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Audrey was positively glowing as she set the roast turkey in the centre of the table, earning a chorus of delighted “ooohs” and “aaahs” from the many people gathered around it. Helen followed with two large plates of roasted potatoes, carrots and sprouts, placing one beside Maggie’s meat-and-potato pie and the other by the Yorkshire puddings Tristan had all but begged Mrs Hall to make.
“But where’s me sausages!?” Jimmy asked, looking up at his auntie with his best puppy-dog face.
“Coming right up.” Siegfried announced as he emerged from the kitchen carrying a plate Audrey had prepared especially for their godson.
He set it on the table in front of the little boy. “There you go, Jimmy. Sausages and mash, made especially for you by your auntie. Just as you requested.”
The excitement on the boy’s face as he tucked in right away made the whole table chuckle.
“Thanks, Auntie Audrey,” he said with his mouth full, which both his parents deliberately decided to ignore on this special day. He remembered to say “thank you” at least.
“You are very welcome, birthday boy,” Audrey laughed as she sat down on the empty chair between Edward and Siegfried.
“Mrs Hall, my compliments, everything looks absolutely delicious,” Mrs Pumphrey declared.
She was sitting across from Siegfried with Tricki perched on her lap. The Pekinese was eyeing the food on the table with keen anticipation, knowing fully well his mistress would sneak him a few treats later on.
“I’ve not seen a spread like this since before t’war began,” Mrs Stokes said, looking genuinely overwhelmed by the many offerings.
“We couldn’t have made half of it without Mrs Pumphrey’s generous hamper,” Audrey explained and then turned to the posh lady. “Thank you ever so much again.”
“Oh, nonsense, dear,” Mrs Pumphrey waved it away with a flick of her wrist. “It was only a few bits and pieces. We couldn’t possibly manage it all on our own, could we, Tricki?” she added, turning lovingly to her dog.
“It smells entirely divine, Mrs H,” Charlotte had recently taken to the familiar form of address as well. She wasn’t usually one for abbreviations, but “Mrs Hall” seemed too formal, and she wouldn’t dream of calling her “Audrey” when Tristan didn’t. So “Mrs H” it was, and it suited them both just fine.
“I can’t believe you won us a turkey,” Tris laughed as he poured some of Mrs Pumphrey’s Port into his young lady’s glass.
“She swiped the Drovers clean,” Siegfried said beaming, the pride in his voice unmistakable. “The poor devils never stood a chance.”
"I will never forget the look on Geordie Pickersgill’s face when he realized he lost to a woman. Serves him well.” Maggie grinned, little Albert on her lap trying to reach one of the Yorkshire Puddings on the big plate in the middle of the table.
“Audrey’s a natural. Took me months to get the hang of it, but she were beatin’ the whole darts team within a week of startin’ practisin’.” Betty put in, to everyone’s surprise. She hadn’t said much all evening, nor the day before, when they’d arrived at Skeldale.
“You taught me well.” Audrey smiled and reached across Edward’s plate to squeeze her daughter-in-law’s hand. She knew Betty was somewhat shy amongst so many people she hardly knew, but she was slowly becoming less reserved, which meant she was starting to feel more at ease around all of them. It was a relief. After all, Audrey hoped Betty, Edward and Mary would visit them regularly from now on.
Once they started eating the room filled with an easy, cheerful murmur of conversation. There was laughter and occasional squeals from the children. It was not peaceful in the way the dictionary described it. It was noisy, chaotic and messy. But it was full of warmth, joy and love, just as Audrey had hoped it would be.
She let herself lean back for a moment, soaking it all in: She was home again and everyone she loved was here. At last, she had all her favourite people under the same roof. Her Skeldale family. And Edward. She had waited for this moment almost a decade, and the fact that their families had grown in the meantime made it all the more special.
The meal went on, everyone digging in with gusto. For once, they could enjoy a table full of food without thinking about rationing, something they owed to Mrs Pumphrey’s hamper, the turkey Audrey had won for them, and her gift of making the most out of the resources they had.
Once she had eaten, little Mary wanted to sit with her beloved nana and was passed from Betty to Edward and then finally to Audrey, where she made herself comfortable on her lap, one of her tiny hands fisting her grandma’s blouse to make sure she was not going anywhere.
Audrey held her close, breathing in the sweet, familiar scent of the toddler. Until she returned to Skeldale, the two of them had spent nearly every day together since Mary was born. Of course, they had felt the other’s absence once she left. They missed each other’s presence and the little cuddles that had become their routine.
“Someone’s very happy to be with her grandma again,” Siegfried murmured, only meant for Mary and Audrey to hear. He had leaned in a fraction closer, though there was hardly any space between anyone as it was.
They hadn’t expected quite so many people this evening, but the number of Christmas guests had simply kept growing until they had needed to get additional chairs from the rooms upstairs. Now they were all squeezed together. Not that anyone minded. After all, this was what Christmas was all about: community, family, by blood or otherwise.
“Oh, and I’m so ‘appy to have her here. Missed her terribly,” Audrey pressed a kiss on Mary’s brown curls. Her hair almost felt like silk, so very soft and smooth. “But we’ll visit each other as often as we can, won’t we, poppet?”
