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After spending two exhaustingly long weeks holed up in a shoddy motel, Puzzles and WPNZ had finally been able to leave now that the heat on them had died down.
With not much to do on site, it hadn’t taken them very long to grow listless. WPNZ had nothing to shoot at, and there was no audience for Puzzles to captivate. The best method they had for entertaining themselves was sharing a smoke together while pacing around the motel grounds like captive animals. Once that got boring, they’d purchase a few items from the lobby market before returning to their room.
If there was one positive that had emerged from this experience however, it was that Puzzles and WPNZ had gotten to learn more about each other, thus strengthening their bond. In fact, they had become so close, that it culminated in some deeply repressed feelings being brought to the surface in the form of a very intimate night.
When they had miraculously survived closing a space-time rift from the inside, the pair vowed to remain partners in crime as they explored this new world. But, neither of them could have ever predicted that their relationship would turn romantic, especially not after all the turmoil they had put each other through.
Their dynamic hadn’t changed too drastically since labelling themselves an item, aside from a few displays of affection here and there. Puzzles had even told WPNZ that they could be the next Bonnie and Clyde, to which WPNZ heartily agreed. Their crime spree in this new dimension had only just begun, and they’d get to continue it as a deadly power couple.
The moment they had entered the next town, they made it their goal to acquire as much wealth as possible without being noticed. While they didn’t mind traveling about, getting by was a completely different story. They couldn’t survive off of gas station snacks and sleep in the back of a cold van forever, something had to be done in order for them to advance their criminal career.
But, in small towns like this, the kind where historic buildings were intermixed with quaint little mom and pop shops, making a quick bag was easier said than done. If it were a busy city, then WPNZ and Puzzles could rob whatever establishment they wanted and escape long before the cops arrived. The townsfolk would definitely take notice of a large-scale crime, as well as the two newcomers who had shown up days before.
If they wanted any chance of success, they’d have to hunker down and bide their time. They needed to plan this out thoroughly, even if it took longer than they would have liked. So, one of the first things they had done, was look for a place to stay in the meantime.
Unfortunately, with their illicit funds running thin, they found themselves having to lodge at another motel, though at least this one had the perk of being on a beachfront. The little harbor town was so sickeningly pleasant, that it almost felt like a set piece from one of Puzzles’ shows, a sterile, cardboard cutout.
Although they preferred to do things with a bang and make a spectacle out of their misdeeds, they’d have to take a more subtle approach this time around. And try as the town’s residents might to keep up their squeaky clean facade, WPNZ knew that there must be seedier spots lurking just beneath.
The town was small enough to where everyone was in on everyone else’s business, but not so small that they’d bat an eye if somebody went missing. There had to be at least one person out there who wanted someone dead, but never had the means to do so. WPNZ had seen it a million times before, whether it be in the SMG4 world, or this one.
Apparently, he didn’t have to look very far. The town was littered with the usual breeding grounds for crime, albeit cleverly hidden. He had poked around shady bars, dark alleyways, and abandoned warehouses all as a means to nonchalantly advertise his services to anyone who might be interested.
Admittedly, he was eager to resume his assassin work, he had gone weeks without getting his hands dirty, and was itching to pull the trigger. Still, he reminded himself to take things slow, lest he risk casting immediate suspicion on him and Puzzles.
Not only would a new job provide him with the thrill he’d been craving, but it would also help him get a better layout of the town too. That way, when the opportunity arose to pull off a grand heist, him and Puzzles would be prepared.
It hadn’t even been a full week when WPNZ was approached with several requests. The client would go into detail about the target, and the method in which they wanted them disposed of. They would then hand WPNZ an undisclosed amount of cash, before briskly leaving the meeting area. If the job went off without a hitch, then he’d be paid in full.
To commemorate his first job in town, he’d decided to bring Puzzles along with him, and let him take the lead during their stakeout. He wanted to show him what it was truly like to be a hired gun, and that a lot more planning and stealth went into it than previously assumed.
