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It was not every day that Alexander Lightwood didn’t know what to do with his life. Actually, this might have been a first. Clearly following in his own believes didn’t necessarily mean that he knew what he was doing. On the contrary, he had never felt more lost.
But Jace going off with Valentine, losing the Mortal Cup to that same lunatic, declaring in front of everyone he knew that he wasn’t actually who they thought he were, standing up to his parents and no longer being simply the obedient son … well, all this had finally managed to bring down even his unshakable resolve. Or as it had really turned out, it hadn’t been that unshakable to begin with.
Alec had to bitterly admit that in a way he envied his past self. He had been so closed off and so deep in denial that it had actually made life simpler. Unhappy but simpler. Do what you are told. Follow the rules. Don’t disappoint your parents. Take care of your siblings. Be a reliable leader. It had been like reading from a manual. Just follow the instructions and don’t try to be all that creative. The perfect recipe for an ulcer and no self-doubt.
Would he want to revert back to being that same man if given the chance? Not in a million years.
Life had never been more complicated than it was now and Alec had never been as full of questions as he was at the moment but suddenly not knowing all the answers didn’t seem like the nightmare it had been before. It was still damn scary but not as petrifying.
Sometimes he didn’t feel worthy to be the person people expected him to be. Sometimes the weight of responsibilities seemed so heavy that it was almost crushing. Sometimes he wanted to run away from everything and think of nothing but himself. But looking at the warm chocolate eyes of a man who saw in him something that even he himself couldn’t, made him want to be better than he had ever been. And for one selfish, private moment Alec didn’t want anything to change if it would mean that he would always have those eyes locked on him filled with awe, mischief and something more that he wasn’t ready yet to name.
“Alexander, I am merely suggesting taking a single day off to recuperate. I am not asking you to elope to Aruba and never return. There is no need to look so constipated while telling me no.”
Alec snapped out of his existential musings and fought the incoming blush. He had been starring at the man, gaping like a fish for entirely too long to be appropriate. His attempt to fight off embarrassment wasn’t very successful but at least he managed to stop himself from stammering like a complete idiot. Of course this didn’t help at all in the long run. The bottom line was that he had not even been able to answer one simple question.
It was a miracle that Magnus didn’t think there was something wrong with him at this point. It was also a small relief that Magnus seemed to find Alec’s inability to interact like a normal human being with him ‘cute’ as he himself had put it.
While not being able to associate this word with himself in any dimension, Alec had a different theory. He was a step away from thinking that he was under some sort of spell from the ridiculous way he was acting around the warlock all the time. It was wishful thinking of course but a man had to take care of his pride one way or another.
“No, this is not what I am saying.” The shadowhunter ran his hand through his raven hair thinking how best to convey this. “I mean, I don’t know if it’s appropriate with everything that’s been going on. Going to the beach seems so …”
“Normal?” Magnus’s smile was kind and understanding. Alec just gave a stiff nod feeling his throat tighten from the emotions welling inside him.
“But that’s exactly why you have to let yourself do it Alec. Life can’t be put on hold because things you can’t control are spinning out of line. Take it from someone who’s seen time fly. You are not getting those days back.”
The tang of bitterness that came with those words made Alec hurt in a way he had only ever felt about his siblings. Hurt for the man before him and whatever shadows of the past were still darkening his days. Magnus was speaking from personal experience. From years and years of deeds done and others simply forgotten. And Alec felt utterly powerless to ease any of that pain. He had no idea how to help himself let alone a timeless being like the man before him. Once again the feeling of inadequacy was creeping up his chest. What could Magnus possibly see in him?
“I know that I can’t put my life on hold because of this. Or more like, I know that I shouldn’t. It’s just … I don’t know how.” It was hard to admit but Alec knew it was for the best. He knew it the moment Magnus’s eyes twinkled with magic and conviction the shadowhunter did not have.
“Then let me help.”
As if Alec could ever say no to that magnetic smile.
***
It was not every day that Alexander Lightwood didn’t know what to do with his life. Recently it was happening more often than he cared to admit.
It was not like he didn’t know what the beach was like. He had been there before. Just not for the reason regular people usually went. Unless of course hunting demons was why they went there. If this was the case then he had seen it exactly in the same way as everyone else. Taking a look at his family though he kind of doubted that was the regular notion.
