Archive of Our Own

Scar knew the championship party was going to burn everyone out, but he didn’t expect to wake up at almost three in the afternoon. 

After a hearty seven hours of sleep, where bedtime accidentally became 6 AM, he and Grian took naps throughout the day. They didn't see their friends until they went out to find dinner later in the evening, and Lizzie immediately clocked them. 

They weren’t doing anything particularly couple-y. They weren’t even holding hands! They walked into the lobby together, talking about how Scar was heading back to his parents’ place to spend Christmas with them. A loud gasp startled them both. 

Lizzie asked if they had finally made it official, and while the hotel lobby might not have been the best place to do it, the look on her face made Scar not care. His friends were happy for them, and it reminded him all over again of the work it took to get here.

After their run-in with Lizzie, they knew they had to get the news out before the rest of their friends killed them for taking too long. 

Bdubs, honest to god, started clapping. “You know, I did have my doubts. It looked a bit dicey there from Grian, but I’m really happy we got the good ending!” 

Grian pouted at that, but neither of them had much to combat that. After lots of self-reflection, which was very necessary, they can both admit they fucked things up along the way.

Etho smiled, clearly happy for them, but the lingering pain from losing the championship was still obvious in his eyes. Scar knew it would be a while before the sting of the loss was gone, but Grian insisted they still let him know before he hears it secondhand. Scar’s glad they told him, regardless. 

Joel pumped a fist in the air, whipping his phone out instead of saying anything directly to them. “Yes, take that, Jimmy! We made a bet on whether you’d get together before the end of the season. Happy to say that I can surprise Lizzie with that fancy espresso machine she saw the other day.”

Scar wanted to call out the ethics of that, but Grian made Joel promise to let him swing by and use it whenever he wanted, so Scar kept it to himself. He’s not surprised, if he’s honest. According to Cub, Joel and Oli make bets with each other over mundane stuff all the time. He should’ve expected he’d be the subject at some point or another. 

Pearl had the sweetest reaction, hugging Grian when they managed to catch her waiting for her ride to the airport. She tricked Scar into thinking he was getting a hug too, and when he was off guard, she punched him in the gut. 

He wouldn’t say he deserved it, per se, but it was a good warning shot. She definitely plans to do worse if he ever steps a hair out of line, and Scar is all too happy to assure her he would rather die. Pearl leaves content with that, and he watches her drive off, mildly winded. 

Mumbo just about burst into tears before Grian was even finished talking. “I’m just so happy!” he cried, and Scar could see a million things behind his eyes when he looked at them both. Scar wanted to laugh at him, but it was so sweet that it almost brought a tear to his own eye. He had to look away before Mumbo really did make him cry, and he’s done enough of that this season.

Grian said he wanted to tell BigB on his own, just a private moment between them. Scar camped out in his room, FaceTiming Tubbo as he finished packing, letting him know the good news as well. Grian knocked when he was halfway done, and he kissed him so sweetly that Scar knew his talk with BigB must’ve been cathartic. 

“I’m going to miss you,” Grian admitted as Scar zipped up his suitcase. Scar made him sit on it to force it closed, and it hit him that they’re splitting up nearly twenty-four hours after getting together. 

“It won’t be long,” Scar assured. Grian wasn’t up to spending the holidays with Scar’s parents when they’ve only now made this next step, and Scar was inclined to agree. “Just until Christmas. Then you’ll be sick of me.” 

“Never.” Grian leaned in to kiss him, and the thought that he could just do that now made Scar breathless and dizzy.

Scar’s never had a person at midnight for New Year’s. 

He’s never found New Year’s Eve to be a particularly fun holiday. Watching fireworks is fun, but he’s never had much to look forward to on New Year’s Eve. He prefers to let the year go by and look ahead to what’s coming.

This time last year, he had just signed his contract with Magical Mountain. He was guaranteed to be in an F1 car come March. He was eager to get everything over with so he could move on to the fun stuff sooner. 

This year, he has a boyfriend dragging him to Australia so he can spend the holiday with all the new friends he’s made. Scar’s at a new place in life, and he couldn’t even complain when the jet lag almost kicked his ass. Grian was the first person he saw as soon as he walked out of the airport, so Scar forgot all of his worries pretty quickly. 

Pearl threw a smallish party at her place, inviting all of her racing friends and then some other people Scar didn’t know the names of too well. She called them her “vampire friends”, which Scar assumes is some Australian thing, but they weren’t even all Australian. He asks Grian, but Grian just shrugs and leaves him more clueless than before. 

Before the party starts, he, Grian, and Gem make their way to a liquor store (or bottle shop, as Pearl called it) to buy some alcohol everyone requested. 

He catches Grian staring longingly at a wine bottle that used to be one of his favorites. Grian is still in the beginning stages of therapy, having only done two sessions so far. One of the first tasks from the therapist was to stop drinking so damn much.

It’s not like he has to cut alcohol out of his life completely, but Scar knows the effort that Grian’s putting into bettering all of his life habits. Grian mentioned earlier he didn’t want to drink today, but he might go back on that decision now. 

Scar approaches Grian while Gem’s picking out a selection of bottles, subtly gripping the front of his waist from behind. “What’s up?”

Grian sighs, his voice heavy when he quietly says, “I wish I trusted myself more.” 