It would be a much slower night than what WPNZ was used to, but at least he’d have Puzzles to keep him company.
The dingy van crept up to the curbside before being put into park. Puzzles turned the key, silencing the engine and dousing the headlights. Him and WPNZ were camped right outside an apartment complex, where their current target dwelled. Lamp posts marked either side of the street, their brilliant bulbs cutting into the bayside haze. Most of the shops had closed hours ago, their owners presumably having gone home to rest.
Puzzles studied the apartment’s variously lit windows from a distance, setting his sights on one in particular. With two fingers, he pointed out the window and took aim. A bolt of electricity shot from his fingertips, and the moment it made contact with the building, his screen turned to static, indicating that he had connected his consciousness to the apartment’s television signal.
WPNZ watched him from the passenger’s seat, his dark form blending in with the shadows, save for his striking yellow eyes. Knowing that this was going to take a few minutes, he decided to pass the time. He opened the glove compartment, and grabbed a small white box.
He gave it a shake, and a single cigarette slid out partway. Gripping the end between his teeth, he pulled it free before reaching for his lighter. He flicked it a couple of times, and when a tiny flame sparked to life, he raised it up to his cigarette. He leaned back, took a deep breath in, and let the addictingly sweet taste of nicotine fill his machinery.
Slowly, he exhaled, curls of gray smoke slipping past his mouth. He glanced over at Puzzles, and saw that his screen was still static. He wasn’t alarmed however, he just assumed that his partner was being his usual, meticulous self, and conducting a needlessly thorough search of the apartment. Still, they didn’t have all night, they needed to get the hit done within a reasonable timeframe.
As if he had heard WPNZ’s thoughts, Puzzles suddenly stirred, breaking from his static trance. His face glitched back onto the screen, and he shook his head.
“Not that I’m ungrateful for you taking me out on a night of splendor,” He faced WPNZ as he dusted off his vest. “But, I was expecting this to be a bit more…exhilarating.”
WPNZ shrugged, cigarette dangling from his mouth. “At least it’s a break from another high speed chase.”
“Yes, well,” Puzzles began. “Isn’t this just a touch underwhelming, at least in comparison to our usual routine?”
“You’ll have to excuse the lack of flashing lights and firepower,” WPNZ remarked dryly. “But, this comes with the territory. We have to scope out the scene first before we can get into the nitty-gritty stuff.”
He paused to take another drag from his cigarette. “I mean, didn’t you ever have to do boring crap back when you were running that network of yours?”
“On the contrary, I ensured that there was never a dull moment in my studio.” Puzzles countered boastfully.
WPNZ crossed one leg over the other as he eyed Puzzles. “So, you’re saying what I do is dull?”
“No, I-” Puzzles cleared his throat, a light blush forming on his screen. “What I meant was, if this were a bigger town, we’d be all gung-ho about it instead of just sitting here.”
“I know,” WPNZ couldn’t help but agree that this was a step down from their regular antics. “Trust me though, once we get the drop on what’s-his-face, you’ll be singing a different tune.”
“Right, I’m sure we’ll be having a grand old time once we eliminate…” Blanking on the target’s name, Puzzles reached over and grasped the crumpled piece of paper laying on the dashboard.
There was a list of names written on it, all of them targets whom WPNZ had been tasked with taking out. Puzzles read the name circled at the very top, and squinted. This couldn’t be right…
“WPNZ, are you certain this is a real target?”
WPNZ tilted his head to get a better look at the list. “What do you mean?”
“What kind of name is Dr. Medicine?” Puzzles lightly smacked the flimsy paper in befuddlement.
“You tell me, Mr. Puzzles.”
Puzzles huffed defensively. “At least Puzzles is the correct spelling. Honestly, W-P-N-Z? With a Z?”
“I think we have bigger things to worry about than my grammar.”