But today it had nothing to do with demon hunting. His bow was at the institute and he only had a seraph blade tucked safe deep in his bag. He had no gloves, no booths, no quiver, just simple pants and a grey tank-top. He had to admit that it made him feel naked in a way. His fighting clothes were more than armor for his body and he hated the feeling of how dependent he seemed to have gotten on them.
Isabelle had forbidden him from wearing black to the beach so he had had to fish out the only clothes he had which were in another color. So grey it was. He didn’t really like it. He thought it made him seem even paler than he was but he couldn’t admit that he had spent at least twenty minutes in front of the mirror starring at himself and looking for features which might seem appealing to a certain charismatic warlock. He couldn’t say that he had found all that many. But it had been a lost cause to begin with.
He knew that a faded tank-top was hardly the thing that could change that. He was not one for false hope and yet he had still chosen to wear his better jeans. The knowing smirk on Izabelle’s face still made him flush all the way to the roots of his hair.
Speaking of Isabelle, once he had agreed to the idea to simply take a day off and rest, it had somehow grown into everyone going to the beach. Obviously the place was associated with rest for some reason. Alec didn’t really get why that was so but he had learned a long time ago not to argue about such things. It usually ended with him losing to whatever crazy idea Jace or Izzy were excited about at the moment.
So already running enthusiastically towards the water was his little brother Max, Isabelle and Clary were a bit behind him and Luke and Jocelyn were still getting some things from the car. Why they needed to bring so many bags was beyond Alec.
Simon wasn’t here for obvious sunny reasons and Alec would never admit it but he would actually miss the idiot’s ranting about whatever incessant thing was occupying his short attention span at the moment. He had that special talent of filling in awkward silences which the shadowhunter mastered at producing.
Of course considering the fact that it was Magnus who chose it, it was no regular beach. It was the private property of someone who owned him a favor and they were all commandeering it for the day. It was pretty barren but secluded and had an amazing view of the ocean.
The shadowhunter had never been much of a connoisseur of private, rare and exquisite things but even he had to admit that there was a certain charm to the place, a sense of peacefulness and freedom. Much like the man who had chosen it.
Speaking of whom Magnus was already supposed to be here. Taking a good look around Alec already had a pretty good idea where he could find the warlock. On the right side there was a small but pretty impressive structure which had the words “Magnus’s Bar” on top of it with sparkling, glowing letters which could be nothing else but magic. Just below it there was a long banner which read “Kisses equal free cocktails!”
Alec hadn’t even noticed the involuntary smile that had spread on his face. The whole place was so Magnus that it was kind of endearing. And Alec didn’t even know he had the word endearing in his tough, shadowhunter dictionary.
Everyone was already throwing towels and beach-balls around the place but since Alec was loaded with three bags and two umbrellas he aimed towards the center where he supposed all their stuff needed to be. He had to shake his head good-naturedly when he passed by his little brother who was already digging a hole in the sand for some reason. It was one of those rare moments when Max was acting like the little kid he was and Alec couldn’t help but cherish it. There were always so many serious things to discuss that sometimes everyone seemed to forget that children still had to be children and had their needs too.
It took him a few minutes and a few obscenities but he did manage to put up the two big umbrellas. He had already discarded his tank-top and was brushing sweat away from his forehead when his shadowhunter instincts felt a presence behind him.
“You do know I have magic for that, right?”
Alec couldn’t fight back the smile that spread on his face. This particular line was starting to turn into their own personal joke and the thought that he and Magnus shared anything that was just between the two of them made him giddy in a most disturbing way. And that was quite an unfamiliar feeling for him that he did not know yet how to process.
“Well, I wouldn’t be much of a demon hunter if I can’t manage to put up two umre-“
Now here was a problem Alec hadn’t really considered. And for someone who worried about things all the time that was quite a feat. One might think that after his coming out of his shadowy closet he might have opened up a bit more to the world and started to think about … stuff. Couple’s stuff. Intimate stuff. Dating stuff and eventually of course naked stuff.
