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It had been 10 adventures since Pomni entered the circus.
The one that day had been particularly rough, loud screaming, jump-scares, and lots of running and hiding. She still felt her heart racing from the adventure, tears threatening to spill.
She hiccuped before she finally started crying -- immediately wiping her eyes. Her tears came out swiftly, finally crying for the first time she had arrived.
Suddenly the room felt bigger than it already was and her mind became fuzzy. She sat up quickly, hoping that the feeling would go away.
She couldn't do this here. Not now.
Pomni sniffled, rolling off of her bed and leaving her room. She managed to stifle her tears, walking to pour herself a glass of water.
As she started pouring the water into her glass, her hand slipped causing the water to spill. Her frowned deepened, feeling new hot tears start to fall down her cheeks. She could barely think as she tried pouring it again only to spill more.
"Pomni..?" she heard a small voice behind her.
Pomni swiftly turned her head to see Ragatha standing timidly behind her, watching as the water spilled on to the floor.
Pomni placed the carton of water down. "I-i'm sorry. I.. I'll clean it up." She said, fumbling and stuttering over her words. Pomni felt her face heat up. She hated this, she hated feeling so small, she hated the way her brain felt cloudy and she couldn't think properly.
"Hey.. hey it's okay, Pomni. It was a mistake. I'll help you." Ragatha smiled, she walked over grabbing the paper towels and began wiping the water up.
Pomni felt useless as she stared at the ground watching Ragatha clean the water. "I-I'm sorry." She mumbled again, fiddling with the balls on her costume.
Ragatha shook her head, still smiling. "It's no problem, really. I'm very clumsy, I spill things all the time" She laughed weakly, waving her hand dismissively as she threw out the paper towel.
When Ragatha looked up, Pomni was sniffling, still wiping away her tears. "Are you alright, Pomni?" She asked, so softly it made Pomni's head fell lighter.
Pomni frowned. She couldn't slip in front of Ragatha, she can't. Everyone will think she can't take care of herself, that she's too childish, that she's not capable.
Unfortunately, that only made Pomni slip more. "'m okay.." she mumbled, turning back to pick up the carton again, but her hand shook as she started lifting it.
Ragatha immediately took the carton from her. "I can help you--"
"No!" Pomni yelled, snatching it back from her and slamming it on the table.
Ragatha's eyes widened as she stepped back. "Oh, I'm sorry Pomni! I should have asked first."
"No! I don't need help," Pomni said, stamping her foot. "'m a big girl. I can do it."
Ragatha paused, looking at Pomni. Her eyes were twinkling from her tears, slightly red and puffy from her crying. Her demeanor became softer, understanding.
"I see." Ragatha nodded. "Of course you are, you are a very big girl." She hummed as she calmly guided Pomni's hand back to the carton. "How about this, you pour the water and i'll hold on to the bottom just in case, is that okay?"
Pomni slowly nodded.
"Thank you, Pomni." She said, allowing Pomni to tilt the carton and pour the water into her glass. Ragatha kept a steady hand on the bottom, just enough to stop the carton from slipping or shaking. It wasn't commanding or controlling, just guiding softly. Pomni appreciated the independence.
This time, no water was spilled and Pomni smiled, giggling as she felt proud of her work.
"See, you could do it." Ragatha's smile widened as Pomni took the cup and took a sip. "You are very capable, Pomni. Sometimes it's nice to ask for help though. Even big girls need help too sometimes."
Pomni felt a wave of relief at that -- Ragatha didn't see her any less, she still thought Pomni was capable. She didn't look down at her, just offered help.
Pomni looked up at Ragatha with big glossy eyes, taking her hand.
Ragatha looked a little surprised from Pomni holding her hand, but accepted it gladly. Pomni saw her eyes twinkle in excitement and her smile widen from the gesture.
"Do you want to go back to your room now?" Ragatha asked.
Pomni nodded and she felt Ragatha start to move toward her room.
Ragatha had gently guided her into her room, allowing Pomni to sit on the floor. Pomni quietly played with one of the toys, stacking blocks on top of each other.
Ragatha smiled before turning away. "Goodnight, Pomni." She whispered.
Right before she was about to open the door she heard Pomni shuffle. "Wait, Ra," She mumbled.
Ragatha turned around to see a frowning Pomni. "What's wrong?"
"Can.. stay?" Pomni mumbled, quietly hoping she didn't sound too vulnerable. She nervously rubbed her hands on the rough carpet beneath her to ground herself.
Ragatha looked surprised before smiling again. "Yeah, of course I can stay with you."
Pomni smiled, making grabby hands towards her.
Ragatha softly sat next to Pomni, watching her stack blocks and solve rubrics cubes. Pomni felt safe like this, cared for but still feeling capable and independent.