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“That wasn’t meant to be-!”
But the damage was done, it seems, by the look of pure uncontained resentment Jax is throwing her way. In the back of her mind, Ragatha briefly wonders if she deserves such a look of wrath, considering all the worse shit he’s done, but at the same time…
She crossed a line.
Unintentionally! but still…
Her eye flickered down to Jax’s enclosed fist, which claws at the digital grass. She imagines he wishes her throat, not the fake green, was caught in his grip.
She needed to fix this.
Should she try to smooth things out?
Maybe let him take a few shots at her to make it even?
Pomni’s eyes flicker between her and Jax. Pomni’s mouth is slightly agape, as if about to speak, but stopping before any words are formed.
Ragatha knew she only had a few precious seconds to decide what would be best for this situation..
Judging from Jax’s murderous expression, it was not her or her apologies.
With a small inhale, she offered Jax one more apologetic look. Jax's eyes met hers. For a split second, she could see a flicker of understanding. Though his deadly expression stayed, the corner of his mouth twitched—signaling to the ragdoll that his anger was gone, but hurt remained. As much as she wanted to comfort him, Ragatha knew deep down what he needed was…
a friend.
Like Ribbit-
Like Pomni.
“Hey, Kinger!” Her peppy voice sounded foreign as she forced herself to look away from Jax.
Move.
Come on, you stupid doll, walk away.
Her feet dragged over the fake meadow; each step was heavier than the last.
She wanted to hug him.
She wanted to turn around and apologize again...
She wanted to tell him she missed-
“Did you see the fireflies over there?” Her arm lifted as if pulled by some invisible puppet string, pointing behind Kinger, much to his excitement. She could hear the vague voices of Jax and Pomni in the background and wondered what they were talking about.
Maybe they were talking about her.
“Turn back.” A voice in her head screamed at her.
No.
She can't.
They really are better off without her.
They don't need her.
Ragatha doesn’t like to reminisce on the times before Pomni showed up. It’s like trying to remember the happy times with your pet right after putting them down.
It feels useless and painful.
Subconsciously, she rubbed her wrist with her other hand, glancing around at the view before her. Kinger is busy with the bugs; Zooble and Gangle are too busy feeding each other sandwiches to notice her third-wheeling on this picnic blanket. Jax and Pomni…
She yanked on a loose thread on her arm, biting the inside of her cheek to not let out any noise of discomfort. She did not want to think about them.
Instead, she let her mind wander to the last time she was here…
In this meadow.
With the moon and fireflies.
Ah right…
The last time she was truly happy in this digital hell.
“Ragatha!”
Her eyes opened to see her amphibian friend blocking the view of the counterfeit stars. She let out a frustrated groan, swatting halfheartedly at Ribbit to shoo them away.
“Aggie come onnnnnn—” Ribbit pouted. She quickly grabbed Ragatha’s wrist mid-swat and tugged her upwards. Ragatha yelped as she was pulled into a sitting position, looking at Ribbit with a raised eyebrow. Ribbit, however, was busy giving her a toothy grin, hoping to charm away Ragatha’s annoyance.
“Ribbit.”
“Ragatha.”
“Why-”
Ribbit pushed a finger against Ragatha’s lips to stop her words. Keeping her cheeky grin, Ribbit then casually sat down next to the doll.
“We miss you down there,” they hummed, gesturing towards the group. Ragatha glanced over down the hill near the river, where the others were. Caine had decided today's adventure would be a dance party filled with the complete shagbang fairy lights, a wooden dance floor, tables, punch, food, a DJ, you name it…
All under the moon.
Honestly, it was a sweet, down-to-earth adventure. She'd danced her heart out with Ribbit and Kaufmo, the laughter and whirls of her dress still fresh in her mind…
… and her precious little Honey.
A small smile appeared as she recalled spinning the innocent girl in her arms through most of the night. Honey’s giggles always melted her heart. Kinger was still going strong on the dance floor with Kuafmo as Queenie watched with admiration, holding a sleeping Honey in her arms.
Ragatha had decided to take a break once Honey had dozed off...
Guess Ribbit decided the break is over.
“I’m sure you guys are doing fine.” Ragatha chuckled, instinctively pushing a curl behind her nonexistent ear. “Not like you guys need me or anything.”
