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The night before his 18th birthday, Butters turned up at Kenny's apartment in tears. Kenny let him in — he always did — and sat him down on the loveseat next to twelve-year old Karen.
(Kenny had worked his ass off in middle school, high school and during the summers to save up to move himself and Karen out of their parents' house. Their parents could not have cared any less, and just simply signed off on Kenny becoming Karen's primary caretaker. Two less mouths, Kenny had said wryly after the paperwork was signed. Both of them were clearly doing better, no longer on the edge of starving, and well rested. Karen was doing much better in her classes, and even Kenny was making better grades, and able to work a little less. One night, Kenny and Butters had laid out on Kenny's new balcony, passing a pilfered joint back and forth and talking about their dreams. Kenny had told him he wanted to be a paramedic, to help others and make them feel safe, like they had a chance. Butters thought that was truly admirable, and told Kenny as much. When asked what he wanted, he shrugged.
“I want to be happy,” he said.
“I want to make you happy,” Kenny had whispered back, one of his expressions that Butters couldn’t read on his face.
“You do,” Butters answered, full of love and adoration for the boy he knew he would never get to have. Kenny shook his head, and moved the conversation on).
Karen was doing her homework when Butters was sat next to her, and she leaned over to press her shoulder into his. Kenny dropped a blanket over him, and handed him Mimi, his stuffed rabbit Kenny had gotten him last year for Valentine's Day. Kenny had been so sweet, with Mimi and a little box of chocolates in his hands. He started and stopped a few times before shoving the items at a pleased, patiently waiting Butters and blurted out, face bright red, "A bunny for my Bunny."
(Butters couldn't remember a time he'd been happier, beaming and floating the rest of the day, Mimi never leaving his side. Mimi lived at Kenny's house part-time, because Butters slept over so often. The bunny was Butters', and Kenny took that very seriously. Stan had picked her up once during a hangout, and Butters had never seen Kenny move quite so fast when he shot up to gently take her from Stan before handing her over to Butters).
Butters now hugged Mimi to his chest, using the warmth from Karen's shoulder to ground himself. Kenny's hand landed on the back of his neck, thumb stroking over his skin.
"What happened?" Kenny asked softly.
Butters shook his head, wiping his tears and snot away with his hoodie sleeve. "It's... It's stupid," he sniffled. "I'm just so worried about the soulmate thing. What if I don't get my words? What if my soulmate hates me? What if I get someone I don't know? What happens if you're in love with someone else? What—"
"Bunny. Breathe." Kenny said, squeezing his neck gently. "Your soulmate is someone you fit with. You will find them."
"Logically speaking," Karen said in that blasé, "duh" tone that pre-teen girls were experts at, "I would imagine the only person you could fall in love with would be your soulmate. You probably just get crushes otherwise."
Kenny made a face like he agreed, nodding. Butters sighed, but his tears were dry and his shoulders relaxed. "That does make sense," he said slowly, then over Karen's little "I know" he said, "Sometimes I'm not louder than my parents' voices. I'm almost convinced I'll be alone forever."
"Yeah, right," Karen scoffed. "You're gonna be happily married with a white picket fence by the time you're twenty."
Butters nudged her gently. "Well, don't jinx it." He was feeling better already, less panicked and more relaxed. Kenny's hand was warm and familiar, if a little rough on his skin, and he couldn't help but lean into it, looking up at Kenny behind him. Kenny had one of those expressions on that Butters couldn't quite read. Something soft, but he couldn't put his finger on the exact emotion. He smiled up at Kenny, and got a wink and a faint smirk in response. Thank you, he mouthed, and Kenny ruffled his hair.
"You staying for dinner?" Kenny asked. Butters nodded, and that was that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later, after they'd eaten, Butters quietly asked if he could stay the night while Karen was in the shower. Kenny gave him a weird look, then shrugged. "Whatever you want, birthday boy. I am but a slave to your every whim."
