Work Text:
March 2017
Simon Templar was, once again, nervously sitting on a last-minute flight to California. It had been around six months ago that his brother, Tom Kazansky, had been taken ill and diagnosed with lung cancer and since then Tom had been enduring a gruelling course of chemotherapy whilst he convalesced under the care of his mother and his sister, Sarah, who both lived relatively close by in Los Angeles. Not that Simon had seen him in all that time.
He and his husband Ethan received calls from Tom often, but neither of them had actually seen him in person since those first few fateful days in the hospital given that the bigoted and stubborn Mrs Kazansky had since forbidden them entry to her house, and Tom had precious little energy to waste on resisting her.
Which was why it had come as such a surprise when Tom had called out of the blue one day with a summons.
“Sarah wants to meet you.” He had wheezed matter-of-factly down the phone line. “She takes me out down to the local park on a Thursday, if the weather isn’t too hot. Would you be willing to meet us there?”
And so, full of trepidation and yet spurred on by an anxious need to see his brother in person once again, Simon had agreed and had set off across the continent in order to make the meeting.
He arrived in the city a day early but immediately regretted it when that left him with a significant chunk of time to kill with precious little around to distract him from his nerves. What would Tom be like now? he wondered endlessly. Tom’s voice sounded awful on the phone and he tired easily, more than once falling asleep in the middle of a conversation, but his mind was still sharp, Simon knew, and for that he was grateful.
When the appointed Thursday came, Simon arrived at the park in good time before immediately regretting that decision too. How should he be when Tom and Sarah approached? He wasn’t sure why she was coming or even why she wanted to see him and so it was hard to cultivate a proper first impression of himself with what little knowledge he had to hand.
Simon considered the tables outside of the little ice cream kiosk in the centre of the park before dismissing it as too crowded for his taste. He then spent longer than he’d care to admit, moving from tree to tree, trying to lean against each one casually as though they would just stumble across him looking effortless. In his head it looked cool, but the reality felt anything but.
In the end Simon opted for a simple bench along a lesser frequented pathway and began watching the people, waiting for the two of them to appear.
Eventually he spotted them. Sarah was once again dressed modestly, especially so given the warm weather, in a skirt that came down to her knees and a blouse that was buttoned up to her throat. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail and Simon could tell, even from a distance, that her face was impeccably made up with just enough to be considered tasteful and not tacky by the sorts of people he knew her family were.
Tom, on the other hand, looked entirely different. He was smaller than he had once been, both as an effect of being sat hunched in a wheelchair, but also in that he had very clearly lost weight during the course of his treatment. Simon himself was not as slender as he had been in his younger days, something he attributed primarily to being properly happy for the first time in his life, which made the difference between him and his twin even more stark.
In the wheelchair Tom was ashen, grey and pale and he looked exhausted. A rug was draped across his knees, despite the heat, and his bony hands rested, unmoving, in his lap. He looked quite unlike himself and Simon found it terrifying.
Simon watched as Sarah spotted him, waved, and then bent down to say something into Tom’s ear as she changed course and steered him towards where Simon was sitting. Simon saw Tom’s eyes search and then his hand raised in a little wave of greeting. Simon waved back and Tom smiled.
Sarah parked the wheelchair perpendicular to the bench so that Simon and Tom were somewhat facing one another, and then plonked herself in between them. Tom reached out with both hands, and Simon met him in kind. They clasped at each other in something that was more akin to a hug than a handshake, although it was only their hands that were touching.
“Tom.” Simon tried to force himself to smile rather than focus on the paper thin quality to the skin of his brother’s hands.
“Simon.” Tom replied. His voice was rasping and hoarse and terrible. Simon felt like crying.
“You look awful!” He said suddenly and then immediately clamped his mouth shut as he berated himself internally.
Luckily, Tom didn’t seem to be offended. He chuckled thinly.
“Right back at you.” He wheezed between heaving breaths, “Pink is… definitely… not your colour.” He flashed a shit eating grin.