Ribbit’s grin twitched at the statement, her head snapping over to face Ragatha's, lips thinning into a serious expression. For a moment, Ragatha felt unease ripple through her, subconsciously rubbing her arm as she tried to think of what to say to make Ribbit feel better. As she began to apologize, Ribbit spoke first.
“I need you.” Ribbit’s voice trembled with a sincerity so rare it made Ragatha’s heart ache with a burst of affection she could barely contain.
Ribbit paused, seemingly caught off guard by their own moment of vulnerability. In an attempt to save face, they gripped their arm and smoothed their cheeky smile back onto their face.
“Is that weird?”
Ragatha chuckled.
Gently leaning forward, she took their hand away from their arm, rubbing her thumb over their knuckles.
“I like weird.” She said softly.
Two arms wrapped around the doll, squeezing tightly as Ribbit buried her head in Ragatha’s shoulder. She returned the hug with glee (not bothering to mention that Ribbit only hugged her to hide the embarrassed look on their face).
“I love you too, you silly frog.”
“Then come join us again,” came Ribbit’s muffled response.
Ragatha paused.
She’d love to..
Like she really would, but…
Ribbit pulled back, glancing at her face. They looked briefly confused by Ragatha’s hesitation, but the ragdoll’s flustered blush quickly cleared their confusion.
"Ohhhhhh, you're waiting for her," they said dryly, looking exasperated as the doll’s face deepened to crimson.
"RIBBIT!" Ragatha yelled, shaking their shoulders. "IT’S NOT LIKE THAT, SHE’S MY FRIEND! I JUST—"
"Wanted to see if she’d take precious time off from being a d##k to come warm up your cotton," they finished, eyebrow raised.
Ragatha groaned, putting her face in her hands.
Ribbit sighed, taking pity on her friend. She gently patted the doll’s back. “I’m sure she’ll show up. Besides, Caine wouldn’t let his sister miss one of his adventures, you know?”
That is true.
After all, there's no way Caine would let her...
Would let Abel not witness some of his incredible worldbuilding, even if she didn't want to see it.
She glanced at Ribbit, noting the frog’s furrowed brows and overly wide grin. Ragatha knew Ribbit wasn’t fond of Abel…
No one was.
But Abel has improved so much! Maybe not in ways noticeable to the others, Ragatha mused, but she wasn’t being as aggressive anymore—more passive-aggressive, sure, but it was progress!
“I’ll be okay,” Ragatha said reassuringly, giving Ribbit a tight side hug, which the frog shunned away from, flustered. “I know how to handle Abel.”
“You say that but…Rags, she’s an AI.” Ribbit sighed, turning their head towards the doll as they reached a webbed hand up to comb through Ragatha’s curls. “Don’t forget how dangerous they can be.”
Logically, she knew Ribbit was speaking out of concern (valid concern if anything…given how… temperamental Abel is..), but at the same time, she could handle herself.
With one final squeeze, Ragatha pulled herself away from her frog friend, giving a reassuring smile. Although hesitant, Ribbit gave a grin before getting up and walking back down the hill to the others.
“I thought she’d never leave.” A delicately sweet yet robotic voice called into the empty space.
“You could have joined us,” Ragatha called out without turning her head around.
She already knew who was there—then, in a blink, Abel appeared before her.
Despite all this time, she still marveled at Abel’s beauty. The doll couldn’t stop her stuffed heart from fluttering.
Abel stood there, her beautiful porcelain Barbie doll features shiny and smooth in the light of the moon. A small black skirt around her waist and a button-up ruffled shirt. Her long, dark hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail, as if this doll were fresh from the box. Eyebrows drawn on in a way that made it look like she was questioning everyone, and a lazy smile on her face. Her eyes... God Ragatha loves her eyes... the most beautiful shade of violet she's seen.
Abel causally flopped over, letting her head land in Ragatha’s lap, ignoring the protests of the stuffed doll by pressing her palm against the lips of the other.“There, you’re perfect now,” Abel said sweetly, and Ragatha, if she were a stronger woman, would retort back how silencing her was very rude, but Abel was looking at her through her lashes, and suddenly shutting up didn't seem like a bad idea.
