Work Text:
Dave had gotten his archaeology degree done and dusted for about a month now, which was great. He was glad to have finished school for the foreseeable future, with a head full of knowledge about bones, stones and all that good stuff.
What was less great was the current job market. He applied to everything, commercial, and governmental companies, he wasn't picky, but he was coming up empty. All he wanted to do was dig a big hole in the ground, maybe find some bones. Not dinosaur ones, though, he wasn't a palaeontologist, and he'd scorn anyone who would dare to suggest so.
So, that month was fairly empty, scrolling through job sites, and complaining to anyone who would listen about this unending plight.
So, when he got a call from Aradia, he was right on that shit, he picked up the phone faster than anyone could look. She managed to wrangle some job in a commercial archaeology company, almost immediately after college. She told Dave she would ask around for jobs for him, but couldn't promise anything, so he couldn't help but hope for the best when he picked up the phone.
"I have a job."
That's what Dave was talking about, hell yeah.
"It's not in archaeology."
And Dave was fucked, once more.
"Well shit man, hit me, I guess nothing could be worse than my long days trawling the job sites," Dave said, sitting down at the edge of his bed.
"You know Sollux," Aradia started.
Dave did know Sollux, Aradia's permanently exhausted looking boyfriend. He was surprised Sollux was still standing, with the amount of time he spent vegetating in front of a computer screen. He was due a heart attack, with the piles and piles of Redbull energy drinks he stacked up on his shelves.
He didn't say all this, instead he just said "Yes,"
"His baseball team is looking a mascot." Aradia said.
Dave paused at this, for one, he didn't know Sollux played baseball, the image of him on a sports team was almost laughable. For two, he didn't know how he felt about the idea of basically becoming a glorified furry now, or a circus animal? He wasn't sure of the difference.
On the other hand, he was unemployed, and it was getting dire. It may not be digging holes in the ground, but he was willing to consider it.
"Shit dude, Sollux is on a baseball team, he looks like he'd be blown down by a small breeze. Every time I've seen him, he's been sat in front of the computer for the past four hours. Are you sure he's on a baseball team?" Dave said, instead of answering.
"Apparently so, unless that's some stranger with a startling similarity to Sollux," Aradia said cheerily, "So how would you feel about being a mascot."
"What animal are we talking here, wolf, cat, I need to know before anythings set in stone here man."
Aradia paused consideringly, "I think it's a bird."
"What the hell sure," Dave said, "Lets get our fucking furry on."
------------------------------------------------------------
Dave had to go in for an interview. Apparently he couldn't nepotism his way all the way to the top of the mascot food chain, but apparently they were desperate enough for someone that they were ready to hire him relatively quickly. All he had to do was tell them about his great work ethic and his passion for college baseball mascots and he was in.
And so, there he was, the most recent mascot for the Alternian State University Wood ducks.
He then spent a long week of sending in emails, to discuss salary, contracts, and how to look after his new fursuit. If he ever decided he needed a new hobby he was ready.
He hoped this didn't awaken anything in him.
He would probably be fine.
------------------------------------------------------------
Dave walked into good old ASU, stationed about twenty minutes away from his own old college. He came by ten minutes early, because he was man enough to admit he needed to allot in getting lost time, where he wandered the outside of the college, looking for, a, what should be easy to spot, baseball field.
"These things are fucking huge how hard can they be to find," he mumbled to himself while walking around.
He wasn't thrilled to admit that it took him an extra ten minutes to find the field, in an area that really wasn't difficult to locate, and was just an extra ten minute walk from the school.
When he walked into the field, looking for someone he should talk to, he saw small congregations of players, gathered around the dugout at the side of the field, most notably, Sollux who was leant against the railing, talking to a short, curly haired player, with a baseball cap, embroidered with a brightly coloured duck, balanced on his head, gripping a baseball bat in his left hand.
Dave, with want of a better solution, walked over to Sollux.
"Sollux, hey man, your girlfriend roped me into joining you're sports team with my mascot related services, I've been told I'm here to dress up as a bird and joyously dance around the field, which, you've come to the right guy. I am bird ready, I've read the entire pamphlet on fursuit keep, I've really tried to enter the mind of a bird here man. Never say I'm not invested here." Dave said interrupting whatever the short guy was saying.
"Fucking excuse you, dipshit, I've been talking here," The short guy said, glaring at Dave. Unfortunately that doesn't really work when you're all of 5'6. 5'7 if he's feeling generous.
"Oh shit, sorry man, didn't see you all the way down there, just gotta get some information out of this guy here, so I can get started on workin',"
"Ha fucking Ha, Karkat is short, another genius insult. What's next, Karkat can't hit balls in the strikezone, Karkat once fell over trying to run to 1st base, and singlehandedly ended the inning in a triple play. We can't all be lanky fucks like you dickwad."
"I don't know why all my hypothetical insults are all so baseball related, or what a triple play is, but I have to assume that was an absolute heartbreaker there."
Karkat groaned, "Fucking awesome, hey Sollux, thank Aradia for somehow getting someone who knows next to nothing about baseball, that's great."
Sollux just rolled his eyes at Karkat's impassioned ranting, seemingly unphased by the barrage of words leaving his mouth. "It's fine KK, it's not like the guy's going to be playing,"
"Yeah man, I'm one step above a performing seal, I'm like circus animal." Dave said, before turning back to Sollux. "So if we want to circle back to directing me, because I'm not sure where I'm meant to be headed."
Sollux pushed himself off the railings of the dugout, and pointed with his head, in the universal 'follow me' gesture, leaving Karkat stewing angrily by himself.
What was Dave to do but comply.
