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The smell of smoke stung her nose. The sound of blasters echoed. Haze and fire surrounded her. The villagers were sprinting past her, screaming. Adora ran through the mess, towards the danger.
The sound of rushing water. The coldness of the black quartz under her palms. She felt her hair, still in its tight ponytail, draped across her left shoulder.
Breathe… Breathe… She tried to tell herself. She was looking down at the sink, only dimly aware of the still running water. She was staring down at the white marbled sink, but her gaze unseeing.
A Horde tank stopped mere inches from her face. She had stood against it, her arms outstretched. Why had she done that? There was no way that should have worked. Maybe before she would have believed that it would, back when she had believed everything the Horde had said. They were the good guys, the ones who strove to free Etheria. Good guys stopped when they saw a civilian.
...But the Horde weren’t the good guys…
...
...
...
And she knew that now…
The tank had stopped. The port door flung opened and out popped– Catra?!
...Catra!...
Adora took a deep breath. Inhale through the nose. Exhale through the mouth. In. Out. In. Out. Just like Bow had shown her yesterday. In. Out. In… Out… That last exhale hung in the air. She wanted to recall Bow’s voice then. Kind and gentle.
He had put a hand on her back. Glimmer had too. It had felt… nice…
Catra leapt off of the tank, knocking Adora down as she landed on her. “They let me drive a tank, can you believe it?!” Catra had practically purred. Her eyes were wide and bright. She had smiled then. Had that been the last time she had seen Catra smile? Would it be the last time?
The scene shifted. Adora was on her feet again. Catra stood before her. She wasn’t smiling anymore. She looked hurt. Her eyes were wide, she was staring at Adora as if in disbelief. Her smile was gone. She was frowning.
Catra… She had wanted to call out. She wanted to take a step closer. She wanted to reach out. She tried to. The tips of her fingers brushed against Catra’s coarse fur. Catra stepped back. Adora tried to follow. Sweet Etheria, she really had tried! She legs refused to budge. They felt as heavy as concrete.
Adora’s knuckles turned white as her grip on the bathroom countertop tightened.
Catra took another step back. The smoke grew thick. It swallowed her.
Adora exhaled. Her throat was tight. Her chest felt heavy. Everything else was numb. The sound of the running faucet was dim, the light in the bathroom faint.
Catra!
Maybe if she had called… Maybe if she hadn’t been so slow… She should have tried harder! She should have been better!
Poof!
Adora startled. She blinked. She glanced up, her gaze falling upon her reflexation in the mirror.
It’s you! Catra’s tiny voice echoed in her head. She could picture it. Her and Catra, barely five years old, tottering around the Horde. One of them (probably Catra but the memory was too old for her to recall properly) had found a mirror hidden away in a supply closet for some strange reason. A white sheet had been placed on it, hiding away from everyone else. Everyone but two curious kids who always had to check out everything…
Catra had shown her the mirror and for some reason had happily exclaimed to her, “It’s you!”
“Adora?” Someone called. The voice was masculine, yet still soft and kind, a stark contrast to the Horde.
“Adora?” Someone else, probably Glimmer, repeated, a few moments later.
“C-coming!” Adora called out. She cleared her throat and blinked. Tears had started to sting her eyes at some point. She turned the faucet off and wiped at her eyes with her sleeve.
***
“What is this?” Adora asked, she opened the bathroom door to the sight of Glimmer and Bow.
They were unrolling pink sleeping bags. A couple of matching pillows were already on the floor.
They had brought dinner to her room earlier. Apparently Queen Angella was busy tonight and wasn’t able to eat with them in the Grand Dining Hall, which meant that they didn’t have to eat there tonight, a relief to Aorda; she hated the Grand Dining Hall. It felt too stiff, too formal. And she ate like a soldier, quick and (perhaps just a little) messy. And despite the massivness of the dinning hall, she felt too visible. She knew everyone in Bright Moon was watching her. She heard the hushed whispers as she walked through the halls. She felt the heated glares of the guards. She was even aware of the extra security stationed by her bedroom door and her windows.
Eating in her room was less stress-inducing. It was for Glimmer as well. Which was weird to Adora because she thought that, since she had grown up royalty, Glimmer would be used to the formality and stiffness of a royal dinner. She wasn’t.