But no, once again Alexander Lightwood was caught in the dark by his own inexperience and inability to start thinking just a bit more about himself. Because not once after he had said yes to the beach thing had he thought what else that would entail.
Endless expanse of soft caramel skin unraveled before him like the unveiling of a most exotic fruit, pebbled brown nipples which had no right to be anything more but a set of man’s nipples looked so erotic that it bordered on obscene, smooth, impossibly long legs with manicured bare feet were just as exposed and just as mesmerizing. Magnus Bane was standing in front of him in simple black swim trunks and looking like every fantasy Alec didn’t even know he had.
There were of course still some fashionable wooden necklaces wound around the warlock’s neck which swayed down all the way to his taunt stomach and brushed his nipples in the most distracting way. He wore a big straw hat which might have been a sombrero and a dazzling smile on a face with very light make-up. He was breathtaking.
“Should I take the stunned silence as a compliment or should I be worried that you are having a sun-stroke after taking a day off the shadowy world? You are indeed worryingly pale Alexander.”
“I … no … I … just ... you … “
Alec stopped himself from embarrassing himself any further and locked his eyes on the ground, cheeks burning, heart suddenly galloping in his chest. He missed Magnus’s pleased smile but the soft laugh of the man managed to pull his eyes up.
“Then I’m flattered.” He made a light bow and gently caught Alec’s chin to pull up his still tilted head and lock their eyes. “I too had some pretty unseemly motives for asking you here after all. But I am more than pleased to know we’re even.”
And those burning ebony eyes slid up and down Alec’s naked chest and he almost felt them like a physical caress. He flushed so hard he feared he might get a tan from it.
It was not every day that Alexander Lightwood didn’t know what to do with his life. He just knew today was going to be one of those days.
***
Corresponding to everyone’s mood the day was not just fun and games.
Clary spent a lot of time with her mother just sitting under the umbrella and talking with her quietly. Izzy spent a lot of time in the water just doing lengths even though it was pretty cold. Alec knew it was her way to blow off steam without actually having to blow something up. Surprisingly Luke and Magnus also spent quite a lot of time together, pouring over old memories of valuable connections and lost secrets. Both of course with a drink in hand. A traitorous image passed through Alec’s head of Luke kissing Magnus for his cocktail and the shadowhunter was more unnerved with how disturbing he found it than anything else.
Alec himself spent a lot of time just looking at the ocean and letting its peaceful sounds calm some of the storms in his head. It was not just his worry about Jace that needed calming. He had almost burst into flames from embarrassment when Magnus had handed him over a cocktail and Alec had spilled it all over himself when the man had aligned their cheeks for a peck.
One might think that kissing the man on the mouth in front of an entire hall of people should have ranked higher when it came to being embarrassed but that moment from the wedding was like a dream in Alec’s head and could barely count as solid experience. Now every choice was conscious and thus terrifying or uncontrollably exciting. He wished his shadowhunter reflexes weren’t absolutely nullified when he was in the other man’s presence. Sometimes his flailing bordered on ridiculous.
“Are you still dejected about that drink? It’s not like I am a fan of spilling good alcohol but you do know I have an endless supply of that, right?”
“Yeah, well, still, it wasn’t very cool.”
“My dear Alexander, we are not twelve. This is not how I measure who is cool and who isn’t. Besides, I got to see you flushed, panicked and drenched in rum. I have it on good authority that this is a fine material for some very delicious fantasies. I call it a win-win situation. But for the sake of preserving your dignity would it make you feel better if we got even?”
“I don’t think there is anyone in this world who can make you spill your drink Magnus, let alone I.”
Even though Magnus’s answering laughter was kind of at his expense, its warmth spread over Alec like another ray of sunshine and he was smiling back before he even knew it.
***
The afternoon was turning out a bit more vigorous. Magnus magicked a net with a hypnotizing wave of his hands and very soon Alec and Izzy were taking on Clary and Luke in a game of beach ball. For such a small thing Clary was surprisingly good at it though Isabelle wasn’t backing down one bit. The two girls were so competitive that soon the werewolf and the shadowhunter were simply trying to catch up to them.
When Alec asked Magnus if he would like to join them the warlock’s pearly laughter echoed in the clearing. He wiped at his twinkling eyes, saluted Alec with his cocktail and simply took a more comfortable position on his extravagant lounge.
