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The war was long and taxing on all involved. In the aftermath of that final battle the world watched as their hero fell from the skies. They watched as he stumbled through the crowd of heroes and peers, pushing away helping hands and medical aid. They watched as he collapsed to the ground beside his childhood friend and held him in his arms as both boys cried. The world watched. And they grieved. For the lost lives. For the pain. For the ruins of the next generation.
For a boy whose future is suddenly shattered and unknown.
The embers of One for All remain, thrumming lightly at every one of his nerve endings. He can’t hear the voices of the past users anymore and it’s surprisingly lonely. If he tries, he can still call on his quirk. Sometimes he does, for only a second, just to feel something again. But every time that familiar green lightning sparks the ember fades just a little bit more. For all intents and purposes, Midoriya Izuku is quirkless once more.
Not much changes. His friends still love him. His relationship with Katsuki grows stronger until suddenly they aren’t friends anymore. They become so much more than that. He remains in the hero course, despite his decision to retire. But despite all of this, things are still different. Streets are still ruined. Each and every one of them wake from nightmares or space out at the memories of pain and loss. And Izuku, he tries to remain strong for his friends. But they know. He knows they know.
It’s hard to hide the dullness in his gaze. His smiles no longer reach his eyes. He doesn’t cry so much anymore. He’s quiet. Reserved. And he’s often seen staring blankly out the window with a foreign look in his eyes and trembling hands. Midoriya Izuku, a boy who already had so little, gave up everything for the people of Japan. And the world's greatest hero only suffers because of it.
It starts early in their third year. The embers have faded enough that his sparks have become dim and sporadic. He trips himself up, starting strong in a quirk fueled sprint before he loses his grasp and Aizawa or Uraraka have to keep him from falling face first in the dirt. He joins training less often, choosing instead to sit off to the side and scribble in his notebooks. On his worse days he just stares, seemingly watching but eyes unseeing. And eventually Aizawa makes the choice to keep him from training altogether, if for no other reason than that his mental health can’t take it.
Word starts to spread through other departments pretty quickly. 3-A’s golden boy, world savior, retired hero Deku is quirkless. And while most people don’t seem to care, there is one who does.
Unknown number:
is this Deku?
Midoriya:
um?! Who’s asking??
Unknown Number:
I’ll take that as a yes,
Good
I’m sure we’ll have loads of fun together
Oh!
And don’t block me
I will know
The first thing Izuku does is block the number. He doesn’t have the time or energy to entertain some random person. The idea of having fans isn’t entirely new to him anymore but it is still something he isn’t used to. As much as he appreciates the people he’s saved, texting him on his personal number is going a bit too far. And maybe he should be concerned about how this random person got his number in the first place but he brushes it off. They’ve been blocked. If it escalates he’ll handle it. Until then, it’s under control.
Five minutes later, however, it escalates.
Unknown Number:
Did I not just tell you not to block me?
Midoriya:
What the hell?
How did you do that?
Unknown Number:
I have my ways, mutt
Now
You gonna follow the rules?
Izuku stares down at his phone in shock. Mutt? He hasn’t heard that one in a while. But the public doesn’t know about the loss of his quirk or his previous quirklessness. Which means whoever this is must be a UA student. The odds of it being a classmate are slim. He has everyone's numbers saved in his phone and he trusts his friends. Besides, as mean as it might sound he’s fairly sure that nobody in his class would be able to hack electronics. Katsuki might, if he’s driven enough. Momo is smart enough that she could but he gets the idea she wouldn’t have any interest. Jirou as well. Iida can hardly use his phone to make a quick text or phone call. His friends just wouldn’t make sense.
Midoriya:
What rules?
Unknown Number:
Aw! Good hero. Well, ex hero now i guess
Rules are as follows;
Do as i say
Do not block my number
Do not answer my calls
Do not report me
Do not tell that angry little boyfriend of yours
Follow my rules and we’ll get along just fine
Izuku sincerely doubts that.
