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Thjazi was dead. Actually dead. It had sunken in for Thimble a while ago. But, to Thimble, he was still there, at least sort of. He was there when she heard “Broken Wing” again. He was there in his favourite jokes and books. He was there when she tried to drink some Yagraz again. It wasn’t her favourite, but she could see why Thjazi liked it. It was particularly funny to watch Wick squirm when he drank it while Tyranny chugged it with gusto.
Thimble could see him everywhere. She could see him in the fury at an oppressive government. She could see him in the courage of her friends who fought for what was right. But, mostly, she saw bits of Thjazi in Hal. The way he smiled when he heard a good joke. His kindness to others who needed it. His bravery was like Thjazi’s in a way. But it was also a bit different. Thjazi’s bravery was a roar of defiance and a raging tidal wave, while Hal’s bravery was a gentle voice and a sturdy tree.
Hal had even taken Thjazi’s horse, Daisy, after he had died. When Thjazi first suggested the name, Thimble was sort of sceptical. Daisy didn’t really look like a daisy. She was a thin, brown mare with scars and a defeated air about her. They had just run out of a bar after starting yet another bar fight. Thimble was pretty good at that. Daisy was tied up outside, and Thjazi had seen her and whispered to Thimble,
“You see that horse? That’s our next adventure.”
But, as he was calming her down, Daisy’s owner came out ready to attack. But, before he could actually do anything, Thimble had stabbed him with her needle to get his attention, flew around to make him mad, then pelted rocks at him. One hit him right between the eyes, and it knocked him out cold. She had then flown over to catch up with Thjazi, who was leading Daisy away, trying to look casual and inconspicuous before he climbed on and rode away.
When they’d stopped, and Thjazi had found some food for them and pain relief for Daisy, Thimble had asked,
“Uh, Thaz? Are you sure this is the best idea? I mean, I trust you on these sorts of things, but you think this horse can keep up with, well, with us and our lives?”
“Yeah, I think so,” grinned Thjazi, “I could see there was something about her. I don’t know what, but I knew she was better than that life, don’t you think?” Thimble had nodded.
“Plus, we’re together now, and nothing's going to stop that, right girl?” Thjazi added, stroking Daisy’s neck. Daisy nudged him in the chest, which Thimble took as a yes.
How wrong he was and how Thimble wished that Thjazi was still alive. Daisy was hurting when she figured out that Thjazi wasn’t coming back. Thimble could tell. But when Hal came to find her, Thimble could see that a weight was lifted off both of their shoulders. Hal had buried his head in Daisy's neck, looking like he was going to break down any second. At that point, it was clear. They would miss him together, not apart.
So, even though Thjazi was dead, Thimble knew that deep down, he wasn’t really gone. He still lived on in his favourite things and her memories.