The last time Grian drank heavily, Joel got a call that Grian might have given himself alcohol poisoning. Grian is almost scared of himself, and Scar doesn’t even blame him. When he thinks about that night in Brazil, he gets chills all over. His pale skin and sick features won’t ever leave Scar’s mind.

But tonight, Grian seems to miss it ever so slightly. It’s New Year’s Eve, they’re going to be at Pearl’s house, and they only have to last until midnight. Scar understands his urge, and he doesn’t want Grian to go into the new year doubting himself already. 

“You trust me, don’t you?” Scar winks, and Grian playfully rolls his eyes as if to say, “Of course, dummy.” “I’ll watch you. It’s not like I was planning on getting too crazy tonight.” 

Grian reaches a hand out towards the bottle he was eyeing, then he shakes his head. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.” 

They pay, and Gem drives them back to Pearl’s place, ranting about whether she should dodge Pearl at midnight. Scar listens, but he’s more focused on the smile Grian’s got on in the backseat. It’s an abrupt change from his melancholy mood at the store, and he asks him about it once they’re back inside the house. 

There’s already loud music playing and bright lights flashing, but he can still hear Grian loud and clear. “I’ve got a million things on my plate. I’m figuring out who I am, but I’m at peace. I haven’t been at peace since I was eighteen! I’m listening to Gem, and I realized my biggest problems don’t consume me anymore.” 

Scar hands him a mixed drink one of Pearl’s friends made him, and Grian takes it with a smile. He only drinks half, and Scar finishes it for him. He watches his boyfriend light up the room with just his presence, entirely sober and present, and Scar almost cries seeing Grian realize in real time how important he is to the people who love him. 

At the countdown, Scar pulls him in close as they gather outside Pearl’s house to watch when the fireworks start going off. At five, he looks down at the light of his life. When it hits midnight, Grian rushes to kiss him, and Scar reciprocates all too easily. 

When they pull apart, Scar rests his forehead against Grian’s, his New Year’s resolution on the tip of his tongue when it inevitably ends up back in Grian’s mouth: We are going to do great things together, my love.

“I’m not going.” 

That’s the last thing Scar expects to hear when Grian gets out of the shower. He’s on the bed, waiting for Grian to leave the bathroom so he can begin getting ready. He was being awarded the Rookie of the Year award, and he’s buzzing with anticipation to get to the annual Prize Giving ceremony.

Even before Scar got the news he was going to be presented with an award, Grian was insisting he come to Paris with him, even if he stayed in the hotel the entire time. Grian seemed like he was looking forward to it more now that they were going to be together, but something had changed his mind.

Scar puts his book down. “Why aren’t you going?” He gestures to the suit Grian laid out earlier that he’s looking at with disdain. 

“I don’t want to go,” Grian states. He sits on the edge of the occupied bed, as far away from his suit as he can be. “No, I’m not going.” 

Scar knew Grian wasn’t particularly excited about going to the ceremony. They talked about the funny coincidence that they both attended the ceremony last year, with Scar winning F2 and Grian getting second place in the championship. Beyond that, Grian didn’t share his thoughts about the ceremony, but Scar didn’t think he cared this much.

He should ignore Grian for now and hope he comes around before they’re both late. A part of him almost does, but Grian’s casting his eyes downward, anywhere but at Scar. Scar doesn’t want to leave him in whatever headspace he’s in right now. 

“I’m not going by myself then,” Scar declares. He moves to sit next to Grian, who’s still dripping from his shower in nothing but a towel. Scar wants to kiss him until it’s all okay, but that won’t actually fix anything. 

Grian narrows his eyes, finally looking back at him. “You’re bluffing.”

Maybe he is, but Grian doesn’t need to know that. “Nope. If you don’t go, I won’t go.” 

“Scar, I can’t go!” Grian stands, pointing at his suit accusingly as if it did something to him personally. “I finished second last year! Everyone in that room expected me to win it this season, and I failed. No, I didn’t just fail. I did worse. I finished third! Sahara didn’t even win the constructors’. I won’t embarrass myself by going.” 

Oh, Scar hadn’t considered that angle. He can understand the hesitance, but he also knows it’ll look bad on Grian’s part if he really wants to skip the event. He usually wouldn’t care, but this could come back to bite him later in terms of sponsorships and endorsements. 

But Grian isn’t thinking about this rationally right now. It’s up to Scar to pick up the pieces here. “You mean all those old people who give out the awards? Old dudes that don’t even know our names? You think those guys remember where you placed last year?”

Grian shakes his head, bringing his thumb to his mouth to bite. “They’ll know. Everyone’s going to know.” 

“And who cares?” Scar stands too, taking Grian’s face in his hands. He forces Grian to look at him. “What do you think the world said about me when I was in F3 for years, even though I was in my twenties? You wanna know what I did instead of letting them talk crap about me?”

Grian rolls his eyes, having heard this story a million times. Scar talks about it a lot, but Grian indulges him even if he knows where this is going. “What?”

“I proved them wrong,” Scar shrugs. “I wouldn’t be here if I had given up on F3 when I was making no progress. You can’t stop showing your face now.” 

Grian bites his lip, unsure still. “Shouldn’t I be better?”

Maybe, maybe not. Scar isn’t the one who can answer that. “I think we’re not at the point where we can definitively make that call. And I don’t want to sit there for two hours by myself, so will you please come so I can at least endure it with the love of my life?”

