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1
Darcy looked up from transcribing Jane’s notes. She rolled her neck, trying to ease the stiffness that had taken residence. She stretched her back, and glanced across the lab to see how the scientist was doing. Jane was hunched over a piece of scrap metal. Wait. Scratch that. Equipment. Darcy stood, shaking out her stiff legs. She had lost track of time, and now Jane was overdue for a Pop tart. She picked her iPod up off her desk and plugged in her headphones. She headed down the hall to the elevator as she flipped through her playlists.
Darcy reached the kitchen just in time to witness Clint pop a last bite of Pop tart into his mouth. She stopped in the doorway, and watched as he put the now empty box back in the cupboard. Before she could really stop to think about it, she was striding forward. She pushed past Clint, and flung open the cupboard door. She grasped the empty box, and hurled it at the back of Clint’s head, who was trying to make a hasty retreat. It only registered with her exactly what she had done after she heard the resounding thwack of it making contact. Darcy felt her eyes begin to bulge out of the sockets. Clint whirled to face her, but instead of being angry, he looked… sheepish. Darcy did her best to channel Coulson. It must have worked, because he seemed to stutter out an apology, and then quickly left. Turning to the cupboard that held the back up Pop tarts, Darcy muttered under her breath, “honestly, it’s like living with children.”
2
As the cameras powered down, and the stage lights turned off, Darcy swore that she would hit Tony with her clipboard if he made one more sex joke.
Pepper had requested that Darcy babysit Tony for the evening. He was lined up for five different interviews, and that was obviously too much responsibility for him to face on his own. Darcy hurried Tony out of the studio and into the waiting car. Four down, one to go. She tuned Tony out as he began to ramble- something about peach margaritas. It didn’t matter, as Happy was under very strict instructions not to deviate from the plan, and they pulled up outside the next studio exactly on schedule.
“One minute!” Someone called.
Darcy flipped through the papers attached to her clipboard one last time, and then raised her eyes to inspect Tony. She stepped forward, careful to remain hidden behind the side curtain, and straightened his tie. Tony smirked, and said “Not now, Lewis, but you’re more than welcome to join me after this interview for some extra curricular activities.” He said with an eyebrow raise. Tie straightened, he turned and stood right next to the edge of the curtain, ready to be called on stage.
Darcy took it as a sign.
She threw her clipboard, which hit him solidly on the back of the head.
Which is how Tony Stark ended up walking out on to the stage grimacing, and rubbing the back of his head.
3
Darcy tapped her slipper-covered foot, her arms folded across her chest, as she stood outside of the tower. While she appreciated that it was standard procedure that the tower be evacuated whenever there was a hulk incident, she did not appreciate having to stand on the sidewalk, covered in nothing more than her pajama shorts, and a tank top emblazed with I’m a ‘Bear’ in the mornings. And that wasn’t even the worst of it.
No. Still-Half-Asleep-Darcy had decided that the most important thing to do was to grab her stuffed rabbit, Cottontail, as she evacuated. So to sum it up, she was standing on the sidewalk, locked out of the Tower, at three o’clock in the morning in the skimpiest tank top and shorts she owned, holding on to a Goddamn stuffed animal. Not to mention that the only other people out here, besides the hoboes, were Jane and Pepper, each in their pajamas.
The doors suddenly opened, and Pepper headed for the entrance. Jane and Darcy followed her up to the common area. Everyone was gathered there, too wired to sleep. Darcy only paused long enough to stick her head in, locate the fluffy dark mop that was Bruce’s hair, and fling her rabbit at it. After all, he couldn’t hulk out again right away, right? Darcy didn’t even wait for it to make contact as she shuffled to her room. He would get a lot worse than a fluffy bunny if he made her get up at three o’clock in the morning again. She thought, as she drifted off to sleep.
4 & 5
When Darcy walked into the lab only to find Thor giving Jane some conscious, mutual mouth to mouth in the middle of the table, she closed her eyes tightly and backed out of the room. She only reopened them when she was fully out of the lab. She thought for a moment, and then slipped off her flats. She pushed the lab door open part way, and then flung the first shoe at Thor, and the second at Jane. Two resounding thuds later, and she let the door swing closed. Then, she skipped off to enjoy her day off. Because there was no way she was going to be able to look Jane in the eye for quite some time after bearing witness to that particular spectacle.
+1
“Oh my God! Aren’t you supposed to have super fast reflexes or something?” Darcy exclaimed as she raced over to the entrance of the lab, where Captain America was currently laid out, flat on his back. She had thought it would be funny to see him catch it, the stupidly heavy paperweight, that is, so, without even really thinking about it, she had lobbed it across the room, right at his head, just as he had been walking in. Except he hadn’t caught it, and Darcy’s aim had been getting a lot of practice since she had moved in to the Tower, and so it had hit him right in the middle of his forehead, and he had promptly fallen. Darcy crouched next to his prone form, her hands fluttering, not quite touching him, unsure what to do.
“Are you alright?” She asked.
Steve smiled up at her. He’d actually come down here to introduce himself, and possibly, if he could channel enough Bucky, ask her out on a date. “Uh, yeah, fine. You just startled me, is all.”
He began to sit up, and Darcy scrambled to help. He groaned as he made it to sitting position, and then moved his arm to rub the back of his head.
“What is it? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“I think I hit my head when I fell.”
“Oh. Are you bleeding?” Darcy was suddenly behind him, her fingers moving through his hair, finding the bump that was already decreasing in size.
“No, no blood, just a little bump.” Steve said, standing up, and then turning to help Darcy stand. “I’m so sorry! I just thought that you would catch it. I mean, everyone always talks about how the serum improved your reflexes and strength, and everything….” She trailed off, suddenly aware of the fact that she hadn’t even spoken to Captain America before this. His first impression of her was going to be that she randomly threw things at people all the time! Which she did. Except, not randomly. They deserved it, if she threw something.
“It’s hardly your fault. I would have caught it, except I was thinking, and…” She was startled abruptly from her thoughts as he held his hand out to her. “I’m Steve Rogers, by the way.”
“Oh. I’m Darcy. Darcy Lewis.”
“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Steve rushed through it. Bucky would have been slapping his palm to his forehead, but Steve was kind of proud of himself.
“I just gave you a concussion and you’re asking me out? You must be suffering brain damage.”
Steve snorted. “Nope, no brain damage.”
Darcy squinted at him, and put her hands on her hips. “How do you know? You don’t just automatically know if you have brain damage.”
“I know, because I was coming down here to ask you out before the hypothetical brain damage.” Steve said slowly.
“Oh.” Darcy smiled, and suddenly was looking at him a bit more intensely than before. “Oooooh.”
“Yeah.” Steve said, suddenly self-conscious under her scrutiny. “So, how about it then?”
“Hmmm?”
“A date.”
“Okay.” Darcy said with a smile. “And I’ll even promise not to throw anything.”