Mary let out an enthusiastic squeal, which they both interpreted as agreement. They chuckled.
The little girl then looked up at Siegfried and something she saw seemed to have sparked her interest. She reached out toward him with one of her arms, stretching across Audrey’s lap with great determination.
“Looks like she wants to say hello to you,” Audrey said.
"Well then, come on, young lady,” with a smile, Siegfried offered the girl his hands. She immediately leaned into them, letting him lift her onto his lap.
But Mary had no intention of just sitting there. She got up on her feet right away, balancing on his thighs while holding onto his upper arms and practically launched herself toward his face, reaching for his beard, her hands rubbing over it.
Audrey laughed, warm and wholehearted.
“Oh,” he blinked, slightly surprised but mainly amused by the toddler’s interest in his facial hair.
“Do you like Siegfried’s beard, Mary?” Audrey asked her granddaughter, unable to stop the amusement from showing on her face.
Mary’s little fingers closed around the short hairs on Siegfried’s cheek with surprising force, tugging at them a little too enthusiastically and catching a bit of skin in the process.
Siegfried’s expression made it clear he was in pain, though he did his best not to make a sound as he did not want to startle Mary.
"No, we cannot do that, luv,” Audrey said right away as she took hold of Mary’s hands, trying to loosen the grip of her little but surprisingly strong fingers. “You have to be gentle.”
Mary was reluctant to let go, but she did when she saw the stern look on her nana’s face. Even at her young age, she knew that when her grandma told her to stop, it was wise to obey at once.
"Pulling hurts. Be careful,” Audrey explained patiently. “Like this,” her right hand moved to Siegfried’s face, fingers gently sweeping through his facial hair, caressing his cheek. His beard felt even softer than she remembered.
Her mind drifted back to the last time she had been this close to him: The night the Prime Minister had announced the end of the war on the wireless. They had all gathered in the kitchen in their nightclothes and Siegfried had reached for her, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Audrey hadn’t hesitated and met his embrace enthusiastically and the feeling of his facial hair against her cheek had made her skin tingle.
Now, her eyes found his, fingers still moving. Over his cheek, down to his chin and back up again once more.
It took her a moment to realise what she was doing and that her little demonstration for Mary had gone on far longer than necessary. Shocked by her own actions, she withdrew her hand at once, pulling it back quickly and more forcefully than necessary.
“That was nice.” Siegfried said, his eyes still lingering on a sheepish Audrey even as he addressed Mary. "Can you do it like your nana showed you?”
The toddler nodded and moved her fingers so very gently over his beard that all he could feel was warmth and a light tickle.
“That’s it! Well done, Mary!” He complimented the little girl who was once again beaming with the biggest smile.
Temporarily having forgotten they were surrounded by friends and family, Audrey glanced around to see whether anyone had noticed their little moment, her brief lapse of judgment.
Fortunately, everyone seemed wrapped up in conversation, busy with their plates or tending to the children. She was just beginning to feel relieved when her gaze met Mrs Pumphrey’s. One look at the older woman’s face told her everything she needed to know: she had seen it.
Mrs Pumphrey offered her a knowing smile and a small, encouraging nod.
This prompted Audrey to rise rather abruptly and announce that she would see to the pudding. Betty offered to help, and the two of them slipped away into the kitchen.
Mary remained with Siegfried, both her hands still occupied with his beard, stroking it with the same careful touch her nana had shown her.
When the pudding was served and Audrey finally sat down again, the seat beside her was empty. She glanced around the room but could not spot Siegfried anywhere.
It did not particularly concern her. He might have slipped away to finish sorting the presents, or perhaps he simply needed a moment’s quiet and a few puffs on his pipe.
So, she stayed seated where she was and watched her family devour her trifle and shortbread, both only possible thanks to the sugar Maggie had gifted her. Where the young woman had managed to get it from remained a mystery Audrey had no desire to solve.
The cake Helen had made for Jimmy’s birthday remained untouched by anyone but James. While her baking and cooking skills had improved over the years, she was still far away from being an expert.
When Siegfried still hadn’t reappeared a quarter of an hour later, Audrey began to worry, wondering whether his disappearance might have something to do with her little “demonstration” earlier.
She abandoned her half-eaten trifle and made her way to his office. It was empty. Gerald, the rat, the only living being in the room.
There was no sign of Siegfried in the examination rooms either, but when she noticed that his boots were missing, she knew exactly where to look.
She took her coat from the hook, pulled it over her dress and left the house through the backdoor, heading towards the animal shed.
Just as she’d suspected, she found him inside the little building, leaning against the wall with his pipe between his lips.
“There you are,” Audrey said as she stepped in, closing the door behind her. “We’ve been missin’ you.”
“Needed a moment,” he replied, offering nothing more.
“It’s been more than a moment,” she said gently. It wasn’t a reproach, simply a fact.
When he didn’t answer, she asked quietly, “Are you quite all right?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he snapped, immediately regretting his harsh tone.