“I just can’t fathom why you’d spell it like that,” Puzzles criticized. “I know you’re not illiterate.”
“Hey, the Z’s cool, okay?” WPNZ argued.
“It’s cool?” Puzzles arched a brow at his partner. “What, did you choose that name yourself?”
WPNZ faltered for a second, but he held his ground. “So what if I did?”
“Wait,” Puzzles ceased their bickering. “Is WPNZ not your given name?”
“Is Puzzles your given name?” He shot back.
“Of course not,” Puzzles replied. “But, why not use your actual name?”
“Given my uh, “profession”, it makes things a lot easier if I use an alias.”
Puzzles supposed that made sense. “Then, what does “WPNZ” stand for?”
“Huh? Oh, it doesn’t stand for anything. It just means “weapons”, cause, you know.” To demonstrate, he withdrew one of his many guns from his wrist.
“I see.”
“So, is there any special meaning to the name Puzzles?”
“Not particularly, aside from my affinity for games,” He answered. “But, I'm more interested in learning your real name.”
WPNZ frowned, and quickly looked away. “Let’s just focus on the job.”
“He’s not even home,” Puzzles informed him with a bored yawn. “I already did a complete sweep of his apartment.”
WPNZ’s eyes went wide. “Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”
“I thought this was part of the job,” He stated. “Waiting for the perfect moment to strike, even if it takes hours.”
WPNZ groaned. “It is, but it’s not like we can just off someone in broad daylight around here.”
“Well, if we must wait,” Puzzles placed his elbows on the armrest and propped his frame (chin) up with his hands. He smiled at WPNZ, and fluttered his pixelated lashes pleadingly. “Then would you consider telling me your name?”
WPNZ wasn’t about to be swayed so easily, especially with how personal the matter was.
“I never even told Karen.” She had only known him as WPNZ, and that's how it would remain.
“WPNZ, I can keep a secret, I swear!” Puzzles sat upright and held up one hand while placing the other to his heart.
WPNZ grumbled something under his breath about boundaries, refusing to budge. Puzzles, however, did not give up.
“How about a compromise?” He bargained. “If we finish this job tonight, will you tell me? I’ll even deal the final blow if you’d like.”
Frustration began to prick at WPNZ. “Even if I wanted to tell you, I still wouldn’t, because you’d act all weird about it.”
Puzzles blinked at him. “Weird? How so?”
WPNZ hesitated. As much as he’d rather talk about anything else, he knew Puzzles wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. He’d wear him down eventually, so maybe it was better to get this out of the way now before it turned into a big ordeal.
“You’d say something like, “Oh, WPNZ, I had no idea that you bore the same name as an artist!”.”
“An artist?” Puzzles’s face lit up with intrigue. “How could you not tell me that you were named after an artist?”
“I wasn’t named after anyone, okay?” He gruffed. “I just happen to share a name with some big shot, and I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“WPNZ, you can’t just leave me on the edge of my seat like this!” Puzzles seemed more excited about the idea of discovering WPNZ’s name than the actual hit job. “You must tell me!”
“No.” WPNZ told him outright. “And don’t think about digging around my head to find out either.”
“Why, I would never!” He gasped, feigning offense. His days of mind control were far behind him…for the most part. Okay, he wouldn’t do it to WPNZ, but if it were an enemy or unsuspecting witness…
“I don’t suppose I could try and guess?” He glanced over at WPNZ, fishing for his approval.
If the subject didn’t make him so uncomfortable, then WPNZ would have almost found it cute that Puzzles was trying so hard to learn more about his past. Even on the off chance that he did correctly guess his name, it’s not like he had to confirm anything.
“Knock yourself out.”
“A hint, perhaps? Just a small one?” Puzzles requested.
“…Renaissance period.” WPNZ muttered begrudgingly, regret already entering him.
“Really? How fascinating!” Each time Puzzles made a guess, his screen changed to a different image.
