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Richie looked over at the kid playing street fighter next to him... he was kinda cute. Maybe this would help him get over Eddie faster, because Jesus he needs to get on that before it bites him in the ass. but before he knows it, their time runs out on the game. The kid won.
"I should go-" says the kid as he starts walking out he seemed spooked... huh wonder why.
"hey no- wait I uh" Richie fumbles for his extra play token. "I have one more, we could play another round? can let you just win like that ya’know." he smiles brightly trying to charm the kid back, until he notices the reason why he got spooked in the first place.
Henry.
*Fuck* he thinks. well it's too late now.
"I was playing with this freak when he tried to come onto me dude!"
said that fucking kid he was playing with. Richie was thinking he was less and less cute the more he spoke. Henry seemed to notice.
"Richie Tozier. trying to Bone my fucking cousin?" He grabbed Richie's hair and slammed his face hard against the street fighter machine. That's gonna be a black eye. awesome. "Get the hell out of it arcade, *faggot*. before I beat the fucking gay out of you." he let go.
Richie had heard these same words spat at him hundreds of times but for some reason they hit harder today. probably because his face hurts now, and maybe because he's lost all of his friends including the love of his life (fun new development he just figured that out) due to a freakey ass dream clown that won't stop following them around. He doesn't have the resolve to deal with this right now so he just runs out. like a fucking coward. Jesus Christ he's just like a coward like the villain hero's shame in movies for running out during fights after one hit. He slumps down on the bench by the stage god knows what is used for, and the lumberjack statue. He never liked that lumberjack to big for his tastes. He sighs and puts his head in his hands trying not to cry in public. He can't go home like this, his dad would probably have his head on a stick for having teary eyes. He looks up and realizes the lumberjack is gone. "fuck fuck fuck fuck this can't be happening" he whispers to himself. he closed his eyes. “this isn't real this isn't real this isn't real.” he opened his eyes cautiously. He looks around for it, and the second he turns his head he's met with the face of the lumberjack and its mouth opening, covered in blood and nails, wood split unevenly and sharp. Richie screams like a girl, and runs. *again*
He should have seen this coming,
he thinks as he runs as far as he can. until he gets to a bridge. No one seems to be here so he sits on the edge chest still heaving from his run here ... and he just looks into the water under him. pretty far drop... he sighs and takes his glasses off to clean them, but he just cries, it's all he can do. he's exhausted, he's drained, he hates who he is, who he loves, he hasn't spoken to any of his real friends in months and he's not sure he ever will again, and Eddie. *oh Eddie*, He sits crying with the rest of the world silent around him for what feels like hours. Out of nowhere he feels a hand on his shoulder. He hurrys to put his back on glasses to make sure it's not Henry and his goons again.
*Eddie?*
he hasn't talked to Eddie since... well since he broke his arm. What's he doing here? and shit, *shit* he looks like a mess right now, sobbing on a tall bridge alone, his hairs probably a mess, his fucking face is red and puffy and on top of that hes got a black eye.
Eddie sits next to him, father away from the edge obviously he always hated heights. *but* he still sits with him. he makes fun of him their whole friendship, he makes him to go some creepy fucking house with him, they get into a fight Richie causes Eddie's arm to snap in fucking half! He should hate him. Why doesn't he hate him? Richie doesn't understand. Another tear falls from his eyes and he looks to Eddie. hate him or not, he always knew how to get Richie to talk when this happens. He doesn't want to think about the last time.
"how... how do you not hate me?" Richie manages to say. Eddie sits up a little taller and looks Rich in the eyes. "Richie, I don't care what you do, make fun of me, punch me, bully me, take me to an old house haunted by an evil clown that breaks my arm... I could never hate you. Maybe dislike you for about an hour, but hate you? you're fucking crazy if you think Ill ever hate you."
That's not true is all Richie can think. He doesn't know he's gay, he'd be grossed out, refuse to talk to him and regret all of that speech.
