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Disclaimer: SVU and all of its characters were created by and are the property of Dick Wolf. I make no profit with this story, which is my own original work.
Captain Olivia Benson drove into the underground garage of her building and pulled into her designated space. Turning off the engine, she made no move to exit her vehicle, but merely leaned forward and rested her forehead against her folded hands where the perched atop the steering wheel. After the case she'd just closed, exhaustion didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling – bone weary was more like it. As much as she may have needed the emotional release, she was too tired to even cry. She wasn't even sure if she could make it up the elevator and into her apartment. Only the promise of a hot shower and getting out of the heels that were killing her feet were the driving force. That, and seeing her son before he headed off to his weekend dance camp adventure.
She loved Noah – more than life itself. Her son was always the brightest light in her world, especially on the darkest of days. But Olivia would be lying to herself if she didn't at least admit that what she needed right now was space to feel miserable. But that would have to wait a little longer, at least. Resolving not to let Noah see her upset, Olivia reminded herself to stay strong just a little bit longer, and grabbed her bag from the backseat. Double checking twice to make sure she locked up, she headed toward the bank of elevators, relieved to see that she would be alone for the journey to her floor.
Olivia was just turning the key in the lock, fully expecting to find her son home alone finishing some last minute packing when she heard voices coming from behind the door. Her first guess was that Noah had his phone on speaker, so she entered carefully, not wanting to intrude on a private conversation. But, much to her surprise, she walked in to find that her son was talking animatedly to someone standing in their kitchen, and that person was none other than her partner, Elliot Stabler.
It didn't take long for either of the men to notice her, and it was Noah who spoke up first, his cheeks flushing slightly.
"Hey, Mom. I know I'm not supposed to let anyone in or have anyone over when I'm home by myself. But I figured Elliot would be okay."
Depositing the items in her arms by the door and toeing off her shoes, Olivia crossed to envelop her son in a hug, beyond grateful that he didn't yet protest that type of physical contact, at least not in private.
"Of course not, sweet boy. Elliot is absolutely on the list of safe adults who you can let in to keep you company. But of course, I'm sure you both know that doesn't mean you have to let him in, either, and I'm sure you're aware he would tell you the same thing."
"Your mom is one hundred percent right, kiddo. I'm glad you feel comfortable with me here, but if you ever don't, that's okay, too."
Noah just nodded, clearly feeling a little awkward by the turn in conversation, but also equally appreciative.
"I know, I'm glad you give me those choices. Hey, mom, I still want to talk to you before Mrs. McMichael comes to pick me up, but I need to double check my bag first, okay?"
Brushing her son's unruly curls away from his brow, Olivia smiled. It wasn't lost on her that Noah was almost as tall as she was now, and while she loved seeing him become the person he was growing into, a part of her longed for the days when he was the little boy he used to be.
"Of course. I want to talk to Elliot for a few minutes, anyway. We'll catch up before you leave, I promise."
Noah hugged his mother again, then headed down the hall toward his room, closing the door behind him. When they were alone, the two partners gravitated toward one another, standing so close they were in one another's space, but not touching. Olivia looked up at Elliot, her voice soft as she asked the question on her mind.
"What are you doing here, El?"
"You called. Yes it was for help for a case, which I was more than happy to provide. But you also said – and I quote ' things are maybe not great' – and I could hear the tears in your voice that you were likely trying your damnedest not to let fall because you knew you had to hold yourself together and be strong for your squad. I wanted to run to you then and there, but I knew that wasn't what you needed."
Olivia sniffled, nodding.
"You had to see this through to the end, whatever outcome that may be. But now, you need the space to fall apart, but I know you, and as tempting as that may be, you don't really want to do that alone. Where else was I going to be but right by your side?"
They hadn't yet come up with a definition for their relationship. There wasn't a need to, really. 'Partners' said it all, and then some – encompassing every definition under a broad expanse. They were still exploring things when it came to a more physical aspect, Elliot allowing Olivia to take the lead when it came to her comfort levels and readiness. They'd spent the night at each other's places on more than one occasion, but were more than careful when it came to public displays of affection, aside from a hug or similar gesture. It wasn't that they were ashamed of what they were to one another, but wanted to enjoy it all to themselves for as long as they could before others knew it, too.
That was why, with Noah in his room, and even with the chance that he could come back out at any moment, Olivia felt perfectly at ease sinking into the comfort of Elliot's embrace. It was exactly what she needed, and it was taking every last ounce of the remaining vestiges of her control to not let the tears fall. But not yet – Noah couldn't see her fall apart. She had no problem showing vulnerability to her partner, but she didn't want her son to worry. He'd already seen far too much in his young life as it was.