“A painter? Philosopher?”
WPNZ didn’t respond, he didn’t so much as shake his head, he just gazed disinterestedly out the front window.
“Composer?”
“…”
“Author?”
Puzzles noticed WPNZ’s shoulders tense when he said that, a very subtle tell.
“Oh, now we’re getting somewhere!” He rubbed his palms together excitedly, stars forming in his eyes.
While Puzzles leaned more towards the performing arts, he had a deep appreciation for literary works, they were some of the first stepping stones that had made theatre what it was today!
“We can definitely rule out Shakespeare,” He presumed. “Given it’s the nickname you oh-so lovingly bestowed upon me.”
“Is it a different playwright?” He went on. “A novelist? What about a poet?”
WPNZ clenched his jaw, and he crossed his arms self-consciously, fingers digging into the sleeve of his jacket.
“You know what?” He finally spoke. “Forget I said anything, I don’t wanna do this anymore.”
“But I’m so close!” Puzzles begged. “I can feel it in my circuits!”
And that was the problem.
“I mean it, Puzzles,” WPNZ glared at him. “Drop it.”
Puzzles held WPNZ’s heated stare for a moment, and quickly grasped that his prying was upsetting him. He slowly nodded his head, before settling back into his seat.
“Of course.”
An awkward silence overtook the van. Puzzles looked at WPNZ, then back down at his hands.
“Walter.”
“What?”
“That’s my name,” He explained. “Walter.”
“Oh, uh-” WPNZ’s anger waned, and he tried relieving the tension with a joke. “Disney, or White?”
Puzzles rolled his eyes and playfully shoved his snickering partner. “Oh, hush up!”
“C’mon, let’s call you Wally.” He teased. “WPNZ and Wally, the most feared couple of all time!”
“You know, I think I prefer Shakespeare, or even Boxhead.”
“Whatever you say, Walter.” WPNZ put his hands behind his head and leaned back.
“Walter Jr., actually.” Puzzles’ face transformed into a scowl, his hand clenching into a fist. He spat out his next words with venom. “I was named after my scoundrel father.”
WPNZ felt a pang of sympathy. Puzzles had mentioned before that his father had not been a great man, and mistreated him during his childhood. The name “Walter” must have dredged up many painful memories, ones he did not wish to remember- something WPNZ could relate to all too much.
“Can’t really blame you for wanting to change it.”
“I used to think it was a handsome name,” Puzzles sighed. “Of course, that was before…”
He went quiet, his screen turning fuzzy.
“Was the name thing exclusively your pops’ doing, or did your mom have any input?”
“She…couldn’t disobey him,” Puzzles fidgeted in discomfort. “Not after she and him had tried so hard to bury their shameful little secret.”
“What secret?”
“That I’d been conceived out of wedlock,” He hissed. “Father somehow had the audacity to resent her for it, as if she were the one who had brought shame onto the family.”
He drew in a slow breath to ease himself, before letting it go.
“She left before things got too ugly, but that meant I had to endure the brunt of Father’s torment all on my own.”
WPNZ couldn’t help but think Puzzles’ constant need for attention had something to do with his mother’s absence.
“I often find it very hard to not fault her for it,” He continued. “Though, I suppose she was only human, just like I once was.”
“You remember what that’s like?” WPNZ prodded. “Being human, I mean. I wouldn’t know jack about being organic.”
“It was- I think-” Puzzles struggled to put it into words. “It’s not that there’s anything wrong with being human per se, but I had felt wrong, like there was so much more I could accomplish if I wasn’t trapped inside a mortal shell. My life had felt completely aimless until I…underwent my metamorphosis.”
“Did it hurt? When you-”
“Yes.”
“Was it worth it? Do you like being…this?”
“I do.” There was zero doubt in his voice. “What about you, though? How does it feel to be a robot since birth- er, construction?”
“What, you think I was assembled in a factory or something?” WPNZ half-joked.