Midoriya:
And if I break a rule?
Unknown Number:
You’ll have to break the rules to find out
Now then, let the games begin
Izuku doesn’t hear from the unknown number for several days after that. He almost forgets about it entirely. He continues his classes in peace. He attends his weekly mandated therapy sessions. He’s getting better. He still wakes up often in a cold sweat with the weight of survivors guilt and chronic pain weighing him down. But he smiles more often, more genuinely. He’s laughing again. Sharing his notes to help his friends grow. Spending time with Katsuki as often as he can. It’s nice. Peaceful.
Until it isn’t.
He’s in Katsuki’s room studying when the next text comes. He opens it, inhaling sharply at the single image sent. No text accompanying the photo. It’s grainy, clearly taken from a security camera. It's a single image from a classroom Izuku remembers clearly. And there, in the back corner of the room, is Izuku. He’s on the ground, knees pulled to his chest and fat tears streaking his cheeks. Standing over him is an angry Katsuki, one hot hand gripping Izuku's hair as he yells.
Midoriya:
How did you get that?
Unknown Number:
New rule: don’t ask questions
Anyway
You’re dating that now. You a masochist or what?
“Oi. You good?”
Izuku clicks his phone off quickly and puts it aside, looking at his boyfriend with a blindingly fake smile. He nods slightly, though he knows it’s not convincing. Katsuki narrows his eyes at him, glancing down at the discarded phone before looking back up at Izuku. There’s a flash of hurt in his boyfriend's eyes but it’s gone as quickly as it comes.
“Tch. Yeah, sure. Whatever. You got the answer for number sixteen?”
It goes on like that for days. At the same time every day a text comes through. A picture. Security footage from middle school. Audio clips of his sobs and begs. The worst one was a long distance photo of Izuku, the day of the sludge villain incident, standing on the edge of a familiar rooftop. He doesn’t need to see his face to know the longing look he had cast toward the ground below before he turned away and made his way to the roof access door to leave.
He’s started avoiding his friends around that time every day. He can’t help the hurt that crosses his face with every picture and people, Katsuki mostly, are starting to notice. He’s also picked up on his boyfriend's hesitancy around him when he suddenly clicks off his phone and puts on a fake smile. Izuku knows it’s not a good look. He can only hope that Katsuki doesn’t jump to any conclusions. The last thing Izuku needs right now is for the love of his life to think that he’s cheating.
Unknown Number:
How does it feel to know that the world pities you?
Midoriya:
Shut up.
Unknown Number:
Feisty today. I get it. Don’t wanna be reminded of how they’ll all abandon you once you graduate.
It’s ok. We don’t have to talk about that
Yet
Anyway
Got something for you, mutt
Before Izuku can respond, a call comes through. He almost answers it before he remembers the rules. Do not answer my calls. He stares as he waits, every ring rattling him to his core until the call goes to voicemail and the trembles of his phone are strictly a result of the tremor in his hands. And then it comes. New voicemail.
Unknown Number:
Listen to it.
So he does.
“Midoriya. Please stay after class.”
His breath hitches at the sound of his old middle school sensei. He hadn’t heard that voice in years, had no intention of ever hearing it again. That man, the one teacher that ruined his trust in authority figures. He still has nightmares about what he went through in that classroom. Laughter and jeers pull him from his thoughts.
“U-um did you n-n-need something S-sensei?”
A sigh. “Yes. Midoriya I’ll be honest with you. Your grades aren’t where they need to be. You’ll never get into UA with this garbage. You’ll be lucky to get in at all. I’m half tempted to shred your application.”
“WHAT!? N-no. You can’t do that. P-please Sensei. I’ll do anything. I swear!”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
Unknown Number:
Was his dick at least decent?
Midoriya:
I never did anything with him.
It wasn’t like that.
I mean…he tried. But I refused!
Unknown Number:
Sure you did.
