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Johnny Horseman

Summary:

Johnny Bravo in yet another dating escapade meets up with a horse willing to gallop into the buff blond's heart. Will things canter smoothly or will Johnny buck it all up?

Notes:

First fic of the New Year, folks. First story in the series in AO3, Johnny's Furry Escapades.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Johnny was known for picking up dates and at times struck out from getting played at the beach just for the girl to get back at her boyfriend to even getting attacked by a crab for dating his girl being an antelope. This was quite a bizarre history the macho blond had in His love life. But despite all that was happening in his Life, he took it in stride not letting it get him down. For today, he was back on the horse to go on yet another date to get some.
To make It short and sweet, the blond had a match on his PC and both agreed to have the lady come to his mom’s crib to meet each other. He got on his typical muscle shirt and Jeans, sprayed cologne and hair gel and the pece de resistance, his sunglasses. Once done, he made crazy poses in the mirror smirking at his reflection.
“Oh, baby. Another foxy mama’s comin’ my way. Who knew that hookin’ up could be easy than It sounds? Sure, I’ve been shot down but no chick could resist the Johnnymeister’s charm forever.”, Johnny boasted admiring his muscular physique excited about the mystery girl arriving. His mother, Bunny over the years witnessed many girls coming and going in and out of her son’s life like the thief in the night. Well, almost for she’s unaware of weird characters that schmoozed with the buff oaf. However, a doorbell rang signaling Johnny that the time has finally come.
“It must be my date. Showtime.”, Johnny said making poses before smoothly went to the front door. He excitedly placed his hand on the knob awaiting the lady from the other side. Little did he Know that he will be In for quite a surprise. Once the door opened, Johnny was surprised beyond belief.
“Hola, guapo.”
“Wowsers!”
Right Johnny was to say for in front of him was a female. Now when I say that he got back on the horse, I didn’t mean it literally. It was an actual horse being the color buckskin with chestnut mane and tail with one side of her hair covering her left eye which both are green. She also had a sunhat on her head and a purse shaped like a saddlebag. The horse stared at the buff blond with a smile on her face. Johnny looked up at the mare as she introduced her herself.
“Yo soy Chelle. Y tu?”, the horse now Chelle said to Johnny as he was puzzled scratching his head.
“Er, Johnny. I’m the one who set the date up for us online.”, he said nervously. Granted, he should get use to all his misadventures in dating when it comes to anthropomorphic animals of the opposite sex. After all, this date is not his first rodeo. Chelle tilted her hed in confusion and curiosity of the buff blond as both didn’t know what to say next. For Chelle’s main language is Spanish which is foreign to the meathead however, the translator thig-a-majig that Carl made for him would come in handy.
“Johnny? Ah, si. Si.”, Chelle said now remembering her match online though it was a mystery how she could operate a PC due to her having hooves.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, Chelle. Tu habla Ingles?”, Johnny asked but thankfully the horse nodded her head confirming to be so.
“Yes. Glad you asked. I’m really looking forward to going On a date.”, she said excitedly as Johnny closed the house door stepping outside with Chelle.
“I guess we can see where this goes. How about we take a stroll across town for a bit?”, the blond offered as Chelle happily greed.
“Claro que si. We can get to know each Other quite better. Oops, my purse fell off. Can you pick It up for me, por favor?”, Chelle asked as Johnny did just that. Little did he know that the mare had a seductive look ogling Johnny’s taut round buttocks bent over for a moment. She snapped Out of her stupor after her purse was handed to her.
“Hey, Chelle? Here’s your purse.”, Johnny said placing the purse On Her back.
“Gracias. Shall we get going?”, Chelle said batting her lashes seductively at the blond. Johnny shrugged and had to figure out how they’ll drive for the horse is kind Of big but not as big as Becky the moose. He placed his hand on the mare’s shoulder on her left and smiled at each Other.