“I-I wouldn’t know!” Puzzles answered, flustered. “I don’t know who built you, or how you were built, or if you required any building at all!”
“This may come as a surprise to you, but us robots can have parents too.”
“How does that-?” Puzzles shook his head. He didn’t need to know about that. What he did need to know, were the identities behind the pair who had raised WPNZ into what he was today. “What were they like?”
WPNZ looked at the floor and narrowed his eyes, contemplative.
“Right,” Puzzles apologized. “You’d rather not talk about it.”
WPNZ grappled over whether or not he should tell the truth. Puzzles had over-shared, not like that was anything new, but he wasn’t so sure if he wanted to do the same. Well, if they were in this together for the long haul, then he might as well trust Puzzles with his innermost secrets. But, before he could do that, he’d need something to help him with his trip down memory lane.
He closed his eyes, and reclined his head back before taking a long draw from his cigarette. He held it for several seconds- he was going to be cleaning out gunk from his gears for the next few days- before letting the smoke escape.
“For starters, my old man was loaded, pun not intended.” He didn’t look Puzzles’ way as he recounted his childhood. “Sort of, he had to stash his fortune off shore so he wouldn’t get in trouble.”
Puzzles straightened himself out, attentive.
“More importantly,” WPNZ waved his cigarette around as he talked, stirring up smoke from the burning end. “He and his crew were arms dealers for the black market back when the war was still going on. His work was top notch too, caught the attention of some pretty powerful people.”
A rather insulting chuckle had slipped out of Puzzles. Surely WPNZ had to be pulling his leg.
“Oh, what? Was he a mobster?”
WPNZ just stared at him with a straight-faced expression.
Puzzles’ amusement faded, and was immediately replaced with shock.
“You can’t be serious!” He exclaimed.
“You open your jaw any wider and it’s gonna fall out of your frame.”
“I just-” Puzzles stammered incredulously. “It sounds unbelievable, like something straight out of a film! And trust me, I’d know about that!”
“Anyways,” WPNZ pressed on. “I think he was trying to start a legacy or something, ‘cause he went around rubbing elbows with some of the most notorious felons at the time. And these guys were no joke either, you did not want to fuck with them.”
“I can…” Puzzles was still processing what he’d just been told. “I can see where he passed his intimidating prowess onto you.”
“No kidding,” WPNZ chuckled shortly. “The way my folks saw it, killing wasn’t just some casual hobby, it was a way of life. The second you learned how to walk, they put a gun in your hand and taught you how to shoot.”
He gave the side of his cannon helmet a light tap. “This actually used to be a double-barrel shotgun at one point.”
“How did fate bring your parents together, exactly?” Puzzles inquired.
“My mom was a blacksmith, had a specialty for blades. She’d cut you down before you’d even realize she was in the room. The military saw potential in her skill, so they recruited her. Only problem was, they’d stuck her on nurse duty instead of the battlefield.”
“That must’ve been a disaster.”
“Not really. She wasn’t the comforting type, but she was good at fixing up soldiers.”
“Was she content with being a nurse, then?”
“Hell no.” WPNZ laughed. “It was fine at first, but once more wounded started piling in, she saw just how incompetent the generals barking out orders on the frontlines were, and had enough. She was this close to going rogue when they transferred her.”
Puzzles nodded along. “They must have been desperate for more soldiers.”
“Actually, they had her operating from inside the city as an officer to help with the crackdown on the mafia.”
“Sorry, the crackdown on mafia?” Puzzles repeated. “WPNZ, you seem to be insinuating that your mother was-”
“Yeah.” WPNZ liked to think that there were always two sides to the story when it came to war, but his mother had definitely backed the wrong horse in this instance.
“Does that also mean-?”