“Alexander, I would pay in rubies to be able to enjoy the view before me.” And his eyes sensually slid up and down the shadowhunter’s glistening shoulders and panting chest. “I am not moving from my place even if a tsunami is on its way towards us.”
As it usually happened with Alec when faced with Magnus’s burning eyes he first blushed crimson, then stuttered and in the end resigned himself to simply wave the words off with a shake of his head to save himself from having to actually give a proper answer.
He would admit it over his grave but he might have jumped an extra bit higher and flexed his muscles just a tad bit more often for the rest of the game while feeling Magnus’s eyes on his overheated body.
***
When the games were over Alec found himself taking a walk around the beachline with Magnus. The warlock was casually sucking on an icy popsicle while they talked about nothing in particular and yet the shadowhunter managed to flush twice and forget his words three times in the encounter. He was getting better at it. Truly. But this was not how you ate a popsicle. Not if Alec was expected to retain a reasonable thought process in the meantime.
He was starting to learn that honesty could be rewarding when done with the right person but he was a million years away from ready to tell Magnus that the way he swirled his tongue around the frozen treat caused thousands of little explosions in Alec’s mind, not to mention what it did to the boiling blood pooling down towards his straining shorts.
But he could always start with something easier than admitting that. It would also distract him for a bit. The moment he thought that he realized he had been starring at a drop of sweat which was slowly trailing down Magnus’s neck and going down his toned chest. He snapped his head to the side so fast he almost made himself sick.
“I am glad we came. Everyone kind of needed a day off from the doom and gloom that are our lives at the moment.” It was true. Those weren’t just empty words to fill the silence. Yeah it wasn’t all bright and happy but none of them felt any of that at the moment so it kind of was the next best thing.
“And I am glad you allowed me to be a part of it.” Magnus’s smile was small but full of feeling and Alec realized that it probably wasn’t very often that the high warlock of Brooklyn was invited to family gatherings. Huge parties yes. But small and private events where he could feel part of a family – probably not.
“It wouldn’t have been much of a day off without you Magnus.” Any day without you is not worth it! Was what Alec really wanted to say but his throat felt a bit too tight from all the emotions that admission brought up.
Without realizing they had stopped walking. Facing each other they were suddenly standing silent, so very close to each other that Alec realized he was holding his breath. Magnus was still looking at him with those soft chocolate eyes, with so much raw emotion like that very first time when the warlock had admitted that Alec had unlocked something in him.
Back then it had baffled Alec to a point where he had no idea what to do with the admission. Now it made his stomach twist and flutter even though his mind still refused to believe that anyone could ever look at him like that. But there it was. In the face of one of the most spectacular person Alec had ever laid eyes upon and it was as amazing now as it had been the first time.
Magnus blinked and looked away as if coming out of a dream himself. His mouth moved, he was saying something but Alec couldn’t tell what it was for the life of him. His eyes were locked on Magnus’s lips which were full, pink, a little glossy and impossibly inviting. He was leaning towards them without even thinking.
A sudden gust of strong wind hit their overheated bodies and took them by surprise. The warlock’s extravagant hat flew off into the water in one big leap. Alec instinctively turned to catch it and with one big, careless step found himself diving nose-first into the ocean. The hat though - safely in his grip.
He sprung up, wet hair falling into blinking eyes, teeth clattering from the sudden shock of cold water and Magnus’s honeyed laughter in his ringing ears. He had been counting the times he had felt embarrassed today and had reached up to seven. He thought this one glorious occasion could be counted as two. He could probably aim for a world record at this point. Oh the little joys of being so inadequate.
He crawled out with as much dignity as staggering on an uneven ocean floor allowed him while Magnus continued to laugh in this gentle way of his which just couldn’t make you mad at him. Alec still refused to look the warlock in the eyes while the other gently took him by the hand (still hiccupping behind his palm) and led him towards their umbrellas.
“Let’s get you dried up Ariel. The human world is a dangerous place. We don’t want you catching a cold.”
Alec grumbled something under his nose and refused to admit that he found both the analogy funny and the idea that he could get sick from something as ridiculous as this quite hilarious.
