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Uzi, N, and V sat around a colorful board game. They were all seated around the colony's dedicated game table, right outside door one. Rows and columns of colorful squares lined her vision.
Hues and clues, probably the worst game for robots to play because their vision was already color tinted.
“Cyn.”
N spoke the next color to guess. Uzi gave him a glare. They typically avoided mentioning her as much as possible, especially with V around.
“Can't you use any other word?”
“Dude. I am. Literally. Right here.”
Uzi slapped the Cyn tail, and glanced over at V. The aforementioned drone was bouncing her leg, but paid no mind and placed her piece on the board. Uzi sighed and followed, placing her own piece nearby.
“Human pee.”
Uzi was stumped. Both as to why he was choosing…nostalgic words and to where he learned the color of human pee so innately.
“How many times did you watch Tessa pee…?”
V asked N with a concerned tone.
“Oh, none. It was her dad…it was very uncomfortable…”
He scratched the back of his head sheepishly while Uzi and V placed their pieces. N showed them the correct color, revealing they were both very off. Apparently he was looking for the color pink. Uzi promptly decided she was done because this game was getting more and more traumatic by the moment.
“Okay, I quit. Get therapy.”
She got up, walking away. Uzi was getting bored of the game anyway.
…but that wasn't the only reason. Truth be told, her stomach was starting to cramp and she wanted an excuse to go back to her room. Stupid robo-uterus. They didn't even need wombs, they only carried the code on their motherboard and promptly transferred it into a new body.
She paused, turning to see if the others were coming too. N got up to follow her, and V reluctantly followed in suit.
Uzi was crumpled in her own bed. N was sweet—bringing her oil, warm water bottles, USB sticks with pain killers to download—but nothing was helping. It only got worse and worse by the week.
“You should really see a technician for that.”
“Doctors, N. And I don't want to. What if it's solver-based? It only started after…her. They won't be able to fix that.”
“Well, you don't know if you don't try, right?”
Uzi sat anxiously in the waiting room. Everyone decided to come to this. N, her dad, her mom, and even V decided to come along. It was a stark contrast to the last time she was here, her only guest being her disinterested dad.
She thought it would be comforting, but it only made her more nervous. Was it really that bad? She didn't even know what normal was like anymore.
“Uzi Doorman?”
A nurse called for her. Her and her gaggle of freaks followed into an uncomfortably small exam room.
Uzi was forced to change into a gown, and had all sorts of invasive stuff done. They especially enjoyed putting warm goo on her and rubbing a stupid wand over it. Did that stuff even work on robots?
Whatever. It was almost over now.
“It looks like there's some sort of excess growth inside your robo-uterus and potentially your robo-ovaries as well. It looks…fleshy. We could perform a discovery surgery to see what's inside, but I don't think you will be able to save it either way. You are better off getting a total hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. This removes your robo-uterus, robo-ovaries and robo-fallopian tubes.”
Robo robo robo. Uzi would rather be called a clanker at this point. She was also massively embarrassed, having basically everybody in her life hear about her fleshy reproductive organ. While simultaneously forced to wear a revealing and mildly transparent paper gown.
Yayyyy.
And to add insult to injury, her parents just had to chime in. Simultaneously, they asked the doctor the same question.
“What about kids?”
Uzi covered her face as the doctor answered that no, she cannot have kids after a hysterectomy. She regretted letting them come. She didn't even want stupid kids.
Her dad then directed his voice at her.
“You need to get to screwing those murder drones right now young lady. I don't mind a hybrid baby, but I need grandkids.”
“Dad?!”
N grabbed her hand. She looked over at his face, and he was just as embarrassed. Sweat was speeding down his visor and the blush marks were practically larger than his eyes. V snickered.
Then her mom started.
“You know, surrogacy exists. It's harder without your robo-ovaries, but you could still upload your primary code into a surrogate.”
She glanced at V. If Uzi and N were gonna suffer, then she was gonna make V suffer too.
“Okay, we’ll make V carry our baby.”
She pointed dramatically. V looked genuinely offended.
“I don't have a uterus???”
Huh, Uzi didn't know that. She kind of assumed all drones did, but it did make sense that only Copper-9 drones would have one. Earth models never exactly figured out reproduction.
N, of course, interpreted V’s statement in a very different way.
“Awwww, if you had a uterus you would be willing?”
“NO?”
They ended up in a cat fight, weakly slapping each other. Uzi watched blankly, feeling herself retreat into her own head.
So she really had to do this? Uzi didn't want to get surgery. She had enough of her core being torn out for a lifetime.
She did not want anyone inside of her again. They would power her off, sure, but that was also scary. Giving them full control over her, just like Cyn—
“Hey Uzi, you good?”
Her lovely boyfriend asked, knocking her out of her stupor. Uzi’s mother also turned to her, picking up on her discomfort.
“Uzi, I’ll still love you, even with your lack of uterus.”
“I wasn't worried about that?! W-what if I like, die or something?”
The nurse tried to assure the crowd she would be fine, but they was not having it. It resulted in them being left alone to discuss amongst themselves, with Uzi getting increasingly freaked out.