“That she’d been assigned to take out Dad?” WPNZ finished for him. “Hadn’t taken her very long to find the bastard, since he kept gloating about how great his weapons were. At first it seemed like Dad had her beat, but she managed to overpower him. She had him pinned, had him right where she wanted him, when- bam! It was love at first fight- uh, sight.”
“A forbidden romance?” Puzzles chirped, his screen displaying the image of a pink heart. “What a classic!”
“Yeah, yeah, it was a mushy meet cute.” WPNZ said with a dismissive wave his hand.
“After that, Ma quit working for the military, and she and Dad fled the country together. They needed money to start a new life, so Ma would make weapons for him to sell off. Couple years later, I came into the picture.”
“Dad kept up his mob career even after the war had ended, and Ma didn’t like that, she told him he needed to be there for his son.”
“Did they love each other?” Puzzles hadn’t meant to say that out loud, and it had caught WPNZ off guard.
“I like to think that they did, otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now. Actually, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for…”
Puzzles picked up on WPNZ’s cryptic phrasing “I take it you’re estranged from them?”
WPNZ did not elaborate, he just hunched forward and stared out the window.
“They’d wanted to raise me into a killer just like them, but were always arguing about how I should be trained. Ma was fierce and cutthroat, but she knew when to pull back the sword and reach out a hand instead. If I slipped up, she’d tell me what I did wrong, then show me the proper way to do it.”
“Dad, on the other hand,” He paused to take another puff from his cigarette. “Believed that there was no room for mistakes, that one wrong move meant lights out. He told me that the world was just as cold and ruthless as he was, and that if I didn’t shape up right away, I’d be done for.”
That was one of the few lessons WPNZ had carried into his adulthood, and in the end it had caused his downfall.
“He thought Ma was making me soft, that I’d never “upgrade into a man” if I kept following her lead. So, he started taking me to his crew’s hideout, and showed me all the ways of being a true killer in every messy detail.”
Puzzles noted that WPNZ was taking more frequent hits from his cigarette, and that he had a glazed look in his eye. He could tell that he was starting to recall the more unsavory chapters of his life, and the sudden shift in his demeanor was making him concerned.
“WPNZ, if you want to stop-”
But, WPNZ couldn’t stop, not after he’d finally been given the chance to unload this weighing burden that’s been haunting him for years. The solid wall he’d spent so long building up had collapsed in one swift blow, and all those memories, both good and bad, were spilling forth at an unrelenting pace.
“No matter how much he put me through, I could never bring myself to take a life, until…”
“WPNZ?” Puzzles reached out to touch his shoulder, but retracted his hand when he kept going.
“I had come home late one night, and Ma saw that I’d been beaten to a pulp. And the damage was real bad, I’m talking exposed power core and everything. I wouldn’t have lasted much longer if she hadn’t patched me up right away.”
“Who did you…get into an altercation with?” Puzzles dreaded the answer.
To WPNZ, it almost felt like his mother was asking him that very same question all over again from that fateful night.
“I’d kept my mouth shut, but she’d seen right through me. The second she pieced together that Dad had done it, she…”
He trailed off again. It had been ages since he’d thought about that moment. Somehow, he’d managed to lose two families in his lifetime, though the second was of his own doing.
“What happened next is a little blurry, since I was injured and all, but I remember I was lying down, when I heard yelling from the other room. Dad had come home, I’m not sure if he followed me, or… The yelling turned into a bunch of crashing, and it kept ramping up until there’s this really loud bang, then everything went quiet.”
Puzzles felt his cables twist into a nauseating knot, realizing how this tale would end.
“I’d managed to get up, and looked around to see what was going on.” WPNZ’s tone became grave. “When I made it to the kitchen…there was oil everywhere.”
Images of granite countertops, patterned floor tiles, and white paint all spattered black flashed across WPNZ’s mind. He didn’t even realize that he was bouncing his leg, and to try and stop it, he finished off his cigarette, hoping it would soothe him.