He thinks he hasn’t gotten through, but Grian lets out a loud sigh and buries his head into Scar’s chest. It’s a sound of defeat, but it’s better than it was five minutes ago. 

“Can we get ice cream after?” Grian says, muffled by Scar’s chest. Scar laughs, and he gladly agrees.

Scar never had a problem leaving Jellie at home with his parents; he couldn’t be bothered to get all the proper documentation in order. 

Now that he needs to do it, it’s the most tedious process in the world. He’s sure getting his own passport renewed is easier than trying to get his damn cat out of the country. He should’ve smuggled Jellie in illegally… Scar is so sure the paperwork to get out of jail is probably less time-consuming. 

When Grian picks him up from Heathrow and sees Jellie’s crate, Scar isn’t too annoyed anymore. 

Grian talks the entire way back to his apartment about how excited Maui and Pearl are going to be to have new friends. Scar takes Jellie out of her crate as Grian drives, and he has to stop her from jumping onto Grian’s lap. Multiple times, too! It warms his heart to see his favorite people (well, cat) in the world hitting it off instantly. 

At every red light or stop sign, Grian takes a moment to pet Jellie or coo at her. Soon enough, she’s rubbing her head on his arm every time he shifts gears, and Scar snaps pictures whenever he catches it. 

They talk about his flight and his first time traveling internationally with Jellie. They talk about everything they needed to catch up on after spending a week apart, but to Scar, it’s a lifetime. 

His smile doesn’t leave his face the entire drive to Grian’s apartment. He’s about to see it for the first time, introduce their cats, and then Scar gets to stay until they decide they’re bored and want to do something else with their limited winter break. He’s buzzing with anticipation as he gets out of the car, Jellie sharing his sentiment with loud meows.

As Grian parks and leads Scar to his unit, he takes in the environment. This is his place when he's not at his other apartment near the Sahara training center, and Scar remembers the time Grian mentioned wanting to find a real house. He takes in the apartment building, but he can picture the two of them purchasing a house together when the time is right.

“...and then there’s this baby that always cries around midnight. It’s the weirdest thing ever– What?” Grian interrupts himself, and Scar realizes he was just staring at him. 

Scar shakes his head. He hasn’t even set foot in Grian’s apartment, and he’s already thinking about moving him out. “Just thinking about how much Jellie loves you.”

Grian scoffs because he knows that’s not what Scar was thinking about. He lets it go when he stops in front of a door, fumbling with his keys before unlocking it and letting Scar in. Grian holds the door open, ready to show off his place, but a loud hiss greets Scar.

Not just one hiss. Two hisses from his left and right, and it’s not coming from Jellie. 

“Oh, come off it!” Instead of a grand entrance, Grian rushes him inside to close the door before the cats can get out. “Why are they so angry? Maui, Pearl, what is this behavior!?” 

Scar drags his suitcase behind him as he follows Grian to his couch, where he’s comforting his distressed cats. He glances around the apartment, but he can’t even focus as Maui and Pearl continue to hiss at him for whatever reason. 

“Maybe this will win them over,” Scar tries, letting Jellie out of her crate. Maui and Pearl cease their hissing, and the cats measure each other up. 

“Agh, I don’t know why they’re being like this!” Grian complains, petting Maui and Pearl under their chins. Scar reaches a hand out to do the same to Jellie, but Maui and Pearl hiss when his hand gets close.

Scar wants to laugh, but he can’t. He’s never had a cat dislike him like this before, let alone two! 

“They’re warming up to me. They’ll love me in no time!” But even as Scar says it, he has his doubts. 

Maui and Pearl meow at Jellie, and before long, they’re taking Jellie elsewhere. Scar pouts, but the cats' absence helps him to process being in Grian's apartment. 

He has the typical apartment stuff, but there are hints of Grian, the Sahara driver, everywhere. There’s paperwork on every available surface, old karting trophies lined up on shelves, and photos hung up on the walls with thumbtacks. There are also cat toys on the floor, but thinking about the cats too much is going to make him sad. 

“Those cats are little traitors,” Grian says when the trio runs back to the living room as playful as ever. Maui even takes a second to hiss at Scar when she passes him. 

“They get their attitude from their mother,” Scar shoots back, and it takes Grian a moment to understand what he said.

With a squawk, Grian tackles Scar to the couch, and he nearly cries when Maui and Pearl come to their owner’s defense and scratch him on the arm.

Later that night, after a quick nap to recover from the jet lag, Grian shows him around.

The cats are getting along great, and while Pearl and Maui hiss at him every time he passes by, Scar’s devastation over that only lasts for so long. He follows behind Grian as he walks him through his apartment, pointing out the pictures and treasures he’s accumulated over the years. 

“I keep my important trophies at my other place,” Grian explains when they reach his wall of race win medals. Grian once said he thought they were tacky when they were first introduced, preferring the old school laurels, but he must’ve changed his mind at some point. “It keeps me motivated throughout the season.” 

“It would be nice to have something other than a hat for a keepsake,” Scar agrees. He almost didn’t want to hand his trophy over when he got his first podium, but he knew Magical Mountain would get to keep his trophies when he signed his contract.