Sollux led Dave inside a building at the side of the field, through to a room at the end of the hall, which honestly read as just a repurposed classroom, but it's fine, needs must. Inside was a short, brightly clad woman, talking quietly to a slightly taller man who honestly looked more suited to leading the mafia, instead of, presumably, a college baseball team. They both looked up as the two of them walked in.
"Good luck," Sollux mumbled, nodding at the two other people in the room, before exiting swiftly.
Dave walked into the room, inspecting the surroundings.
"Hey, kid, stop daydreaming, we've got a job to do here."
Dave snapped his vision back to the two people in the room.
"Oh yeah, hey, I'm Dave," He said, holding a hand out for a fistbump.
No one took, and he put his hand away after a minute, with a distinct feeling that he lost something.
"Your costume is over there," Jack said, point at the little pile of fabrics, with a carefully crafted cartoon duck head on top. "You know what you're supposed to do, get on the field 20 minutes before the game starts."
Dave nodded carefully, gnawing thoughtfully at the inside of his cheek.
Then he asked, "Could I get a hat?"
He felt something thrown at his head a minute later, and he looked down to see a brightly coloured baseball cap, with the same duck he saw on Karkat's hat earlier.
Fucking score.
------------------------------------------------------------
Dave, clad in his new hat, with an armful of Duck was stood in what was clearly a janitors closet, trying to get into his costume.
He had already knocked over the mop three times, and shoved his foot into a metal bucket into the corner twice, trying to use the 2 square feet of floor space he had been awarded. His feet were socked in some unruly webbed feet, that he could already tell he would probably struggle to walk in. He pulled on the furry trousers, splashed in yellows and blacks, and the equally furry colourful top. A jersey was pulled over the top, embroidered with the number 20 and the ever creative name of duck written across the back.
"Hell yeah I look awesome," Dave mumbled looking at himself in his phone camera, before putting his head on. He awkwardly fumbled with the timer on the camera on his phone before setting it down, and taking a photo with a peace sign, and sending it off to half his contacts. Everyone needed a piece of this Dave Strider content.
Upon checking the time he saw he had about five minutes to get on the field, before he was officially late to his first day on the job. He walked through the twisting halls to get back to the stadium, tentatively following the way Sollux showed him, until he was spat out into the park. He looked up to see a steady filing of people into the stands, who started to cheer as he walked out. He started waving at the many people in the stands, it seemed right, because the crowd seemed happy enough to see him.
Dave was kind of at a loss at what to do. It's not like he had much experience dressing up as a bird and entertaining vast crowds of people. He was grateful for the slowly setting sun, leaving a cool chill through the late Houston night. He didn't really know what the fuck the deal would be when they reached summer but he decided that was a later Dave problem.
After about 3 minutes of waving at various people in the crowd, Dave could tell it was getting old, and he would be damned if he was a subpar mascot. He carefully considered his next course of action. Dave looked around the field, the other university team was warming up, throwing balls and stretching in the visitors dugout. The home team were behaving similarly, and Dave could see Karkat throwing a ball against the wall, bouncing it and catching it behind his back. That was kind of sick to watch actually.
Dave focused himself, and climbed over the stands to the audience. The next step became clear, as hoards of children flocked around him.
He never knew if he was good with children, what with the only people he ever really spoke to being between the ages of 21-24, largely not giving him the chance. It didn't seem to really matter here, though, with him not being required to talk.
"Okay sure, just grab my fucking fur, yeah that's fine," Dave mumbled, quietly to himself, just quiet enough to not be heard through the thick layers of fur standing between him and the people around him. He continued this quiet mumbling as he walked around the stands, sort of allowing the people around him to come to him, because he felt like accosting the people around him was massively uncomfortable for everyone involved.
This continued for, presumably, 20 minutes because soon he saw everyone start to settle down and he made his way back to the tunnel he came out of. He walked into a bathroom, into one of the stalls, pulling the head off, taking a breath of fresh air, that didn't smell like must. It was incredible. Truly nothing more freeing than this.
He continues like this for the next 3 hours, walking around between innings, waving at fans, doing cool, ironic dances that made everyone around him aware of how sick he was, busting those sweet ass moves to whatever song was playing from the speaker over the ballpark.
When he finally finished his shift at the park, he went back to his dark, damp dwelling that was the janitors closet, to try and free himself from this warm duck prison. He peeled off all the separate parts, folding them carefully and carrying them to the locker that had been allocated to him when he came in for the job. Dave placed the costume on the little shelf, and made his way out of the stadium.
He stepped into the cool air, shivering slightly, in the sudden change from the humidity of his mascot costume, to the late evening Houston air. He walked over to his bus stop, sitting down and finally opening his phone checking what all his friends were saying to his picture he sent. All good things, he could only assume.
He opened his messages, scrolling through the few he was sent, opening the one by June
ectoBiologist: dave…
ectoBiologist: do you have something to tell us.
ectoBiologist: we'll accept you always dave you know that
turntechGodhead: hell yeah i have something to tell you. im telling you im the sickest mascot this side of texas
turntechGodhead: donald duck doesnt have shit on me, huey, dewey and louis wish.
ectoBiologist: hmmmmmmmm… we'll see about that dave :B
turntechGodhead: yeah we will.
Dave exited out of the chat-log, opening up Rose's message
tentacleTherapist: Well Well Well Dave,
tentacleTherapist: Changing allegiances are we. No loyalty to the university that raised you?
turntechGodhead: woah, I didn't even know asu had a baseball team why the fuck do you know about it.
tentacleTherapist: Am I not allowed to know about sports?
tentacleTherapist: Are you the only one allowed to join your athletic community?
tentacleTherapist: And what started this new exciting career Dave, is this you making a testament about how humans never quite moved on from their animalistic desires. Or is this you trying to get back in touch with those animal desires?
turntechGodhead: well rose you tell me.
turntechGodhead: i think its me trying to get a job, so i can pave my own path in this world. im trying to fight the societal pressures that say, no dave you cannot make money dancing about and making a fool of yourself dressed as a bird. im trying to make a statement here rose. im saving the world if you think about it.
