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Mobei-Jun adjusted his robe carefully to bare most of his chest and stepped through shadows to the Immortal Alliance Conference.
Shang Qinghua had fretted over the potential death toll of releasing Black Moon Rhinoceros-Pythons as part of the attack, so Mobei-Jun had adapted, and promised to personally break the seal on the half-demon disciple that his beloved servant was fretting over.
A challenge! A courting quest! His heart leapt at the thought of it.
He posed dramatically with the newly opened chasm to the Endless Abyss flaring with hellish red light behind him, letting Qinghua, the half-demon mutt, and some unimportant cultivator in green get a good look at him; the orchestrator of the calamity perpetrated against the jianghu’s best and brightest young disciples.
Fight me. FIGHT ME. Prove your worth, Qinghua. Beat me down and prove you’re worthy to push me down.
“Who is this distinguished one?” Shang Qinghua yelled, rushing forwards.
You flatterer! Yes! Attack me, wound me, push me into the Abyss!
“Why have you come to this place?” Qinghua demanded, drawing his sword and posing dramatically himself, with a sideways glance at his fellow cultivators.
Mobei-Jun tilted his head to better bare his neck – giving his beloved an obvious opening – but he didn’t take it.
He sighed. Yet again he demands I do all the work in this relationship!
He gave a mere half-hearted flick of his finger, the tiniest token blow possible, and yet it somehow sent Shang Qinghua flying through the air, crashing into an old tree whereupon he slumped to the ground, showily spitting out a mouthful of blood.
He used qi to send himself flying! That’s cheating! he complained mentally. Now you’re not even going to fight back?! How can I lose to you so you can claim me if you don’t even fight back, Qinghua?
The mutt and his master – apparently Qing Jing’s peak lord – bantered with him and he patiently waited for them to be ready to fight.
Get UP Qinghua! I’ll stall as long as I can… I don’t want you to miss my fight! I’m dealing with the demon-child for you!
He flared his killing intent and out of the corner of his eye watched Shang Qinghua’s theoretically unconscious body twitch. I knew you were still awake!
He shattered the half-demon’s spiritual sword – hoping that Qinghua would be impressed. It would also reduce the boy’s ability to fight without hurting him too much. I told you I’d be careful with him, Qinghua. Are you watching? Are you peeking at my fight?
Fighting the half-demon had some elements of interest; he was a surprisingly challenging opponent. The peak lord was dull, however, and since Qinghua didn’t particularly like him – had even called him a ‘scum villain’ on occasion – he didn’t need to go easy on him.
He dealt with the boring one then broke the seal on Luo Binghe’s forehead with a directed stream of scarlet light beamed straight at his forehead.
Done! Are you proud of me, Qinghua? he wondered, as the boy collapsed to his knees, but still managed to shoot off an explosion of demonic qi at him.
“Not bad. The Human Realm isn’t where you belong. Why not return to your origins?”
He glanced off to the tree where Shang Qinghua was still faking unconsciousness, and caught him peeking around the battlefield. He was probably worried about that scum villain who was grabbing ghost-head spiders by the hair and throwing them in his direction.
Okay Qinghua, my job is done, up you get! You can fight me off, now!
“It would take a dominant cultivator of immense power to defeat me,” he boasted, hinting heavily and loudly. “You have no chance, nor does your useless and weak master. You had best leave for the demon realm, boy.”
He strode casually across the battlefield, keeping carefully in line of sight of Qinghua, trying to offer him a straight line of attack.
Look, I’m standing precariously close to the edge of the Endless Abyss! It sure would be terrible if some masterful cultivator shot me with a qi blast right now! I’d fall right in and be instantly, crushingly defeated! Your reputation with your sect would be elevated, and I… I would be at your mercy. Defeated in a public duel and ripe to be dragged to your bed and pushed down beneath you.
He posed expectantly for a moment, but Qinghua’s eyes just snapped shut.
Mobei-Jun let out a very quiet sigh. Another opportunity totally wasted on him. How many openings do I have to give him before he fights back and dominates me? I challenge him three times a day; is that not enough flirting for him?
Grumpily, he stepped away through shadows. If Qinghua wasn’t going to rise and fight him, maybe he’d get up when Mobei-Jun had left, if only to avoid the ghost-head spiders closing in on him.