Simon looked down at himself. He was wearing a pretty simple ensemble; cream linen trousers, a pink shirt with a silk scarf tied in a fashionable loose knot about his neck. His long hair was pulled back in a loose and messy bun at the back of his head although a few of the front most strands were looser about his face. It was a style that was all the rage over on the continent, and it set the whole outfit off nicely. He frowned in confusion and Tom grinned back.
Tom waved his hand. “You’ve met Sarah, of course.”
Sarah, apparently waiting for her moment, extended her hand towards him.
“I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot.” She smiled. Simon eyed her suspiciously but, with a glance to see the sincerity on both her and Tom’s faces, he finally relented and shook her hand.
“It’s lovely to meet you properly.” She continued undeterred, “I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.”
Simon suddenly felt intensely awkward. He’d have done just about anything to have a chance to catch up with Tom but having to socialise with Tom’s adopted family was pretty close to the bottom of that list.
He shrugged. “Well, here I am.”
Sarah nodded. “Is your um… friend not joining us?”
Simon rolled his eyes. “My husband got called into work.” He said pointedly.
He noticed Tom frown and then raise a questioning eyebrow which contained more than a hint of concern. Simon was quick to reassure him. “Nothing serious, don’t worry.”
He didn’t want Tom expending any energy worrying about Ethan. Not now. Sarah looked somewhat embarrassed.
“Yes I’m sorry. I’m not used to all of this modern…” Sarah waved her hand to fill the gap. “How long have you been married?”
“Three years,” Simon answered curtly, “and it’s hardly all that modern.”
Sarah nodded earnestly. “I used to think it was sinful, people going against God’s plan, but one of the boys in Rachel’s class is y’know, one of you, and it got me thinking if either of my little angels was ever…” she paused and Simon waited with an awful anxiety, “I couldn’t imagine loving them any less because of it.”
He blinked. That hadn’t been what he’d been expecting. He glanced at his brother. Tom didn’t seem surprised but had a pinched, cautious sort of expression, and was staring back at him. Tom had clearly heard this from Sarah before.
“I… that’s-” Simon started but was glad when she interrupted him. For once he had nothing to say.
“Plus I saw the boy, there was no mistaking it.” Sarah made a confusing but apparently deliberate sort of gesture that somewhat resembled jazz hands. “And it struck me that if he was like that before and after baptism then it really had to be God’s plan all along, didn’t it. Did you always know?”
“I… er…” Simon thought about what her question was really asking. ‘Have you always been a homosexual?’ would’ve been another way to phrase it. Trouble was, Simon had no idea how to answer. He’d never given his own sexuality a moment’s thought other than ‘Can I bring myself to sleep with this person in order to get this job done?’, but the answer usually had been yes. Ethan’s gender had never come into it, not once in all these years.
Simon sought about for some suitable words and then said. “I fell in love with my husband the day that I met him. I’ve always known that.”
It felt lame in comparison to the truth and depths of his feelings for Ethan, but it was an accurate, surface level reading of the way that things had been.
“Aww, that’s sweet.” Sarah smiled and it felt patronising, “It was the same for me and Grant. Our eyes just met, and I knew.”
Tom was watching them silently from his wheelchair, clearly following the conversation with keen eyes which conveyed the same sharpness he’d always possessed. Suddenly the oddness of the whole situation crashed over him.
“What is this?” Simon asked them both sharply before focusing on Sarah, “Why did you want to meet me?”
Sarah smiled again and this time it felt entirely genuine.
“Tom is my brother.” She said sadly, “And you’re his brother. No matter what mom says that makes you family in my eyes… though I’m not sure my husband would agree.” She reached over and laid her hand over the top of Tom’s before turning back to Simon with her ever present smile. “Tommy’s always had it hard, being adopted and all, and I’m happy for him that you’re here too. I’m happy for you both. And I would love the chance to get to know you Simon.”
Simon blinked in surprise.
“Oh… okay.” He said, quite taken aback, “And why now?”
“Well it was quite a shock, honestly, seeing you there in the hospital.” Sarah replied, “And things have been very busy for me since, helping out mom and Tommy at home.” She patted Tom’s hand in a way that again felt patronising. “I just needed time to pray over it and receive guidance.”
