Chapter Text
Peter was still groggy from last night’s New Year’s Eve party at the Tower. Well, really, he was groggy from several days in a row of intergalactic travel via Bifrost, his own near-execution, and being at least partly responsible for a riot on Asgard, but a night of eating way too much while watching Rankin-Bass stop motion animation followed by Captain America and the Winter Soldier getting engaged hadn’t exactly been uneventful either.
“You look tired,” Happy said, peering at him in the rearview mirror.
“Kind of am,” Peter said. “I hope nothing huge happens today.”
Happy shook his head at Peter for tempting fate, but said nothing, continuing to drive him from May’s apartment in Queens back to the Tower. Peter had gotten a text from Pepper around three in the afternoon that just said he could come by to pick up his duffle bag. That was pretty odd in itself since he’d left it on Asgard, and Thor, Loki, and Sif were supposed to be on Vanaheim for a while. Maybe Heimdall had sent it by Bifrost? That didn’t seem likely, but what else could it be?
“Have you seen Mr. Stark yet today?” Peter asked.
“Nah, haven’t seen him since last year,” Happy said, chuckling at his own joke.
Peter smiled weakly but decided against asking any other questions. When they arrived at the Tower, he thanked Happy and took the private express elevator up to the penthouse. He looked around but didn’t see anyone.
“Excuse me, Mr. JARVIS, sir?” Peter asked.
“Yes, Peter,” the automated voice responded at once.
“Could you tell me where Pepper is, please?”
There was a brief pause, then JARVIS said, “I believe she is on the fortieth floor. I will announce your arrival. Feel free to wait in the living room or have a snack in the interim. There may be . . . a slight delay.”
Peter frowned, thinking that pause sounded a little ominous, but went into the living room. He noticed the debris from last night’s party was still all over the floor, so he grabbed a garbage bag out of the kitchen and started tossing in crumpled up napkins. Pepper arrived while he was sweeping up confetti with a broom he’d found inside the pantry closet.
“Peter,” she said, giving him a tired smile. “You don’t need to do that.”
“That’s okay,” Peter said. “We kind of left a mess all over the place, huh?”
“Just a little,” she said. “I’m still trying to figure out who left half a turkey leg on the ceiling fan.”
“Not me,” Peter said, diplomatically choosing not to mention that last night Thor had gotten Clint into a bet about whether or not he could hit a drumstick if he tossed it in the air. It wasn’t just circling around on the fan; it was impaled onto it with an arrow. Thor now owed him a pizza.
“Anyway, let me grab your bag for you,” Pepper said, opening a cupboard and taking it out.
“Thank you,” Peter said, “but how did you get it back?”
Pepper looked a little uncertain, then admitted, “Frigga is here.”
“Oh, geez,” Peter said, surprised. “Wow. Is she okay? She’s not hurt or anything, is she?”
“She’s got a bit of a headache, but aside from that, she seems physically okay,” Pepper said.
Peter immediately read between the lines and realized something else was wrong, and he couldn’t blame her. She’d just found out her husband had been altering her memories for a very long time.
“Would it be okay if I talked to her?” Peter asked.
“I think so, but do you happen to know a way to contact Thor and Loki? Even Nick doesn’t have a surefire way to reach them.”
“Uh… I can try,” Peter said uncertainly. “I don’t know if it will work, though. Just a sec.”
Peter walked out onto the helipad and looked up. He’d only done this once before, and he wasn’t entirely sure whether Thor and Loki had been helping him, but it was worth a try. Still, he had to be careful that he didn’t say or do anything that might get back to Odin, especially about where Frigga was.
“Excuse me? Mr. Heimdall, sir? It’s, uh, P-peter P-parker again. I’m not asking to go to Asgard or anything, but do you think you could get a note to Mr. Thor and Mr. Loki that, uh, we kind of need them, if you could, please, if it isn’t any trouble?” he stammered, then added, “and if it won’t get us all killed, okay?”
Peter stood there, staring at the sky for several seconds. Absolutely nothing happened.
“Yup, okay, I look completely crazy right now,” he said, turning pink. “I’m just . . . gonna . . . go . . . eat some leftover brownies or something. Uh, goodbye?”