“Hmm. I’m sure the folks wouldn’t be freked out about this. Let’s hoof It.”, he said causing Chelle to stifle a giggle as both went out on a walk throughout the town.
Both were strolling with some passersby feeling curious while some were weirded Out of the blond’s date being a horse. However, Johnny as usual was unfazed for he dated a werewolf, an antelope which ended badly with a possessive crab and a moose though under witness protection. Chelle eyed her date with a mixture of curiosity and admiration for she hadn’t dated a male human nor seen Johnny creeped Out of the idea of going Out with her. She wanted to figure him out a whole lot more and as for Johnny, the encounter let alone the date wasn’t as chaotic as the previous ones when It comes to anthros. Both walked side by side ignoring the passersby gazing at them In the city. The blond noticed a familiar diner up ahead and turned to the Latina mare.
“Say, I know a great place we could hang Out at. I’m sure Pops wouldn’t mind at all.”, Johnny said causing Chelle to tilt her head In confusion.
“Your Papi?”, she wondered with Johnny nodding.
“In a way you can say that. His diner’s straight ahead. He’s very nice.”, Johnny noted with a smile which was Infectious to Chelle. The mare silently let her date lead her to the diner to hang Out. Once the diner’s in view, they manage to head inside the diner much to the other patrons’ bewilderment seeing a horse walking into a diner let alone Johnny accompanying her. Johnny spotted Chelle feeling a Little nervous with many people ogling her like she’s from another Planet. Though a gentle stroke through her mane down her shoulder from Johnny assures her that it’s going to be Just fine. They successfully made It to the bar area where Chelle accidentally crushed her seat to bits. Johnny shrugged it off like it was no big deal.
“Perdon.”, Chelle apologized blushing.
“It’s all right. I’ll go holler for Pops to get us something.”, Johnny assured as Chelle decided to sit on her haunches.
“Hey, Pops. Can you whip us up something for me and my girl?”, he asked as Chelle blushed profusely with her blue eyes widened In surprise. Though she shook off her stupor as she spotted a middle-aged man with a friendly face wearing a waiter’s classic wear in which It was Pops. The man greeted Johnny with a smile.
“Hey there, Johnny. Good to see you. Hey, who’s the girl you’re talking about?”, Pops wondered but Johnny gestured his Hand to the sunhat wearing mare next to him.
“Hola.”, Chelle said politely as Pops felt bewildered for a moment but shook it Off for he remembered Johnny’s past experiences with the Anthro ladies.
“Oh. I’m Pops. Care to tell me your name, Miss?”, he said as Chelle said her name. Johnny explained to Pops how he met Chelle earlier though the father figure wasn’t surprised of the buff blond’s track record of online dating.
Pops later gave Johnny and Chelle their orders but the diner owner left them be. Once Pops took care of the other customers, Chelle broke the silence eating her salad.
“So, Johnny. Our date seems to go well so far.”
“Yeah. I can say the same.”, Johnny agreed as he chomped on his burger with His elbows on the table. Chelle shook Her Hed with a smirk watching her date’s table manners. She then sighed ignoring it for now as she asked a question.
“I know we just met today and all but have you ever thought about dating outside your species? Well specifically Anthro?”, Chelle asked in curiosity not wanting to be a buzzkill but she wanted to learn from the man next to her. Johnny swallowed His burger and rubbed his chin in thought Of the question entering his brain. He processed what the curious mare had asked but Johnny clueless as ever asked.
“Anthro? What’s that mean?”, Johnny genuinely wanted to know. Chelle sipped her drink placing the cup down with her forehoof and explained simple but clear.
“Anthro is an animal with human qualities and intelligence capable of jobs and the like which I am. Regular animals don’t have these traits and not as sentient as myself and others out there.”, Chelle explained the best for Johnny to comprehend. The blond thought about telling her about his interactions but had to be a bit discrete out of respect for his new date. He swallowed his pride and more of the burger and went ahead with what he had to say hoping that it would stick well.