Olivia felt Elliot's lips brush against the crown of her head, and relaxed even more in his arms. Then, with his lips brushing against the shell of her ear, his voice spoke, full of promise, and sounded even better than any plans she had even made for herself down in the parking garage.
"Here's what's going to happen, Liv. You're going to see that amazing boy of yours off on his weekend adventure, knowing he's going to have the time of his life."
"Then what?"
She couldn't resist asking, a slightly teasing tone in her voice, a bit grateful for the chance of levity despite the heaviness in her heart.
"Then, I'm going to pour you a glass of wine, and you're going to go in and soak in a bubble bath while I cook you dinner."
"That sounds heavenly."
Elliot debated whether or not to extend an offer of joining Olivia in the bathroom to wash her hair, but opted not to just yet – not that his gesture wouldn't be welcome, but rather because he didn't want Noah to overhear.
"Mom?"
Stepping out of the safety of Elliot's arms, Olivia turned to smile at her son.
"Yes, Noah?"
"Are you sure you'll be okay if I go away this weekend? I know you had a hard week."
Placing her hand on Noah's shoulders, Olivia squeezed gently.
"It is more than okay. You are going to have so much fun this weekend. Not only do you get to have those two dance seminars, but you and your friends have tickets for both of those shows. You don't want to miss any of that. I promise I'll be fine. Yes, I had a rough week, but things are getting so much better now."
"Will you tell Bruno that I hope he's feeling better?"
"He stopped by the office today, actually, and I gave him your message. He said thank you, and that he hopes to see you soon the next time you are at the precinct."
Noah hugged his mom again. His phone chimed then, a message from Mrs. McMichael. To further confirm, Jorge rang from downstairs to admit the woman upstairs, and soon the two mothers were going over final instructions. Mrs. McMichael was doing dropoff today, but it was Olivia who would be doing pickup on Monday.
Elliot gave Noah a fist bump, telling him to have fun. What the two didn't discuss was a little secret between them where Elliot had slipped Noah a little extra money so he could buy his mother a gift while he was away. The two shared a smile before Noah hugged his mother one last time, and then the door was closed behind him. With a heavy sigh, Olivia locked up, then turned around.
"I know I don't have to tell you this, but the goodbyes never get any easier."
"No, they don't. But it is so amazing watching them grow."
"You're damn right it is."
The pair hugged again, this time Olivia finally able to let a few tears fall.
"I believe you promised me something about a bubble bath, Detective?"
"That I did."
Elliot kissed Olivia on the tip of the nose, followed by a peck on the lips.
"What do you say you go and get out of those clothes, slip on your robe, and find something comfortable to change into? If it's all right with you, I'll start your bath for you, then give you some privacy."
Olivia's face grew pensive for a moment as she thought about what it was she truly wanted. All her previous wishes about being alone had evaporated. What she wanted – needed – was this man by her side.
"Actually, after you've put dinner in the oven, why don't you join me?"
"Is that what you really want, Liv? I don't want to intrude."
"It is. Bring enough wine for two."
True to his word, Elliot first started the water in the bath, making sure to add the calming lavender and chamomile foam that he knew Olivia favored when she most wanted to relax. Then he returned to the kitchen, putting the lasagna that he had prepared earlier with Noah into to the now preheated oven and setting the timer. Last but not least, he poured two glasses of Olivia's favorite wine, and carried them with him to the master bath.
Setting the glasses of wine on the ledge, he was about to step out one more time to go and grab himself a change of clothes from his bag when he saw that Olivia had already thought of that for him. Before doing anything else, he waited while his partner shed her robe, and extended a hand to help her into the tub, not making a move until she was submerged in the water with the suds around her shoulders.
"Are you sure there is room for me?"
"Will you stop asking, just get your ass in here, Detective."
It always did something to him when she used the authoritative voice in a domestic setting. He was helpless, and it was useless to argue. Even though he was supposed to be taking care of her – and he had every intention to – there was no choice but to heed her instruction.
"Yes, Captain."
Elliot shed his clothing, stepping carefully in the tub so as not to spill any of the wine. He arranged himself behind Olivia so that she could lean back against his chest, the water rippling softly around their bodies, and her head resting on his shoulder. The room was mostly quiet, save for some ambient music Olivia had set on her phone prior to getting in the tub herself, and the partners were content to just sit together in one another's presence.
After a time, it was Olivia who broke spell, her voice the same tone when she had called Elliot the other day, full of pain and anguish.
"I thought he was going to die, and it would have been because he was trying to protect me."
