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Summary
He knew what to expect. He knew how to behave to make it end quickly, but sometimes it was too much, too painful, too degrading. It was hard. But he endured it every time. He had to, or he wouldn’t survive.
It was almost laughable. Ridiculous to even think of it. One time he dared to think what it would be like if that happened. What freedom would be like, but he had never felt it before to know what it should feel like.
It was too much for his head to think of impossible dreams.