Work Text:
Bakugou once told him that death was not frightening. Rather it was oddly soothing and peaceful. He remembered being engulfed by a warm, All Might-shaped light. He said it felt like returning to where it all started; to feel childlike wonder again.
Shouto shouldn’t be surprised when it’s nothing like that for him. One moment he’s in the chaos of a villain fight, the next, he he’s here. There is no bright light in the shape of All Might. There is a worn tatami with dents and scorch marks on the floor that Shouto knows all too well. Because for Todoroki Shouto, returning to the starting point is this - crouching on his knees in the family dojo, sweat and smoke stinging his eyes, fighting the nausea, the pain, forcing his spasming muscles to cooperate. It’s the hell his father created on earth with Shouto as the centerpiece. There is no escaping karma. The dark reason of his existence, the suffering his birth unleashed on the world can never be balanced, no matter how hard Shouto has worked or how many lives he has saved in his short career. He’s born as Endeavor’s son and dies as Endeavor’s son. Foolishly believing that he could escape his fate, his blood was nothing but an illusion.
The dojo is empty and Shouto rolls on his back, staring at the ceiling. He briefly wonders how the battle ended. He remembers stomping his foot down, sending a mighty river of ice to reinforce a collapsing bridge with half a dozen vehicles trapped on top of it. He remembers the honey-colored eyes of the little girl staring at him from the rear window of a bus, crinkling with a relieved smile. Shouto must have gotten caught by another villain then. How embarrassing. He hopes that little girl made it though. The last life he saved.
Come on. Get up.
The voice echoes inside his head. Shouto ignores it. He’s really really tired. He closes his eyes.
Hey. I said get up, you idiot.
The voice sounds louder, more urgent. Shouto sits up an looks around the training room which is still empty. There is a small figure in a white jumpsuit in the doorway. His piercing blue eyes are all too recognisable. Shouto’s heart jumps, even though it doesn’t make sense. Do dead people have cardiac function?
“Touya-nii?” Shouto asks, slightly surprised that there is an afterlife where he’s not condemned to be alone in his personal hell. If he can share it with Touya, death may not suck so much after all.
“What are you doing here?” Touya doesn’t look happy. His arms are crossed on his chest and he looks kind of mad.
“I’m dead, I think,” Shouto replies.
“What a lame excuse. You are so dumb,” Touya replies, unimpressed.
“I’m sorry?” Shouto says, like a question. He’s not sure what he’s apologising for. After all, he’s the one who ended up dead.
“Useless. Come with me,” Touya urges as he grabs onto Shouto’s wrist and starts to pull him through the empty house, towards the garden.
“Where are we going?” Shouto asks.
Touya stops beside the koi pond.
“Look!”
Shouto looks. There are two fish in the water; one white and one red-and-white.
“The fish are us?” He asks.
Touya just tsk-s at him and points impatiently. “Look deeper.”
Unsure what he means, Shouto leans more over the pond, seeing their reflections, his own and Touya’s. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to see. But he keeps staring until something bright appears, like a lamp in the dentist office. Shouto blinks as his eyes fill with tears and looks again. Beyond the ripples, the fish, his and Touya’s face… beyond the lamp, he sees a shape in an operating table covered with sheets. A body with Shouto’s face lies motionless. His arm is hooked up to tubes and wires and there are monitors showing a steady heartbeat.
“I’m not dead?” he asks.
“Finally, you figured it out,” Touya replies.
“But why are we here then?”
“If you mean the house… well, I don’t know. This is your vestige world, not mine,” Touya says with irritation like it was inconsiderate of Shouto not to have taken them to a cool beach or something. But maybe it makes sense, because it all started here. The house his father built on rotten foundations and immoral quirk marriages.
Wait…
“Vestige world? But how?”
Touya shrugs again. ”It happened when your phosphor and my phosphor mingled like some primordial soup.”
“Have you been here ever since?” Shouto asks a bit mortified, trying to remember what embarrassing things may have Touya witnessed here in all those years.
“Don’t worry, it’s not like I spend all my time spying on your boring-ass life,” Touya shrugs nonchalantly, and before Shouto can asks him what he’s been up to all this time, he adds “In any case. The question is not why I’m here. The question is why are you?”
“Where should I be?”
“Fighting for your life, idiot. Or are you just going to let them dissect you?”
Shouto looks around. The garden looks peaceful. As far as places go, it’s not too bad.
“Don’t even think about it,” Touya grits out. “And stop holding yourself back.”
“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.” Shouto shrugs. “Real world me is knocked out with some drugs and tied down too.”
“That shouldn’t be an obstacle.”
“Did you hear the part where I can’t move?” Shouto asks.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Do I have to do everything?" Touya sighs dramatically and blue fire erupts from his hand, dancing on his forearm, licking his elbow. “Well, don’t stare like a halfwit. Give me your hand.”
Shouto extends his hand towards Toya until their fingertips brush. The blue flame curls around Shouto’s fingers. It’s hot. Too hot.
“Just breathe, you are built to be able to take this,” Touya scolds him. So Shouto breathes and his mind quiets more.
“Now you just need to take them out!”
Shouto tries to will his arm lift down in the mirror world. “I can’t move,”
“Well, it was worth a try. But I can if you want me to. If you let me free,” Touya says.
“How do I do that?”
“I don’t know… Try imagining it. Think of it as sending your big brother to help you.”
Shouto looks at the flame, closes his eyes and imagines Touya dancing, Touya becoming the flame that’s wild and cannot be held down with drugs or restraints. Help me, Touya-nii, he pleads inside his mind, silently.
The flame then grows until it becomes as big as a human. It takes the shape of his big brother as grown up - all blue, liquid flame. He turns around with a demonic smile. “Watch me, little brother!”
Shouto watches mesmerised through the rippling mirror of the koi pond as a blue flame appears on his limp fingertips, growing into the shape of Touya. The people in medical masks barely have a moment to panic before they are hit by his flame-brother’s fiery fist. They fall to the floor.
Flame Touya then walks to the medical tray and Shouto realises he can see through his eyes. He notices a small vial of Methylphenidate and Flame Touya grabs it, and fills it into a syringe. He stabs it into Shouto’s arm and his prone body wakes with a jolt.
Shouto for a moment is in two places at once - his newly awakened body staring at Flame Touya, while his child-self still staring into the pond, watching his own and Touya’s reflection. He feels as if his head is going to split with pain and his eyes blur.
“What is this?”
“This is our power, little brother. Don’t waste it,” Touya says as he pushes Shouto into the pond. He falls down down down until he’s back in his adult body standing on shaking legs, still staring at Flame Touya. He extends his hand and Flame Touya does the same. Their fingertips brush. Then Flame Touya shrinks until he’s just a small dancing blue flame on Shouto’s fingertip. Shouto looks at it amazed, wondering if it was all some weird dream from whatever drug they used to put him under. There is no time for reflection though, because he hears footsteps running down the corridor. No time to waste then.
“Thanks, Touya-nii,” he whispers, and starts running towards the exit.