Simon pursed his lips. “I see.”
In his wheelchair, Tom coughed. Simon’s attention snapped to him. Tom shook Sarah’s hand off of his own and then raised his to wipe at the corner of his mouth.
“Sarah really does just want to get to know you brother.” He rasped, “I wouldn’t have invited you otherwise.”
Simon knew that his limited experience of the Kazansky family thus far was enough for him to condemn Sarah on the spot, whatever she said, but he trusted his brother implicitly and if Tom said she was sincere, then he was a big enough man to accept it. He looked to her and nodded and she beamed at him.
“So what is it that you do Simon?” Sarah asked lightly and with a smile, “Tommy never got round to telling me.”
Simon could sense Tom’s attention focus like a laser, although he gave no outward indication with any kind of movement. Simon deliberately kept his face straight and his tone light.
“Oh, I’m in removals.” He said, “I have my own business, specialising in transporting high value items.”
Tom rolled his eyes which was almost enough to get Simon to smile. But he was starting to have fun and wanted to prolong it.
“Oh that’s interesting.” Sarah said, “My husband Grant is in insurance. You must have to work with insurers in your day to day.”
“Oh, insurance companies are undoubtedly affected by my work.” Simon flashed her a wide grin.
Beside them Tom coughed in a way that sounded more as though he were choking. Sarah rushed to settle him, rubbing his back and dabbing at his mouth with a handkerchief until he was able to gather enough of himself to push her away.
“Where do you live?” She asked Simon as though nothing had happened. “Are you local?”
“I don’t really-” Simon began answering on autopilot but, as he was still staring at his brother, he caught the stern look that Tom sent his way and pivoted to the first answer that sprang to mind. “Er… Virginia. At the moment.”
It seemed as good a place to name as any. That was where the headquarters of the IMF was located and so he and Ethan spent a fair amount of time there. But there were many cities around the world that felt more special to him, and several new properties that he owned, but nothing that he would yet call home.
“But I’ve lived all over,” Simon continued for effect, “Paris, England, Switzerland… many places.”
“Oh wow.” Sarah exclaimed. “And with Tom in the Navy, you boys are both so well travelled! I’ve hardly even left the state!” She laughed, “I’m not sure I’d know what to do with myself in Switzerland.”
Tom coughed again and Simon watched as Sarah reached into a bag for a bottle of water and then helped him drink.
“Better?” She asked and Tom nodded, “Think you could manage a popsicle?” Tom nodded again, wiping his mouth with a grimace.
“I’ll let you two have a chance to catch up.” Sarah said as she stood. “I’ll get us some ice creams as well!”
Simon watched her go. For the first time since the hospital when he had made the offer to look after his brother, he was starting to understand what might have been involved in such a task. Sarah seemed so naturally at home when helping Tom drink or clean the spittle from his mouth. And presumably in the intervening time, both she and Mrs Kazansky had been called upon to do a whole lot more.
Simon could have done it, and would have, but for the first time he was glad that he hadn’t had to. It would have changed something about their relationship in a way that he was not prepared for. And in truth, the state his brother was in had shocked him.
“I didn’t know you’d lived in Switzerland.” Tom rasped, interrupting Simon’s thoughts. Simon’s attention snapped back to him.
“I haven’t.” He admitted, “It’s just that’s where most of my bank accounts are…”
Tom’s face split into a wide grin. He threw his head back and let out an incredible sound. For a moment Simon panicked, thinking that his brother might be choking again but then he realised that that couldn’t be further from the truth. Tom laughed and laughed and laughed. The sound was rasping and rougher than usual, but no less joyful for it. Simon joined in, laughing along with him, delighted to be in his brother's company once again.
“Oh I’ve missed you.” Tom said dabbing at his eyes, “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course,” Simon grinned, “Ethan sends his love. How are you?”
“I have my last round of treatment next week.” Tom rasped, “Good, fucking, riddance. It makes me feel sicker than the cancer ever did. And once that’s done…” He coughed, “scans, checks…”
“But it looks promising?” Simon asked.