Peter had just turned around and was heading inside when he caught a split-second glimpse of a rainbow in the sky that immediately vanished.
“Oh,” Peter said, blinking a few times, “okay, um, yeah, great, uh, thanks again.”
He jogged back into the house, congratulating himself for successfully contacting a distant galaxy, then tripped over his own bag.
Picking himself up off the floor, he said, “I think they’ll come pretty soon,” to Pepper, who was standing in the kitchen.
“Are you okay?” Pepper asked.
“Yeah, no problem,” Peter said, dusting himself off. “Spider sense is a little off right now. I think it’s from the whole traveling via Einstein Rosen Bridge thing. It made me a little woozy. Also, I’m weirdly craving funnel cakes. Anyway, thanks for looking after my bag. Where’s Frigga?”
“Fortieth floor, suite C,” she said.
“Got it,” Peter said, throwing his bag over his shoulder. “Thanks again.”
Peter got in the elevator, pushed the right floor, and waited for the doors to close. However, the elevator stopped at the forty-eighth floor. The doors opened, revealing Bruce and Natasha.
“Hey,” Peter said.
“Hey,” Bruce said, smiling at him. “What are you still doing here?”
“Oh, no, I left then came back again,” Peter explained.
“Wait, what time is it?” Bruce asked.
“Huh,” Natasha said, looking at her watch, “it’s almost three o’clock.”
“In the afternoon?” Bruce said, sounding surprised. “Wow, we stayed up talking a lot longer than I thought.”
Peter hid a smile, but he was happy to see that the pair of them were obviously happy together. He’d hoped last night’s midnight kiss wasn’t a fluke, and it looked like he was right.
“What floor are you going to?” Peter asked.
“Ground. I thought we’d get breakfast, but it turns out it’s either a late lunch or an early dinner,” Bruce said, grinning sheepishly.
He hit the button, the door closed, and they continued down, but only for a few seconds. On the forty-fifth floor, the doors opened again, and there stood Tony.
“Hey kid, Brucie, Commie,” he said, yawning. “What’re you doing in my house again?”
“Getting my bag and visiting Frigga,” Peter said.
“Frigga’s here?” Natasha said, her eyebrows rising. “When did that happen?”
“A few hours ago,” Tony said. “It looks like we’re about to be thrown into the middle of an intergalactic domestic quarrel. Brucie, press 5, will you?”
“I think it’s a little more than that,” Peter said, but before anyone could respond, the elevator stopped again, this time on the forty-third floor.
“Hi ya, groom and other groom,” Tony said, grinning at Steve and Bucky.
They gave nearly identical smiles, and everyone budged together a little more to let them on.
“We’ve nearly got the whole gang back together again,” Bucky said.
“Yeah, and in a really tiny enclosed space,” Bruce said. “Whee. Fun.”
“We’re just missing the wonder brothers, my better half, and Legolas,” Tony said. “What floor, gentlemen?”
“Ground,” they said together.
“Great, already pushed, we are good to go,” Tony said, and the doors closed.
It was at floor forty-one that the elevator stopped again. However, this time, no one joined them. In fact, the doors didn’t open at all.
“Are we stuck?” Natasha said, looking at Tony.
“Of course not we’re not stuck. I designed this thing myself,” he said. “Hey, JARVIS, what’s up with the elevator?”
“You appear to be stuck, sir,” said the mechanical voice.
Natasha bit her lip to keep from chuckling.
“Not one word, Russian Barbie,” Tony said. “What specifically is wrong, JARVIS?”
“There seems to be a short in one of the electrical systems,” he answered.
“Which one?”
“Data coil cluster 23-AN987,” he said.
Tony paused for a moment, obviously running through a scenario in his head, then said, “Did someone use the out of order microwave on the third floor again? The one that has the very big sign in it that says ‘DO NOT USE’?”
Peter wasn’t sure how Tony managed it, but he could picture the gigantic, threatening font very clearly.
“Very astute, sir.”
“Damn it!” Tony muttered.