Elliot didn't need an elaboration, he knew she was talking about Terry Bruno. While he hadn't gotten the details from Olivia herself at the time, word had reached him at OC through the grapevine. While investigating a group of white supremacists, Captain Benson, Lieutenant Brady, and their respective teams had come upon a cache of explosives. Despite their attempts to flee the scene safely and without incident, they had been remotely detonated, and Detective Bruno had covered his Captain in order to shield her. In doing so, he had been struck and impaled by a flying piece of shrapnel, causing grave injury in the process.
"It's not your fault, Liv. You've got a good team. They're an extended family. Just like what we had in the day with Cragen. I may not know Bruno well, but I know he doesn't regret it. I would have done the same thing."
Olivia exhales a watery laugh, the tears she's been holding at bay for ages finally having been allowed to fall.
"Don't even think it, El. Not that I don't believe you, but you're still on the tail end of a TBI, not to mention the nail gun to the gut. You've been through enough trauma of your own."
Elliot wrapped his arms around the woman in front of him, keeping his hold secure while at the same time making sure it wasn't too restrictive.
"I'm just saying, your squad is your family just the same. You're allowed to feel what you feel."
"Thank you for that."
A beat or two paused before Elliot spoke again.
"He was proud of you, you know. I know he told you often, but I don't want you to ever forget it."
Olivia turned in Elliot's arms to cling to him more tightly. Their shared grief for the still too recent loss of their beloved Captain was yet another ache that Olivia was feeling all the more keenly with everything else she was dealing with.
"I miss him. Munch, too."
"I know. So do I."
Kissing Olivia softly, Elliot wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb.
"Did you want to soak for awhile longer? Or were you ready to get out soon?"
"I think if I soak any longer, I'm going to look like a giant prune."
Chuckling softly, Elliot's answer was another gentle kiss.
"How about I wash your hair for you before we get out, least?"
"I can't say no to that. You do have magic hands when it comes to a scalp massage. And it's not like you have hair of your own to wash anymore."
Even if the joke was at his expense, Elliot laughed heartily. It was good to see Olivia's mood shift. He moved the now empty wine glasses so he wouldn't accidentally knock them over and break them, then reached for the bottle of shampoo. Using the detachable shower head, he wet Olivia's tresses to dampen them, then worked up a lather. When it was time to rinse, he made sure to use equal devotion to not get any of the suds in his partner's eyes, then repeated the process with conditioner.
"Liv, I don't want to overstep, but did you want any help washing, or would you rather do that yourself?"
"Actually, it would be great if you could help. The fatigue is really starting to catch up with me, and the bath really relaxed me. I'm not even sure I can keep my eyes open for dinner at this point."
After washing Olivia tenderly, then taking a few moments to haphazardly run the cloth over his own body then rinse them both off, Elliot pulled the plug on the drain then reached for the towels. Putting his partner's needs before his own, he made sure she was dry, warm, and dressed again before taking care of himself. By the time they made it out to the living room and Olivia was comfortable on the couch, the timer was going off in the kitchen.
Fussing with the pillows as much as he dared before Olivia started to glare at him, Elliot dropped a kiss to her forehead and gestured toward the now annoying sound coming from the other room.
"Perfect timing. I'll be right back. We can eat in here tonight, did you need any ice for your ankle? I know you said your feet were hurting earlier, is your ankle acting up, too?"
"No, it's actually behaving itself for once. I know I probably just jinxed myself by saying that, but for now, I'm good. I will take water to drink with dinner though, if I have any more wine, I'm likely to face plant in the food instead of eating it."
"Noted."
True to his word, Elliot returned a few moments later, bearing two plates, each with a folded towel underneath to protect them from any residual heat. He carefully handed Olivia hers, cautioning her of it's temperature, then disappeared again, only to reappear with two glasses of ice water.
"Thanks, El. This looks and smells amazing."
Olivia cut into the fragrant lasagna with her fork, taking a cautious bite, and allowing the savory and robust tomato sauce dance over her palate. The blend of herbs and garlic was perfect, and Elliot's careful attention to detail even allowed him to remember that she preferred the addition of spinach mixed with the ricotta. He had even gone an extra step above and beyond and used fresh mozzarella, a personal favorite. Plus there was just something about someone cooking for you that made it even more special.
"This is delicious, Elliot."
As hungry as she was, Olivia simply could not finish the entire portion on her plate. She had made a valiant effort, though, and only a small amount remained that she intended to save for the following day. That didn't include the rest of the lasagna that was still left.
"I meant to ask earlier Liv, partly because I didn't want to push the issue, and also because I didn't want you thinking I was hovering, but what time do you have to go into the precinct tomorrow?"