After dinner, both Bow and Glimmer had disappeared. Adora assumed that they were gone for the day, no doubt exhausted from their mission in Pulmeria. She didn’t expect to see them for the rest of the night.
“Well, since you’ve slept in a room by yourself before,” Glimmer began, setting up a sleeping bag, “Bow and I thought we’d throw a sleepover, then you won’t feel so alone.” She gestured to the pillows and sleeping bags.
“We even got you a new bed!” Bow added with a large smile, pointing at the new addition to her room. Gone was the monstrosity of the old, too fluffy and too soft mattress that was way too big to be practical. In its place was a more sensibly sized cot. It almost resembled her old cot in the Horde. It was slightly larger than it, and way more colorful, with pink sheets instead of the dull gray of the Horde.
Adora’s face lit up and she went over to it. She sat down, relieved to not be swallowed up by the new bed. She ran her hands across the sheets. They were still much, much softer than the thin, scratchy sheets she had had in the Horde. The softness wasn’t as overwhelming as before though. It was comforting. She clutched her fingers around the fabric, focusing on how nice it felt.
“It’s wonderful,” she breathed, eventually flopped down. The firmness of the new mattress felt ways better and more familiar than the fluffy, feathery bed before. It wasn’t as firm as her cot in the Horde had been. It was a nice (and welcomed) combination of the two mattresses. For some strange reason, it felt like home...
“We can do this tomorrow, too!” Bow said. Although she wasn’t looking at him, Adora could practically picture the smile on his face. There was just something about the way he talked. You could hear his emotions just behind his tone. So far, his emotions were mostly postive ones. Even when she was their prisoner, recall Bow ever treating her anything but kind.
“Since Glimmer’s grounded for ignoring orders,” he added, glancing at Glimmer and flashing her a grin. The sight vaguely reminded her of Catra for a moment. A brief, flickering moment.
“For one week!” Glimmer replied. Despite her increased volume, she sounded amused, happy even. She turned to Adora, “Three weeks less than normal.” She held up three fingers as if to emphasize.
“And Mom said she’d consider my plan to recruit new princesses into the Rebellion!” She was excited, her eyes were lighting up, the grin on her face growing.
Despite herself, Adora smiled. Glimmer and Bow had opted to sleepover in her room with her. There were two bags on the ground, so obviously, one of them (probably Bow, since Glimmer was a princess) would be sleeping on the ground. Adora figured that Glimmer would get the bed, it would be her right as a ruler, after all. Not only had they decided to sleepover tonight but tomorrow as well! All because she wasn’t used to sleeping alone.
For the first time since she had arrived in Bright Moon, since she had defected from the Horde and all she had ever known, Adora felt happy, but still… She felt her throat tighten again. Her chest was heavy… and hurt? She blinked and was surprised to feel the unwelcomed sting of tears. Her smile didn’t disappear though. She wiped them away with the sleeve of her shirt. If Glimmer and Bow said nothing. They were watching her. Both of their brows furrowed, as if in worry. Still, they didn’t comment on it and for that, she was grateful.
“Thanks, guys,” she murmured quietly. She appreciated them. Truly, she did. She had so much she wanted to tell them. So much she wanted to thank them for; getting her a new bed, sleeping over in her room with her. They were nice things. So why did they make her want to cry right then?
No matter how many times she tried to wipe the tears away, they still flowed. She switched tactics. She closed her eyes, willing the tears away. There was so much she needed to do. She wasn’t just Adora anymore. She was She-Ra. The hero of Etheria!
….
…
…
…So why didn’t she feel like it…?
She knew she wasn’t the hero Etheria wanted, or the one Etheria needed her to be. She was of the Horde. For her whole life, she had been told that her job was to takeout the princesses, and save Etheria that way. After learning the truth though… She hadn’t been destined to save Etheria, but to condemn it. She wasn’t the hero Etheria wanted or needed. Etheria would never accept a hero who had grown up in the Horde. Why had destiny forced her to be Etheria’s savior?
She wasn’t the one Etheria wanted or need. But she would do her best. With Bow and Glimmer by her side, maybe she might succeed. In the Horde, she would have gotten punished for that sort of thought process. She had to be perfect in the Horde. She couldn’t rely on others (except maybe Catra).