“Wait, what does a microwave on the third floor have to do with the elevator breaking down?” Steve asked.
“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Tony said, slapping his shoulder. “JARVIS, is anyone else stuck?”
“No, sir. The number of employees is minimal today.”
“Good. Shut down the other two northside elevators just in case, then get us out of here,” Tony said.
“That may prove a bit problematic,” JARVIS said.
“Why?” Bruce asked, looking a little panicked.
“Because the repair needs to be made from the outside of the elevator,” JARVIS said, “specifically, the top of the car.”
“Okay, but can’t one of us just pull open the doors and we can hop out?” Bruce said.
“Negative,” Tony said. “It’s a security feature. In case we’re attacked, the elevators can be shut down to prevent anyone in them from getting out. If someone tries to force it from the inside, it triggers knock-out gas. We’d be out cold for about a day.”
“Great,” Bruce said. “So we’re stuck in here, almost no one else is in the building, and the only way to fix this is to get on top of the elevator?”
“So can we open the ceiling?” Peter said. “I can crawl up there, no problem. Just tell me what to do.”
“Again with the knock out gas,” Tony said. “It needs to be repaired from the outside.”
“Okay, so call Pepper?” Steve suggested.
“JARVIS, is Pepper still in the building?” Tony asked.
“Yes, but she is currently asleep,” JARVIS said.
“I mean, I hate to wake her up, but—” Bruce said, looking a little shaky.
“Not a fan of small spaces?” Bucky asked him.
“It’s not really claustrophobia,” he explained. “I’ve just been in one too many holding cells as the other guy, and he’s getting a little antsy.”
“JARVIS, wake up Pepper,” Tony said, a tinge of panic in his voice as he glanced at Peter and then back at Bruce. “This isn’t an ideal place for a code green.”
“Yes, sir,” JARVIS said. “I shall apprise her of the situation.”
There was a brief pause where everyone stood around in the elevator, looking awkward and not knowing where to direct their gaze.
“So,” Peter said, sounding just a little too casual, “anyone make any New Year’s resolutions?”
“Relax more,” Tony said. “This whole situation isn’t helping too much right now. What about you, Uncle Sam?”
“I want to watch every movie that won the Oscar for best picture since I got knocked out,” Steve said.
“That’s actually not bad,” Tony said. “I was expecting you to try to be more virtuous and patriotic.”
The last part was said with an eyeroll.
“I want to try golfing,” Bruce said. “It seems low stress, calm, peaceful.”
“Negative, Green Machine,” Tony said. “I’m convinced the course is so pretty because otherwise the country clubs would have to call out ambulances every day from the number of golfers having complete mental meltdowns over not making a putt. Try mini golf. Much less stressful.”
Bruce shrugged, but looked like he was reconsidering.
“Buck Buck Chicken, what’s yours?” Tony asked.
“Buck Buck Chicken?” Bucky said, giving him a look of disbelief.
“There is a minor present, and I can’t think of anything PG rated to call you that rhymes with your name while I’m under this much stress. So sue me,” Tony said.
“I already filled mine,” Bucky said, giving Steve’s hand with the engagement ring on it a squeeze.
“Too easy,” Tony said. “You’re required to do another one. If it’s done by January 1, it doesn’t count.”
“Says who?” Steve said.
“The Constitution of the United States of America,” Tony said. “Right after no quartering soldiers in civilian homes.”
“That is not in the—”
“Natasha, what’s yours?” Tony asked, interrupting Steve.
“Oh,” she said, looking flustered. “I’m going to work on trusting people more. Some people. Very small group.”
Bruce gave her a soft smile and suddenly seemed a lot less nervous.
Tony cleared his throat uncomfortably then said, “You’re the one who got this started, Underoos. What’s yours?”
“I want to try to get eight hours of sleep at least once,” Peter said.
“A week? That’s really not enough for a kid your age,” Steve said, his face puckering in concern.
“I meant this year,” Peter said apologetically. “I know, I know. It’s bad.”
“Okay, I know you’re out late trying to save the world or New York or at least Queens, but you do need to sleep a little. I can get you some more time off it’ll—”
“No, it’s not that, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, not able to look him in the eye. “I have nightmares sometimes.”
