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Watching the scene in front of him, Tim couldn’t instantly say what had him uneasy with it. Why there was something that felt a lot like dread gathering in his veins. Especially not, since it was such a mundane thing he was watching. Or it slowly had morphed into something mundane and ordinary over the last months.
Dick was greeting the freshly arrived Jason with the same bright smile that had been shown to Tim a bit earlier. And after a bit forth and back, was telling Jason the same story about Nightwings latest patrol that he just told Tim minutes before. Only that instead of listening attentively and interrupting the flow with his own questions, Jason only nodded and grunted from time to time. To show that he listened and hadn’t mentally checked out, as it often appeared to be the way in the beginning.
Might just be, that Jason finally accepted that it didn’t make any difference anyway. Which would probably be a good guess, until Dick came to the end of his story, with the bad guys being zipped up and left for the police to find as Jason surprisingly decided to engage with the whole, so far, one sided conversation.
“Was that the same group we talked about last week?”
Unlike Tim, Dick doesn’t seem surprised by the question at all. Instead shoves his shoulder playfully into Jasons side, an act that gets no retaliation besides exasperatedly rolled eyes. “No worries there, Jay. I kept those on the backburner for you.”
Tim recognizes that his face does something. Probably frowning. Nightwing, notorious possessively lone fighter over Blüdhaven kept some bad guys on the backburner for Jason? For Red Hood? That doesn’t sound right. Or, does it?
Jason, sans helmet, that he left hanging on the handle of his bike, nods. Even shows a smile that isn’t instantly pegged as sarcastic. “Appreciate it, Wing. I really want to see that case to its end.”
“Of course!”, Dick chirps completely unconcerned. As if it were a total normal and usual thing that they both work together about something that hasn’t at least one of them halfway bleeding out beforehand. Tim watches Dicks hand waving through the air, in a throwaway gesture. “Just keep in mind that I wouldn’t mind bringing that to an end rather sooner than later.”
“Does the night after tomorrow work for you?”, Jason casually leans against the wall, his eyes thoughtful. “I had some intel about an impending weapons deal for tomorrow that I at least want to check out.”
Dick copies him effortlessly and for a moment they appear to be cut off from the rest. As if they aren’t standing in obvious hearing range and aren’t talking with their normal voices. Tim shakes his head over his own thoughts, but still eyes them. As they lean against the wall, facing each other and are just talking about their respective nightlifes. Not even Bruce, who just joins them, coming from the changing room, does seem to notice anything strange about it. Probably because there isn’t anything there. Strange that is. It’s what they all wanted. Jason being there with them, without being antagonistic. Just another member of the team. The family.
Tim still can’t shake the picture for the whole night. Can’t stop thinking about them, just talking. And so easily too. At ease with each other. In personal space and about talking possible tactics to get ‘these guys’ in Blüdhaven. Without Jason getting all defensive as Dick points out a possible flaw in his wanted approach. Instead nodding to the changed idea that the older man suggests. Even admitting that it might be the better route and that they should meet up at least an hour before the OP to go over it again.
He tries to exchange a look with Bruce, or even Damian, but both of them are looking at something at the batcomputer. Completely ignoring Jason and Dick, after the first exchanged greeting.
It might be that moment that Tim realizes that it had somehow become normal to see Jason in the cave. To have him here at the start of the night. Enough that not even Damian interferes in their talk, in some misguided attempt to save Richard.
Why hadn’t he noticed that before? Had he been too deep into research again?
Or maybe, a seldom heard voice in his head points out, he himself still wasn’t all that convinced about Jason being here? Like this? Like he is back with them? Fully?
He likes to think himself the better person after all. He had been fine with the others still reaching out to Jason, even after he got beat up. (Somewhat. If he were honest to himself, he would have to admit that it probably was a lot more psychological to him then anything else. Looking back, there was no way that Jason didn’t hold back. Or simply thought Tim so much beneath him, that Tim hadn’t even earned that kind of damage to his body.)
That night stays with him for a few days, especially since Dick tells him about the takedown as they meet up for coffee. But since Jason drops off the earth for another mission with the Outlaws soon afterwards, it didn’t get much more real attention from him. Just an outlier. Jason might be more friendly now, but he was still the verbatim lone wolf.
Or that is what he likes to think, until he invites himself into Titans tower a few weeks later, over a short teleport via zeta, to bring some files over that Dick wanted him to look into. All the noise would indicate that they are in the big kitchen that somehow deals as an informal social hub to meet up.
Tim is being instantly made out and greeted brightly by Dick, who jumps from the table he just sat on and comes over to put his arm on his shoulders for an extra non verbal greeting. Which is something that always warms Tim. As it reminds him about his own importance in Dicks life. As the wanted little brother. (As unfair that thought might be. Sue him.)
If only his roaming eyes wouldn’t land on a nonchalantly sitting and eating Jason, who nods from time to time to something that Wally explains to him, with a lot of hand waving. Tim blinks. The image doesn’t vanish. There is Red Hood sitting in civilian clothes sitting between the Titans. Eating. Listening to them. From the look of it, being completely at ease with them and being there. And, to Tims even greater surprise, them too.