Tom nodded. “Yeah, it looks promising. Ethan is he…?” He broke out into coughing again but motioned for Simon to continue the conversation.
“Reconnaissance mission somewhere in Bosnia, I think.” Simon said, “Benji’s with him. I’m hoping to meet him in Milan when he’s done. I’ve bought a little apartment there.”
Tom raised his eyebrows. “Are you settling down?” He wheezed.
Simon shook his head. “It’s just another thing to do with my money, and it adds to the number of places Ethan can go in an emergency. We still don’t really live anywhere.”
Tom nodded. “Say hi to him for me.” He croaked.
“Of course,” Simon promised, “And you can still call, anytime.”
Tom coughed again but waved Simon away when he tried, awkwardly, to shuffle closer to help.
“Thanks.” Tom wheezed eventually, and then grinned. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Simon laughed, “Now you know I can’t promise that brother.” He said as Tom joined him in his laughter.
They were still laughing when Sarah returned, a few moments later, holding an ice cream cone in each hand and a plastic wrapped ice lolly.
“Gosh it’s so strange seeing you two sitting next to each other.” Sarah said as she settled herself once again on the bench between them, “You’re so different! But you boys look just the same when you smile.”
She handed one of the cones to Simon before opening the plastic wrapping and handing the fruity number over to Tom. He nodded his thanks to her before licking at it gratefully.
“Thank you.” Simon said.
Sarah licked at her ice cream and looked out over the park. Giving every appearance of nonchalance, she said. “I’ve been thinking about it and there’s not an easy way to say this Simon, but I want to apologise that my family hasn’t been more welcoming. I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for you two to have been split up. I’m sorry my parents did that to you both.”
Simon froze, stunned, as he took in her words. She turned to him.
“And I’m sorry that mom won’t let you come and visit. It’s not fair. Poor Tommy could do with the company and-”
Until that moment Simon would’ve said he couldn’t have cared less about the Kazansky family beyond how their actions affected his brother, but hearing Sarah’s words brought a wholly unexpected lump to his throat and he felt a tear brewing in the corner of his eye. Without trusting himself to speak, Simon leant forward and enveloped her in a hug, albeit an awkward one, with them both holding dripping ice creams out to one side. He hugged her as tightly as he could manage, hoping that the strength of his actions conveyed truly how much her words had meant to him. Words that he’d never expected or even thought that he’d wanted to hear.
“Oh bless you.” Sarah said as a tentative hand wrapped around his shoulders and hugged him back.
After a moment more which he took to compose himself, Simon drew away.
“Thank you.” He said, “That… that means a lot.”
“I’m so glad to know you Simon.” She said, grasping his hand in her own, “And I’m so glad you and Tommy found one another again. I’ll pray for you both.”
In the end they chatted for a good few hours. Sarah told Simon all about her two children, Rachel and John, who were now fifteen and twelve respectively whilst Simon regaled her with some non-incriminating stories of places he’d been and things he’d seen around the world. It felt good, hearing all about her life, though it was a far cry from his own. She seemed riveted by his every word and Simon couldn’t help but wonder if she might thrive if given the chance to get out of her small corner of California.
Tom didn’t say much, but the smile on his face as they talked gave away his feelings on the subject. In the end, Simon came to the unexpected conclusion that he actually liked Sarah Kazansky, and found himself disappointed when she looked at her watch and exclaimed that she needed to get Tom home so that she wouldn’t be late in picking up the kids from school.
Simon bent down and gently coaxed his brother into a hug. Tom felt bony and delicate in his arms, but he hugged back with a surprising strength.
“Thank you.” Tom’s words were like the whisper of the wind in his ear, but he heard the message loud and clear.
Simon squeezed him gently before drawing back. “Take care of yourself, brother. Let’s not leave it so long next time.”
Both Sarah and Tom nodded their agreement, and then they were off, disappearing back down the path that they’d come from, leaving Simon with fewer worries, and a much fuller heart.