Grian shows him a bookcase with an impressive collection of classic novels, a record player Etho got him, a plethora of plushies he’s bought throughout his years of traveling, and all the cool scratching posts he has for the cats. 

By the end of his tour, Scar’s overwhelmed by the domesticity of it all. It’s like taking a peek into Grian’s brain and all the things he hasn’t told him. It’s never come up, but now he knows Grian is reading The Count of Monte Cristo, he loves to open Pokémon cards even if he doesn’t have time to play the games often, and he’s so sentimental that he has an entire wall of pictures he prints out so he doesn’t have to worry about losing memories to his phone storage. 

“I’m sick of listening to myself talk,” Grian says once he’s finished showing Scar every inch of his apartment, including a KitchenAid stand mixer he never uses. He sits on the couch, stretching out and leaving little room for Scar. “What do you think?” 

Scar doesn’t know where to begin. “You’ve done really well with the place.”

“I stay with BigB sometimes when I just… can’t be alone, but I’ve been really enjoying staying here now. It’s my space, and I can do whatever I want with it.” To drive his point home, Grian reaches over to his coffee table and knocks over the books he had stacked on it. The books hit the floor with a loud bang, and Maui and Pearl come running to see what the commotion is about. Jellie follows too, ever the protector, but slower than the other two.

Scar laughs, but his smile drops when Maui and Pearl hiss before going back to playing. He will win them over! Their owner came around to him, so the cats can’t be that much harder. 

He looks back at Grian, finding him already staring and smiling brightly. It’s only his apartment, and Grian has a whole other place he hasn’t been to yet, but this is a huge deal for them. Scar never thought he’d let anyone in close enough to reach this stage, and Grian mentioned earlier how Scar is the first guy he’s ever let spend the night here. He reaches for Grian’s face, but Grian tries to bite his fingers. 

When Scar laughs, flinching, he can’t wipe the smile from his face. I love you, he almost says. Instead, he brings up something he’s been meaning to for a while. “You know I wasn’t the first one to say I love you?” 

Grian stares back quizzically. “Back in Singapore? I think you were, buddy.” 

Only Grian can call him buddy and make it sound romantic. But no, that’s not what Scar was talking about. He chuckles. He was hoping Grian didn’t remember; it makes this way funnier.

“Summer break. Monaco club,” Scar raises an eyebrow. “Ring any bells?” 

Grian looks beyond confused now. “Yeah, I blacked out. You weren’t there, though. I was with Mumbo and BigB, and–” Realization dawns in his eyes. “I called you that night.”

Scar smiles cheekily at him. Grian made fun of him after Abu Dhabi for drunkenly dropping the Love bomb in Singapore, but he had no idea he had done it first. Scar didn’t take it seriously at the time since they were in a rough spot and Grian was likely insincere, but the horror on his face currently tells another story. 

“No shot… I was the first? No shot!” Grian groans in embarrassment. “I did it over the goddamn phone? In the club, no less!?”

“You said you liked to see me shirtless, too, so–” Scar shouts when Grian throws a pillow at him, and Scar retaliates with another pillow to the face. 

They’re smacking each other with pillows, and it’s juvenile and silly, but in the privacy of Grian’s apartment, Scar can’t give a damn about any of the outside expectations on them.

Scar didn’t think it was possible to be this stressed outside of the season.

Grian said offhandedly he wanted to go out on a proper date, and Scar’s been busy trying to put together the most perfect experience of his life. Grian left to go grocery shopping, but he promised he’d be back soon so they could go to the gym together. 

Scar took it upon himself to plan a nice date before Grian gets back, but now nothing sounds as fun as he might’ve thought. He looked up some ideas, but one website suggested go-karting, and Scar would frankly rather die.

He has half a mind to ask Pearl and Maui, but they still haven’t warmed up to him enough. Scar nearly calls Mumbo, but Mumbo has never been much help in the romance department. He contemplates asking Joel for advice since his teammate had to woo Lizzie somehow, but he imagines that dating Lizzie and dating Grian are completely different. 

No, he has to come up with the best for Grian. It’s the least he deserves, and Scar wants to have a fun night out too.

He snoops around Grian’s apartment for inspiration. Grian likes food, so a picnic would be nice… but there’s no way he’d be able to cook anything good before Grian got back. They could go on a weekend getaway, since Grian loves relaxing… but then they’d have to pack up the cats, and this is supposed to be the getaway already. Scar continues scrolling on his phone intently, and he doesn’t hear when the door slams closed or the volume of Grian’s voice calling his name.

It takes Maui pawing him in the face to notice Grian standing in front of him, holding his cat to Scar like a lethal weapon. Scar jumps, scrambling to shut off his phone before Grian can see what he was reading. 

Grian lets Maui go back to playing before narrowing his eyes. “What were you up to?”

Scar says the first lie that comes to mind. “Playing the Wordle.” 

“Were you cheating on me?” 

His eyes go wide. “What!? No! Why on earth would you think that!?” 

Grian rolls his eyes, handing Scar a protein bar he’d requested from the store. “So, can I see what you were looking at then?” 

Scar sighs. He knows better than to think Grian wouldn’t notice something was up. “I wanted to do something later. I wanted to have it ready before you got back, but nothing I thought of was good enough.”

Grian stares at him blankly. “I mean, when I said I wanted to go on a date, I meant a movie and getting takeout.” 