Olivia hid a smirk, he knew her so well.
"I like how you phrased that, asking what time I have to go in, as opposed to whether I have to go in or not. You're getting better at this, Elliot."
"I'm trying."
Olivia reached out her hand, and Elliot took it in his own.
"Just so you know, I'm going in late tomorrow. Amanda and Curry are going to run point for me until I get there, and I scheduled an EMDR session at nine-thirty. After everything that happened, I need to touch base and recenter myself."
"That's good, Liv. I happen to have some downtime myself. I thought if it's alright with you, maybe I could take you to breakfast? And, if nothing comes up, perhaps we might spend the weekend together?"
"I would love that."
Elliot squeezed Olivia's hand once, then got to his feet. He made quick work of cleaning up the dinner dishes and tidying the kitchen. The leftovers would still have to cool a bit longer before they were safe to put away, but that was fine. There was still one more surprise he had in store for the woman he loved.
"Hey, Liv?"
"Yeah, El?"
"Did you want dessert now or later?"
"Elliot, you have to know I couldn't eat another bite if I tried."
Knowing it could wait, Elliot padded back into the living room. Despite her earlier exhaustion, the bath and dinner actually seemed to have rejuvenated Olivia somewhat, as she was more alert than she had been previously.
"I know you won't want to go to bed on a full stomach, so what would you say to watching some mindless television for a bit?"
"That sounds perfect."
Elliot grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch, and wrapped and as soon as Olivia was cuddled up against him, draped it over her. With his free hand, he grabbed the remote, easily navigating the display screen to one of her favorite shows.
Three episodes later, and he could tell she was starting to fade again. But enough time had passed since dinner that Elliot thought he would give another try at tempting his partner's sweet tooth.
"How do you feel about dessert now, Liv?"
Instantly suspicious, because otherwise he would never be so intent about whether or not she ate something – especially since she had already consumed a healthy dinner – Olivia arched an eyebrow and studied the man beside her.
"All right, Elliot Stabler, what did do?"
"I may or may not have bought your favorite dessert from your favorite bakery."
Olivia's eyes widened, and she became tearful for an entirely different reason than her rampant emotions earlier in the day. This time, it was gratitude.
"Not the banana pudding from Magnolia?"
"That's precisely it."
"You spoil me."
Elliot kissed Olivia again, carefully getting up from his spot, before glancing back with a mischievous grin.
"The only question is, Olivia, do I bring back one spoon, or two?"
"Don't you dare leave me to eat it all by myself, Stabler. Or else what we talked about earlier will come true and you really will be in danger."
"Understood."
Just as before, when the promise of dinner had helped Olivia feel more awake, the thought of her favorite dessert gave her one last bout of renewed energy. She knew she wouldn't be up much longer after that, but there was no way she could turn down banana pudding from Magnolia bakery. Even though it was local, right in the heart of Rockefeller Center, and she could easily get it as often as she wanted, she tried not to indulge too often, or else running after perps would be much more difficult. As it was, Olivia often thought they were getting younger and faster with each passing day. Either that, or it was her decision to insist on wearing heels instead of a more practical shoe.
"Here you go, Liv. First bite is yours."
Eyeing the size of the container that her partner passing her, Olivia reached for it carefully, making sure she didn't end up wearing it.
"Elliot! What size did you order?"
"The large of course. I know how much you love this, and you deserved a treat."
Laughing, Olivia took a bite, but she couldn't help admonishing the man beside her gently.
"El, we're going to have banana pudding coming out of our ears."
"Not exactly what I'd do with it, but if that's what you're thinking, I'm game."
Olivia's cheeks flushed hot at the innuendo, even though she knew the last thing Elliot was expecting from her tonight – or any night, really – was sex.
"You are incorrigible"
"That's what they tell me."
Gathering a small amount of banana pudding on her spoon, Olivia extended her arm, perfectly placing the dollop on Elliot's nose.
"Serves you right."
"And here I thought you said we'd have it coming out of our ears."
Olivia gave an impish grin and shrugged her shoulders.
"Missed."
Elliot's eyes got their own glint in them and Olivia's own irises widened as she realized what was about to happen. She had just taken another bite of the scrumptious dessert, and she scooted back ever so slightly on the couch, raising an arm in an attempt to defend herself against what she perceived to be an oncoming onslaught.
"Elliot Stabler, don't you dare!"
"Oh, but you see, you started it."
