Work Text:
Tommy drove to his childhood home to see his mother on the day he turned 25. As he parked the car on the side of the road, he allowed himself to hang back for a little while. Hands still on the steering wheel he looked at the house and was almost certain about seeing the curtains move. Great. His presence wasn't a surprise any longer, so he would have to get out of the car soon enough. It had, again, been some time since he'd last been back home. It wasn't his mother's fault that he preferred to stay at his apartment and occasionally crash with either Freppa or Määnin. More often it was the latter of the two. As Tommy grew older, it was only natural for him to spend less and less time with his still living parent. It didn't make him a bad person. That's what he had to remind himself of.
After a minute or so had passed, Tommy told himself to open the door and get out of the car. Very soon he already found himself standing at the porch. He was just about to ring the doorbell when the door almost flew open, forcing Tommy to step back so he wouldn't get hit in the face.
"Tomas..!"
his mother greeted him.
"I'd been waiting for you to show up ever since you called. It's so good to see you, come in!"
He did, and was pulled into a hug the moment he'd been able to close the door.
"Happy birthday, Tommy.. How is my boy already 25 years old?"
She continued as she held Tommy in a proper bear hug.
"Yeah, I don't know.."
Tommy mumbled into her shoulder. He didn't want to say that she was just squeezing the life out of him, but thankfully she let go of him moments later.
"Alright, Tommy, take off your shoes and come to the kitchen. I baked a cake for you!"
A cake.
Sure, Tommy should have expected it, of course. But somehow the very obvious and likely possibility of there being cake had completely slipped his mind. He had requested that there wouldn't be a huge party. Who would have come, anyway? Freppa and Määnin, maybe. That.. was probably about it.
He took off his shoes and already left them how he always did at his apartment; however he pleased. But he turned around almost immediately and returned to fix them and actually placed them neatly by the wall before he could be told to do so.
"Aren't I a little too old for this?"
he asked as he first entered the kitchen and saw the cake and cookies placed on the table. It was all too much just for two people.. As much as Tommy was able to eat on most days.
"You're never too old to eat cake, Tomas."
"Well.. Yeah. I guess not."
Tommy liked cake, of course. Although, nowhere near as much as that Jakob from KAJ. He was a proper cake monster. Tommy had seen that video of him filmed right after that stupid song about karaoke had been released. ..Not that he followed their Instagram or was in any way interested in anything KAJ did.
"When are you seeing Fredrik and Jean Filip next?"
his mother asked as he approached the table.
"Tomorrow, for band practice,"
Tommy said as he watched her place down two mugs and little, clear plates which he remembered were already around in his childhood.
"I'll give you some cake to share with them, as well. It's good that you three are still friends. Now, sit down and I'll pour you some coffee."
"I can help, if.."
he offered, but was politely turned down.
"Oh, no. You're the birthday boy, so please, just let me."
Tommy then took his place at the table without another word. There was one quite big reason as to why he hadn't been to visit anywhere as often as he should have. Should he say something about it, or just keep it to himself like he'd done so far? These thoughts swam back and forth in his mind as his mother poured coffee and plated up generous pieces of cake for them both.
"There, that should be everything.. Dig in and eat as much as you want, as long as you leave something for your friends,"
she suggested as she finally sat down. She didn't need to tell him twice.
A few minutes passed by. Tommy, surprisingly, didn't say much and only talked when he was asked something. After telling his mother something about their future plans for the band, Tommy went quiet again, this time for longer. The tiny spoon still in hand, he bit his bottom lip. His mother noticed this change in him, of course.
"Is something wrong?"
she asked and looked right at him. Tommy released a breath. Alright.. It looked like he was going to talk about what was on his mind, after all.
"..Was I really a mistake?"
he asked, avoiding looking at the woman sitting on the opposite side of the table.
"I know you were young when you met dad and.. I wasn't exactly planned."
He bit his lip again, this time almost hard enough to draw blood.
"Tomas.. It doesn't make you a mistake. Or change how much I love you,"
his mother than reassured him, her voice remained steady and even. Tommy was secretly grateful as it might have been just what he needed.
"Yeah.. I've just been thinking about it a lot.. I know you wanted to leave Vörå after dad died. You didn't have to stay just because I like it here.."
Then he finally looked up at her and sighed when he saw the look on her face; the worry and subtle hurt.
"I'm sorry, mom.. I didn't even mean to bring it up, but.."
he started to form an apology, but was stopped before he got very far.
"No, it's okay. It's good that you did. You know you can always talk to me about whatever's on your mind."
She then stood up and walked to him. Without asking or explaining anything, she held out her hand. Tommy took it and was pulled up to his feet. He could only have time to blink before he found himself being pulled in to a hug.
"I know you always felt like you were stuck here.."
he mumbled into her shoulder. It was a little uncomfortable as he was taller than her. He could feel her hand slowly moving through his hair.
"Did I prevent you from really living your life? Would it have been better if you never.. if you never saw dad that one day? If I never came to be?"
Tommy's questions were starting to get more real, and the hesitant tone in his voice forced all the already decided-on words to evade her. So she did the only thing she reasonably could, and held onto him even tighter.
"I'm sorry if I ruined everything. Both of your lives."
"You didn't ruin anything, Tommy. Maybe I haven't always been the best mother to you, but.. I'm proud of who you've become,"
she was then finally able to whisper. Tommy didn't feel entirely convinced but nodded anyway and chose not to keep talking about the subject anymore.
His mother let go of him soon after. And as she did, they both sat back down, continuing to drink coffee and eat cake in silence. She was the first one to drink the last drops of her coffee, and then left the room, giving Tommy a little bit of time to think.
"I found this by chance the other day,"
she said as she eventually came back. Tommy turned to look at her curiously, licked the spoon and put back on the now empty plate. She was holding a denim jacket with some significant wear patterns and faded, softened fabric near the elbows. Seeing it brought back some memories in Tommy's mind right away.
"Is that..?"
he went on to ask, and she nodded.
"Your first denim jacket? Yes. You were, what? 10, 11? Something like that. You wanted to be so much like Jean Filip because you really looked up to him."
"Still do,"
Tommy mumbled under his breath. And then, after a short while he added:
"Can I.. take it home?"
"Of course, it's actually why I kept it somewhere I wouldn't forget about it."
He stayed for a few more hours, and when he at last walked back to his car, the old denim jacket was draped over his arm. As promised, he hadn't been sent home empty-handed; he had plenty of cake and cookies with him. He placed the old, repurposed ice cream containers on the passenger seat and then circled the car to get to the driver's seat. Before starting the car and driving away he could see his mother standing by the kitchen window. She waved at him.
Without hesitation, Tommy waved back.