“The whole place was covered in it, and Dad was too. He was standing over something, and even though I couldn’t see her from behind the counter, I knew Ma was there. Dad turned his head towards me- just, casually turned his head, and gave me this empty look.”
No remorse, no joy, no rage, just nothing.
Puzzles couldn’t think of anything to say that would satisfyingly console his partner. How had WPNZ kept all of this pent up inside of him, and never found a soul he trusted enough to tell it to?
He slowly took WPNZ’s hand in his, fabric brushing against steel. He offered him a pitying expression, and WPNZ reacted by lightly squeezing his hand in silent gratitude.
“I was so pissed, that I’d completely forgotten I was still banged up, all I could think about was mauling my dad. We tussled for a bit- tore apart the whole house in the process- when, and I still don’t know how I’d done it, I landed a fatal hit on him.”
“And as he’s lying there, soaking in a black puddle, he looks up at me, and you know what he says with his dying breath?” He locked eyes with Puzzles as if he expected him to already know the answer.
“I-”
“He says he’s proud of me. He congratulated me on my first kill. Then, lights out.”
Once Puzzles was certain that WPNZ was finished, he spoke with a rarely heard tenderness.
“…You have my deepest condolences.”
“That’s not even the worst part!”
Puzzles flinched as WPNZ suddenly slammed his fist against the dashboard.
“At that moment, I understood why he’d done it. He was mad, sure, but he killed because he wanted to, because it felt good.” He let out a slow, bitter chuckle that bordered on madness. “And it had felt good when I ended his lousy life.”
His grin widened, the poorly concealed pain in his eyes giving away that it was fake. Normally, Puzzles liked it when WPNZ talked passionately about killing, but something about this was different, it was tragic.
“He murdered her, and I can’t even blame him for it, because- fuck-” He started breathing heavily. “It feels…so good.”
With great pleasure- sorrow- he wasn’t even sure anymore, WPNZ thought back on all the times he had taken a life, starting with when he’d watched the light leave his father’s eyes. It had ignited something in him, gave him a sick rush of adrenaline that he yearned to feel again, and-
“WPNZ!”
WPNZ blinked, and trailed his gaze downward. He saw that he had Puzzles' hand in an unbearably tight grip, so much so that his own hand was shaking from the amount of force he was using.
“Oh,” Coming back to his senses, he let go. “Whoops.”
Puzzles briefly examined his sore hand before placing it back in his lap. “Did you bury them?”
WPNZ shook his head, speaking much more calmly this time.
“If there was a funeral, I didn’t hear about it. My dad’s crew took me in for whatever reason, something about how it was an accomplishment to “take down the giant”.”
“How’d that pan out?”
“I left about a month in,” WPNZ answered. “I’d decided that if I was going to make a name for myself, then it wouldn’t be from piggybacking off of some crummy ties to the mafia. Dad’s crew wasn’t too receptive to that, so I ended up having to mow ‘em all down. After that, I hopped on a bike I’d fixed up, and never looked back.”
“I’m sorry,” Puzzles sounded more confused than sad. “I think?”
“Eh, they weren’t that great anyway.” WPNZ glanced up at the ceiling. “They wouldn't use my actual name, just kept calling me “Sal’s boy”, and never mentioned Ma, like she didn’t exist.”
A frightening question took shape in Puzzles’s mind.
“WPNZ?”
“Hm?”
Puzzles’ eyes shifted to the side, and he reconsidered what he was about to ask.
“If…If things had gone differently, would you have imparted the same lesson onto your family, to “make an example” out of them?”
WPNZ wanted to say no, of course. It was the correct, and only answer. And yet, a flicker of uncertainty gave him pause. He had gone to extremes in trying to teach the kids how to become toughened warriors, and that hadn’t gone well. How could he be so sure that he wouldn’t have taken things too far, had he been pushed over the edge?