He plopped himself on his towel in a not very graceful manner. His dignity still hurt along with his knees. He had obviously managed to scrape them on the sand. Of course he wouldn’t even glance twice at such a superficial injury so he directed his attention to the only thing which might bring some points in his favor after the little fiasco he had just cooked up. He held up Magnus’s hat which was still firmly in his grip.
The man who had just pulled up a dry towel looked a bit surprised to see it when it was suddenly thrust towards him. He stared at it for a second then his eyes slid back to Alec and he dropped the towel in the shadowhunter’s lap. Without saying a word Magnus put his hands over his heart and tilted his head to the side taking a good look at the dripping shadowhunter. His eyes seemed to pierce right through Alec’s fake indifference and the young man found himself flushing yet again. It was becoming a permanent thing.
“My valiant hero!” The warlock finally broke the silence. He was still starring intently at Alec while biting his lip and the young man couldn’t for the life of him tell what could possibly Magnus see in him to bring that look to his eyes. His voice was like smoke and creamy chocolate when he continued. “But you know what? Now you are wet and panting and I am not a nice enough person not to take advantage of that.”
And while still blinking droplets out of his lids and trying not to show how conscious he was of those timeless eyes upon him, Alec saw a mirage of two glossy lips falling over his.
Magnus’s mouth, still cool and wet from the icy popsicle, felt sweet, burning and absolutely electrifying. Alec could only gasp and visibly shudder when it moved over his, a pliant tongue gently dipping in between and brushing with his own. The kiss was slow, almost reverent and entirely too short.
But if Alec had known what it would be like to open his eyes afterwards he probably wouldn’t have done it. Because he wasn’t ready for the sight before him. He didn’t think he would ever be. But if a day came when such a sight didn’t make his heart want to burst out of his chest, then he supposed that would be a day he would be long dead.
Magnus was on his knees, sill leaning slightly towards him. His bronze nipples were almost at Alec’s eye level, his delicate wooden necklaces hanging from his neck and swaying gently between them, lightly brushing Alec’s chest, sending shivers and goose bumps all over his body.
But most of all it was Magnus’s face which was still just centimeters away that made Alec’s brain screech to a halt. The warlock still had his coal-rimmed eyes closed, quiet bliss written all over it while his devilish tongue slowly traced his glistening lips from one end to the other. And when he was finally done he gave out the most decadent sound Alexander Lightwood had heard in his entire life. It was between a purr and a moan, low and guttural. Alec felt it reverberate inside him and alight nerve endings he didn’t even know existed.
“Mmm what a treat. Thank you for rescuing my hat Alexander. From this day on it will bring me the most exquisite of memories. I will treasure it forever.”
With one last shameless wink, Magnus took his hat and headed towards the rest of the party as if he had not just shaken one lone shadowhunter’s world.
Alec was stunned, visibly panting and so hard that for a moment even the icy water didn’t seem like something which could help him with that. The only thing that had preserved some of his dignity was the dropped towel in his lap which was mostly hiding his painful arousal.
He watched Magnus’s sultry back while the man casually headed for the open bar, his hips swaying and his skin glistening and Alec was a breath away from shouting at him to come back and just freaking do something.
The moment Alec imagined what that something had to be like he flushed so hard that almost all tiny droplets of residual water evaporated from his pale skin. He had to stifle a moan when an involuntary fantasy invaded his delirious mind. A fantasy of dragging lips and teeth over caramel soft skin, slick and burning hot, of tasting its sweetness on his greedy tongue. Of covering a delectable body with his own and pressing it down to the sand where it would mold with his and yield to his every desire. Of feeling hot, tight heat envelop a part of him that was physically arching and on the verge of bursting from the imagery itself.
Alec stood up so suddenly that he knocked up all the umbrellas along with the pile of beach bags. Next thing he was running towards the ocean with a speed only the use of few runes could supply and the haunting images of heat and touch were still burning him from the inside.
For a moment he might have heard his family playfully call him before their voices died under the gushing water.
It was not every day that Alexander Lightwood didn’t know what to do with his life. Today for instance he had to learn how to look Magnus Bane in the eyes again and not burst into flames.
Somehow Alec thought, no amount of lengths in the cold ocean would help with that.
~The End ~