Dave was swiftly cut off from this train of thought, by the arrival of the bus. He got on and sat down at the back, like the cool kid he was, and shoved his headphones on his head, listening to a new genre of country music he found, where they insisted on using a synth for everything.
------------------------------------------------------------
Much of this job consisted of much of the same. It got surprisingly repetitive for Dave. Three to four nights a week, he would make his way up to the ballpark, put on the costume, and make a nuisance out of himself for the name of entertainment of the masses. Even members of the audience started to stick out to him as people he would see at multiple games, and after a couple of weeks, he felt like he had really gotten into the swing of things.
He kept trying to familiarise himself with the team as well, he met Karkat often, even when working, always trying to poke at prod at the other. Karkat would swipe at his hand, glaring at him whenever he came close. The rest of the team just seemed to find it hilarious the more riled up Karkat got, which just egged Dave on more.
He continued with this routine, when he got a call from Aradia on one of his weekends off
"Dave!"
"Sup," Dave said, trying to simultaneously make a sandwich, trying to spread butter on the bread one handed
"Do you want to go to a baseball game, Sollux got me tickets for his next game!"
"I'm at that baseball stadium a lot, and I'm working when they're playing anyway,"
"Not at the away games." Aradia said, "They're playing your old university, anyways, you've never seen a baseball game, you've got to see one, surely."
Dave shifted his phone so he had both hands free, trying to assemble the sandwich together, and shrugged. He then remembered Aradia couldn't see him do that.
"What the hell, sure, you've convinced me."
"Okay, see you tonight" she said brightly, hanging up the phone.
Dave dropped his phone, eating his sandwich consideringly. He got up after, ready to get all baseball ready.
------------------------------------------------------------
The stadium looked nearly identical to the one he worked at, with the stacks of chairs, the wide open field, and the players all congregating in the little dugouts at the sides.
Dave settled down next to Aradia, who had a similar hat to Dave's and was making her way to the railings, waving down at someone on the field.
Dave made his way over to where she was, just to see what all the fuss was about, and saw Sollux waving up at her. Dave scanned over the rest of the dugout, seeing Karkat messing with the piles of bats in the dugout. He had his catchers helmet on, flipped up, and his extra padding over his legs and chest.
The players started to walk onto the field and Aradia and Dave made their way to the seats.
------------------------------------------------------------
Dave really didn't consider enough how long these games were. It was getting warmer as they stretched into April, but the night still chilled him slightly. He was armed in a red jacket he pulled from the back of a chair on the way out and it wasn't enough. He pulled it tighter around himself, trying to stave off the brisk air.
As is stood, they had just entered the 7th inning, and the score still stood at 0-0. All they seemed to do was throw balls at each other, and it didn't really amount to anything. Karkat had managed to pull himself around to third base, with another runner on first. Another player, Dave had recently learnt was named Nepeta came out, tapping her bat in the dirt and swinging it up by her head. She swung decisively at the first pitch, hitting it through the dirt, and between two bases, leaving Karkat to run home.
A resounding boo went around the stadium, and Dave found himself still cheering with Aradia, against it all.
The final two innings went by without much fanfare, without any more runs being scored, finishing with a 1-0 game. Dave followed Aradia down to the lower levels to go find Sollux. Once he was left alone, he walked over to Karkat, who was dressed in a loose fitting ASU hoodie over his uniform, chewing lightly on one of the strings, typing on his phone.
"Hey man sick game. Will say though, shocked by the lack of hitting, what's up with that, I though the game was fully dependent on that, and the running I guess." Dave asked
"Oh and you're a fucking expert now." Karkat said indignantly, looking up from his phone to glare at Dave, "Last thing I knew, you didn't even know what a catcher does."
"I mean, I still don't really know, man. This may as well be fucking rocket science to me for all I know. I haven't like hidden some secret ancient baseball knowledge from you man. I'm clueless to this world of ball Karkat. I have yet to have had my eyes opened to the sport. All I know is it goes on for way too long, and a lot of time is spent not hitting a ball, which is weird."
Karkat's glare was getting more and more hostile, as Dave went on, instead of hopelessly endeared which Dave assumed happened whenever he opened his mouth.
"God you fucking dickwipe, no one makes you come to these games, or dress up like an imbecile, if you think they're that boring. It's not like you know enough to be giving me pointers on my game." Karkat said, finally, interrupting Dave's whole train of thought, before storming off angrily, in the direction of the exit. Dave just watched him leave, chewing on the inside of his cheek, trying to figure out what he really did wrong.
He went home that day, and laid in bed, thinking over his interaction with Karkat. He realised he probably did his classic foot in his mouth bullshit, but couldn't quite figure out exactly what he said.
That's when his phone went off with an unknown number
carcinoGeneticist: I GOT YOUR NUMBER OFF SOLLUX WHO PROBABLY GOT IT OFF ARADIA.
carcinoGeneticist: I'M APOLOGISING FOR YELLING AT YOU.
carcinoGeneticist: IT'S KARKAT BUT YOU PROBABLY COULD HAVE GUESSED
carcinoGeneticist: ACCORDING TO SOLLUX I WAS OVERREACTING. AND LOOKING AT MY PAST HISTORY WITH THE EXACT SAME THING THAT WAS PROBABLY TRUE.
carcinoGeneticist: SO, YEAH SORRY.
turntechGodhead: nah no worries man probably shouldnt have implied the sport you play is boring as shit
carcinoGeneticist: NO PROBABLY NOT
turntechGodhead: so what is a catcher anyway
Karkat stopped texting for a moment
carcinoGeneticist: WHY DO YOU ASK
turntechGodhead: you got annoyed at me for not knowing what a catcher does
turntechGodhead: so what do they do
carcinoGeneticist: OH
carcinoGeneticist: THEY BLOCK THE BALL, TELL THE PITCHER WHAT PITCH TO THROW AND TRICK THE UMPIRE INTO THINKING A BALL WAS A STRIKE
carcinoGeneticist: ALSO LIKE, CONTROLLING THE FIELD.
carcinoGeneticist: KIND OF.
turntechGodhead: sick
Dave could feel his eyes closing, and his consciousness fading, so he plugged his phone in, lest he wake up with it dead or dropped onto his face, more settled after the talk with Karkat.
