Work Text:
I pushed you off the edge
With no safety net
It was me or you—
I tell myself
But then I see you
Fallen
Broken into brittle, jagged glass
The way you try to shield yourself
trying to seem strong
When you're anything but
The desperation
Reaching out to someone who won't come
It's all too familiar
How did it come to this
Yesterday keeps replaying in my head
You confided in me
I couldn't trust it
Although I wanted to
You reach your hand out to me
As though together
We could be free
The hesitant hope in your gaze
Made me accept the possibility
The uncertainty I feel
I saw it mirrored in you
Just for a moment
I could forget
Fears, anxieties, the future
Faded into the dark
Against the now of your presence
I lost myself in an illusion
I thought you could be the shoulder
I leaned on
I thought we could spend nights
Skipping stones
I thought that I could hold your hand
For an infinity
But the joke's on me
I'm too weak
Too ruined
Too selfish
To ever be what you needed
I lit you on fire
instead of dousing the flame
I can't blame this on him
It was my plan
to make you fall to pieces
Yet, even now, I feel it
Even though it's far too late to change anything
The pangs of regret
So I look away
To shield my own pain