We’ll see if I believe you
Wonder if I can find your secret teacher/student sex tape
Maybe it’ll be a nice surprise for your classmates
Midoriya:
Good luck finding something that doesn’t fucking exist you nutjob
Unknown Number:
I really get under your skin don’t I?
Midoriya:
No
Fuck you
Why can’t you just leave me alone?
Unknown Number:
Because that’s not how the game is played ;)
He starts to regress at that point. Suddenly his smiles fade again and his eyes grow dull once more. He knows his friends are worried but he can’t quite bring himself to care. He becomes a shell of his middle school self. He flinches at loud noises and sudden movements. He hunches his shoulders in the halls. He’s quiet and reserved, choosing to isolate himself in his room rather than attend movie nights or group study sessions.
His trust issues come back in full force. The casual, offhand mentions of his friends abandoning him start to creep into his subconscious even when his phone remains silent. He starts keeping everyone at arms length. It sucks. It’s lonely. It’s painful. But it’s for the best. Izuku will never be the hero he worked so hard to become. His classmates are better off without him.
Unknown Number:
Hey
Passed you in the hallway earlier
Not lookin too mentally stable
Do me a favor?
Don’t kill yourself just yet
I’m not quite done
Firm knocks sound on his door and Izuku heaves a small sigh. He buries himself further into his blankets, hoping that whoever is on the other side of that door will assume he’s just not here or sleeping and leave. It’s probably Iida checking to make sure he’s alive anyway. It’s sweet but it also hurts. He doesn’t want them to care. He doesn’t want their pity.
More knocks. “I know you’re in there, Deku. Open up.”
Fuck. Izuku slides slowly out of bed. Even if he wanted to, he could never quite bring himself to deny Katsuki. He hasn’t been fair to him either, pushing him away just as much as everyone else. Flinching at the soft pops of his quirk in a way he hasn’t done since first year. Izuku knows it hurts his boyfriend. But he can’t tell him. He can’t explain. It would break the rules.
“Hi Kachaan.”
Katsuki pushes past him into the room, taking in the dark depressed atmosphere before turning to Izuku as the door closes behind them. “The fuck is going on with you lately?”
“Nothing, Kachaan.”
“Don’t gimme that shit. You’ve been acting sketchy as hell and pushing everyone away. I want honesty.”
“Well I can’t provide that right now so if all you’re gonna do is yell at me then you can go.”
It’s quiet for several minutes. Katsuki takes in Izuku's disheveled appearance. The lack of emotions. His phone where it lays face down on the night table. He stares at the phone far longer than Izuku would like and before he can think any better of it Izuku walks over and pockets his phone protectively.
“If you’re cheating on me just fucking say that.”
Tears brim Izuku’s eyes immediately. He had been worried about that. Of all the things stressing him lately, this was by far the worst case scenario. Izuku doesn’t think he could handle Katsuki hating him again. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost the blond over something like this. But he still can't say anything. Still can’t defend himself. And so he drops down onto his bed as the tears fall.
“God Kachaan. No. I wouldn’t do that. I almost wish that was the problem.”
“Then talk to me? Tell me what’s going on. We’re a team, Zuku. We gotta rely on each other.”
Katsuki squats down in front of him and Izuku can’t help but grip onto his hands when they’re offered. The tears pick up. He doesn’t deserve Katsuki and his never-ending patience. His love. He hates that he has to lie. To keep secrets. To hurt this beautiful boy that he loves. But he can’t. He just can’t.
“I know. I’m sorry. I just…I can’t talk about it, Kachaan.”
“Is it the embers?”
“No.”
“Graduation?”
“No, Kac-”
“Just tell me!”
“I CAN’T!” Izuku doesn’t mean to yell. Katsuki doesn’t deserve that. But he’s just so angry. So tired. He wants this to be over.
“Don’t you think I want to? Don’t you think I want you to make all the pain go away? It hurts, Kachaan. It hurts so much. And I can’t tell anyone, especially you. And I hate it more than anything but I just…can’t. So please? Please stop asking?”
