Chapter Text
2012
The NHL had Shane Hollander, he was practically the face of the organisation and had been since he was a rookie. The PWHL had Ava Hollander, she had also been the face of the organisation since she had been a rookie. The difference between Shane and his sister was that Shane was almost always referred to by name, whereas Ava was referred to as 'Shane Hollander's sister' and while she loved her brother dearly, she was sick to death of it. Because why the fuck was women's hockey treated as a novelty compared to men's hockey? Ava could probably skate circles around most of the male players, she had moves that were Hall of Fame worthy and yet, all she was ever known for was being the sister of an NHL player.
So, yes, being referred to as the sister of a star pissed her off. She used that anger on the ice, determined to show her skills and and to become at least known as a hockey player. Hockey was in her blood, her father had played in college and she had grown up watching Montreal play every Saturday night, regardless of the fact that her family resided in Ottawa. Her parents had started her lessons when she had first started walking, her baby brother following in her footsteps. She was drafted to the PWHL halfway through her first year of college and had been the first pick in the draft and had now been playing for Boston for 5 years. Which was a point of irony in her family now that Shane was playing for Montreal and his biggest rival also played for Boston. Ava could tell her mother, specifically, struggled a little with wanting to support her daughter and her unrestrained hatred for Boston, especially when the Boston Fleet played against the Montreal Victoire but her mother was also the loudest cheer she could hear whenever she scored a goal.
It was rare that Shane could attend her games, even if they were in Montreal; he was usually at mandatory training or at a game of his own, but tonight was one of those rare nights in which all three of her family members were in attendance. Ava had seen her brother and parents watching from the friends and family box and while none of them were wearing Boston or Montreal colours (Yuna Hollander would die before she touched a Boston jersey, but she was also respectful enough to not wear her daughters' opposing team jersey to the game), they were cheering for her and her team, albeit slightly grudgingly.
By the end of the game, Boston was about to win with a 6-5 lead when Ava scored her third and final goal of the game. It had been an almost impossible one since the Montreal players had surrounded her and Kira Taylor, Montreal's goalie, had been stopping most of their goals all night. But Ava had spotted the opening, faked a pass, and scored. Once the game was over, Ava showered as quickly as possible and then had to face the reporters, who of course asked how she felt about her 'NHL Star brother' being in attendance before they even started to ask about the hat trick she had scored tonight.
"It's always great to see my family in the stands, I couldn't be luckier to have the support they give me," Ava answered, because she wasn't about to let this become about Shane Hollander.
"Will you be in attendance at the Montreal v Tampa game tomorrow night?" One of the other reporters asked. Ava almost sighed.
"Thankfully, I have an off day tomorrow so I will be there. Any more questions?" Hands went up and Ava quickly said, "About the game we played tonight?"
The hands went down. Ava respectfully excused herself, hoping Jessica, her alternate Captain, could answer the rest of the questions. This type of thing didn't happen often, usually only when Shane was in attendance, but it was getting old now. Ava knew her brother was a highly skilled and popular player, but why the fuck couldn't the reporters discuss the game that had just been played? What was so interesting about Shane Hollander watching the game from the stands? Ava did not resent her brother, she loved him, she respected him and his talent, but she wished that his presence wouldn't overshadow hers.
Ava greeted her family with a smile and allowed her mother and father to gather her into a hug while her brother patted her on the back with a smile.
"Man, that last goal was awesome," Shane said, giving his sister a friendly punch to her shoulder.
"So the other two were shit?" Ava asked, deadpan. Shane looked taken aback and scrambled to to reassure his sister that he didn't mean it like that.
"No, I just meant-"
"Relax, I'm teasing. You gotta learn when I'm not being serious," she grinned, then turned back to her parents. "Are we still on for dinner?"
--
After a delicious dinner at her parents' favourite Montreal restaurant, Ava and Shane headed back to his apartment because the good thing about having family at an away game was that you could sleep somewhere other than a hotel room you had to share with a rookie. Shane always told Ava she was welcome to stay at his apartment when she had a game in Montreal, whether he was in Montreal or at an away game and Ava always took advantage of the offer because Shane's apartment was better than a hotel room by a landslide. It also allowed the two of them to have catch up sessions together after their parents had gone home to Ottawa. They were sat together on his couch, Ava with a glass of her favourite wine Shane kept on hand, while Shane sipped from a can of ginger ale because, as always, he refused to drink during the season.
"So, how's life in Boston? Ready to be traded yet?" Shane asked, his usual faint smile showing.
"Ha ha. It's good, plenty of nightlife. Totally not your thing, have you ever even been to a club?" Ava asked, because she lived to tease her little brother. His aversion to having any kind of fun was something Ava didn't share with him, but she wouldn't change him for the world. He was an introvert, and that was part of what made Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander.
"I've been to clubs! I just don't particularly like them. They're too loud and there's too many people."