He lowers his head. He’s doing it again, where he stresses himself out over minor stuff and blows up minor situations. Scar didn’t consider dinner and a movie; everyone does dinner and a movie, and he wanted to give Grian more than just some generic date. 

“Maybe I should’ve asked you before…” Scar trails off. He didn’t realize this was making him sweat until Grian started fanning his face with his hand. “Dinner and a movie it is.”

Grian laughs at his dejected tone. “Scar, it’s a date. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just put some sweats on later. I’m sure there’s at least one new Disney movie showing. We can go watch that!”

Scar knows he often loses his head over simple things, but he still smiles, knowing he’s got a great person who can help him find it before it rolls away from him completely. 

Scar regrets making plans once they were back in the States. 

They’d agreed to a casual double date with Etho and Bdubs, which dangerously skirts the whole “we’re all keeping our relationships secret” thing. Bdubs assured them it wouldn’t be an issue, but Scar is starting to doubt that. 

“I’m so sorry!” Bdubs shouts, though the damage has already been done: he tried to grab the bread bowl, knocked over his water, and spilled it all over Scar’s lap. The ice water shocked Scar, and he accidentally banged his knee against the table, causing his chair to lurch back with a deafening screech. 

“My lord…” Etho mutters when their waiter comes over. Scar’s freezing, but seeing as they’ve already caught the attention of half the restaurant, he doesn’t let Grian help dry him off. He holds the cloth napkin on his lap, but he isn’t happy when the waiter arrives. 

Grian tries his best to shoo the waiter off. “Our friend just spilled his drink, but we’re okay!” 

The waiter, however, takes that as a cue to bring more napkins, awkwardly hovering as they wait for Scar to finish patting himself dry so they can take the napkins back. 

Once they're gone, Grian bursts into a small fit of giggles. Etho takes a moment to flick Bdubs on the arm, but it’s nothing compared to how cold Scar is. 

Grian shoots him an apologetic look, his own sweater draped across the back of his chair. Scar left his at home after swearing he wouldn’t need it. Trying to be inconspicuous is going to give Scar hypothermia. 

“So, how have you two lovebirds been? I heard the cats hate you,” Etho jokes, and Scar fights the pout. Grian had to leave Maui and Pearl with BigB because they just can’t stand to be around him, but it won’t be the last time they see him. 

“They’ll love me eventually!” Scar swears. “Pearl let me pet her for half a second before trying to scratch me. We’re making improvements.” 

Their food gets brought out, but Bdubs gets given something from the kids' menu that he didn’t order. The waiter apologizes for the blunder with a wink, leaving an air of confusion at the table when they take Bdubs’s plate back.

“Uh…” Etho clears his throat. “Is our waiter hitting on you?” 

Bdubs preens at that, but he doesn’t stay happy for long. Being brought something from the kids' menu was funny at the moment, but it’s been five minutes, and the waiter hasn’t come back with Bdubs’ food. The three of them wait as politely as they can, but Scar catches Grian poking his chicken with a sad sigh. 

“Should we say something?” Grian asks when ten minutes pass and the steam no longer flows from their food. “I don’t want to draw attention to ourselves, though.” 

They wait two more minutes before Grian flags someone down, and the waiter takes another two minutes to bring out Bdubs’ correct dish. “Free wine as an apology!” The waiter declares, placing four glasses on the table. They wink at Bdubs again as they pour the wine, heading to another table as Etho bites his finger to keep from saying something.

“Don’t you dare cause a scene,” Bdubs threatens. He’s the only one with hot food right now, though, and Scar kicks him under the table just for fun. 

Etho takes a hearty swing of the wine, mumbling that at least he’s got a free drink out of this whole experience, but he unexpectedly chokes. Red wine spills from his lips as he coughs, turning to stare at Bdubs with wide, shocked eyes. Scar and Grian gasp at the display, and Bdubs looks confused at Etho’s accusatory glare. 

“What…” Etho coughs again, and to their surprise, sticks his hand into the wine glass. “...the fuck, Bdubs!?” 

He pulls out a diamond ring. 

Scar immediately locks eyes with Grian, then they both turn to Bdubs. Bdubs’ jaw drops, and he starts shaking his head. “That's not mine! I didn’t do that!” 

“It’s not yours!?” Etho’s captured the attention of a few tables now, and Scar realizes at once why the waiter has been acting so weird. 

He has to turn his body towards Grian to laugh, and they accidentally bump heads when Grian does the same. That causes Scar to laugh more, and Grian buries his face into his shoulder to giggle when the waiter rushes over with a horrified expression. 

The waiter apologizes profusely, mistaking Bdubs for another guest who’s proposing tonight. Bdubs and Etho are both bright red in the face as the waiter explains the mishap, but the damage has been done: the entire restaurant is looking, and Scar’s pretty sure they ruined the other guy’s proposal. 

When the waiter leaves with the ring, neither Bdubs nor Etho speaks for a minute. Grian and Scar try to keep their laughs to a minimum, but Grian keeps laughing, and his smile is so contagious that Scar can’t keep it together either. 

Finally, Etho lets out a loud exhale, stabbing his fork into his cold salmon. “Next time, let’s just go bowling.” 

Seeing as their last restaurant encounter went so great, Scar plans another as soon as he can.