They settled into a soothing silence, Ragatha humming as Abel gazed up at her, wrapping a curl of red locks between her fingers.
She wished she could capture the ethereality of it all. Perfect moments like these made life in the circus almost…more desirable than the real world (it did help when Abel looked at her like she was the only thing that mattered), and the awe she felt for this woman—this AI—was so consuming it flooded her heart, leaving her afraid she might drown in it.
She could worship this woman.
With the small widening of Abel’s smile, she’s sure that's what the AI is attempting to do.
“What were you doing down there, anyway?” Abel asked absentmindedly, yanking a curl too hard, which made the cotton doll yelp.
Annoyed, she sent a glare down towards Abel, who just winked in response and, for good measure, pinched the ragdoll’s rosy cheeks.
“Dance party..” Ragatha muttered, swatting the hand away from her face. “Caine thought it’d be a good way to relieve stress.”
At the mention of her brother's name, Abel sat up with a scoff.
Ragatha never knew what her exact issue with Caine was. The one time she dared to ask, the response was “He’s naive, and I’m smart.”
She never pushed beyond that.
“Stupid idea of his.” Abel hummed, glancing down at the group. “Not like any of us can dance.”
“Aren’t you an all-knowing AI?” Ragatha joked, bumping Abel’s shoulder. Her smile faded as the usually rowdy marionette stayed expressionless.
An anxious feeling arose in her stomach as she scooted over closer to the doll.
“Do you…” She hesitated, then touched Abel’s shoulder. “Do you not know how to dance?”
The AI shrugged her hand off, scowling as she turned away.
“I am perfect.” The robotic response came. “I don’t need to engage in wasteful things such as dancing and whatever oddities you humans do.”
Ragatha suppressed a snort at the marionette-themed AI’s obvious wounded pride. Dusting off the nonexistent dirt on her skirt, Ragatha stood up, moving in front of Abel, hand outstretched.
“Come on.” Her tone was light, a blush on her cheeks. “Let me show you how to dance.”
Abel glanced up, argument flickering on her tongue. After a moment, curiosity won out. She sighed and took Ragatha’s hand. Ragatha’s brief smile faded as she felt lips brush against where her ear should be.
“Go on, babydoll.” The voice coaxed softly. “Teach me.”
For a moment, Ragatha’s mind blanked—a sharp inhale as the violet-eyed AI pulled back, smirking. Warmth spread from her neck to her cheeks. Despite trembling legs, she took Abel’s hand, putting it at her waist, ignoring the shiver that went down her spine. She tried to ignore the violet eyes following her every move. How they locked in on her specifically. The glow of them made it seem as if Abel were constantly amused by whatever Ragatha did. Which is very cute…
And unnerving.
Ragatha placed her free hand on Abel’s shoulder, taking their joint hands outward.
“Follow my lead,” she mumbled softly.
Abel chuckled.
Ragatha ignored the funny feeling it left her with.
Gently, she began to move back a few steps, dragging Abel to follow after her. They began a steady rhythm of three steps forward and three steps back. Sometimes Ragatha would break away to twirl Abel around when she didn’t expect it, causing the AI to fluster up and mumble something about staying to the pattern.
She liked it when she could catch Abel off guard.
She glances up to meet the eyes of her dance partner and is surprised to see them downcast, focusing hard on the footwork. Her brows are furrowed, and her smile is a small, thin line.
Ragatha can sympathize, she supposes.
Abel wasn’t used to not being a natural at something.
“You’re doing great,” Ragatha murmured. The marionette snapped her eyes back to meet the ragdoll's. For a moment, she wondered if she was wrong to suggest Abel wasn’t naturally gifted, until an arm tightened around her waist, pulling her closer.
Her grip tightened as she craned her head up, violet eyes meeting brown.
“You aren’t too bad yourself.” Came the whispered response that made Ragatha’s heart do a little somersault, even more so when she leaned in close enough for Ragatha to feel her breath on her lips.
“Do you trust me?”
You shouldn’t have.
“Of course I do.”
Ribbit warned you.
A small smile spread on the AI’s lips like the cat that got the cream as she pulled the ragdoll tighter against herself. Ragatha’s blush deepened; confusion flickered across her face before realization dawned as she felt it…
They were floating.
Higher.