Sure, he isn’t surprised about Kori and Roy, who are bickering over something that simmers in a big pot on the oven. But Wally? Victor, who is actually eating the same kind of stew as Jason, is watching them. Shoulders relaxed, legs winkled and one arm on the table, gathered around his food. There is Donna wo is still sitting on the table, who just offers her own two cents and grins brightly as Wally looks appalled.
They are all here. The Titans. The first hero group that had Nightwing as their leader as teens, before they got to be what they are now. Heroes. The kind of beings that Tim hopes him and his friends can reach and be too one day.
Seeing Jason here, sitting between them, as if he was fully accepted. As if he had always been there. As if it were his somehow born right, to be here.. it throws Tim, even as he tries to smile at Dick, who pulls him closer to the rest. They all greet him friendly enough. Even Jason, who glances at him before waving two fingers and going back to his food.
“You could have just mailed the information. I know you have already enough work on your plate.” Dick chides gently, having let go of him and jumped back on the table, beside Donna.
“It’s fine. I knew you would want that and I could use a break.” He tries for a smile and he knows that Dick would put the half grimace down to his supposed tiredness. In truth he is still reeling. Hadn’t they been told that Jason had been on another mission? But with Roy and Kori being here too, maybe it just ended and they.. decided to take a pitstop here?
Kori, who just wanders over and gives him one of her beautiful and friendly smiles before putting another plate in front of Wally. “Hello Red Robin. It has been a while. Do you want to eat with us?”
Tim can’t answer, before Dick huffs out a chuckle. “The little bird needs sleep and not food.” The place where Dicks arm had just been and felt so warm in its weight, does suddenly feel cold. “I can see the dark circles, even with the mask.” His big brother points out and Tim knows that he would fight a losing battle on that front. He does need sleep. But now, standing here, in between them and not being included instantly. It is.. something.
They are all friendly enough. Would even include him in their meal. But not only Dicks well meaning words could muddle it: Tim isn’t a Titan and they handle him like every other nice guest. Tim isn’t one of them.
But then why? He glances back to Jason, who by now was shoved further along the bench by Roy without further ado and without exploding violence beside a long suffering sigh. Who looks like one of them. Who looks like he belongs here. In between. With the team that his big brother leads and calls his best and closest friends.
“Tim?” Dick asks, this time there is some concern in his voice. “You look a bit pale. Maybe you should eat something before you head back.”
Because that is how it would happen anyway. He would get food, would talk to them and they would be welcoming him with open arms. If not for him personally, than at the very least because he is Nightwings little brother. But then? There would be lovely goodbyes, and Dick would promise another activity for them soon and actually follow through with it. Being his caring and admired big brother.
Only to come back here or to Blüdhaven afterwards. Here, to where it doesn’t look as if they plan to politely bring up a time when Jason must leave. Or in Blüdhaven, where Dick now has OP’s that include Jason.
The former Crime Lord. The guy that severed heads and killed without a second thought. The guy that wanted Bruce to kill the Joker so badly that he had been prepared to blow them all up together, just to get his way. The guy that shot at all of them. That guy that stretched every single rule that he had been given and had the most fun when he could sow chaos all around him.
He shakes his head and uses all his willpower to look away from Jason and back to his brother. “I am fine. Really. Just wanted a bit of a wallpaper change.”
Dick snorts at that and grins at him. “The cave not being colorful enough for you anymore?”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
They exchange some words and then he is on his way. Back to the cave. To his cases and research. While Jason stays there. With the Titans. With a team that his brother never made any noises about Tim joining them. Instead praising him for building up his own team and making his own experiences. Which had been perfect and made him feel special and good.
Until now.
Until he looked at something that never crossed his mind before, but now appears to be a closed off pathway. One he hadn’t known he wanted. Or needed.
There hadn’t been any clues either for him to pick up. That something had changed. Nothing in Dicks and his relationship is different from before, as far as he can tell. (And he did go through weeks of their interactions as he was lying in his bed unable to sleep that night.) His brother had been there for him, just like always. Had been there for him, with an open ear for all his worries and triumphs. Tim should be happy. About being accepted as he is. About still having everything he ever wanted.
But then why can’t he forget the way Jason had been integrated into that tight knitted group?
Tim finds himself in a state of hyperawareness over the next weeks and the cold feeling in his veins gets worse. It’s not only Dick, even if his big brother is the one closest to Jason now, its practically everyone in the family.
There are little insider jokes that he (and to stay honest, most of the others too), has no chance to understand. They start with: “That reminds me a lot about..” and Dick jumping into it with excitement. “Oh my God! You are right! I thought we would never get out again.” A snort that is distorted through the helmet. “You and me both, big bird.”
It continues with them (and Babs out of all people!) ganging up on Bruce and showing Damian that some of his mean sounding grunts are actually the cover up for at least a smile. And no matter how growly Batman gets, Tim can see it. The hidden smile they are talking about. That they have seen long before Tim and Damian had been there.