“About what we do?” Bucky asked quietly.
“No. Well, sometimes,” Peter admitted. “More often it’s about the car accident that, you know…”
His voice drifted off.
“Killed your parents,” Tony finished, stepping forward and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Wish I could say you’ll outgrow it, but I never did. Still have ‘em. Granted my way of handling it, which includes drinking a deplorable amount of scotch, is not something I ever want you trying, but there’s other things you can do.”
“I clean,” Natasha said, looking in Peter’s eyes. “When I have nightmares, I get up and clean my apartment, even if it’s already clean. I feel better if I put things in order.”
“Ice cream is my coping mechanism,” Bruce said with a wry smile. “I always have a quart of mint chocolate chip in the freezer. Not the healthiest thing in the world, but it’s better than insomnia.”
“Moving around works sometimes,” Bucky said. “If I’m here, sometimes I go to the gym and run on the treadmill. If I’m somewhere else, I do sit-ups and pushups. A few hundred of each usually tires me out enough to let me sleep a little.”
“For me, it’s music,” Steve said, looking at a vacant corner of the elevator. “It blots it out for a while.”
“What, ‘Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy’?” Tony asked.
“No,” Steve said. “Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of punk from the 70s. Natasha turned me on to it.”
Tony blinked slowly.
“I am having a mental image of you gazing forlornly out at the New York skyline while the Sex Pistols blare in the background,” Tony said.
“Fairly accurate,” Steve said.
“Can confirm,” Bucky added.
“And now I need another scotch,” Tony said, shaking his head. “JARVIS? Any word from Pep? We’d like to get out of here before next New Year’s Day. Or before one of us has to pee.”
“Miss Potts is currently working on a plan to remove you from your predicament. May I take this moment to remind you that I had previously informed you this protocol had serious issues?” JARVIS said with a hint of accusation in his voice.
“Yeah, yeah, I was going to fix it but got interrupted by another alien invasion,” Tony said. “Is there an estimated time for freeing us?”
“She has had to pause her efforts to deal with visitors,” JARVIS said.
“Is it Thor or Loki or both?” Peter asked.
“Both, along with Lady Sif, I believe,” JARVIS said.
“Oh great,” Tony said. “We’ll be here a while longer. That’s going to be a long conversation.”
“Why? What exactly happened with Frigga?” Natasha asked.
“She ditched Odin and showed up here looking for a place to lay low for a while.”
“She’s here now?” Bruce asked.
“Yeah, on the fortieth floor,” Peter said. “That’s where I was heading before you guys showed up and we got stuck. I wanted to see if she was okay.”
“Wait, wait, back up a second,” Bucky said. “A queen from another realm is hiding from her jackass husband here?”
“For now, yeah,” Tony said. “Apparently divorce is illegal on Asgard, so I don’t know what her next move is.”
“Well… good,” Steve said. “I’m glad she’s here. I’ve never even met that guy and I don’t like him.”
“I have,” Peter piped in, “and I don’t like him either.”
“Yeah, I’m not getting a good feeling off him either,” Natasha said. “Peter, do you know what made her decide to leave?”
“Uh, maybe she should tell you,” Peter said uncertainly. “It’s not really for me to say. But Odin did something bad. Really bad.”
Bucky frowned and looked at Steve, who shrugged slightly.
“Peter,” Tony said just a shade too smoothly, “can you tell us what you did while you were on Asgard? We’ve got a lot of time to spare anyway and I’m curious.”
“Oh, sure,” Peter said, brightening. “It’s a really nice place, and we had a campout and ate enough food so that I won’t be hungry for a month and went horseback riding and I slept in a really fancy room in the palace.”
“Uh-huh, that’s nice,” Tony said. “Anything else?”
“Well, Odin kind of tried to frame me for theft and treason,” Peter said. “Also, there was this whole thing where they thought I poisoned Pop Tart.”
“They have Pop Tarts on Asgard?” Bruce asked.
“No, that’s the name of Thor’s horse,” Peter explained.