Butters laughed, shoving his shoulder gently where they were pressed together shoulder to toes. “Oh, please. You—” he was going to say “you tell me no all the time,” but he realized he couldn’t recall the last time Kenny had actually told him no. “You don’t tell me no very often, Ken.”
“I try not to. You deserve to hear yes,” Kenny said, wrapping his arm around Butters’ shoulders. “You deserve a lot of things. Your soulmate is going to be so lucky, Bunny.”
Butters just smiled, leaning his head against Kenny’s shoulder. “You’re a pushover.”
“Not really.” Kenny said, but let Butters get comfortable.
Butters quickly fell asleep, comfortable, full, and relaxed, the familiar scent of Kenny’s body wash and laundry detergent surrounding him. He never slept better than he did when he was next to Kenny. It had always been a thing, him and Kenny ending up tangled in each other’s sleeping bags when the boys had sleepovers, or glued at the hip during video games and movies. Butters always had lovely, floaty, happy dreams when he slept next to Kenny, or his nightmares were cut off by Kenny waking him up.
(“You’re going to be the world’s best paramedic,” he told Kenny once, drunk as shit and being carried like a princess. “You’re sooo good at taking care of people. And you’re strong, and hot, and you always make me feel so safe.”
“Yes, Bunny, I know.” Kenny said softly, eyes focused on the sidewalk ahead).
He woke up from a light sleep when Kenny shook his shoulder. “It’s 11:59pm, Bunny,” Kenny whispered. “You wanna watch for your words?”
Butters nodded sleepily, holding out his hand for Kenny to pull him upright. “Yeah. I don’t want to be by myself.”
“I know,” Kenny said, still whispering since Karen was in bed. “Come on, let’s get a cookie.”
Butters smiled up at him; his face probably so lovesick and pathetic it was embarrassing. “I hope he’s just like you, Ken,” he said quietly, fondly, a little sad. Kenny didn’t love him the same way. He was just a friend to Kenny.
Kenny sucked in a sharp breath, his hand twitching. “Oh, Bunny,” he said, almost choking it out. He flipped Butters’ left hand over to show him his own wrist. Oh, Bunny, his wrist said. Kenny put his wrist next to Butters’, showed him I hope he’s just like you, Ken, scrawled on his left wrist.
Butters sat up, his heart pounding, and eyes burning as tears pooled in his eyes. No. Fucking. Way. “Ken,” he breathed, reaching to fist his hand in Kenny’s shirt. “Kenny.”
“I know, baby,” Kenny said, grinning at him, eyes shining. “I know. I’m so relieved. I knew it was you, I knew it.”
Butters started sobbing, collapsing into Kenny’s chest. Kenny held him tight, and close, manhandling them into a more comfortable position. Kenny let him cry, soothing him and pressing soft kisses to Butters’ hair that just made him cry more, because he finally understood. He finally understood what those expressions were, why Kenny was sweeter to him than anyone else, why Butters got to come over whenever he wanted and everyone else had to ask. “You love me,” he sobbed.
“I love you,” Kenny said, chuckling. “Took you long enough.”
“I love you, Ken,” Butters wailed, and Kenny pressed a kiss to his temple. “I love you so much. I’m— I’m so happy.”
“Just how I like you,” Kenny said. “Would you… Would you want to—”
“Whatever you want,” Butters choked out. “Yes.”
“You wanna move in?” Kenny asked.
“Yes, absolutely. Please. Oh, but we need to ask Karen.”
“Like I give a shit,” Karen said from the hallway, making both of them jump.
“You’re being too loud. Congratulations to you both for figuring out what literally everyone else knows.”
“Karen, go to bed.” Kenny said, and got a middle finger for his trouble. Butters got up, and pulled him into the bedroom, curling up into his side of the bed.
Kenny laid down next to him, hands immediately back on him. “Please be here when I wake up,” he whispered.
“Of course,” Butters whispered back, smiling to himself.