Chapter Text
It was a throwaway comment.
Something stupid, tiny, inconsequential.
It didn’t mean anything.
Accept, it did. It meant quite a bit to Lu Guang..
They’d been cleaning out the desk in the bedroom, something Lu Guang was pretty sure Cheng Xiaoshi hadn’t done once in his whole time living at the studio. Lu Guang wanted to use the desk, but the mess had stressed him out so much that he was making Cheng Xiaoshi help him clear it out before he would use it.
And Cheng Xiaoshi very quickly got annoyed at Lu Guang’s constant teasing about the state of the desk.
So of course Lu Guang doubled down.
Cheng Xiaoshi got even more annoyed. It was quite entertaining.
His most recent find was a page from what was probably a middle school math assignment. It looked mostly correct, but it was hard to tell because the assignment had clearly never been turned in or graded, instead left to its lonely fate at the bottom of Cheng Xiaoshi’s drawer.
It wasn’t the first forgotten assignment Lu Guang had found, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Lu Guang held up the paper, about to make another comment about the page, or maybe question how he had managed to graduate when he lost so many of his assignments.
And then-
“Lu Guang, I love you, but I swear to god, if you keep-”
Cheng Xiaoshi’s voice faded to white noise as Lu Guang fixated on those damn words.
Lu Guang, I love you.
He wasn’t insecure in his friendship with Cheng Xiaoshi.
He could tell that somehow in the mess of Lu Guang shoving himself into Cheng Xiaoshi’s life, somewhere amidst the teasing, Cheng Xiaoshi liked being around him. Or liked having him around, at least.
But it was nice to be reassured every once in a while.
It was really nice, actually.
He heard it again, but this time, himself, playing it again in his head.
“Lu Guang, I love you.”
It wasn’t a big moment. It wasn’t a grand gesture or huge reveal.
It just was. A simple fact, stated as such.
I love you.
As if Lu Guang knew—and maybe he did—that what they had was special enough to be called love.
As if Lu Guang should have known that Cheng Xiaoshi loved him.
Cheng Xiaoshi loved him.
And, randomly, and usually at the worst times, Lu Guang finds himself thinking about it and the casual way he’d said it, as if it was an obvious, well established fact. As if it was an easy, simple truth.
Because, apparently, it was.
That shouldn’t have affected him as much as it did.
But it was nice to be loved.
It was really nice.
🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
Lu Guang didn’t see the point in this.
Qiao Ling seemed convinced that if they just kept streaming, they would get popular enough to attract customers to the studio. She’d been preaching the importance of a consistent posting schedule, and Lu Guang didn’t have the heart to tell her it was pointless. They’d been doing this for about a month and their highest view count had been thirty people, none of whom lived in the area.
But, Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi were having fun, so Lu Guang had no choice.
It was exactly what he had come to expect since entwining his life with those two.
Today, Qiao Ling had decided to add an audience Q and A section to the end of the live stream. So far, the questions had been pretty basic. They’d been asked things such as, “What is your favorite food?” and “What do you do for fun?”
Qiao Ling had been going on for a while about her stuffed animal collection.
And Cheng Xiaoshi was visibly bored.
“Oh! We have another question!” he said, perking up, excited to be able to cut off Qiao Ling’s story. “Uhhh,” he leaned in way too close to the screen to read the comment. “Are any of you dating?” he snapped back, looking embarrassed.
“Cheng Xiaoshi!” Qiao Ling exclaimed, shoving his shoulder. “You’re supposed to ignore the weird ones!”
“I didn’t know what it said until I read it!”
Qiao Ling turned back to the camera. “No, none of us are dating. These two,” she gestured to the boys sitting next to her, “are not my type. Besides, Xiaoshi is basically my brother.”
Cheng Xiaoshi nudged Lu Guang. “And we're not dating. Obviously.” He chuckled awkwardly.
There was a pause, then, “I don’t know why I said that. Obviously.”
Obviously.
But, Cheng Xiaoshi was tense for the rest of the live stream. And he didn’t look at Lu Guang once.
Interesting.
🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
“So,” Cheng Xiaoshi asked the next afternoon, “what is your type, then?”
Lu Guang looked up from the camera lens he was cleaning. He leveled his gaze at Cheng Xiaoshi, but didn’t bother to respond.
His roommate barrelled on anyway. “Yesterday made me realize that we’ve never talked about that kind of stuff. I’m just curious? What’s your type?”
When Lu Guang went back to working, Cheng Xiaoshi asked, “Are you going to make me guess? Ok, tell me if I’m hot or cold. Uh-”
Lu Guang cut him off before he could say whatever unintentionally insulting thing he was inevitably going to come up with. “I don’t have a type.”
Cheng Xiaoshi scoffed. “Sure you do. Everyone does.”
“I don’t.”
“Would it help if I started with mine? Break the ice a little bit? I like someone with sharp features. And also, is like, mysterious? Oh, and being smart doesn’t hurt, I’m definitely into nerds. And, uhh-” he trailed off, prompting Lu Guang to look up. Cheng Xiaoshi was looking over Lu Guang’s shoulder when he said, “I’m not too picky about gender, either.”
His eyes snapped to Lu Guang’s to check his reaction. Lu Guang kept his face carefully neutral.
“I’m not weird about it, I swear! Sorry for not telling you before you moved in, it just never came up. But I’m not a creep or something, it’s just-”
“I don’t care,” Lu Guang said bluntly.
“Wait really?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked.
Lu Guang nodded. This wasn’t exactly a surprising revelation, but he let Cheng Xiaoshi have his moment.
“What about you?” Cheng Xioshi asked. “You still haven’t told me your type.”
“I told you, I don’t have one.”
“And I told you, that is nonsense. But I can help you figure it out! Who is your current crush? Or your last crush?”
Lu Guang sighed. He did not want to have to explain himself. He knew what was coming. The shock, the thinly veiled disbelief, or, god forbid, pity. He was exhausted just thinking about it.
“I don’t have one.”
“Just work with me here for a second, Lu Guang,” Cheng Xiaoshi pleaded. “Last crush. Go.”
“I don’t have one. I’ve never had a crush.”
Cheng Xiaoshi gasped in surprise. “Wait, never?” And there it was.
“I’ve never had any interest in seeking out romantic relationships. I have been occupied with other things.”
“Crushes aren’t something you seek out. They just kinda happen.”
“Not to me.”
Cheng Xiaoshi thought for a moment. “Huh. I didn’t know that was possible.” He paused. “I don’t care.”
Lu Guang raised his eyebrows and Cheng Xiaoshi quickly backtracked.
“Not like that! Why does it sound so mean when I say it?” he lamented. “What I meant to say was, ‘I don’t mind.’”
“I’d hope not,” Lu Guang said, but he gave Cheng Xiaoshi a small, relieved smile.