------------------------------------------------------------
Something he never realised as a mascot, was that he had a very good view of the ballpark when the players were playing. Another thing he never realised as mascot, was that the rules of baseball were confusing. Dave watched a player hit the ball a third time, who was still somehow not out. He discovered, in that moment, he didn't actually know anything about the sport he was representing.
Usually he'd be fine with this reality, not always willing to trawl through the confused hellhole that Google had become to try and get an answer, but he had ways of getting answers that he didn't before.
turntechGodhead: so what does nepeta do
turntechGodhead: she spends all her time between the second and third bases, and like surely she's gotta pick one. like.
carcinoGeneticist: NEPETA STAYS BETWEEN SECOND AND THIRD
carcinoGeneticist: SHES PLAYING SHORTSTOP
turntechGodhead: hah apt
turntechGodhead: get it, because shes short. how tall is she like 5"3, 5"4 at the most. you're not far off though to be fair. your entire baseball team is made of a bunch of short people. thats crazy. do you have anyone over 6 feet or nah. surely theres some sort of advantage to being tall
carcinoGeneticist: HAHA YES I AM SHORT, GET FUCKING OVER IT MAN. EVERYONE ELSE HAS.
turntechGodhead: they havent though have they
carcinoGeneticist: I HAVE NO COMMENT TO MAKE ON THE MATTER.
Dave continued like this for the next few days, texting Karkat little things he noticed about the game. He noticed as the days went on he had less and less to ask, as the game became more of a fleshed out entity in his head.
He continued to go to work, in his bird costume, as the temperatures became hotter, the giant furry head he was contractually obligated to keep on his head only weighed him down more. In his free time, he sat, in his apartment, laptop resting on his lap, cold emailing more and more companies, trying to get somewhere outside of his weird current job.
It was during one of these routine emailing marathons he was going on that he got the text.
carcinoGeneticist: I HAVE SPARE TICKETS TO A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME
carcinoGeneticist: IF YOU WANT TO COME. NOW THAT YOU HAVE THAT NEWFOUND BASEBALL KNOWLEDGE
carcinoGeneticist: THANKS TO YOURS TRULY OBVIOUSLY
turntechGodhead: hell yeah man, the student has become the master. you better watch out karkat, youre looking to get outbaseballed. you dont want to know what kind of sick ball knowledge ive gained in the past few months. you dont know what youve done
carcinoGeneticist: YEAH RIGHT.
------------------------------------------------------------
Daikin Park stood towering over the two of them, as they walked into the stadium. Karkat scanned both of their tickets and led them to the upper levels around the various food stalls. Dave looked over the options, seeing some classics that he never thought he'd experience with his own eyes.
"Dude is there anything they can't load onto a hot dog."
Karkat rolled his eyes at that. "Is this another baseball question then."
"Yeah man, the most important one of them all."
He ended up with a bowl of nachos loaded with brisket. He was truly living the dream.
They walked to the seats, not right next to the field, but the players were visible enough.
"So who's playing." Dave asked biting into one of his nachos, which tasted like the American dream, and grease. It was perfect.
"The Astros," Karkat said, pointing down the at the guys dressed in orange, "And the White Sox." pointing at the other team, whose logo looked suspiciously like the one adorning Karkat's hat.
Which explained the glares that followed them as they walked around the stadium, Dave just assumed everyone there was a big fan of college baseball.
"Not a fan of Houston's team?" Dave said, "For shame man, for shame, do you not want to see your own great city do well? What happened to hometown pride, it used to ooze out of every orifice, and now, can't even wear your own teams hat."
Karkat looked at Dave incredulously, eyebrows raised. "Dave, I'm from Chicago."
Dave shrugged, "I just felt you fit that Texan vibe,"
Karkat shook his head, smiling slightly. "That's the meaning thing anyone has ever said to me." He said grinning "I am a proud Chicagoan,"
He checked his phone and turned to the stadium. "Wait the first pitch is going out soon,"
------------------------------------------------------------
Dave spent the better part of the first few innings watching Karkat being transfixed on the game. He stared intently, visibly grimacing at the plays by the White Sox, yelling loudly at any obvious game mistakes, cheering at any contact they were able to make. Sometimes, after a play, he'd lean over, explaining to Dave what happened, gesturing wildly, trying to get his point across.
Dave had bought two beers as the vendor came by, and was sipping on one, and had offered the second out to Karkat, who graciously accepted. It seemed necessary to get through this game to him, as he slid further and further into his chair, hiding his face deeper and deeper into his hands, hiding from the smug looks he was getting from the surrounding crowd.
By the time the 5th inning came about it was pretty unsalvageable, with the Astros leading the White Sox 9-2. Karkat was gripping his hat, looking two seconds away from ripping it in half, or maybe throwing it, which only grew as another Astros player managed to hit the ball again. The Astros were leading 10-2 now. The inning ended soon after that, and Karkat stayed in a similar state, even when Dave went to get more beer, of which Karkat took again, drinking it in a way that was almost haunted.
"Dude are you like, okay?"
