<neo-n> im the specialest squid

<MechEve> So are any of you idiots capable of helping or not?

<CALLIEmari> sure thing

<CALLIEmari> what do you want

<MechEve> Can you just drop a nuke on our location?

<fishfrye> WHAT

<calaMARIE> I like the way you’re thinking

<Homojiro> NO DON’T DO THAT

<MechEve> Or, I dunno, send a boat or something?

<MantaMan> yeah or do that!!!

<calaMARIE> To pick you up or run you over?

<MechEve> I don’t care.

<MechEve> Whichever will get me out of this hell faster.

<fishfrye> stay positive

<fishfrye> this is just a surprise vacation

<MechEve> This is the 9th circle of hell.

<Homojiro> But there’s fishing.

<MechEve> I thought you all wanted off these islands too?

<CALLIEmari> oh so you’re on an island

<MechEve> Did you think we were just floating out on the water in the middle of nowhere?

<CALLIEmari> kinda

<calaMARIE> In that case you can get yourselves home on your own

<calaMARIE> Or make it into a perma-vacation

<Homojiro> WHAT

<Homojiro> DON’T LEAVE US BOSS

<calaMARIE> Just call your sharks and ride off into the sunset

<calaMARIE> Or the eels

<calaMARIE> Or turn Big Man into a raft

<calaMARIE> I bet he has a decent amount of buoyancy

<fishfrye> hmmm

<MantaMan> NO

<MechEve> Physics wouldn’t support that, anyway.

<MantaMan> phew

<fishfrye> we can’t drown big man regardless

<fishfrye> he is our emergency food supply

<MantaMan> WHAT

<Homojiro> No, no, no. Team Gear won that one.

<fishfrye> but the GRUB

<MantaMan> fun!

<MechEve> I am not having fun in any way, shape, or form at the moment.

<MechEve> Do you think I could superjump all the way back to the mainland?

<calaMARIE> Sure

<neo-n> believe in urself! !!

<MechEve> Well, I’m not doing anything Marie agrees with.

<calaMARIE> Why not

<MechEve> I have principles.

<MechEve> And one of them is that I hate you.

<calaMARIE> At least you stand by them

<neo-n> unlike old man grampa

<MechEve> What?

<CALLIEmari> what

<neo-n> wat

<CALLIEmari> oKAY

<CALLIEmari> moving on…

<CALLIEmari> do you think we could get pearl to send her private pilot out there to get them

<calaMARIE> Like a bribe?

<Homojiro> I assumed she meant as a favor, but bribery works too.

<MechEve> OH HELL NO

<MechEve> I went to flight school with them.

<MechEve> Another one of my principles is that I hate them.

<fishfrye> is there anyone that you don’t hate?

<MechEve> Sheldon.

<neo-n> ew

<Homojiro> Big Man, you’re off the hook.

<Homojiro> We have a new emergency food supply.

<MechEve> Fight me.

<MechEve> I dare you.

<MechEve> Do you know how it feels to get hit in the head with a wrench?

<MechEve> Because you’re about to find out.

<fishfrye> who hired this bitch

<MantaMan> i did!

<Homojiro> Not a W, Big Man. Not a W.

<MantaMan> 20/20 hindsight ok?

<Homojiro> Eh, can’t stay mad at you anyway.

<MantaMan> let’s just all take a deep breath and relax

<neo-n> how about we steal a grizzco copter

<calaMARIE> Who’s going to fly it? You?

<neo-n> yeaya

<MechEve> If you’re going to go through the trouble of rescuing us, please do it in a fashion that will not result in everyone fucking dying.

<neo-n> :(

<neo-n> i have my pilot license

<CALLIEmari> SINCE WHEN

<neo-n> i had fun on the rocket so i decided to get it after

<Homojiro> You.

<fishfrye> had fun.

<MantaMan> on the rocket????

<neo-n> yeppers!

<CALLIEmari> we could also just pretend to go do a salmon run shift and then hijack one

<neo-n> oh i love domestic terrorism

<neo-n> lets go with that idea

<fishfrye> that is such a bad idea for so many reasons

<neo-n> how many

<MechEve> At least five.

<calaMARIE> I say we let the kid fly the helicopter

<calaMARIE> What’s the worst that could happen?

<MechEve> Fine. Whatever. But as soon as it touches down here, I am flying it back.

<Homojiro> I second that.

<neo-n> kewl beans

<neo-n> well have to leave 1 of u behind tho bc theres only 4 seats in the back

<fishfrye> the math is not mathing

<neo-n> lil buddy needs a seat obvs

<neo-n> i need him to help me nav

<neo-n> he be my copilot

<MechEve> How about we leave you on the island?

<Homojiro> I agree with Eve.

<neo-n> yayaya i need a vacay

<neo-n> sure

<MechEve> That’s settled them.

<fishfrye> we will anxiously await rescue!

<CALLIEmari> how will neo get home then?

<neo-n> ill ask boris for a ride

<neo-n> once im done vacationing ofc

<MechEve> Who is Boris?

<calaMARIE> Trust me when I say that’s a question you don’t want an answer to that

<MechEve> Whatever. Hurry the fuck up. I’m going to go insane.

<neo-n> boris…