He didn’t go far, though. He watched from hiding as Shen Qingqiu confronted his disciple, carefully healing him back to consciousness so that he could flirtatiously berate him and hold him at swordpoint at the edge of the Abyss.
While the two were distracted, Shang Qinghua covertly killed and drove away the ghost-head spiders surrounding him with sharp strikes to their temples from stealthy, needle-thin blasts of qi.
Why aren’t you that competently brutal when my court is watching us? Mobei-Jun mentally whined. Why do you only dispose of assassins when no-one is looking? Why won’t you fight me like I need you to? You’re not allowed to claim a high-ranking demon – especially a prince or king – without beating them first! Don’t… don’t you even want me?
The scum villain pushed his demonic disciple into the Endless Abyss with a sexy, forceful shove to his bleeding chest.
He even stabbed him right over the heart, Mobei-Jun observed jealously. It’s not fair; that should have been me! I orchestrated this terrible attack! Shang Qinghua was supposed to defeat me! What am I supposed to do now… just retreat for no reason at all?
Shang Qinghua’s bright brown eyes gleamed at him from where he was lying; he’d been spotted.
He’s so observant, my Qinghua, he cooed to himself.
He perked up optimistically, and took a single step forward towards him, but Shang Qinghua let out a quiet little ‘eep!’ and snapped his eyes shut again, slumping back to the ground ‘clearly unconscious’.
Mobei-Jun scowled. I know you like me. You must! I’ve seen how you look at me, Qinghua, with those hungry eyes of yours. I won’t give up on you. He sensed the qi of more cultivators moving in on their location; Qinghua’s friends would be here to tend to him and guard him soon. He blinked away through the shadows, stepping back out into his icy palace.
Maybe next time, Qinghua. I hope at least you’re satisfied that I completed your courting challenge! It… it was a challenge, wasn’t it?
He sighed and slumped on his lonely throne as servitors scurried out of his vicinity, sensing his foul mood.
Why didn’t you push me into the Endless Abyss, Qinghua?
-0-
Years later, the young half-demon returned from the Endless Abyss for a duel of vengeance, and Mobei-Jun battled him under Qinghua’s trembling, wide eyes.
Perhaps it should be your turn to be frustrated and jealous, Mobei-Jun thought, as Luo Binghe pinned him to the ground, kneeing him in the kidneys and slamming his head on the icy ground. Do you want this boy to claim your king, Qinghua?
But even that desperate measure didn’t evoke any reaction from his beloved, alas.
“Let this king be clear – I don’t want or need you to claim me,” he said to Luo Binghe, later in private. Most things could go unspoken, but this was important to communicate with no misunderstandings. “I just wanted to make my beloved jealous by letting you beat me so easily.”
“You let me beat you?” the young emperor scoffed.
“You may have won anyway,” he conceded, “but I made it easy for you.”
He could have easily teleported away from him at any point if he’d wanted the fight to stop, which he’d been tempted to do after seeing how useless the fight was proving in inflaming Qinghua’s jealousy. He’d only let the young mutt win in the end because Qinghua had insisted it was vital for his continued rule over the Northen Desert, and he knew better than to doubt his beloved Seer’s implicit prophecies.
“You’re powerful, but untried,” he said, waving a dismissive hand. “I must ask you to not flirt so much in the future.”
“Flirt?!”
He frowned. “No more public challenges, no insults. No blood drawing during any fights. No posing, and absolutely no pinning me down. You have your own beloved who clearly loves you; you don’t need me. I refuse your suit.”
“My… my own beloved?” the boy said, sounding dazed.
“Your master, who threw you into the Abyss. So romantic,” Mobei-Jun said, with a wistful sigh.
“He… Shizun stabbed me,” Luo Binghe said, yanking open his black and red robes to reveal a raised scar on his bare chest. “He tried to kill me! You think that’s romantic?!”
“I wish Qinghua would stab me over my heart,” Mobei-Jun scowled jealousy. “I beat him three times a day, but I get nothing in return. Some men have all the luck. You had better show that Shizun of yours some appreciation and submit yourself to him properly.”
“Shizun… Shizun was flirting?! All this time?” Luo Binghe replied, drawing himself up straight, fire blazing in his red eyes. “Mobei-Jun will teach this emperor all about demonic flirting and romance, and in return this one will teach you about the best ways to court in the human manner.”
Mobei-Jun tilted his head puzzledly. There’s a difference?!