"It's a fucking bloodbath out there Dave, no I am not okay, Chicago barely stood a chance, this is the most nightmarish game I could have ever witnessed, and yet, here I fucking am, witnessing it!" Karkat hissed.
"It'll be okay man," Dave said, patting Karkat's shoulder in an attempt of some fake sympathy.
"Fuck off, you don't know what it's like." Karkat hissed petulantly. "Next year will be their year, and I'll be there when it is. When the White Sox are finally world champions, I'll be there Dave!"
Dave looked back at the game, the 6th inning was starting. "So have the Astros ever won?"
"Yeah, twice. Kind of." Karkat said, glued to the field again.
"Cool."
------------------------------------------------------------
The game ended badly.
A 13-3 blowout, with a singular other run eked out in the last inning.
Karkat was stormily exiting the stadium, glaring at all the smug looks which were definitely being sent his way. Dave followed him out, weaving between the crowds.
They reached the bus stop and Karkat paused, "I had a good time," he then said suddenly, "Thanks for coming with me, I know it was probably boring as shit."
"Nah man, it was good, I had a good time, I had some brisket, all's good here."
Karkat nodded, smiling up at Dave, "Anyways, are you sure you don't want a ride home, I'm literally just about to meet Sollux."
"Its fine, I like to take the bus. Best thinking time," Dave said, shrugging, seeing the bus pull up outside his stop, he waved lazily at Karkat, "See you man,"
"Bye Dave, Thanks for coming," Karkat said, softly, walking in the opposite direction, before Dave could say anything back.
------------------------------------------------------------
Dave had started showing up to their practices, he'd bring his laptop and sit up in the stands, using his special mascot privileges to get away with it. He's sit and look through jobs, and edit his papers, for an attempt at publication, so he wasn't just rotting away in his apartment.
It wasn't always the most fruitful, often getting distracted by watching the practices. Sometimes, he would just put his laptop to the side, looking down at the field. He watched all the players running back and forth between bases, and hitting balls. Classic baseball things.
It was during one of these Dave Strider Academia, Baseball sessions, that a baseball flew at his head. Baseballs being hit wasn't a thing of concern, he would honestly be more concerned if no one was hitting a ball. The notable thing was it landing in front of him, maybe 2 inches from his face, or his laptop, which might be worse.
He picked up the ball, with a raised eyebrow, and looked down at the practice, seeing Karkat waving at him with a baseball bat, showing his hand in the universal sign for phone.
Dave raised an eyebrow over his shades, looking down at his phone, seeing the expected message from Karkat.
carcinoGeneticist: COME TO MINE AFTER
turntechGodhead: buy a girl dinner first at least.
carcinoGeneticist: DON'T BE OBTUSE, ABSOLUTELY NOT WHAT I FUCKING MEANT
carcinoGeneticist: WE'RE WATCHING A BASEBALL GAME
turntechGodhead: i dont know man, i could have something happening tonight.
carcinoGeneticist: BESIDES WORK? I HAVE NEVER ONCE HEARD YOU MENTIONED DOING ANYTHING BESIDES THAT,
turntechGodhead: touche.
------------------------------------------------------------
That was how Dave ended up on a sofa in Karkat's apartment, watching the White Sox play the Chicago Cubs, wearing a brightly coloured White Sox hat, which Karkat had forced onto his head, with some explanation of the hold this could have over the game.
"Why the fuck does Chicago get two teams, give fucking Delaware a team, what did they do to deserve such treatment from the world of Major league baseball."
"Why did you pick Delaware out of all places, I can think of so many states off the top of my head more deserving of a team than Delaware."
Dave just sipped his shitty beer, that Karkat had bought on the way back from practice, in lieu of an answer, balancing his lovingly constructed hot dog on his knee.
The White Sox were leading the game, and Karkat was staring intently at the screen, gnawing on his bottom lip nervously. His arm was a hairs breath away from Dave's, and was tensed, leaving Dave to be able to see the fine taut muscle he developed from playing baseball.
He tore his vision away, keeping his eye-line on the screen, as the White Sox hit another ball, leading to another run. The commentator droned on about base hits and ground balls, but Dave couldn't really hear them over Karkat's frenzied yelling at the screen.
"That was so clearly a fucking strike, are we joking, this umpire is fucking blind," Karkat yelled, "How do you call a ball when it was thrown at least 3 inches off the zone,"
Dave just nodded in agreement, seeing now as maybe not the best time to tell Karkat that he didn't really know what that meant.
------------------------------------------------------------
Karkat sat back, relaxing slightly with the wide lead the Sox had gained over the Cubs, yawning slightly, as the time ticked on. The game had started late, and it was firmly night outside by the time they had reached the ninth inning.
"They'd need a miracle to win now," Karkat said, gleefully, as a batter for the Cubs stepped onto the plate, with two outs. The pitcher then threw a fastball, which the batter swung too early at, finishing the game with a 13-5 White Sox win. Karkat cheered loudly, throwing him arms around Dave's shoulders, knocking Dave's hat off and his shades slightly askew. Dave stiffened slightly under the sudden armful of Karkat he suddenly found himself with.
Karkat pulled back slightly, vision moving over to the screen, still not quite leaving Dave's hold. "They fucking did it, never doubt my team," Karkat said excitedly, pointing at the huddle of players hugging and high fiving in the dugout on the screen.
"I'd never do that to you man," Dave said, shifting slightly, trying to find a more comfortable way to sit on the sofa while being crushed by a whole person.
Karkat looked over at him, smiling widely, his face inches from Dave's. He could see the freckles dotting Karkat's face and the dark, red flecks in his eyes. A lock of hair falls out of Karkat's hat and Dave has to try not to move it back against his ear.
That's when the door swings open, and Karkat jumps, tumbling onto the floor. "Dude," Sollux said, staring judgmentally at Karkat.