This one has been a long time coming, and Tubbo lights up when Scar walks through the diner doors with Grian in tow. Grian said he was nervous about meeting the famous Tubbo after he mentioned how badly Tubbo wanted to see him, but Scar assured him that Tubbo would be on his best behavior. 

Most likely. 

They get to the diner ten minutes before it officially closes, which Grian was scared about. Scar assured him it would be fine. He knew it meant they would get to hang out with Tubbo longer without his customers in the way once he closed for the night.

“Look what the cat dragged in!” Tubbo shouts, excitedly waving at them. “You ass, I haven’t seen you since Abu Dhabi!” 

“Sorry, sorry!” Scar doesn’t mention he’s sorry because he was hanging out with his boyfriend in another country. “I know you wanted to meet a certain someone, so I brought him.” 

Tubbo stands up even straighter. “Is it Etho?”

Scar rolls his eyes. “No! I can probably arrange that, though. Anyway…” He moves out of the way, presenting Grian to one of his oldest friends. “This is Grian, my boyfriend.” 

This meeting scared Grian for two reasons. One: Scar and Tubbo go way back, and two: Scar’s already met everyone Grian wants him to. The thought of Tubbo making Grian nervous was a little crazy to Scar. It’s not like Tubbo was going to do anything but some light teasing. But that’s because Scar knows Tubbo, and they can read each other like picture books. Grian pointed it out: Wouldn't Scar be stressed about meeting Grian's best friend if he hadn't met BigB already? 

But then Tubbo opens his mouth, “Dude, I was just watching your season highlights on YouTube! Hi, how are you?”, and Grian’s entire posture relaxes. 

Scar completely misses Grian’s reply; he’s too busy watching how he interacts with Tubbo. The easy way he shakes his hand, the laugh he lets out when Tubbo cracks a joke that’s surely at Scar’s expense… How can Scar not just sit here and watch? He gets to see in real time how Grian lights up the lives of everyone he interacts with, and it’s incredible. Scar can’t help but wonder how he managed to get so damn lucky during his first year in the sport. 

“Scar wouldn’t listen to my romance advice, so I’m surprised he even ended up bagging you,” Tubbo says when Scar tunes back in. 

“Wait, hey–” He reaches across Grian to smack Tubbo on the arm while the other two laugh. “I’m pretty sure you told me to bring him, and you’d somehow magically fix everything, so your advice was shit!” 

Grian lets out a fake gasp, and he moves to stand beside Tubbo. “Now, the Tubbo I know would’ve done everything he could just to help you. I don’t believe this for one second.” 

Tubbo sticks his tongue out, and Scar’s jaw drops. He knew they were going to get along, probably become friends, but he did not expect them to gang up on him so quickly. 

“What!? You called me a chicken because I didn’t immediately try to ask him out! That’s not good advice!” Scar feels crazy when Tubbo shakes his head, denying the allegations. “I have the texts to prove it!” 

“Fake news,” Tubbo declares. Grian nods along with him. 

Scar huffs out a sigh. He should’ve seen this coming. His fault for thinking this was cute at first. “I’ve been betrayed. I have been abandoned in my time of need, and only an Oreo milkshake can fix this.” 

Tubbo scoffs out a laugh. “I’ll make all three of us shakes, but I’m not telling you guys what flavor I’m making.” He heads back to the kitchen, and Scar catches Grian laughing under his breath. 

“And what is so funny?” Scar puts his hands on his hips, deepening his voice to sound scarier. 

That makes Grian giggle even more. “Nothing. I just love seeing what makes you… you.” 

That’s sweeter than Scar was expecting, considering he was just being made fun of. It makes his heart melt all the same when Grian grabs him by his collar to kiss him. 

Scar can tell something was off when he calls Grian.

He’s learned how to tell when Grian was keeping secrets after an entire season of beating around the bush, so it was really telling when he sounded like he wanted to cry over the phone. “Are you okay?” He asks, but Grian reassures him he’s fine and to get home safe. 

Now Scar is buzzing with anxiety at the Cheesecake Factory. 

He ordered takeout because they both wanted pasta, yet neither of them wanted to cook, and now he can’t get his foot to stop tapping. Scar’s pacing at the goddamn Cheesecake Factory, wishing that Grian had just told him what was wrong. 

He nearly runs out of the Cheesecake Factory when he gets handed their food. He only speeds a little in his efforts to get home sooner, hoping he won’t walk into something horrific when he returns to his apartment. 

Scar swings the door open, and he’s greeted by the sight of Grian sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He tosses the food bag onto the table and grabs Grian’s shoulder, forcing him to look at him. “What happened!?” 

Scar takes in Grian’s appearance, and his hands start shaking. Guilt weighs down Grian's eyes, he has bitten his lips raw, and his hair is a mess. Scar’s blood runs cold, but he can’t tell what’s wrong for the life of him. 

Grian hesitates, and Scar finds his patience dwindling. “What!? Spit it out!” Scar shouts, not unkindly, but he’s frustrated. Grian’s scaring him, and he has no clue what’s happening.

“Scar, I’m sorry,” Grian says lifelessly. “I opened the door, and I let Jellie out. I couldn’t get her back inside when I tried. She took off. I’m so, so sorry.” 