“Okay, I am definitely mentioning that the next time I see him, but that aside, is that why you had to high-tail it out of there?” Tony asked.
“Mostly,” Peter said, “that and Loki did a spell on Frigga that made her realize Odin has been wiping her memory for centuries every time he did something she didn’t like.”
Dead silence filled the elevator, and Peter’s eyes became huge.
“I shouldn’t have said that!” he said, looking horrified.
“Yeah, we’ll deal with your complete inability to keep a secret later, kid,” Tony said, looking ill. “That’s not really top priority right now.”
“He played with her brain?” Natasha said in a quiet voice that made the hair on the back of everyone’s necks stand up.
She and Bucky exchanged a look of rage that the others couldn’t even begin to process. The fingers on Bucky’s metal arm twitched instinctively. Peter’s eyes went back and forth around the whole elevator, taking in Steve’s expression of horror, Bruce being near tears, Tony’s stone-faced anger, and Natasha and Bucky’s shared fury.
At that exact moment, they heard loud yelling coming from outside the elevator. The words weren’t distinguishable at first, but it almost sounded like a herd of stampeding elephants. Everyone looked up with matching expressions of confusion until they could finally make out what was being said.
“WHERE IS MY NOBLE MOTHER!”
“Thor,” all of them said at once.
A moment later, the elevator jerked as though a very heavy weight had landed on the roof.
“That you up there, Big Mac Attack?” Tony called.
“It is! I intend to rip the roof off this puny machine and—”
“No! We’ll all wind up unconscious if you do that,” Peter said quickly. “Is Loki there?”
“Yes.”
Peter had never wondered what Death sounded like before, but he was pretty sure it would use the exact tone Loki had just spoken in.
“Mr. Stark, I think Loki can probably fix this,” Peter said. “You didn’t put in any protections against magic, did you?”
“No, I don’t know enough about hocus pocus crap for that. Loki, there’s knock out gas rigged to blow unless someone puts in the code from the outside where you are right now. All you have to do is—”
“Done.”
A thick green cloud had filled the elevator, and for a moment, Peter thought Loki had triggered the booby trap. Instead, it cleared inside of a few seconds, and the ceiling hatch immediately opened, letting in Thor and Loki, who dropped to the floor easily, making the crowded elevator even more suffocating.
“Okay, now all we need to do is open the door and we’re—”
Loki drew his fingers together and apart, and the doors sprang open.
“Out.”
They weren’t quite level with the fortieth floor and had to clamber down. Most of them managed it with no problem, but Tony was a little awkward without the suit. Thor ended up grabbing his legs and yanking him from the elevator, then, realizing he had probably overdone it from Tony’s yelp, setting him gingerly on the floor.
“Pepper stated my mother is here. Where?” Thor asked, his voice grinding.
“Uh, has anyone else noticed Loki’s gone?” Bruce asked.
Tony, who of course knew the layout of the building better than any of the others, turned towards Suite C, which was at the end of the hallway, and noticed Loki’s silhouette standing outside the door, not moving.
“He’s got it,” Tony said, and Thor immediately turned in the direction he was looking and bounded off at a speed so fast he was almost a blur. Peter also noticed he had Mjolnir ready in his hand.
“So… do we go too, or?” Bruce said.
“That’s where I was headed anyway,” Peter said, putting his bag back on his shoulder and following behind Thor. The others glanced at one another and walked just behind him.
“—if I may?” they heard Loki’s voice say.
“Oh! Of course, my darling,” Frigga responded, and he opened the door.
Thor followed, then Peter, who looked unsure but determined. Natasha was directly on his heels.
“Are you well, Mother?” Thor asked.
“Both of you!” she said, then looked around. “Or rather, all of you.”
“Uh, we can leave if you want, it just seemed—”
“I would prefer an answer to my brother’s question first,” Loki said, his voice still sounding like a drawn knife, though Peter couldn’t explain how that was possible. “Are you well?”
“I am fine.”
“He did not harm you in any way?” Loki said, looking at her sharply.
“He tried to,” she admitted. “I found him preparing to wipe my memory yet again, I assume so I would forget what happened during Peter’s visit, but I had already prepared myself for that possibility, and the enchantment he tried to use was repulsed.”