"Not even you can ruin my good mood actually." Karkat said.
Sollux looked at the TV quickly, "No fucking way they beat the Cubs."
"Yeah they fucking did!"
Sollux shook his head disbelievingly, "Can't believe it,"
Dave looked between the two, "How bad are the White Sox?"
He get the overlapping answers of
"Bad,"
"They're in the rebuild!"
Karkat turned and glared at Sollux, who just shrugged, "Just being honest." he said, walking into his room, without saying goodbye.
Karkat turned back to Dave, "He's such a dick, next year will be their year,"
Dave nods consideringly, "I'll keep that one in mind, man,"
"Mhm," Karkat mumbled, yawning again, now that the adrenaline of the win started to ebb away
"Hey, I'll get going now,"
"Huh, no it's late, Dave," Karkat said, blinking heavily, "Just stay tonight,"
"It's fine, I can just go,"
"Dave the busses aren't even running anymore, and I can't drive right now, I'm not leaving you to walk home,"
Dave looked over at the clock seeing the time tick into midnight. He chewed the inside of his cheek consideringly, looking over to Karkat, who was leant heavily against the sofa. He didn't think Karkat would let him get away with leaving, and so he nods. Karkat smiles tiredly at him standing up, and heading towards his room, looking back at Dave. "Are you not coming?"
"Were you not offering me the couch."
"It's the most uncomfortable couch in the world, it's fine, my beds a double," He said, waving Dave off, “I don’t have any extra bedding, either,” he added after a moment.
Dave pushed himself off the sofa, following Karkat through to his room. It was small, but cozy enough, with most of it being taken over by the bed in the centre. The walls were almost entirely covered, however, with baseball merchandise, and movie posters of romantic comedies. A baseball bat was was pride and place in the centre of the wall, with a signature scrawled across the side. Dave looked through the room and his eyes caught on the bookshelves build into the wall, made of up piles and piles of brightly coloured DVDS of romantic comedies, stacked next to similarly genred books.
“Dude, do you watch any other type of movie,” Dave asked, inspecting the bookshelves.
“It’s the pinnacle of media, sorry my taste is just better than yours,”
“Sure, but do you not get uncomfortable with Will Smith’s beady eyes watching over you while you sleep, how do you get anything done? Or do you feel safer, with him looking after you,”
“You would be so fucking lucky to have Will Smith watching over you,”
“Yeah yeah. Anyways, how do you want to do this, left side, right side, what’s the deal,”
Karkat deigned to answer, climbing onto the left side of the bed, leaning down to grab his phone charger at the floor. He was sat, cross legged and Dave walked over the right side, carefully sliding in. He put as much distance as he could between him and Karkat, without making it too obvious, pulling his shades off his face, dropping them on the bedside table.
Karkat got up, switching the light off,
Dave switched his phone off, trying to just go to sleep.
------------------------------------------------------------
He woke up warm as fuck; in a room he didn’t recognise. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, and looked over at Karkat, who had migrated in his sleep, over to Dave, with an arm thrown around him. Dave balked, pulling himself out of the bed. “Shit,” he mumbled, grabbing his phone, and collecting his bag, getting ready to leave the building.
“Dave?” Karkat asked sleepily, sitting up.
“Hey, man. Just going to go now, um. Yeah sorry, I got things I got to do, laundry, you know how it is.”
Karkat just nodded, rubbing at his eyes, “I can’t get you breakfast, or like, coffee?”
“No, it’s so chill, I just oughta get home.”
“Yeah, yeah, bye I’ll see you at the game tonight.”
Dave just nodded, rushing out the building to the bus stop.
He fell heavily onto the bench at the stop, gripping his phone in his right hand. He hit his head against the plastic panelling behind him, waiting for the bus to pull up, desperately trying to ignore the impending baseball game that same evening.
In short, Dave was fucked.
------------------------------------------------------------
Dave walked into the field, in the same stupid duck costume as always. He was given a brightly coloured flag as he walked in, to wave in centre field. He did his usual song and dance, trying to keep the pep in his step he had become so known for. The heat of the day was perforating the air, the humidity making him feel disgusting and sluggish. The season had reached the middle of May by then, crawling into the summer season.
The players finally began to migrate onto the field and he gratefully walked off, pulling his head off the minute he was no longer in view of the public. Dave sat off in the corner, just about able to see the game. He watched the players from the away team coming up to home plate, finding some pride in the way they weren’t able to hit the fastballs Sollux threw at them. Or splitters, or maybe sliders. Karkat tried to explain the specific pitches once, and Dave just considered it a lost cause, there were too many, and he didn’t understand.
He tried to tamp down that memory of Karkat. This was especially hard, because he was squatted right in his eyeline, behind homeplate. He almost felt grateful once the switch over happened, with Karkat not in any of the earlier batting slots.
Dave stayed in his corner until the inning switched, and he had to go out onto the field again to entertain the masses. He really did feel like a performing seal, walking around, weaving between the crowds in the chair, if a seal was actually a giant bird, and didn’t do any of the things a performing seal did. The head just felt suffocating, not helped by the layers and layers of fur he was forced to wear.
The start of the next inning couldn’t come fast enough, when he could return back to his corner of reprieve, for another little while. The innings weren’t really as long as he thought, but maybe the anticipation made them feel shorter.
Karkat was up to bat, around halfway through the bottom of the second, with two players on base. Dave, despite his rather lacking knowledge of baseball, liked to watch Karkat play. He would stand, brows furrowed, eyes narrowed on the pitcher, with his bat clutched white knuckled in his grip. When the pitcher threw the ball, Dave watched his arm muscles tense subtly, as bat met ball, and the ball flew over the field, over the top of the outfielder’s glove.