Katsuki doesn’t say anything for several minutes. He stares, expression soft despite the yelling. Despite the lies and the secrecy. He holds both of Izuku’s hands with one hand as the other comes up to wipe the never-ending tears. He offers a single nod and slowly moves, coaxing Izuku back further on the bed and crawling in beside him. He holds Izuku close and runs his fingers through his hair to calm him. It almost works. But then his phone vibrates in his pocket.
Izuku hesitantly pulls his phone out and clicks it open, angling the screen so Katsuki can’t see. His boyfriend watches him intently, looking for any signs of distress, and so Izuku remains carefully neutral as he opens the text and looks at the picture sent. The angle is odd, slightly downcast and low quality, but the image is clear. Izuku’s bedroom. Him and Katsuki laid out on the bed. Two more come through. The first showing the two of them standing, Katsuki staring at Izuku's phone on the table. The second, Izuku crying on the bed, Katsuki squatted in front of them. Finally one more sends. The couple on the bed again. Izuku staring at his phone.
Izuku lifts his gaze, looking toward the corner. There, on his desk, is his laptop. It’s open but the screen is dark. The camera at the top is slightly downcast with the angle of the screen. It’s facing the bed head on.
“Kachaan?”
“Yeah?”
“Close my laptop please? Now.”
Katsuki doesn’t question it. He simply pulls away and does as asked. Izuku can see the confusion and irritation in his boyfriend's expression. The furrow of his brow and the set in jaw. But still, he says nothing as he crawls back into bed. He pulls Izuku closer and buries his face in green curls. Izuku nearly cries again at the sheer amount of support his boyfriend provides without question.
Unknown Number:
Touche
Don’t worry. It can all end tomorrow.
I hope you’ll enjoy my present
Izuku doesn’t sleep that night. Katsuki had opted to stay with him, holding him close as his snores echoed through the room. Izuku wanted to be annoyed, briefly considering buying Katsuki literally anything to help with snoring, but he couldn’t bring himself to be truly upset by it. It was grounding in a way. Gave him something for his overactive, anxious brain to focus on in the silence. It’s worse when his tormentor doesn’t text. Dread wells up in his stomach as he waits for the next attack.
He’s tired as they walk to class together that morning, relying on the warm hand gripping his own to keep him walking as they make the trek from the dorms to the heroics department. Katsuki doesn’t say anything and Izuku, while still feeling guilty about the lies, basks in the peace of silence. It’ll all be over today. That’s what the text had said. And somehow, it brings him little comfort.
They arrive at their class with plenty of time to spare and Izuku walks in ahead of his boyfriend. He keeps his head down as he walks to his desk, dropping his bag on the back of his chair and turning to sit. But that's when he sees it. The clear vase sitting in the center of his desk. Pretty red spider lilies arranged in a beautiful mosaic of death. Not a threat. An option. A promise. An escape. Leaned against the vase is a small note.
‘And so we reach the games end. I hear they make a great tea. Thanks for playing, mutt.’
“What the fuck? Who the fuck did this shit?”
“Wasn’t any of us Bakubro. We know not to flirt.” Kirishima defends.
“Firt? The fuck are yo-”
“Yeah man. Nobody in their right mind would get Midoriya flowers, lest we face your wrath.” Kaminari chuckles.
“They’re spider lilies you dumb fucks. They’re poisonous. This ain’t flirting. It’s suicide baiting.”
The room goes quiet at that, taking in Izuku’s blank expression as he stares down at the note. He runs a finger along the lip of the vase. He starts to bring his hand up, to touch the petals, to maybe take the out, but a rough hand grabs his wrist and pulls his hand away.
“Izuku. Don’t. You know better.”
“They’re pretty, Kachaan.”
“Yeah well fuck them. And fuck you for considering it. Lemme see that.”