"I bet you leave as soon as you can when you're dragged there by Hayden or JJ, right? Stand at the bar and drink your ginger ale before quietly slipping away?" Ava guessed, eyes twinkling. Shane scoffed and looked away, which was basically a confirmation as far as Ava was concerned because her brother was a terrible liar. "Whatever, who the fuck cares if you don't like clubs anyway? You have the things you love to keep you happy."
"Yeah, I guess." Shane shrugged and took a sip of his drink.
Ava was about to change the subject when her phone chimed, then cringed when she saw the message ID.
"What's that face for?" Shane asked, which meant Ava had not been subtle about her reaction if Shane had been able to notice her discomfort.
"Nothing, really. Just this girl I had a disastrous date with last week. She spent the entire date talking about feet and then apparently didn't get the hint that was going to be our first and only date," Ava laughed, looking up at her brother after blocking Sadie's number from her phone. Except Shane had a weird look on his face, one Ava couldn't decipher. "What?"
"Did you say she?" He asked. He almost looked pained, and Ava couldn't understand why he was confused about this, or why he looked like that.
"Yeah, I know it sounds like a creepy guy thing to do to discuss a foot fetish on a first date but-"
"No, Aves, it's not the foot thing. Though that is weird. Since when do you date women?" He asked, his voice strained and quiet like they were discussing where to hide the body of a person they had just murdered together. Which was ridiculous because if Shane was going to kill someone, he'd plan it so meticulously that a discussion wouldn't be needed.
"I don't know, since always I guess. Why are you surprised? You know I date women!" Ava was feeling strangely giddy, like she could start laughing and never stop.
"No, no I don't. I would definitely remember you telling me something like that," Shane strangled out and now Ava was concerned, because her brother was acting like this was life changing information and while she believed he wasn't homophobic, this reaction was a little bit much.
"Shane, I've complained to you about dates I've been on a thousand times!"
"You never mentioned gender! Or pronouns! I don't know, you've never told me you were into women or were gay or anything," he protested.
"I'm a female hockey player, Shane. Even if I hadn't come out you, which I'm pretty sure I did, I think it's safe to say that I'm queer," Ava said, baffled. She was sure she had come out to Shane, at some point.
"Nope. That never happened. Trust me, I'd remember my sister coming out to me! And I'm not just going to assume you're a lesbian just because of your career!" Shane sputtered, eyes wide and face flushed.
"Not a lesbian, unfortunately I do still like men. I'm bisexual. Are you sure I never came out to you? I could swear I have a vivid memory of coming out to you when we were teenagers." Ava looked way from Shane and searched her brain for the memory and she could tell Shane was doing the same.
She remembered sitting on the couch with Shane in their childhood home, much like how they were currently sat together, watching a hockey game. She had told him that she was bisexual, that she liked girls as well as boys, and Shane had been supportive until... until he had morphed into a hockey puck and Ava had hit puck-Shane into the TV that had become a net.
"Oh, that might have been a dream. Do you by any chance have the ability to shapeshift into a hockey puck?" Ava asked, grinning.
"You thought you came out to me, even though this memory you had of coming out to me involved me turning into a hockey puck?" Shane asked, grinning back at his sister.
"If it makes you feel any better, I scored a goal with you! Does this mean I never came out to mom and dad either?"
"I don't know, did they turn into hockey sticks?"
They laughed together, but then Shane turned away and looked deep in thought with a blank expression on his face. Ava knew that look well and had to change the subject because Shane was the type of person to get stuck in his head if allowed.
"Okay this was weird. You have to tell me something I don't know now, I'm feeling exposed." Ava said nervously, taking a big gulp of her wine and finishing the glass. She doubted he’d have anything interesting to tell her. She loved Shane, but he wasn’t the most exciting person around, even if he was a pro hockey player at the top of his game.
Shane was quiet for a while, staring into his can of ginger ale before he looked back up at his sister. Ava knew her brother well, better than most people. She knew it was hard for him to talk to anyone about certain things, that he definitely had autistic tendencies that had never been checked out, that trust was hard for him. Shane looked at Ava and the look in his eyes told her that he was about to tell her something important.
"Okay. Fuck. I need to tell someone this. Promise me you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.” He looked scared, like if anyone found out his secret he would die. Shane had never sounded like that before, so terrified. Ava hoped that Shane knew he could trust her with anything so she agreed and waited with bated breath for her brother to muster up the courage to tell her what he needed to tell her.
"You can trust me with anything, Shane," Ava said softly.
“I’m fucking Ilya Rozanov. Fuck. Seriously, you can’t tell anyone, Ava,” he said it all so quickly that Ava had to take a second to decipher what he'd said, then blinked in shock. Surely, she hadn't heard him right. Did her brother actually just admit to sleeping with his arch rival? With Ilya Fucking Rozanov? She couldn’t fault him for it, Rozanov was very fun to look at and he was probably the only player that had any chance of beating Shane in a face off.
“Are you serious?” Ava asked. It was the only thing she could ask.