“Actually, yes. And Honestly, I did date some in the past.”, Johnny said prompting Chelle to tilt her head wanting more answers. She wasn’t angry or anything but she wished to know more.
“Really? Surprise me.”, she said with a smirk moving her ears pivoting more to Johnny as He told his war stories in the world Of romance.
“There was this werewolf chick Fluffy who claimed to change back Into a human at sunrise after a full moon. We manage to hit It off just fine despite her canine habits. I hated how the other people just freaked out at the sight of Her for she didn’t even hurt anybody.”, He said as Chelle frowned of how some people can be really stupid and judgmental at times but she Let Johnny continued.
“Well despite them being jerks, we had a great time until that Wednesday when she revealed to be a middle-aged bald man collecting stamps. I freaked Out at that but we stayed friends though.”, Johnny said as Chelle nodded her Head in understanding. Thankfully, Johnny didn’t get slapped or cussed out in Spanish or English by Chelle. He continued onto the next story where he had to volunteer in a witness protection program for a moose from the mob but turned out they were returning her Pursw back to Her. However, this final story got Chelle’s attention the most as Johnny prepares himself to tell It for it was personal. He took a deep breath after eating his fries. Chelle nuzzled him soothingly easing his nerves. The silence was broken with him telling what really happened.
“I met an antelope online who I thought at first is Human based on the Picture but it was the former. Her name was Carol.”, Johnny said the name which Chelle’s ears perked up on high alert of the mentioning Of the particular antelope. The mare turned to Johnny in surprise.
“Carol? Oh no. What did she do?”, Chelle wondered frowning at the antelope which confused Johnny.
“Is she a friend Of yours?”
“Yes. She can be such a scatterbrain.”, Chelle remarked but urged Johnny to continue.
“Yes. Carol was eccentric. Like the other dates in the past, It wasn’t as monotonous but let’s just say that she’s not good behind the wheel. Don’t ask me how she’s able to drive still with Her license. Anyway, our evening at a restaurant albeit a fancy one was a great idea to break the Ice. However, what Carol did with her motives was wrong and dangerous.”, the buff blond said with Chelle raising an eyebrow.
“Peligrosa? What did she do?”
“Carol dated me to get back at her boyfriend who’s a Literal crab.”, Johnny said bitterly at the mention of Carol’s boyfriend.
“Carl? What did he do to you?”, Chelle asked in concern.
“He started the fight thinking I was making a move on Carol First like I Knew they were together. We scrapped throughout the restaurant and unfortunately the both Of us were thrown In jail. To add salt to the wound, we shared the same cell.”, Johnny grumbled with Chelle speechless of what Johnny had said. The mare felt angry at Carol’s stupidity putting Johnny in danger like that. She facehoofed in frustration.
“Carol, tu loca puta y Carl, tu estupida pandeja.”, the mare cursed in Spanish flavorful. Pops raised an eyebrow watching the convo blushing hearing the Horse do such talk.
“So that’s how you went to jail.”
This startled Johnny and Chelle in which the latter whinnied spooked with her summer hat jumping off her head and landed back safely. Both gasped at a laughing Pops but Johnny shook off his stupor whining to the father figure.
“Pops, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“P-Shaw. I had to do better than that for it to happen and won’t do that. And you should be more careful when put in a situation like that. The way you said about the antelope woman oozes bad news. All I’m saying to you, man. Date and vet smarter. I wonder what happened to the crab fellow anyway?”, Pops wondered with Johnny snorting.
“Hopefully part of a seafood boil.”
“Johnny!”, Pops and Chelle gasped at the buff dude’s assumption to Carol’s boyfriend’s fate.
“Johnny, I’m surprised at you. Don’t wish that on him. Sure, he picked a fight with you though It was Carol’s fault. But be happy that you at least are dating a girl who’s willing to give you a chance right now.”, Pops advised the buff oaf. Johnny knew that Pops was right for Chelle is willing to give dating a human a shot. Johnny looked at Chelle into her eyes and both were blushing but deep down knew that this wouldn’t be as bad especially for Johnny despite his past flubs with the other Anthro animals. Chelle offered to pay Pops the meal but the man shook his head.
