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I’m an idiot.
I can’t believe that I am so oblivious as to my feelings for Hearthstone.
It all makes perfect sense now— constant blushing, always wanting to be around him, being sad when he wasn’t around him.
Gods.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
And now when I’m around him… fuck, I always just want to kiss him silly. Which is stupid, because he’d never fall in love with me. Who would? I’m a short, ugly dwarf who is terrible at flirting and has never kissed anyone in my life.
I mean, don’t get me wrong— I’ve WANTED to kiss someone, I just never have. I always knew I was gay— it’s kind of obvious. In school as a kid, word got around. I was the weird Black gay boy who was always drawing outfits on worksheets. Being obsessed with fashion did not help the allegations.
It sucked when everyone found out. Lots of them just ignored me, but others bullied me mercilessly.
Dad tried his best to comfort me, but he didn’t know how. It was rough.
It’s not okay to be gay. You’ve gotta like women if you’re a man; you’ve gotta like men if you’re a woman. Simple. Easy. Done.
Except it’s not simple, because I like men. I’m such a weirdo and I hate myself.
I guess I fell for Hearthstone when I met him. I just… didn’t know. And here I am, lying in my bed after being unpetrified, knowing that Hearth is in the tanning bed down the hallway.
It’s quiet in my room, and that is NOT good. That means I’m left alone with my own thoughts.
Shit.
I hear the padding of footsteps in the hall, and I wonder if Hearth has gotten up for the bathroom.
But my door opens, and he peeks inside.
I shoot up in my bed. Fuck. He’s in my room.
Well, he’s been in my room before, but this is different.
He’s.
In.
My.
Room.
And I’m in love with him.
His hair is tousled up, and he’s wearing black flannel pajama pants, and a black shirt. He looks so adorable and I want to run over and leap into his arms and kiss him silly.
He steps inside— he’s in my room, I repeat: he’s in my room— and shuts the door. ‘Hi,’ he signs shyly.
“Hey, buddy,” I say with a fake yawn, hoping it makes him think I was asleep.
It doesn’t.
‘Don’t pretend like you were asleep,’ Hearth signs dryly.
I blush. “What’s up?”
‘Nightmare,’ he signs.
Anger washes over me. This wonderful, perfect, beautiful elf still has terrible nightmares from his childhood because of his dumbass parents.
“Are you okay?”
He shrugs. ‘Can I sleep in here with you?’
I feel myself blush fiercely. He’s going to sleep. In. My. Bed.
Shit. Shit times one thousand.
Again, we’ve slept together before. This shouldn’t be a big deal.
But it is.
It is.
“Sure,” I squeak.
He smiles— a beautiful, wonderful sight— and slips into the bed next to me, under the covers.
‘I’m cold,’ he signs. ‘You’re warm.’
“So?”
‘So come here, you dummy,’ Hearth signs.
I blush so hard that I’m surprised I haven’t turned into a tomato.
I scoot a little closer, but Hearthstone decides that’s not enough, so he wraps his arms around me and pulls himself into me, forehead against my Adam’s apple, face in my collarbone.
I can’t tell where I end and where he begins. It’s like we’ve molded together. We fit together so perfectly it makes my chest ache.
I let myself relax. He lets out a tiny, adorable, content sigh and snuggles closer. He says something silently against my collarbone, and I wish I could know what he said.
I fall asleep a little bit after that, content in my elf’s arms.
When I wake up the next morning, he’s still there, but we have to go meet Magnus and Sam. I shake him awake and make some breakfast.
When he stumbles out of my room, fully dressed, I pass him some toast and run to my closet. I finally decide on a navy three-piece suit, and when I walk out, I see Hearth freeze.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
‘You look cute,’ he signs, then stares at his hands like they betrayed him.
I’m frozen in place.
HE CALLED ME CUTE. CUTE.
This is uncharted territory.
‘Blitz,’ he signs, ‘ I’ve got to tell you something.’
“Okay,” i squeak.
He hesitates, then signs, ‘I love you.’
I feel my breath catch in my throat, but I know what I have to do.
I kiss him.
I kiss him sweetly because I have no idea how to do this, and I suspect he has no idea how to, either.
But it’s amazing.
The end!