“I might not ever be the hero everybody wants me to be,” she continued. She wasn’t sure why but she felt comfortable around Glimmer and Bow. She had seen how Glimmer handled pressure. Glimmer was a princess. Like her, Glimmer was expected to be perfect and infallible. She wasn’t. And even though she wasn’t perfect, Adora had seen the kind of leader she was (and could be), and she was still willing to follow Glimmer wherever the Rebellion might go.
She could see that Bow felt the same way. No matter what Glimmer did, Bow was always behind her, ready to back her up. And so far, both him and Glimmer were willing to back her up as She-Ra.
“But that’s okay,” Adora continued– A pillow slapped her across her face, causing Adora to open her eyes again. Glimmer was standing before her, pillow in hand. There was no look of malice on her face though. She looked bemused actually.
“Of course it’s okay. Do you have any idea how annoying you’d be if you were perfect?”
Adora blinked. At some point Glimmer’s voice had gone away. Do you have any idea how annoying you’d be if you were perfect? Catra’s voice echoed in her head. For a brief, brief moment, it wasn’t Glimmer that stood before her. It was Catra.
Catra. Her tail flickering behind her, the mismatched eyes alight with that familiar spark she always had. Adora loved that spark. A feral grin was plastered on her face. A single fang was poking out. Adora blinked again. Catra vanished. Glimmer stood in her stead.
She felt her heart drop for a moment. Her smile faded.
“You okay?” Glimmer asked, lowering the pillow. Her brow furrowed, She looked concerned.
“Y-yeah,” Adora muttered, trying to regain control over her face and emotions. She pushed the memory of Catra aside. She smiled warmly at Glimmer again. She returned the gesture. Out of the corner of her eyes, Adora noticed her pillow. She grabbed it and hit Glimmer back.
“Aw! Best Friend Squad!” Bow gushed, joining the fray with his own pillow.
“Yeah, we’re not calling ourselves that,” Adora said during a short pause.
“I prefer ‘the Glimmer Group’,” Glimmer quipped.
“Nah. We’re the Best Friend Squad,” Bow said with a smile.
***
“Uhh… Adora… What are you doing?” Glimmer asked as she reemerged from the bathroom.
Adora had started to crawl into one of the sleeping bags. Bow was already in his, snoring soundly. “I thought we were all going to bed?” she asked, staring at Glimmer quizedly.
Glimmer poofed away from the bathroom doorway and repoofed besides Adora.
“We are but… Why are you taking my sleeping bag?” Glimmer’s eyebrow raised in confusion.
“I thought you got the bed, since you’re…”
“No! It’s your room, Adora! I’m not taking your bed!” Glimmer knew down near her and put a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m not going to invite me and Bow over here for a sleepover and then kick you out of your bed,” she repeated.
“But you’re… You’re the…” Adora stammered, not understanding. Glimmer outranked her. Surely, Glimmer would want to most comfortable sleeping spot. She deserved the best sleeping spot.
“It doesn’t matter what I am, Adora.” Glimmer’s eyes softened. She reached over, hugging Adora. Adora was so caught off guard by the gesture that she didn’t enough time to do anything but patted Glimmer’s arm before the pink-haired princess pulled away.
“Listen, I know all of this has to be…” Glimmer paused, as if thinking of her words carefully. Maybe she was. It hadn’t taken her or Bow long to realize that Adora hadn’t had a normal (she supposed that would be the right word), exposure to the world. Glimmer closed her eyes and sighed. She opened them again, a look of determination in her gaze.
“All of this has to be weird to you. I can’t think of any other way to put it. But… Me and Bow want to help. You missed out on the all the normal things.” Glimmer gestured around the room, at the new bed, the plate full of half eaten cookies, the pitcher of water, everything.
“Just… Listen, Adora, take your bed. Sleep in your bed. I brought that sleeping bag for me, not for you, okay?”
Adora simply nodded and went to stand up. Glimmer stood up with her and hugged her one more time.
“Thanks, Glimmer,” Adora murmured.
“Of course,” Glimmer replied. They pulled away from each other and Glimmer yawned.
“Alright, time for bed, we have a lot of Rebellion stuff to get sorted tomorrow,” Glimmer said. She sounded tired. She looked tired, Adora noticed. The fire that had been in her eyes most of the day had diminished.
Glimmer crawled into her sleeping bag while Adora went to her bed.