"dont say that, you... you don't *know*." Well, if Eddie's gonna hate him might as well be now so Richie can get all his shitty feelings out faster. Eddie tilts his head and looks concerned again. "what do you mean I don't *know*, what don't I know?" Richie sighs. he really hopes Eddie won't hate him for this but, he knows he will. "Do you know why I act like a pussy emotional when Henry and his goons come around, especially when they call us slurs? Why I disappear for hours, or stop talking if I'm still there?" Eddie shakes his head eyebrows knitting with concern as Richie's voice gets louder, he's almost yelling now. "because when they call me a fag, I can't just fucking blow it off or forget about it like you, or stan or bill- I" he feels tears fall down his face again, shit. "I- *fuck*” his voice cracks. “because- because I *am*. and I can't just forget about it or say to myself it's not true, because it is! it really fucking is and I hate it! I hate it I hate it I hate it-" he's heaving again, crying-no sobbing now and all he can think about is how Eddie's gonna walk away and never wanna talk to him again- but before he can even finish his thoughts, he feels hands on his back. is Eddie
*hugging him?*
He doesn't have enough space in his head to wonder why and he just laches on to his torso, crying into his shoulder. "I know you probably hate me right now, you- you don't have to do this because you pity me." he sobs out as quietly as he can.
"I'm not doing this out of pity- and even if I was I don't think you'd let me go." Richie pulls away from the hug when he hears that. "you- you don't hate me or pity me or any of that shit?" hope. He has hope again.
"Richie, as I already said, 'I could never hate you'." Richie smiled. really smiled, hes sure he looked insane because his face was red and wet and he still had a black eye but, he was finally excepted. he couldn't help it. He pulled Eddie into another hug, a happier one. However it was short lived. "I'm sorry I treated you like shit. I just, I-" do I want to tell him? I can't. No one confession is enough for the day. "Never mind" Eddie pulled away. "What is it? dude, you know can tell me anything." Can he? I mean he was okay with the gay thing, but if it's directed at him? Specifically his very homosexual feelings for him? he's not sure.
“I don't think you want to know Eddie.” Richie tried to stand up and leave before he dug himself a deeper hole. shit he was starting to feel better too. Then he felt a hand on his arm and he didn't turn around.
“Richie. As long as it's not some disgusting medical thing, I can handle it.” Richie sighed. “Not this time.” He walked off and Eddie let him.
—-------------------
Now it's Eddie's turn to sit down at this bridge. What does Richie not want him to know? that he's like super gay or something? don't get him wrong he's happy Richie told him I mean, maybe he could tell Richie about himself too? but he's not sure how he'd do that without mentioning his fat fucking crush on the guy.
wait
Neither could Richie. He can't talk about only One thing Jesus Christ it's his super power.
*”Never mind.”*
holy. fucking. shit.
Was Richie going to confess to him? fuck oh my God he was he fucking was. he can't fucking let Richie go do whatever he was gona do to himself now. he remembers the time he caught him in his room scratching at his chest so hard it turned red. It took him half an hour to get him to calm down enough to stop. *not again*, not on his watch.
It took him about five minutes to find him, so of course he came here. *the quarry*. Richie is crying again. He goes to sit with him again. It worked last time. for a bit. Eddie lasts about three minutes before finally saying it.
“Im gay too.”
Richie turned his head to look at him. *really look at him*. “youre just saying that.” “no, I'm not. look Richie i-” he sighs, “I know what you were going to say. figured it out a few minutes after you walked off.”
Richie went pale. Well paler than normal. He didn't say anything and he didn't dare move an inch, not even to look away. Then he finally spoke. “Eddie i-”
Eddie brakes. He can't stand to see his friend like this anymore.
“I have a crush on you.”
Richie stops. again.
“what?”
“you heard me. I know that's what you were going to say to me so I thought I'd say it myself before you threw yourself into your room and didn't open the door anymore.”
Richie stares at him for what feels like hours before he leaned a little closer. Eddie realized he was no longer crying. Eddie leaned in too. A small movement, but noticeable. Richie looked in Eddie's eyes as he leaned in further centimeters away from *kissing Eddie*. “is… is this okay?” Eddie answered by finally closing the distance between them. The kiss was soft and sweet, like a happy ending to a sad story. Richie moved first and smiled. “Hey,” Eddie smiled back. “hi”. They sit together for a while, Eddie puts his head on Richie's shoulder. Neither wanting to break the comfortable silence between them.
“Eddie?” Eddie turns to face him.
“yeah?” “doyouwanttobemyboyfriend?”
Eddie bursts out laughing
“what?! what are you gonna say no?? because that fucking kiss we shared says otherwise-”
“nononno” Eddie says, still wheezing. Richie gets his inhaler from Eddie's bag and hands it to him. He takes a puff and sighs. "Yes,“ he says, still catching his breath. “I would be honored. I just didn't know you could talk so fast.” he giggles and Richie punches his unbroken arm. “Keep laughing and I'll break your other arm.” They broke out into laughter together. Things seem like they're going okay for them. For now, let them enjoy it.