But to his never-ending surprise, the ‘real bloodson’ appears to be fine the with new status quo. Instead asking for more details about missions that they fucked up, so he can make fun off them and show off his own superiority. Dick takes it with all the immunity he has always shown to the little spawn. Bruce, as so often before, seems to be content enough to let the others play at headless chicken. As long as Jason is involved it seems to be fair game until something really important comes up.
And Jason himself? He seems mostly amused with all the misshapes that he got into and brought Dick sometimes along for it. Pointing out that they didn’t have that good of a relationship to begin with and that it had been great to involve Dick into some of his shenanigans. Babs mostly points out some epic catch games over Gothams rooftops.
It drives Tim halfway insane. All those memories that are brought up and used to bond them now. That don’t include him. Can’t include him.
Even Jasons bitching about a Titans mission that he was included in, isn’t the ground for a real quarrel. For how easy and gracefully Dick gives in and takes responsibility for his own immaturity at the time. Jasons “Well, you did grow into it. So shut the fuck up and help me with this guy before I shoot him.” is the end of that discussion anyway.
As he tries to bring it up with Steph he finds her mightily unconcerned. “I mean”, she mused while taking a sip from her own hazelnut-latte, “Jason was with Bruce for a few years. Of course they have memories with each other. I would want to talk about them too, in their place.”
“He shouldn’t have that many memories with Dick. They barely saw each other.” He hadn’t been able to hold that in and earned a thoughtful look for it. Stephanie was a lot sharper than she let on and he had wished that he would have stayed silent.
“It’s a truth you will have to accept sooner or later, Tim. Jason has been here before any of us ever entered the stage. Second Robin and all that. The one that followed up the real deal.”
“And got himself killed for it.”
Tim still ducks his head, even thinking about the look she gave him for that.
“Tim, I love you as my geeky best friend, but you better never ever repeat that sentence anywhere where they can hear you. Jason didn’t die because he was a bad Robin. He died because an insane criminal got to him in a bid to hurt Batman.”
But Jason had come back as an insane criminal too, hadn’t he? But somehow that got ignored now. As the whole family opened their arms for him to welcome him back.
Into the spot that should have been Tims now.
How could Dick have brought a 14 year old Jason along with the Teen Titans but not him? Why is Jason just casually allowed into Blüdhaven for work, when even Tim knows that his brother likes to play these cards close to his chest? Why did change so much around him and it still feels like business as usual? As if nothing changed between Tim and Dick? And Bruce too, for that matter?
Why does Damian simply accept Jason? Especially since he only had vitriol for him before? What did Tim miss?
He jerks a bit in surprise as a heavy weight sits down beside him on the edge of the roof. He freezes as he notices that it is Red Hood. Who takes his helmet off, not even a domino mask under it. Still having no care about who sees his face, since he is still officially dead.
“Spit it out kid. Before you try to stab me in my sleep.”
It appears as if he couldn’t hide his mounting.. uneasiness around Jason. Which sucks. Majorly.
He shrugs, staring down to his dangling feet. “There is nothing to ‘spit out’.”
“Yeah, and I am Santa Claus' missing elf.”, Jason already sounds like his usual annoyed self. How can the others stand it?
“Jason, my world doesn’t evolve around you. Okay? Fuck off!” He shoots the other man a cold glance and freezes again as he starts laughing.
“Oh, that’s what it is? After all the talks about coming back, that you were involved in too I might add, now you notice that its not all Grand Central?” Jason sounds so amused. Tim wants to deck him in his ugly face.
“Don’t make yourself more important then you are. You are not the cause of all problems.” Even if he is spot on.
“Sure”, the man huffs out. “What is it? Did B forget to tuck you in? Or maybe Wing didn’t drop everything instantly for you once?”
“That’s not it!”, he claims, ignoring the heat that threatens to break out in his face. “It’s..”, he searches for words. “I am not replaced!”
There is a moment of silence before Jason sighs. “No, Tim. You are not.” There is a second that gives Tim hope. That Jason will say something about fucking off again. About..
“But the spot that I am in right now? That should have been mine from the beginning and I will not give it up again.” The bigger and taller man scrambles gracefully to his feet. “I told Wing that it would be a reality check for you and he didn’t believe me. Since nothing really changed for you. But you and me, we know better, don’t we?”
Tim can’t help it. He glances up and directly into the teal colored eyes that are Jasons now. They don’t appear to be mocking, but there is a seriousness to them. “Don’t let your jealousy eat you up. Wouldn’t do you much good anyway.” Jason looks away from him, over the other buildings and outward. “You will just have to get used to it. You are a middle child now.”
“That doesn’t make any sense”, he points out through gritted teeth. “If we go by that, you are one too.”
There is a sharp grin featured in Jasons expression. “I should be. But the truth is, that Dick pulled me in. He sees us both as big brother shaped to and for you guys. And that changes everything, doesn’t it?” The helmet is put back on again and Jason turns away. “Everybody always told me, that you didn’t replace me, so take my words with the very same sincerity: I didn’t replace you now either.” A little wave. “Later, Timmyboy.”
Tim can’t help but think that a sane Jason Todd is a lot more dangerous than he ever gave him credit for.