Scar lets go of Grian to run his hands through his hair. That’s it? Jellie doesn’t make a habit of running out on him, but when she does, she usually comes back the same day. He can see why it freaked Grian out since he doesn’t live with her, but Grian nearly sent him into a panic attack over something he easily could’ve explained over the phone. 

“Oh my god…” Scar mutters. He turns back to Grian. “Why didn’t you just say that?” 

“I thought I could get her back before you got here,” Grian defends. He holds his hands up in surrender. 

“You thought you could get her back, right…” Scar rubs his eyes, surprised to find them wet. He was scared, but he didn’t realize he was that scared. “She’ll probably be back in an hour! Why couldn’t you just say that?”

Something shifts in the air when Scar raises his voice. He doesn’t do it often, definitely not at Grian, either. He’s not even particularly angry, but the frustration of the unknown just got to him. Scar is good at being patient, but it isn’t endless. 

And Grian’s been better about not lashing out when things go wrong, but he hasn’t perfected that either. Grian’s jaw tightens when he says, “I didn’t know that. It’s not my fault she got out!” 

“I didn’t say it was your fault. I’m just asking you to tell me things instead of keeping your secrets. How are you even mad at me right now?” Scar scoffs. 

“Keeping my secrets? What’s that supposed to mean?” Grian doesn’t let him answer. “Is this gonna be a thing now? Are you gonna hold this against me for the rest of our lives?” 

“No!” Scar waves his arms around. He has no idea how Grian came to that conclusion, but he isn’t entertaining that right now. “I’m not holding it against you! But I called you to ask whose name our food was under, and I could hear how shifty and nervous you were. You had me scared shitless! You can’t… do that to me!” 

Grian blinks rapidly, and Scar watches the anger leave him in the way his shoulders relax when he takes a deep breath. His lips press into a thin line, looking away from Scar. “I didn’t want you to know.” 

“Why?” Scar pleads. “I’m not mad that she got out.”

Grian nods; Scar sighs in relief that he believes him. “I thought I could fix it by myself.” 

At once, the fight leaves Scar. He forgets that’s how Grian has operated through life until now. On the other hand, Scar can’t help it when his mind flies straight to the worst-case scenario that leaves his body in physical pain. His terror consumes him sometimes, and it came to a head when he heard Grian’s panicky voice over the phone.

Scar sits next to Grian, and Grian reaches out to lace their hands together. Grian heaves a tired sigh. “I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

He takes a second to breathe before he responds. “I didn’t mean to yell,” Scar says. He didn’t. He, of all people, understands the urge to fix everything and everybody before any of his mistakes could be permanent. “It’s Jellie. I get why you freaked.” 

Grian presses his face into Scar’s shoulder, his cold nose cooling Scar down even through his sweater. “I can’t promise not to do that again, but I’ll try.” 

Scar nods. He rarely jumps to hostility when facing his problems, but it came out this time. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad. Grian, I was just… frustrated. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you, though. But Jellie will be back soon. So I wish you had just told me because I would’ve told you this over the phone.”

“I’m sorry too.” There’s a pause when Grian speaks, huffing out a laugh through his nose. “And I’m sorry that my therapist is going to have to hear about this now.” 

His joke eases the tension, and Scar laughs along with him. He presses a quick peck to Grian’s forehead before Grian ducks his kiss, opting to wrap his arms around Scar for a hug. Scar’s content to hold him all the same, and he buries his face into Grian’s neck to eliminate the space between them.

The movie is on, but Scar isn’t watching too attentively. 

While Lilo & Stitch (yawn, but Grian wanted to watch it) plays, it’s more background noise. He keeps glancing at Grian now and again, just to look at him, even when Grian leans across the couch to kick him in the chest for being distracted. 

He’s already not the biggest fan of Lilo & Stitch, but he still waits until the opportunity arises to ask about what’s been on his mind. Grian gets up to put the popcorn bowl in the sink, tired of holding it after Jellie tries to eat the kernels when they set the bowl on the floor. When Grian gets back, Scar doesn’t let him sit across the couch again. He grabs Grian by the arm, pulling him in to lie directly next to him. 

“Oh my god, we don’t fit!” Grian laughs as they both try to squeeze in on the couch. Grian shifts to lying on top of Scar when Scar nearly falls off the couch. 

Once Scar is sure no one is going to fall on Jellie, he recaptures Grian’s attention. “When do you want to meet my parents?”

Grian isn’t prepared for the question, but Scar’s been lulling it over for a while now. After he told his parents he was dating someone, they nearly flew in the next day so they could meet him. He’s never had a serious relationship like this, and he expected it to feel like glass. Scar didn’t know if he would fuck up royally and the entire thing would shatter. Grian has proven he doesn’t care about any of the proper “relationship” stuff like cute first dates, but it’s still a learning curve. 

His parents had initially grilled him like crazy, and he’s aware that dating someone in his rookie season is crazy. They worried, and he’s sure they still do, even if they claim otherwise. He’s also sure that properly meeting Grian is going to make them see how he could even fathom falling in love after years of swearing off romance for his career. 

“I’ve already met them!” Grian tries, but it’s a weak defense. 

Scar chuckles. “Not in passing!” He knows they waved to each other when his parents came to one of his races. “An actual, proper ‘meet the parents.’ When would you want to do that?”

Grian looks at the TV, avoiding eye contact. “Do I have to?” 