Loki smiled grimly.
“I should have known you would be more than adequately prepared. In truth, it did not occur to me that he would try that route again, though I suppose I should have realized it was likely.”
Frigga gave a bittersweet smile.
“I was able to pretend to be under his thrall once more, but once he was gone, I fled. I knew the Bifrost would be watched, so I traveled through the mirror realm. I really don’t wish to impose on Anthony and Virginia, but I truly could think of nowhere else. I strongly doubt your father will come here for a quite a while since he believes this realm to be so backward that it would never occur to him,” she explained.
“He is not my father and never was,” Loki corrected her immediately.
“Is there anything of which you have need?” Thor asked.
“No, I was able to pack a bag of necessities before I left,” she said, gesturing towards the same small bag she had been carrying when she arrived. “I simply wished for my sons, and here you are. How did you know?”
“Peter was able to get us a message through Heimdall without arousing suspicion,” Thor said, smiling at him proudly.
At that moment, Lady Sif burst through the door.
“What took you so long?” Loki said.
“The elevator was broken, so we took the stairs,” Sif said, giving him a look that said any rational person would have done the same. “Lady Pepper is not far behind me. For a mortal. In what way may I serve my queen?”
“Nothing, dear heart,” Frigga said, smiling at her. “I need only some time to think, and perhaps some patience, though my hosts have been nothing but cordial and extraordinarily kind.”
“I swear to you, Stark, I will not forget you have done this and hold your forever in high honor,” Thor said.
“Not that big a deal. It’s an empty suite and was just sitting here, and I already don’t like this Odin guy. Like we said, Frigga, you’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” Tony said.
Loki looked around the room, which was nicer than most five-star hotel suites, and sniffed dismissively.
“It will do for now,” he said.
“Um, Frigga?” Peter said, taking a step closer.
“Yes, dear?”
“I just want to say I’m sorry,” he said. “If I hadn’t come to Asgard, you never would have had to leave, so it’s kind of my fault.”
Frigga shook her head before saying, “You are not quite right. If you had not come, I would not have found out about the outrage my husband had repeatedly performed against me. I am thankful to you for that, not angry. Have no regrets. You have done me a great service, though admittedly a painful one.”
Frigga’s smile slipped a bit, and she swallowed as though fighting down the urge to cry.
“Uh,” Peter said, “is it okay if I give you a hug?”
Frigga laughed lightly, then opened her arms, allowing him to step forward and embrace her tightly. A few moments later, he felt another set of arms around them both, and then another as both Loki and Thor held them tightly.
“You aren’t alone, Frigga,” Natasha said after a few seconds. “We’ve all got your back.”
“And if you need a good divorce attorney, I know this one guy named Murdoch who’s good, even if he’s a little strange,” Tony said.
“Matt Murdoch?” Bruce said, looking up. “Yeah, he’s actually really good, but I’m not sure he’s ever handled an intergalactic royal divorce case.”
“Thank you, but as I mentioned when I arrived, divorce does not exist on Asgard,” she said.
“Yet. Believe me, this guy can find a loophole,” Tony said.
At that moment Pepper practically collapsed through the door, followed by Clint.
“That is a lot of stairs,” she muttered, pushing her sweaty hair back from her forehead. “Okay, so what happened?”
“Just lots of people basically swearing undying loyalty to the queen of Asgard, which may or may not be a breach of U.S. citizenship, now that I think about it,” Tony said. “William Tell, what are you doing here?”
“I never left,” he said. “I was just crawling around in the air vents a few stories down and came out to see what was going on.”
Peter wrinkled his forehead in confusion and asked, “Why?”
“Because it sounded like there was a big problem.”
“No, I mean why were you climbing around in the ductwork?” Peter asked.
“It’s just a thing he does,” Natasha said, shrugging. “I don’t get it either.”
“It keeps me limber,” Clint said dismissively. “Anyway, Pepper caught me up to speed. So, Frigga, you want me to shoot this guy Odin in his remaining eye for you?”