Uzi sat on her bed. She was attempting to watch a movie with N, but her eyes were glazed over. Surgery was scheduled, and happening in just two days. She wanted to back out, it’s not like the pain was that bad. Well, she did agree to get the surgery done. But it got more and more nerve-wracking as the days got closer. And it was a stupid issue anyway. It's not like she was growing wings or a tail, she was just growing…a mess internally. It wasn't cool, it was just stupid.
The movie suddenly paused. She turned to see N’s hand on the remote.
“It's going to go fine. I can stay with you during it, if you want?”
“Y-yeah, whatever. Unpause it!”
Day of surgery. Uzi wasn't allowed any oil since midnight, and it was quickly getting on her nerves. She was really warm and her abdomen was continuing to cramp, but putting something warm on it just raised her temperature further.
At least this should be the last day of dealing with this. She got ready, getting dressed and walking out to see her parents dressed up in business formal. Her dad had a full suit and tie somehow tailored to a worker drone body, and her mom had on a dress…somehow. Uzi wasn't going to question that.
“Hey Uzi! Are you ready for your big day?”
She stared back at him, dumfounded.
“What?”
“C’mon kid, it's going to go great.”
Uzi hummed dismissively. They can't just tell her that, it didn't mean anything. Nobody would know what the hell it was until later today anyway.
Speaking of time. She checked her internal clock for the time, then panicked.
“OH ROBO-GOD I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR MY HYSTERECTOMY.”
Uzi darted to the medbay, making it into their little designated surgical wing. She checked in, getting a crazy amount of forms to fill out and a little cup.
“We don't know why humans did this before surgery, but they did so it must be important. Here's a cup, go in the bathroom with it for a while, then bring it back.”
…okay? Uzi grabbed it and went into the bathroom. She felt hungry, nauseous, and slightly out of her mind. She grabbed the sink, turning the water on to mask her nervous panting.
“Geeeeez. Relax. I got a hysterectomy too. It's not that big of a deal.”
What?
“You? You had a hysterectomy? I thought only C9 drones could…?”
“Uzi. Your planet has two models of drones. Miner drones and experimental drones. The humans wanted to test the solver. So, what earth drone were they based on?”
“....oooooohhhh. So you are the reason I have this?”
“I didn't choose to have a robo-uteru—”
Uzi slapped Cyn, then poked her fingers in the tail’s eyes.
“WHAT. I’M TRYING TO BE REASSURING. EXACERBATED GROANING NOISES.”
Uzi sighed, fiddling with the cup. Even if she wouldn't admit it, Uzi did feel a little better. Cyn did this before, and clearly it went fine for her, so Uzi might be as well.
Uzi walked into the operating room, shoes discarded and grippy socks on. She laid down on the table as directed, being forced to shift up to get her head on the padding. Her legs and arms were strapped in, with her left arm being pulled out for vitals or something. Three different powered off surgical lights were overhead, staring her down and freaking her out more. N wasn't allowed to come into the room for sterility or something like that, but he stood near the entrance with a reassuring smile and two thumbs up. She watched him as more and more magnets were placed on her head, and the world spun as they plugged a wire to her head. Finally, they hit the kill switch.
Muffled conversations surrounded her. Robo-god, she felt like she took the worst nap of her life. This was worse than waking up in the labs with a magnet to her head.
Uzi tried focusing on the chatter. She worked her hardest to open her eyes, which should not have been that hard because it was literally just a screen. Slowly, everything managed to come together. She saw nurses sitting around, talking and occasionally glancing at her. N was standing to her right this time, still present but a lot more bored.
She groaned.
“Uzi!! You're awake! How are you feeling?”
“Uhhhhh….awake?”
She really just felt normal. Not how she expected waking up from major surgery would go. Although she did have the solver's crazy regeneration abilities on her side this time, so it wasn't that surprising. Don't look a gift-sentinel in the mouth or something.
She glanced around at the room again, getting a better sense of her surroundings. She wasn't in the operating room anymore, and was instead moved somewhere else.
“What happened while I was under?”
A nurse filled her in. Uzi didn't pay great attention, but caught the basics. They cut her open, her robo-uterus looked more like a flesh crab than a uterus, then they took it out.
“Where is it now? Do I get to see it?”
All of the nurses, including N for some reason, looked uncomfortable.
“V kinda…ate it.”
Said drone peeked her head around the corner, oil and blood still staining her mouth.
“Dude, it was covered in oil, and I was hungry. You didn't tell me to eat before coming.”
“I didn't tell you to come at all??”
Her head collapsed back onto the bed. She poked at N’s hand, leading him to give it to her. She fiddled with his fingers, waiting until she woke up completely to yell at V.
“Sooo uhhh, Uzi. What's it like having no robo-uterus?”
“Uhhhh, I mean. I don't really care. Just means we can't have gross kids or something.”
To Uzi’s horror, Cyn popped up—seemingly unbothered by their body’s anaesthesia.
“Oh! About that! Maniacal laughter. When designing big brother, I may have made a few. Additions. N has a uterus.”
Everyone in the room turned.
“What?!”