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Chisa looked up at the cloudless sky above her. A month had passed since she'd started attending the academy again, and she still couldn't believe this was her life.
A life where she was welcome. Where days passed in warm sunshine and surrounded by friends - or if not, at least in a group that didn't openly despise her.
Sometimes it all came back to her - years of bullying and teasing. She caught herself checking her desk every day before class, expecting to see insults scrawled there in bright marker. Nothing happened. Quite the contrary, she was surprised by how many people made the effort to get to know her better and wanted her to feel comfortable there.
"We're here if you need anything," they said. And Chisa couldn't be happier. One person in particular. Lynae, her friend from the next desk.
Chisa couldn't decipher her no matter how hard she tried. Ever since she'd first seen her, the (badly dyed, Chisa thought, glancing at her brown roots peeking out from beneath the dye, as well as the mismatched greenish streak) blonde had constantly tried to draw her into academic life, from simple introductions to friendly bike rides.
Of course, Chisa didn't dare complain. In fact, she enjoyed it more than she cared to admit. The feeling of being liked… was more than she could hope for most of her life.
Although Lynae's face blurred before her eyes, just like everyone else's, Chisa found a great comfort in her small skull-shaped hair clip, bright colors, and various accessories. Lynae was everywhere, a sun in whose shadow Chisa had no trouble remaining. With her, she didn't have to worry about her inability to express her emotions well or being awkward - it never bothered Lynae. She never took offense or pushed Chisa away.
The black-haired girl tightened her fingers on the black collar around her neck - she often did, reminding herself she wasn't in danger of losing control - as she walked down the sidewalk to school, lost in thought. An enthusiastic shout, preceded by a wave of greetings, broke her out of her reverie. Even before she looked back, she knew it was Lynae. The girl was liked by almost everyone. Chisa smiled to herself and shook her head.
"Hi, Chisa-senpai." Lynae clung to her arm with a goofy smile. Chisa snorted. "I told you not to call me that," she scolded her, but there was no anger in it. People often joked about her being "old," and Chisa laughed with them because technically she was, right?
Lynae just smiled, throwing her white jacket over her shoulder and they walked in silence side by side for a moment. Chisa closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of fresh air. A quiet Lynae was rare, but around Chisa, she often fell silent, simply feeling comfortable in her company, which, of course, was mutual.
“How do you like the academy so far? Better or worse than twenty years ago?” Lynae finally broke the silence as they entered the noisy hallway.
“Hmm,” Chisa pretended to think deeply. “Probably worse. I didn’t have any hyperactive students bothering me back then.” She happily absorbed the shocked expression on the blonde beside her. “I’m kidding!”
“You’re breaking my heart, honey,” Lynae declared, placing a hand on her chest in a dramatic gesture, which made Chisa blush slightly against her will. She’d spent most of her life alone, let alone in any close relationships, so the slightest teasing had a stronger effect on her than it should have. She cleared her throat, adjusting the strap of the bag on her shoulder.
They finally reached the classroom and took their adjacent seats, and Chisa had to put in more effort to stay focused than ever before. Couldn't joy and concentration go hand in hand?
—------------------------------------------
During lunchtime, they wandered into the academic gardens, sitting on the nearest bench. Chisa was happy for the company, for the chance to experience the life of a normal student, unencumbered by problems she hadn't signed up for. A shadow appeared in her eyes, only to vanish a second later. Her friend's voice, as always, brought her back to reality.
"Let's skip class. I want to get out of here!" the blonde announced, circling restlessly on her roller skates. Chisa shook her head.
"It's only Tuesday, and you've already missed several classes. You need to get your act together, Miss Lynae," she announced firmly. As soon as they started spending time together, Chisa took on the role of the responsible one and tried to keep her in line, though it wasn't an easy task. "I just got enrolled again; I can't afford it this early. And neither can you, actually."
“But—” she began, but stopped at the look the dark haired girl gave her. She sighed heavily. “Okay, fine. But instead, you owe me a bike trip after school. I want to have some fun. Deal?”
“Deal.” Chisa agreed without hesitation. But why did her heart flutter so much?
The rest of the day alternated between dragging and passing in a flash as Chisa impatiently awaited the end of her classes. Even in math, she often drifted off, biting the tip of her pencil and missing the blonde who should have been next to her. However, they weren’t together in all of the classes, them being often separated by levels.
When she wasn't thinking about Lynae, her thoughts drifted to Sumika. Although guilt still plagued her, she was slowly learning to accept the way things were, no matter how unfair. She knew she would never forget the woman and what she had done for her. It was for her that she promised herself to live each day to the fullest. So that her sacrifices wouldn't be in vain.
Which, of course, ultimately didn't make anything easier.
When the last class finally ended, she breathed out a sigh of relief. She grabbed her bag, packed her notebooks, and headed out to the schoolyard, looking around for her friend. She didn't have to look for long, as Lynae was already waiting for her at the entrance, leaning against her shiny bike. She smiled brightly at her, waving energetically.
Chisa approached the bike and its owner. Of course, she had experience with it already; Lynae loved riding it, and ever since she met Chisa, she had insisted on riding it at least once a day to "get to know the new area better and show her what's worth seeing," and Chisa didn't object, allowing her friend to drag her along wherever she pleased.