Karkat watched the ball, as it flew into the stands across the stadium, accompanied by loud cheers, and Dave stared at Karkat’s wide eyes, and small grin, as he threw his bat behind him, running the bases.
Karkat was excitedly high fiving all the players by home and grinned over in the direction he knew Dave was hiding. Well, what was Dave to do, but give a thumbs up, hands still covered in the fur of the costume.
Karkat's team managed to maintain that same lead throughout the game, with Karkat running in another run, and Kanaya, the tall third baseman Dave often saw Karkat talking to, hit another home run into the left field, giving them a fairly solid win.
Dave finished his shift, and changed out of his costume, packing it away in his locker, ready to make scarce out of the building. He shrugged on his backpack, trying desperately to avoid the clubroom, making a beeline for the bus stop.
------------------------------------------------------------
He continued like this for the rest of the week. Go to work, dance about the field, watch Karkat play baseball, ignore him after the game.
This ended with two notable messages by the end of the week. An email from one of the archaeology companies he applied to letting him know he had the chance to go in for an interview, and one from Karkat.
carcinoGeneticist: ARE YOU IGNORING ME?
Well, shit, Dave wasn’t sure what he expected, he wasn’t being especially subtle.
turntechGodhead: nah man, ive just been busy, you know how it is
carcinoGeneticist: HAVE YOU NOW.
carcinoGeneticist: YOU CAN JUST TELL ME, I’M AN ADULT DAVE. I CAN TAKE IT, BUT DON’T DO THIS PUSSYFOOTING BULLSHIT, I’M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD.
turntechGodhead: um
Dave considered his next steps, not especially wanting to be honest, but not feeling some especially patient vibes from Karkat.
turntechGodhead: ive got an interview for another job
Dave felt that struck a balance, his social competence is truly second to none, he is the most charismatic man on the planet. There's a reason they chose him to be a college baseball mascot, out of the thousands of other applicants that he had to fight against.
carcinoGeneticist: OH.
carcinoGeneticist: THAT’S GREAT DAVE, I’M HAPPY FOR YOU.
That could have gone worse, Dave supposed, Karkat was neither cursing his entire bloodline, nor coming to his house to yell at him, which seemed like a win in Dave’s book.
carcinoGeneticist: ARE YOU FINISHING THE BASEBALL SEASON?
turntechGodhead: maybe man, idk if ill even get the job
turntechGodhead: but if i do, maybe not, it depends when they want me to start.
carcinoGeneticist: COOL
Dave had the distinct feeling he said something wrong. He couldn’t figure it out though, and he didn’t especially want to try and figure out what he said to make Karkat upset, so he did the emotionally mature thing, which was switch his phone off, and drop it onto his bedside table.
------------------------------------------------------------
There was another baseball game the next day. Dave wasn’t sure who decided they needed this many games in a single baseball season, but he sure wasn’t happy about it.
He forced himself to the stadium and looked at his mascot costumes mocking eyes and evil face.
“I think you’re actually fucking cursed man, no one's eyes should be that empty,” he mumbled to himself, turning the duck’s head side to side. “You look like you’re about to go to a pizzaria for five nights or whatever,”
He promptly shoved it on his head, revelling in the disgusting musk that came with wearing a giant furry head in the sweltering Texan heat.
He really hoped this interview went well.
------------------------------------------------------------
He walked up to Karkat at the end of the game, just outside the clubhouse, because Karkat had caught onto his game. Dave didn’t especially want to deal with the repercussions of ignoring him more.
“Good game, really hit it out of the park with that one, got the ball rolling. Kept your eye on the ball, and scored, absolutely on the ball. Of course that was par for the course, never say I doubted the playing power of the ASU wood ducks, would just be a disservice, you guys do not pull punches.”
Karkat turned, not looking especially happy to see Dave.
“You’re talking to me now?” Karkat asked, which, yeah fair.
“I...” Dave trailed off, at a rare loss for words.
Karkat groaned, throwing his hands in the air, “No you don’t get to do this, you don’t talk to me for like a week, clearly ignoring me, then you tell me about this fucking job interview, if you don’t want to see me then you should just say,”
Dave opened his mouth, and shut it a few times, trying to sort through his thoughts to try and give Karkat some semblance of an answer.
Karkat looked at Dave expectantly, for a few minutes, before, seeing the lack of answer. Without saying anything, he turned around and started walking away. Dave ran forward, grabbing Karkat’s arm.
“Wait,” Dave said, dropping his vision down to Karkat’s mouth. Karkat paused and looked up at Dave. For not the first time, Dave was grateful for his shades, leaving a barrier between his eyes, and Karkat’s weighted stare.
Dave bit his lip slightly, leaning forward, “Can I?” he mumbled. Karkat just nodded, his eyes wide.
That's when Dave closed the gap pulling Karkat in gently. Karkat's lips were slightly chapped, probably because he was biting on them all the time, and Dave ran his right hand through Karkat’s hair which was still slightly wet from the shower he took after the game.
Karkat was grabbing Dave’s waist, with one hand, tilting his head slightly. They stayed like this for a while, kissing against the side of the clubhouse, when they heard a loud wolf whistle piercing the air. Karkat instinctively pushed Dave away, panicked whipping his head around. Sure enough, there was a small group of Karkat’s fellow players staring at them.
His face was lit up bright red, as he surveyed everyone. “Took you long enough,” Sollux said, opening his phone, no doubt to text Aradia.
Karkat spluttered indignantly, starting and stopping sentences, he turned around panicked at Dave, who only shrugged.
“I don’t know, stay mad,” Dave said, “Jealousy is a disease, y’all just hate to see a guy like me winning.”
This was not the thing Karkat wanted him to say, which was made clear by the light shove he got in the side. “Fuck all of you, you’re actually all dicks,” Karkat announced, decisively, walking out of the building, grabbing Dave’s arm, dragging him out.