Katsuki snatches the note out of Izuku's hand and reads it over. He clenches his fists, small pops scorching the paper and a few ashes fall to the desk below. He grabs the vase and tosses the flowers in the trash, the sound of glass shattering echoing through the room. Or maybe that was Izuku's heart finally succumbing to the pain of the last several weeks. Tears brim his eyes and Izuku sniffles in a valiant attempt to keep the tears at bay.
“Is this what you’ve been keeping from me? Is someone harassing you?”
Katsuki’s voice is soft, gentle. Hands cup his cheeks and the tears spill. He can’t help it anymore. He nods. A sob rips out of him and his knee buckles. Katsuki catches him easily, holding him as they lower to the floor. Izuku grips at his blazer tightly and presses his snotty face into Katsuki's neck.
“I don’t know who it is, they never told me. It’s been since the beginning of the year after the embers burned out too much for me to train. I tried to block them but they somehow reversed it. They threatened me if I didn’t follow the rules. I didn’t know what to do, Kachaan. I’m so sorry.”
“Show me.”
Izuku sniffles and looks up at the sound of Aizawa's deep voice nearby. He’s not sure when his teacher entered the room but he looks pissed. Izuku curls into himself, or moreso Katsuki given how wrapped up he is in the blonds embrace, and lowers his head as his sensei approaches and squats beside them. Aizawa drops a gentle hand in his curls and softens his expression.
“I’m not mad at you Midoriya, I’m angry on your behalf. I just want to help. Please, kid. Show me.”
Izuku pulls his phone out and brings up the text log, scrolling back to the very first message and handing it to his teacher. Aizawa reads briefly, only making it to the text laying out Izuku's rules before pocketing the phone and running his fingers through Izuku's hair soothingly. Izuku closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He relaxes slowly at the gentle touch of his teacher and the protective arms wrapped around him.
“I’ll figure this out kid, don’t worry. Bakugou, take him back to the dorms. You two are excused for the day.”
“Yes sensei.”
His phone is turned over to Principal Nezu. He and Aizawa spend hours looking over every text, listening to the voicemail and trying to find evidence of hacking. They confiscate his laptop after seeing the pictures from the night before. No signs of hacking. So they check the school files for all departments in search of a quirk that could affect electronics. It takes several days and in that time Izuku stays close to Katsuki with no access to his devices or the internet. It’s oddly freeing, not having to worry about random texts or phone calls. He almost feels like he can breathe again.
It turns out to be a third year from the support department with a quirk called database. His quirk allows him to access any device that shares a nearby network. It’s how he unblocked his number from Izuku’s phone. How he accessed the camera on his laptop. How he acquired the security footage from Aldera. Itami Makoto admits that he had targeted Izuku due to his quirk status with the intent to drive him toward suicide.
His fatal flaw? Katsuki.
Izuku can reluctantly admit that intrusive thoughts were there. Itami had made him feel small and isolated. He felt weak. He reminded Izuku that quirkless means useless. That he has no place in this world moving forward. But Katsuki reminded him that Midoriya Izuku is loved. That he’s valued. That he’s a hero. Izuku had pushed him away and Katsuki pushed back harder. He didn’t let Izuku lose himself, even when he didn’t know the full story. He refused to give up. And just that one night in bed, held in protective arms that promised love and care for the rest of their lives, was enough to keep him going.
Itami is expelled and blacklisted with pending legal charges. Izuku dares to have hope. Quirkless laws aren’t exactly fair but with the backing of UA and Izuku’s status after the war he thinks there might be a chance that things will go in his favor. And so, he moves on. It isn’t easy. It takes weeks for him to learn to let people in again. Months to stop flinching or curling in on himself. He doesn’t use his phone as much anymore, always too afraid that he’ll see a text from an unknown number. But his friends are patient and Katsuki helps him through it.
With time, he starts to heal. And months later when he walks off the graduation stage toward his future, hand in hand with his boyfriend and their friends all around him, he smiles. And this time, it’s genuine.