With his own spoon already armed with a hefty amount of banana pudding, Elliot strategically set down the container on the coffee table, smirking at his partner as he inched closer. With one quick movement, he smeared the spoon across Olivia's upper lip, then descended just as quickly to follow with his own mouth, capturing her lips with a kiss that had her responding by wrapping both arms around his neck.
When they separated, Elliot wordlessly checked in with Olivia, briefly concerned that he may have gone too far, but he needn't have worried. She was more than grateful for the playfulness that he had shown her, and in not having treated her like was fragile, despite her earlier melancholy mood.
"Did you want any more of the pudding, Liv?"
"No, thank you. I know I said it once before, but I truly mean it now, I can't eat another bite. I do look forward to enjoying more tomorrow, though."
Elliot put away the last of their dessert, and they finished watching the one episode that they still had to finish. After, he knew not to push Olivia any more. What he wasn't sure of, is if his presence would still be be welcome, or if she'd prefer to be on her own for the rest of the night. Thankfully, they were so in tune with one another, that he didn't need to worry about asking. Plus, there was their earlier pact about going to breakfast together the following morning that he needed to follow through with.
"El, if it's not a problem, can you stay tonight? I don't want to be alone. Plus, you did promise to take me to breakfast tomorrow before my EMDR therapy. But, if you have to get to OC early, I'll understand."
"Of course I can stay. If you'll remember, you're also stuck with me for the weekend, too, if you still want that."
"Absolutely."
Elliot pulled Olivia closer to his body in a side hug, and brushed a kiss against her temple.
"Why don't you go and get ready for bed while I take care of everything out here? I'll meet you in your room in a few minutes. If you want, you can maybe pick out one of your favorite audio books or something to fall asleep to? If I know you, you're not going to want the stimulation of the television any more tonight, but you're not wanting quiet, either."
"You're absolutely right about that."
Olivia stood up, letting the blanket fall away. She padded down the hall toward her room, secure in the knowledge that Elliot would follow all her nighttime rituals of locking up her apartment and setting all the alarm codes. There was no one else she would trust more with her safety in that regard.
In the master bath, she went through her bedtime routine, washing her face, and applying lotion and beauty serums, plus brushing flossing her teeth. Then as she made her way back into the bedroom and around to what was becoming 'her' side of the bed when she and Elliot shared, she pulled back the covers and picked up her tablet. Scrolling through her selection of audio books, she knew just what one she was going to pick.
Not that long ago, it might be a difficult choice, but now, this would be a source of comfort for them both. There was only one thing that Olivia wished, not just for this novel in particular, but for several on her reading list – and that was that the voice of the narrator would belong to her partner, and not whatever random celebrity had elected to read the words on the page. Unaware that she had spoken that particular desire out loud, Olivia jumped in surprise and felt her cheeks flush when Elliot spoke.
"Just say the word, Liv, and I can make that happen. Let me find whatever books you want, some audio files, and a spare weekend, and I'll record as many as you like for you."
God, she loved this man. There were still times when she felt like she didn't deserve him, that this wasn't real at all. That it was still somehow a figment of her imagination. That the Elliot who was finally showing up for her when she needed him was actually real. Yes, he could still be a jealous idiot at times – but he was her jealous idiot. They were both learning together how to work this open communication thing, and actually getting quite good at it.
"Thank you, El."
"You don't have to thank me."
"No, not for the book offer – though I love you for it."
Olivia moved closer to where Elliot was now laying beside her in bed, resting her head against his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. He held her in turn, not saying anything in reply, knowing instinctively that she hadn't finished voicing her thoughts.
"You showed up for me exactly when I needed you. Not just in helping with the case and giving us the information we needed, but helping me. If I'd been alone after Noah left today, I'd likely have come straight to bed and shut myself away - and you know that as well as I do. When I walked in and saw that you were here, I knew that everything was going to be okay."
Elliot pressed a kiss to the crown of Olivia's head.
"Like I said when you got home today, I could hear in your voice when you called me the other day and said that 'things are maybe not that great' that you weren't doing okay. But I knew if I came then, you wouldn't be ready. But I couldn't stay away indefinitely. I made that mistake once, and I'm still regretting it."
"El, don't go there, not tonight."
Elliot sniffed, and pressed another kiss to Olivia's head.
"My point is, I'm never leaving you again. Not when you need me. Just like you won't leave me when I need you."
"That's what I'm trying to say, El. Things were maybe not that great. But you're here now. So I know everything's going to be okay. I've got my partner to take care of me. And vice versa. I can sleep safe tonight."
Olivia was right. That's exactly what they did. With the tale of The Count of Monte Cristo being told as they both drifted off, Olivia and Elliot held each other close, knowing nothing would harm the other as long as they had one another.