“Don’t have too much fun,” They heard called after them, to which Karkat shoved a middle finger behind him. He then pulled Dave into his car, and sat, cross legged on the drivers seat.
“Don’t think we’re done here,”
“In what way,” Dave said, waggling his eyebrows over his shades suggestively.
“Put those away,” Karkat said gesturing to his face, “You ignore me for a week, and then go to kissing my face, and you don’t get to do that again until you tell me what the fuck you’re feeling, because I’m getting very mixed signals here!”
Dave stopped there, he had been hoping he managed to swindle his way out of any sort of conversation, but no dice apparently.
Dave breathed in, preparing for whatever word spew was going to leave his mouth, and just started talking “I like you man, and I’m sorry I ignored you for a week, but like, I didn't know what the fuck to do with that, I guess, I just felt like, there wasn't another option, and then I got the interview, and I was even less sure,” Dave said, stumbling through this sentence, which fell heavy in his mouth. Karkat stared at Dave chewing on his lips. “I like you too if that wasn’t.” Karkat started, “If that wasn’t obvious.”
Dave nodded slowly, “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.”
“Cool” Karkat agreed sagely, because it was cool, there was no doubt about that.
“So we are,” Dave started.
“Let’s just wait and see with that one, maybe. Let's take it slow,” Karkat said
Dave nodded at that, smiling slightly at Karkat, “Yeah sounds good man.”
------------------------------------------------------------
For the few weeks after they had their discussion, it had been good, with their relationship going largely unchanged, just with a lot more ogling of Karkat’s arms while he batted, and more kissing in the changing room/janitors closet where Dave dressed into his costume.
“So how can I be sure you’re not just mackin’ on me because of how you’re feeling about the whole bird fursuit thing,” Dave asked leaning back, “I get that my sweet sweet empty beaded eyes are something you can get lost in, and the fake webbed feet are absolutely irresistible. You've got to understand though; there’s more to me than just the bird Karkat. There’s a man behind the face.” He said, grinning.
Karkat looked disbelievingly at Dave, with his hands fisted in the jersey Dave’s bird counterpart wore. “Are you fucking joking, you interrupted for that,”
“I got to make sure of these things man, can’t start this whole thing under false pretences.”
“You’re so fucking stupid,” Karkat breathed, pulling Dave in, and pressing their lips together, which was fine with Dave, no complaints from him.
What caused even less complaints, was Karkat shoving his tongue in his mouth, which was pretty sick.
What was less sick was the knock against the door, “Hey, Dave, you’ve got to go on the field now,” the voice filtered through the door. Dave pulled back, picking his head up where he put it aside later, sighing. “Sorry babe, duty calls,” Karkat seemed to jump slightly at the nickname, looking at Dave, eyes wide.
“Oh yeah, um sure, see you after the game,” he asked.
“Yeah, for sure, man,” Dave said, pulling Karkat in for one final kiss, before leaving the closet, walking out to the field.
------------------------------------------------------------
After the game, Dave met back with Karkat, beside his car, where Karkat was swinging his key gently around his hand, holding an equipment bag, with a White Sox hat back on his head.
“Hey babe, heard we’re getting our game on now,” Dave said climbing into the car.
Karkat nodded, “Yeah, they’re playing the Rockies, so, it shouldn’t be too miserable.”
Dave hummed, like he knew who the Rockies were.
------------------------------------------------------------
They were sat, later that evening curled up on Karkat’s sofa that night, where the Rockies were leading 2-1 and Karkat was barely speaking now. His face was buried in his hands, and he was barely watching at that point. Dave could only pat Karkat’s shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Karkat was also yelling passionately at the screen. “That was fucking out, where are they training these fucking umpires, it’s like they’ve never seen a game of fucking baseball are you serious,”
It was this backdrop, comforted by Karkat’s yelling, basically becoming white noise at that point, with the visual imagery of the screen, that he got the email. He had done his interview earlier that week, with the commercial archaeology company, and he wasn’t super sure how well he did, but he finished talking to them and just tried to put it out of his mind.
He read through it, before turning around and shaking Karkat’s arm, “Hey Karkat,” He said, tilting his phone towards him. He scanned over the email, his eyes bouncing around as they moved along the words on the screen, before looking up, grinning widely at Dave. “You got the job!” he said, grabbing Dave in a tight hug. “I knew it you’d do it,”
Dave nodded, brightly, “Yeah man, I'm going to back digging now, no more stuffing my body into an avian nightmare, I’m free man,”
At the mention of Dave no longer being the ASU mascot, Karkat’s smile dropped slightly.
“Are you still going, to like,” Karkat said, ripping skin off his lip, “Are we still going to see each other, when you’re not working at the stadium?”
"Yeah man, obviously,” Dave said, slightly put off by the question, not quite expecting it, “Our relationship isn’t like fully reliant of my presence on the field, as a giant bird nightmare, even if it’s unforgettable. Besides, I can see your games properly now,”
Karkat nodded, looking up at Dave, “I think I want to call you my boyfriend,” he said suddenly.
“I mean, like, yeah, that would be awesome, but you’re the one who wanted to go slow, what changed,”
“You’re watching a four-hour long baseball game of two of the worst fucking teams of the league, for me, and like, you haven’t even gone on your phone, or fallen asleep, which is better than most of my friends on the team. I don’t know Dave, it just felt right.”
Dave grinned at Karkat, “Hell yeah man, I’ll be your boyfriend, that’s pretty neat,”
Karkat smiled back at him, making his slightly crooked teeth more obvious, and the light bounced off his dark brown eyes, making the dark red flecks even more obvious. Well, when Karkat looks like that, what is Dave meant to do but kiss him.
He couldn’t be more thankful for the great sport of baseball.