“It’s… a long story. It’s not serious or anything, it’s just something that sort of happens when we have a game against each other,” Shane explained, as if any of it made sense. Ava knew she had to tread carefully, because if she gave Shane the impression that she was judging him for this (which she wasn't!), he would shut down.
”Holy shit. How long has this been going on? I knew the NHL had to be gayer than it appears, there’s no way all those hot guys are straight.” Ava joked. Her brother was the most boring man alive, but now a lot of things were starting to make sense. He had never discussed his dating life with Ava before, regardless of all the times she had talked to him about hers and now she knew why.
“Since before rookie season,” Shane said and it sounded like a wince.
"Before?! This has been going on for over two years?"
Ava didn’t know how to respond. Shane wasn’t the type of person to do something that could fuck up his career, hockey was everything to him, the same way it was everything to Ava. They’d both grown up playing hockey, both utterly in love with the sport thanks to their parents and both lucky enough to make the professional leagues when they were drafted.
“Like I said, it’s a long story. It’s.. casual.” Shane said, but there was a pause before casual that led Ava to believe it was anything but. She wouldn't tell him that though, she knew he would only deny it and get defensive and she wanted him to keep talking because this was the most insane and interesting this Ava had heard in a long time.
"Casual. So that's how you've been spending all your time when in Boston? 'Sorry Ava, I can't meet you after the game, we have early curfew,' my ass! Too busy getting your dick sucked by your arch rival to visit your big sister!" Ava chastised, but she had a huge grin on her face that said she wasn't angry at all. "But let's just set this boundary now before you say anything else, I have absolutely no interest in hearing what you do with Ilya Rozanov because I don't need to know what you get up to in the bedroom or I may vomit."
“Fuck you! I visit you every time I’m there when you don’t have a game!” Her brother laughed back and Ava was glad that he hadn't gotten awkward and stopped talking. She could tell he was freaking out a little though. "God why the fuck did I just tell you that? You won't tell anyone, right? Not even mom and dad!"
"Please, Shane, I can keep a secret. Apparently I've hid my own sexuality pretty well without even knowing I was doing it!" Ava chuckled. Shane was starting to look less like a deer in headlights and more like himself again as he cracked a grin and shook his head. "How did that even start? You're so awkward, I can't see you flirting with the cocky Russian that is Ilya Rozanov. Did he come on to you?"
"It was weird, for me at least. Do you remember when I did that CCM commercial with him? After we finished shooting it, we ended up in the showers and, uh, well..." Shane trailed off, a blush appearing on his face as he looked away from Ava.
"Oh my god! Shane Hollander you whore! I'm strangely proud, though. Rozanov is hot as fuck," Ava said and Shane grimaced. "What, you can fuck him but I can't admire him?"
"It's weird, you're my sister and he's... I don't know." Shane shook his head and Ava decided to change the subject because it looked like Shane's head was about to explode.
"Anyway, how's Hayden doing? Didn't you say his wife is pregnant with twins?"
--
Later that night, after Ava had gone to sleep in his guest room, Shane felt as though a weight had lifted off his shoulders. This thing with him and Rozanov was something he didn’t know how to deal with most of the time and it was good to have someone to talk to about it. Someone he knew wouldn’t judge him about it. Ava wasn’t the judgemental type, and she could keep a secret. He trusted her, which was the reason he untimely decided to tell her. Until he realised he probably should tell Rozanov that Ava knew and hoped that it wouldn’t fuck everything up.
As soon as he sent the text, Shane’s phone started ringing and the screen lit up, the name ‘Lily’ flashing on the screen. Fuck. If Rozanov was calling him, he’d definitely fucked up. Steeling himself, he answered.
“What happened to ‘please don’t tell anyone, I’ll cry if anyone finds out my big gay secret’?” Rozanov’s Russian accent chirped, an amused lilt to his voice. There was something about that tone and the accent that made something in his stomach tighten, which he didn't want to think about.
“Well I definitely didn’t say it like that. I didn’t plan on telling her anything but she told me something personal and I guess I knew she would be the one person who wouldn’t judge me about this.” Shane replied. He couldn’t tell if Rozanov was pissed or not.
“If you trust her, I have no reason not to. Fuck, if you’re telling someone about us you’ve either been replaced with- what is word? Clone! Or your sister is the most trustworthy person in the fucking world. Hold on, this is same sister who plays for Boston in PWHL?” Rozanov asked and Shane could tell there was a smirk playing on his lips and knew exactly where this was going to go and Shane also knew he was powerless to stop it from happening.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Shane warned.
“We live in same city! Why shouldn’t we be friends?”
That might have been the most terrifying thing Shane had ever heard come out of Rozanov's mouth, because Shane had a suspicion that if Ava and Rozanov were ever in the same room, the Earth would implode. And if Ava and Rozanov became friends? Shane wasn't sure what would happen. He didn't want to find out. He was doomed.