“No worries, ma’am. It’s on the house. And be sure that Johnny behaves himself. I sure hope that Bunny doesn’t have my neck if anything were to happen to him.”, Pops said before the couple left the diner. When both were standing near a tree, Chelle eyed Johnny suspiciously with the blond oaf confused.
“Bunny? Who is she? She’s not your current girlfriend, is she?”, the mare pinned her ears glaring for an answer. Johnny quickly pulled out a picture of the matriarch showing her the pic.
“No. Bunny’s my mama. The house you went to earlier to meet me, that’s her home. That’s my childhood house.”, he said sincerely. Chelle relaxed her ears and cooed.
“Aww. That’s so sweet.”, Chelle said impressed but apologized for jumping the gun.
“Don’t sweat it, Chelle. It’s all good. Say, it’s getting quite late.”, Johnny noted watching the orange sunset settled. Both marveled at the beauty of the horizon as Chelle nuzzled against Johnny lovingly. She enjoyed Johnny’s closeness as the sunset graced the town.
“It’s so beautiful. Muy bonita.”, the mare smiled expressing her blue eyes to Johnny. She then asked a question that boggled her mind.
“Johnny? How come you wear your sunglasses indoors and Outdoors? Well, what I meant to say is that could I see your eyes?”, the mare wonderd
“My eyes?”
“Si, silly. Eyes are the window to the soul, you know.”, Chelle said passionately with Johnny reluctantly agreeing to the idea. However, he couldn’t say no to a pretty face human or Anthro. He took off his glasses revealing his eyes that captivated the equine. Both stared into each other’s eyes without saying a word. The silence was there though blissful except for the cicadas and the bustling of the town. However, Chelle broke the silence with an honest statement with a little hesitation.
“Chelle? Are you all right?”, Johnny asked In concern as the Anthro horse sighed.
“Johnny, you might not believe my words but you’re the first human man who is willing to give me a chance.”, the Horse said softly with Johnny raising an eyebrow.
“Really?”
“Si. I find human guys attractive. The thing is, no other man ever thought nor dared to date an Anthro girl. I guess they’re quite turned Off of dating one despite me having a job and of course Carol, too.”, Chelle confessed. Johnny was aware of Carol being a realtor holding a steady career with connections due to her family name. Though he didn’t know what Chelle did for a Living.
“Mind if I ask but what do you do exactly?”, Johnny asked wanting to know about his date.
“Oh. I’m a fashion designer.”, Chelle said honestly with Johnny impressed.
“That’s quite amazing. And to be honest, I’m glad I got to know you a Lot more. I mean, sure there’s more to know about us but it’s still good on the first day. And you really gave me a chance also.”, Johnny said earnestly. Chelle nodded knowing the sincerity from each other. They stared at the sky for a while face to face until the horse passionately kissed the blond oaf like a normal woman. This shocks Johnny but he didn’t freak Out though Chelle blushed Profusely. Unlike the werewolf Fluffy and the antelope Carol’s kisses, Chelle’s wasn’t as sloppy but more refined. Chelle waited for Johnny’s reaction feeling afraid she came on too strong. Much to her relief, the buff oaf didn’t mind it one bit. In fact, he gently pulled Chelle closer to his face and returned the kiss which both had their tongues dance for dominance. Both Anthro girl and human guy didn’t care who was around for they were too busy in their own universe to even notice.
Once they’ve broken apart, they gazed into each other’s eyes in blissful silence. Nothing went awkward nor tense during that tender moment. After a few seconds did Johnny break the silence.
“Whoa. That was amazing.”, Johnny said sincerely making Chelle perk up with hopefulness and aderation.
“R-Really?”