Higher.
Higher.
Until all she could see was the luminescent glow of the stars and the pale beauty of the moon. There was a slight chill in the air, but she could barely feel it with the marionette’s body pressed so close against hers. The blues, violets, and small black blips in the sky seemed to work together in a melody, creating a colorful symphony of a backdrop.
In awe of her surroundings, she barely noticed Abel spin her in…
MIDAIR.
With a shriek, she launched herself back onto Abel’s body, chuckling as she wrapped her legs around her waist and her arms around her neck.
Abel looked on, amused.
Ragatha, flustered from her outburst, awkwardly scratched the back of her neck and let out a nervous laugh.
“Sorry.” She muttered, attempting to meet the ever-so-calm violet gaze.
The AI shuffled a bit to hold Ragatha more firmly as Abel briefly glanced at her lips before looking back into her eyes.
“Don’t be.” She said softly. “You taught me to dance…figured I owed you something too..”
“To teach me to fly?” Ragatha chuckled weakly.
“No,” Abel said calmly. “A break from worrying about everyone.”
A beat. Her heartbeat. It’s so fast against the confines of her chest.
“I’m not…I don’t need…” Ragatha began to speak.
“‘You did, you do.” Abel interrupted. “You know they don’t need you.”
Ragatha flinched at that feeling, and the quickness of her heartbeat stopped dead in its tracks.
“Ribbit said-”
“That frog will say anything to keep you wrapped around their finger.” Abel scowled. “I’m honest with you. They don’t need you…it’s okay to lay off.”
A silence formed between the two for a moment; neither knew what to say. Abel awkwardly averted her gaze. Ragatha’s thoughts blurred—everything felt too much. Maybe Abel is right... or is Ribbit? What is she doing? Why are the night’s dark colors and the stars’ brightness merging into this weird void?
Honestly, it’s pretty peaceful.
She was hurting you, you idiot.
Her head limped forward, landing on the cool shoulder of the robotic doll.
“Babydoll..” Abel’s voice sounded different in this state…almost angelic? “You know…I’m the only one who really appreciates how you love us.”
“Thanks for your concern, Abel.” The ragdoll muttered against her neck. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
At that, the AI chuckled.
Now that chuckle could haunt her dreams.
Ragatha felt whatever weird fog that came over her clear out of her brain, almost as if it’d been vacuumed from her head.
What was she thinking of again?
She felt a hand cup her cheek, guiding her head so she looked back at the violet-eyed doll before her (she would ignore the small shimmer of pink in those eyes).
“Youuuuu were thinking you were gonna dance with me some more.” Abel’s teasing tone, her thumb smoothing over the place she pinched earlier.
Yes…that sounds…right…
A smile grew on her stitched face before they swirled around in the night sky some more.
Looking back, she probably should have realized it was all too good to be true.
Abel loving her.
Abel being capable of loving her.
All of it a manifestation of her own lonely, easy-to-manipulate delusions.
She glanced over her shoulder at where Jax and Pomni were. They were talking, laughing, and smiling…
She felt her heart lurch.
Ragatha speculated at the beginning, when Pomni showed up, that maybe this was how Ribbit felt when Abel started paying attention to her.
A worrying feeling—a jealousy, a want to have her friend all to herself.
She and Jax were certainly no longer friends, but they had always had a special bond (in her opinion) before…everything.
When Jax first showed, Ragatha thought she’d have abstracted any day then... he made her smile.
A real smile.
The memories, the situation, the feeling…
This feeling.
OH SHIT.
Ragatha felt a metaphorical glass of water poured on her. She’d felt this before…with Abel.
She wasn’t worried for Pomni…or jealous of her special relationship with Jax, per se...
She just wanted Jax’s eyes on her. To catch him off guard. To be the one making him smile.
With a shaky exhale, she almost laughed at the bizarreness of it all.
She thought about how Abel and Jax were similar, except for one key difference.
Jax has never lied to her.
Cruel, yes, but a liar he is not.
Ragatha could vaguely hear Caine yell something to the Moon, but frankly, she couldn’t care less.
She needed to fix things with Jax… with Pomni… with everyone.
“INTERMISSION TIME!”
Before she’s sucked back to that horrible, colorful, almost peaceful void again.