“He totally can,” Natasha said, nodding, “and I can provide ironclad alibies for anyone else who wants to help him out.”
Frigga shook her head and said, “Thank you for the very thoughtful offer, but I think I will refrain for now. Instead, it has grown near dinner. Is anyone else hungry?”
“We didn’t really have anything planned, but I can try to order up something vaguely appropriate?” Tony said, looking panicked. “There’s got to be a place around here that delivers pheasant or capons or grog something.”
“Perhaps just some of those delicious pizzas my sons have told me about,” Frigga said. “I am rather curious about them.”
“Now that is no problem,” Tony said, grinning and pulling out his cell phone and jabbing at it with his finger a few times. “Done. They’ll be here in thirty minute or it’s free. JARVIS, set a timer.”
“Yes, sir.”
“This has been way more eventful than most New Year’s Days I’ve had,” Bruce said. “Usually, I just sleep in and try to figure out what I did the previous night.”
“Speaking of New Year’s,” Tony said, turning towards Bucky, “I still say Buckaroo over here needs a new resolution since he got his first one done so fast.”
“Fine, I’ll just take that one to the next level,” he said, looking over at Steve. “I want to get married before the end of the year.”
Steve smiled and nodded.
“Have I missed an engagement?” Frigga said, looking delighted.
“Just last night, ma’am,” Steve said, with Tony immediately exaggeratedly miming the word “ma’am” behind his back and rolling his eyes. “Tony, you realize I can hear you, right?”
“You can hear eyerolling?” Tony said, scrunching his face. “Damn. Just how strong was that serum Pop gave you?”
“Strong enough,” Steve said, then turned to Bucky. “How about a Christmas wedding?”
Bucky grinned and squeezed his hand before saying, “Perfect.”
“Yay,” Tony said in a deadpan voice. “Joy. Whoopee. Yahoo. Party on, Wayne. Anyway, the pizza should be here fairly soon because I left them a gargantuan tip, so let’s head back up to the living room and—”
“No!” Pepper broke in, clutching her side. “The elevator is still out and I am not climbing all those stairs again. I’ve already done my limit for the year.”
“I could swing you back up if you want,” Peter said with a shrug.
“I don’t know if my stomach could take that,” she said.
“I shall carry you if you wish, Lady Pepper,” Thor said. “It would be—”
At that moment everyone looked around and realized they were back in the living room of the penthouse.
“How—” Clint asked, then focused on Loki, who shook his head.
“That was my doing,” Frigga explained. “I thought it would be the least trouble.”
“Great, now we’ve got two of them,” Tony said. “Fantastic. Hey, by the way, how’s Pop Tart, Thor?”
“He is well,” he said, looking slightly surprised and confused. “Why?”
“Nothing. Just picturing you riding off into the sunset on a gallant horse named Pop Tart is really giving me life right now,” Tony said, giggling.
“Uh, not to be a downer, but with the elevator broken, how are we getting the pizzas up here?” Peter asked.
“Simple,” Tony said, pointing to the helipad just as a helicopter landed and two frankly bewildered girls in blindingly orange fast-food uniforms hopped out, each carrying a stack of pizza boxes. “I’m rich.”
As the Avengers opened the boxes and stretched out on couches and chairs once again, the Avengers and their unexpected guests ate, punctuated by the occasional joke or side conversation. Pepper looked over at Tony, who was eating a slice of pepperoni, and shook her head fondly.
“We’re going to wind up planning their wedding this whole year, aren’t we,” she said with a wry grin.
“Probably,” Tony said, glancing over at Steve and Bucky.
“Nah,” Clint said, overhearing. “We’ll all chip in. Each of us can take turns coming up with a stupid bonding thing for us to do once a month and check something off the to-do list at the same time.”
“Okay,” Tony said. “Sounds doable.”
“We don’t need a bunch of fuss,” Steve jumped in quickly.
“Would I do that?” Tony asked innocently, a wicked grin stealing over his face that made Loki chuckle approvingly.
“This may turn out to be mildly amusing,” he said, folding an entire extra large mushroom and bacon pizza in half and stuffing it in his mouth all at once.