“Yeah. The kiss and everything that happened up to this point. I’m not known to gush like this.”, the buff oaf sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. Chelle stifled a giggle before nuzzling her face into his.
“It’s Okay. But I’m glad I feel the same way, too. And I did enjoy our date. I wish to do this again with you for as long as there are many mananas.”, the mare said as Johnny smiled.
“I see what you mean, Chelle. Live life to the fullest. That’s my creedo despite all my shortcomings at times.”, the blond oaf sagely said with the mare nodding her head in agreement. She then blushed thinking about tonight even though this is the first meeting. It may seem realistically galloping headfirst into a relationship already but Chelle wanted to get to know this guy and both had something In common. Both want a fair chance of a relationship despite their unique shortcomings. The horse swallowed her pride and offered to do something about it.
“Johnny?”
“Yeah?”
“Since it’s getting late, would you mind staying over my place?”, Chelle stammered swishing her tail in anticipation. Johnny silently gasped at this for it was kind Of awkwardfor him to be at a woman’s place outside his family. The Last time he did so, it ended in disaster with him ending up as a cubic sarconium attraction in deep humiliation. But this time, he knew that was in the past and the fact a girl despite her being a talking yet careermare is willing to get to know him. Johnny then followed Pops’s advice and took In Chelle’s offer.
“Sure. Where’s your place?”, he asked.
“I’ll show you. But you don’t have to walk all the way there. I-I’ll carry you.”, the horse offered batting her eyelashes seductively with Johnny tilting his head.
“You mean me riding you bareback all through the night? If that’s not hardcore, then I don’t know what is.”, Johnny joked causing Chelle to laugh. The horse then calmed herself down and agreed with a flirtatious smile. She then let Johnny climb on her back making sure he was safely comfortable waiting for Chelle to gather her bearings once the oaf’s on her back. The mare felt his muscular keister on her and moaned blissfully as she looked up at him smirking.
“Oh and don’t get too excited.”, Chelle advised smiling making Johnny clueless to what she meant. Without warning, Johnny gently but firmly popped Chelle’s rear making the Spanish mare whinny and gallop to their destination. Much to Johnny’s confusion, Chelle really did like how he did that to her.
Outside of Chelle’s home in the suburbs, a cottage being a pale pink stood uniquely among the picket fenced properties of the residences. However, the night sky obscured most Of the natural sunlight but the moonlight illuminated a silhouette of a woman who just spotted Johnny and Chelle heading inside the fashion designer’s home. The lady giggled and smirked to herself heading into the cottage shutting the door.
Cutting to her bedroom, the mystery woman giggled some more. The camera revealed her plump strange figure wearing a strapless nightie Of magenta color hugging her pink colored body though her face isn’t shown though white pearls were around her neck. The individual sighed to herself before speaking her mind.
“So this is the guy the girls were talking about last year. Hmm, he’s quite a catch. Worth rolling In the mud with, even.”, she giggled and made a cute snort between her giggles. But she frowned hearing about Johnny’s past experiences with Anthro women.
“Carol, you pinhead! You’re antics got the hunk strung up in jail. Your loss is my gain. And Chelle, don’t think you’re hogging him all to yourself. He might be ours once I’m done with him or rather we’re done with him.”,, she said giggling and snorting to herself. Afterwards, the story ends with the lamp turned off but the silhouette from the moonlight showed all of her figure excited to get a chance with the blond oaf.
--
FINI?

Notes:

The horse Johnny dated in this fic is loosely based off of Chelle from The Road TO El Dorado film. Yes, Johnny in the show did date anthropomorphic animals being a she-wolf, antelope and a moose. Of course, the girl pigs in the Christmas special did take a liking to him, damn. Speaking of pigs, the next story in the series will involve one. So stay tuned and see y'all next time.
PS: I'll continue with Chelle and Johnny in the next chapter or create another new fic in the AO3 series.

Series this work belongs to: