Work Text:
Frodo had half memories of being held by his mother, head resting on her shoulder, as she had sung him to sleep.
Sing all ye joyful, now sing all together!
The wind’s in the tree-top, the wind’s in the heather,
The stars are in blossom, the moon is in flower,
And bright are the windows of Night in her tower.
Half memories of being warm and safe and the smell of his mother’s hair and the feel of his father’s calloused hands as he had picked Frodo up and laid him down in bed, kissing his forehead as the firelight painted exciting shadows on the walls of their home.
Then they were gone and Frodo was alone in a house of relatives that didn’t want him, didn’t know what to do with him, and sometimes he would walk down to the river and stare into it and wonder where his parents went and when—if ever—they would come back and hold him once more.
***
Once or twice Frodo would have nightmares of cold water closing over his head and a darkness he could not escape surrounding him. He would wake up crying out for his parents only to find himself in Bag End with Bilbo standing over him, holding a lamp and looking concerned. Frodo was almost too big to held then but Bilbo would still sit on his bed and let him rest his head on Bilbo’s shoulder as Bilbo would sing softly and stroke his hair.
Dance all ye joyful, now dance all together!
Soft is the grass, and let foot be like feather!
The river is silver, the shadows are fleeting;
Merry is May-time, and merry our meeting.
Soon Frodo grew too old for lullabies, for his Uncle to come and soothe him back to sleep every time the nightmares would claim him. So he would wake in a cold sweat and sit up, light a candle and begin to read. He would read his Uncle’s books, on elves and dwarves and men and monsters, until the light would once again flood the sky and he could run out into the garden and let the bright morning of the Shire burn away his fears.
***
Then there came a time when Frodo had the greatest nightmare hung round his neck and there was never a sun bright enough to burn away the nightmares until he woke up crying out and Sam was next to him, warm hands on his face and words of comfort slowly pushing away the darkness in his heart. Sam would pull him off the hard ground and into the warmth of his arms and sing softly in the very blackest parts of the night when Frodo was sure that without Sam the darkness would have had him completely.
Sing we now softly, and dreams let us weave him!
Wind him in slumber and there let us leave him!
The wanderer sleepeth. Now soft be his pillow!
Sam would tell him to sleep and Frodo would instead bury his nose into Sam’s shoulder and inhale all the smells of the Shire that seemed to linger in Sam’s skin, as if he could somehow take that warmth into his own veins. Sam would hold Frodo’s head tight as if he was holding a baby and keep Frodo close and warm until dawn because Frodo could never fall back asleep, not with that weight around his throat.
***
And, finally, after an endless journey Frodo was standing in front of a glittering ocean with the nightmares far behind. At last there was no darkness clawing at his back or scrabbling at his throat, heart, mind.
He was free. To walk away from the old terrors and the night that had sucked him in and the darkness that had only parted in the heart of a fire. Yet in this freedom there was a sadness so intense he felt sure it would never leave him.
He turned away from the white ship that would bear him hence and look towards Sam one last time. Sam, his sunlight in the darkest of places. And for the last time, Sam held him in a way that was love and protection and the distant smells of the Shire. It reminded him, distantly, of the way his mother had held him and sang before he would drift off to sleep.
Lullaby! Lullaby! Alder and Willow!
Sigh no more Pine, till the wind of the morn!
Fall Moon! Dark be the land!
Hush! Hush! Oak, Ash, and Thorn!
Hushed be all water, till dawn is at hand!
Dawn was at hand, at last. The darkness was breaking and Frodo knew he was ready to sail into the sunlight.
But he still let himself close his eyes, just for an instant, as Sam’s warmth encircled him one last time.