“Yes!” Scar laughs into Grian’s hair. “You don’t have to be scared. It also doesn’t have to be soon. But the season’s starting soon, and I was curious if and when you’d want to.” 

One of Grian’s chilly hands slips under the hem of Scar’s shirt, tracing shapes into his skin with his nail. Scar drinks his touch like water after a rough race in Singapore. “Do your parents know our teams are competing all the time?” 

Scar rolls his eyes. “No, I tell them absolutely nothing about my racing life. Of course they know! It sounds like a bad idea whenever I explain it because, on paper, it is. But then they’ll meet you, and it’ll all make sense.” 

He expects pushback. He expects Grian to hesitate and list all the reasons he’s terrified and won’t do it soon. Scar knows this is a big thing to bring up, especially with Grian’s own issues surrounding parental figures. 

But then Grian hums, and he’s nodding. “If they’re anything like you, then I probably have nothing to worry about.”

Scar would’ve sat up if not for Grian on his chest. “Really?”

“I don’t make everything in life difficult,” Grian teases. “But yeah, really. It sounds scary, and I want to get my bearings on the season before we do anything like that, but it’s a good plan to have for the future.” 

Scar breaks out into a grin. “They’re going to love you. They’re going to love you so much, I–” 

He’s glad they put on Lilo & Stitch in the end. He didn’t think he’d be down to make out during a Disney movie, but he forgets all about it when Grian sighs into his mouth.

Scar leaves Grian to his own devices when he joins a Zoom call with his therapist.

He tidies up the place, looking around a little sadly. It’s almost time for the car launches to start, signaling the beginning of the end of winter break. His little paradise can only last so much longer. 

This time last year, he was buzzing with energy. He was dying with anticipation to get the show moving, and his first season in F1 started sooner. While he’s definitely excited to get back on track and show that he’s even better than last year after all the sim work he’s put in, it sucks that the livery reveal is going to force a split between him and Grian. 

Of course, Scar could take Grian with him, somehow. But Grian has the Sahara car launch two days later and logistically, it’s more effort than it’s probably worth. Scar sighs. He should get to packing soon, seeing as his flight is next week. 

He is excited to see the car and hear about all the upgrades, don’t get him wrong. It’s going to set the tone for the season, and he’s itching to get behind a real wheel again. He’s just gotten very used to having Grian with him all the time, and he loves having their own bubble. 

They're also going to feel an instant change, being with friends after their solo time. Scar loves Joel and Mumbo to death, but Scar has to live with the fact that Joel slept in the same room the first time he and Grian spent the night together. 

The door to his room opens, interrupting Scar’s thoughts and laments about whether Joel or Mumbo is going to be the clingiest this season. He spots Grian in his favorite comfy red sweater and black sweats, a staple for his therapy sessions. Grian always says that if he’s going to pour his heart out, he’s going to do it as comfortably as he can. 

“Hey, how’d it go?” Scar asks as Grian walks over. He kisses Grian’s cheek once he’s beside him.

Grian nods, contempt. “Good. We’re keeping the weekly sessions, but skipping race weekends unless I really need her. Can’t imagine what could happen during a race weekend that would require that.” 

Scar’s caught off guard by the joke, snorting out a laugh. “Well, at least she’s here now. You’re not alone, not ever.” 

Something in Grian’s gaze softens, and he moves to sit on the couch with Scar. Scar loves that Grian does that now. Grian never holds back with Scar, confident and assured that he can just be himself. In turn, Scar lets Grian have all of him–not just the perfect parts, but some of the ugly and messy bits too. 

They’re parts of himself that, this time last year, he never imagined he’d let a single person see. Racing before F1 taught him that people would be ruthless, and while that still holds up, he never gave people the chance to be good either. He never opened up, pushed teammates away, refused most friends, and opted out of relationships. Scar never imagined he would be sitting on his couch with a boyfriend from a rival team. He always imagined it as an isolated, unwelcoming world, but the friends he’s made couldn’t be further from that. 

Grian smiles at him, bringing a hand up to Scar’s face. “You know, I really love you.” 

Scar presses their foreheads together, breathing each other’s air. He takes a moment to thank his past self. He might’ve been closed off before, too afraid of appearing imperfect to others, but he’s glad he took the time to really get to know Grian. Even when he nearly dismissed Grian, something drew him back in.

“I love you too,” Scar whispers into the air of their secluded solitude. It’s everything Scar never asked for, and it’s everything he’s ever longed for. “I can’t wait.” 

Grian pulls back a bit to raise an eyebrow. “For what?”

Scar shrugs. He was contemplating his future in this same place a year ago, but it’s never looked this bright. “To see all the amazing things we do this season. And then to do all those amazing things with you.”

“I’m excited too,” Grian says sheepishly. “I really think I can win it this year.”

It’s the first time Grian has admitted that all break. 

He told Grian about his failed seasons in F3 a while ago and exactly why his journey to F1 was so difficult. It seems Grian took more from that conversation than Scar thought. “Are you ready to face it all?”

It’s not just a question about racing. Scar’s asking about them, their future together, their individual futures, and life in general. He watches Grian think it over, then nod with certainty. “Absolutely.” 

“Pedal to the medal, baby.” 

Grian laughs at his bad joke, and Scar loves him for it.