Despite trying his hardest not to, he couldn’t help but imagine it. He saw crackling fire, and white fur stained an enticing crimson. He pictured himself standing over Karen in disgust, while three terrified kittens watched helplessly- a distorted reflection of the past, as well as an eerie glimpse into a future that never came to be.
“This is what happens when you show mercy to your enemy!” He pointed at his slain ex-wife while facing the kids. “This is what happens when you’re weak!”
Had things gone differently, WPNZ very likely would have ended up passing the torch of familial vengeance onto the next generation, adding another link in the chain.
“WPNZ-”
“Don’t ask me shit like that.”
Puzzles turned his head, and looked out the window. Since beginning their conversation, there had been no activity from inside the target’s apartment.
“I don’t think anyone’s showing up.” He remarked.
“Yeah,” WPNZ breathed, wanting to change the subject. “This might be a bust. Guess I was given some shitty intel.” He was going to have a “little chat” with the client who insisted the target would be home tonight.
“Sorry for putting you through all that, by the way.” He added. “I was s’posed to show you what it was like to be an assassin, and I uh, guess I did that, in the worst way possible.”
“It’s…okay, WPNZ.” Puzzles said. “I’ll admit, I was worried, but you seem better now.”
“Besides,” He inserted the keys into the ignition and started up the van. “You’ve listened to me ramble plenty of times, the least I could do was give you the same courtesy.”
“You wanna try and give this another go tomorrow?” WPNZ asked as they pulled away from the curb.
“Yes, let’s.” Puzzles kept his eyes on the road. “And how about we let you take the lead this time around, hm? I’m sure we’ll have better luck with the expert in charge.”
“Are you actually giving up control instead of taking it, Boxhead?” WPNZ joked.
“For now.” Puzzles quipped back. “We’ll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings us.”
As the van approached a stoplight, Puzzles pressed his foot on the brake. WPNZ would often gripe about how traffic laws were just “guidelines”, and while he had a point, Puzzles had a reason for stopping.
“Thank you, for opening up to me.” He murmured. “I can’t imagine how long you must’ve been wanting to talk about that.”
“Gotta say, that felt…cathartic? Whatever the word is for it.” WPNZ smiled at his partner. “And hey, maybe you weren’t an accident.”
“While I appreciate the thought, I’m afraid that’s-”
“I meant more like, in a “cosmic” way,” WPNZ clarified. “Maybe it was destiny, or something. Not every star has to be born on purpose.”
“That’s a very lovely way of looking at it.” Puzzles agreed. “And although your father raised you purely opportunistically, you didn’t need his involvement to make something of yourself.”
WPNZ nodded contently with a small grunt.
“Hey, when we inevitably end up in hell, you wanna beat the tar out of our dads together?”
“How do you know this isn’t hell?” Puzzles asked him humorously.
“Nah,” WPNZ shook his head. “That void we were floating around in was hell. Scratch that, being stuck anywhere with you is my own personal hell.”
“Why, WPNZ, you truly are the pinnacle of romance.” Puzzles let out a very exaggerated, “lovestruck” sigh. “It’s no wonder you got Karen to fall for you.”
WPNZ snorted. “You fell for me too, so I must be doing something right.”
“Would you really go down to hell just to fight your father?”
“I’m not so sure he’d be worth it, honestly.” He admitted.
“Well, if you do,” Puzzles leaned in until his face was ridiculously close to WPNZ’s, and grinned smugly. “Then I hope you realize that the journey includes traversing through nine different rings.”
At first, WPNZ wasn’t sure what he was referring to. When it clicked, he sunk into his seat with a resigned sigh.
“When’d you figure it out?”
“Just now,” Puzzles hummed self-gratifyingly as he pulled his head back. “All this talk about hell reminded me of The Divine Comedy.”
WPNZ just looked back tiredly at his partner.
“Dante’s an exceptional name, you know.” Puzzles complimented.
“…Thanks.” WPNZ smirked. “It definitely beats “Wally” any day of the week.”
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”
“Nope.”