Lynae reached back and soon after extended her hand, holding a shiny helmet, to Chisa. "For you. I bought it, so now you're officially my travel companion."
Chisa reached for the helmet with a small, pleasantly surprised smile. She looked at Lynae, her gaze roaming over her blurry face, lingering for a while on her cute hair clip and unruly locks flowing in the wind. A few strands escaped her hair tie, and Chisa had to fight to keep herself from reaching out and fixing them back in place.
"Let's go then," she said, swinging a leg over the bike and settling comfortably into the seat. Lynae nodded enthusiastically, humming as she hopped into the driver's seat.
Although Lynae had always been the one to suggest these spontaneous trips, Chisa definitely enjoyed them. She liked the mix of pinks and purples painting the sky as they sped down the highway, the breeze ruffling their hair, and the music playing in the background (Lynae liked sharing earbuds while driving. She reasoned that it was safer this way, as it was leaving one of her ears free and alert when she handed one over to Chisa). It was almost the most relaxing experience of her life - almost, because every time she was forced to wrap her arms around Lynae's waist and press her head against her back, her heart practically leapt out of her chest. She even considered going to the medical wing to ask about it once. However, she realized that physical causes probably weren't the real issue.
That was one of the things that irritated her more than anything else. Feelings were complicated. She could calculate, estimate, and solve technical problems, but interpersonal relationships and humanity itself weren't subject to any rules or calculations, which confused her. She was good with numbers, but with feelings? Not at all. In such situations, she often cursed her condition, which prevented her from examining Lynae's face. She longed to see her, to try to read her thoughts and reactions, and memorize them like a mathematical formula. But that wasn't possible, not anymore. She sighed and tightened her arms around her, trying to focus on the beautiful views and the sunlight sparkling on the surface of the water.
Before she knew it, they were there, and the bike came to an abrupt stop. She pushed her hair back from her face and looked around. They were in Fangspire Chasm, near a pleasant hot spring, with a lovely waterfall to the right and a few rocks around it sheltering from the wind. It might normally be a bit of an odd place to visit after a school day, but the numerous springs were something Chisa surprisingly appreciated in this new place, and she was glad Lynae had remembered. She hopped off the bike and approached the spring, kicking off her school shoes along the way and touching the surface with her toe, shuddering at the feeling of the warm, bubbling water. Soon, they were both strolling inside, barefoot, simultaneously awaiting the sunset, which was sure to be beautiful, and then afterwards which would be the best part of their day.
Ever since the two of them first went there together, the girls had loved to splash in the hot springs after their long days, so that after watching the sunset, they could lounge under the stars, tracing the constellations with their eyes and discussing everything and nothing at the same time. Chisa had never had friends with whom she could experience these things, so now she naturally basked in the feeling, wishing it could last forever.
She knew it wasn't possible, but before she knew it, Lynae had become a beacon in her usually dark days, illuminating every moment with her presence. And Chisa knew she was becoming selfish, wanting to soak up all that light so it would always be focused on her, and only her. She sighed softly and turned her face to the side, studying the blonde's profile. Or at least, trying to. She wanted to see the curve of her nose and the shade of her cheeks when she was nervous, to gaze at her dimples, her eyebrows, and how they all looked together. What expressions had crossed her face when they lay there together? Did she have freckles?
Without thinking about it, Chisa reached out, almost placing her hand on Lynae's cheek when she hesitated. She decided to ask. "Can I touch your face?"
Lynae turned her face so that they would have made eye contact if the situation had been different. "Of course, why?"
"I can't see it clearly. Faces are blurry to me. I want to… know what yours look like. Feel it? Does that make sense?"
Lynae smiled and intertwined their fingers, guiding Chisa's hand to her cheek. Encouraged by this, the dark-haired girl began her journey, from her cheek to her chin, to the small dimples by Lyn's mouth when she couldn't help the awkward smile blooming on her lips. Chisa was about to touch her there as well, but then she pulled her hand away, lying flat on her back again.
"You know, I'm really glad I met you. I..." Chisa swallowed, unsure how to continue. Finally, she picked up: "I wasn't particularly well-liked in my hometown, so... I never did those things. Normal things, I guess."
"Me neither," the other replied, folding her hands behind her head and gazing at the stars above. The sky had already darkened completely, and the cool night breeze had made its presence felt. "Believe it or not, I understand what it's like to have a past you don't want to remember. My life... it wasn't always like this. I have a lot of catching up to do, and it's a wonderful coincidence that you do too." She gave her the brightest smile Chisa had ever seen, especially one directed at her. “I want to experience all of this with you. I've never had more fun than right here and now. Can you… continue being my travel companion?”
She squeezed the brunette's hand in hers. She looked into the girl's red eyes with hope and a hint of worry. Was she too quick? Too pushy?
“I’d love to.” Chisa smiled sincerely. Since meeting Lynae, she'd smiled more often than ever before. Her cheeks were pink. Well, actually, both girls were red to the tips of their ears, which this time they could blame on the cold. Thankfully.
They didn't return to the dorm until late at night.