“Because you’re hidin’ out here in the cold when you could be in the warm, havin’ shortbread and trifle with the rest of us,” Audrey reached for the blanket on the old sofa. The very same one she had been wrapped in years prior when she had been waiting for a sign of life from Edward.
She unfolded it, stepped closer and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. “You’ll catch your death out here…”
“I’m fine”, he said, not even trying to sound convincing. Still, he drew the blanket closer, only now truly realizing just how cold it was.
“You’ll have to try a great deal harder than that to convince me, Siegfried Farnon.” She crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly.
“You should go back inside.”
“And I will … as soon as you tell me what’s gotten into you.”
“Nothing got into me! I just wanted some peace and quiet! Is that too much to ask?!” He barked louder than necessary.
It did not impress her. She knew him too well to get upset over him raising his voice. It simply was how he reacted when he felt backed into a corner or overwhelmed. Audrey reached for his arm, her touch light, her eyes finding his, quietly asking him to talk to her. The moment their eyes locked, his gaze softened. He couldn’t help it. She had that effect on him. She could completely undo him with a look like that.
“You looked forward to Christmas. Merely moments ago, you were in good spirits. What changed?” Her voice gentle, soft, almost as if she were talking to a frightened animal.
He didn’t answer at once. It took him a few moments before he finally shared, in a quiet voice, what was plaguing him. “None of this is going to last.”
She had a suspicion what he was talking about, but stayed quiet and let him speak.
“Last year…” he began, then stopped again, as though the words caught in his throat. “Christmas was rather… quiet. Empty. The Herriots were at Heston, Tristan in Italy… and you…”
The memory still ached, the pain visible on his face. It went straight to her heart,
“I had hoped you’d join them at Heston,” she said softly. “When Helen told me you never turned up, I was worried. I called. Many times.”
“I took all the emergency calls over the holidays. There seemed little point in being at home on my own.”
“You know you were more than welcome to join us in Sunderland. I wrote as much in me letter.”
"I know,” he said. “But I didn’t want to intrude…”
“You wouldn’t have been intruding. I wouldn’t have invited you otherwise.” Her hand slipped from his upper arm until it found his, curling her fingers around his.
“You were with your family.”
“Not with all of my family,” she clarified.
“I wasn’t sure you hadn’t only invited me out of pity,” he admitted.
“Pity?” Pity had been the last thing on her mind when she’d written that letter. “I invited you because I wanted you there. I wanted you to meet Edward, and our little Mary…” She hesitated, her voice softening. “And I wanted to see you. I missed you.”
It surprised him, that she admitted it so openly, even more than the fact that she had actually felt his absence. “You did?”
“Of course.”
“I missed you too,” he said, his gaze dropping to their hands, still clasped together. “More than I thought possible.”
“So why didn’t you visit?” Her voice gentle, not a trace of reproach. She simply wanted to know what had been going on.
“It was easier not to.”
“How?”
"Because I knew that at the end of the visit, I’d be going back home alone … and I wasn’t sure I could bear that.” His thumb brushed softly over her knuckles.
“Oh Siegfried.” Audrey’s free hand rose to cup his cheek, just as it had earlier. Only this time she was not showing Mary how to be gentle. She simply wanted to touch him, to comfort him.
“With the war being over and having everyone home this Christmas…” he began, then paused, weighing his words. “It’s more than I ever expected and I’m so very grateful … but I simply can’t help but think ahead.”
He swallowed and went on: “Things have a habit of changing. Next year, perhaps, or the one after. You might return to Sunderland. The Herriots may well take over Heston. Tristan will have a life of his own with Charlotte...”
Her fingers softly caressed his cheek. “None of us know what the future holds…,” she murmured, “but I can promise you: I have no intention of leavin'. Not for Sunderland, not for anywhere else.”
“You miss Mary,” he said carefully. “And it’s plain she misses you too. Edward said more than once how glad he was to have you there, how much help you were.”
“Yes, and I’ll go on visiting them regularly. And they’ll visit us.” She tightened her hold on his hand. “But me home is here. I’ve known that for a long time, even before I went to Sunderland. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“Then why didn’t you come back once Edward was better? When Mary was born and Betty recovered?”
“You were avoiding me calls, stopped replying to me letters. That did not exactly feel like an invitation to come back.”
His gaze fell from hers, he was ashamed. “I was a bloody idiot…”
“That you were,” she agreed.
“I felt like I had to stay away, leave you be with your family. I couldn’t ask you to come back and leave your son.”
“But you could have been my friend! It wasn’t one thing or the other. There is room in me life for Edward AND you. Yes, I was away but I had hoped that we would still write … and telephone. That you’d visit …”
Siegfried sighed, the sound heavy with regret. “I see all of that now. Helen and James were adamant that I mustn’t pressure you to return, that it had to be entirely your decision. And they were right. It would not have been fair to you.”
He paused, gathering himself. “So, I convinced myself it was easier to keep my distance altogether, to simply leave you be … I didn’t trust myself to keep my resolve. If I saw you, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from asking you to come back.”
Her right hand joined her left on his face, one on each cheek. She leaned in until her forehead rested against his. “I was hopin’ you’d telephone every day.”
“Oh, I wanted to,” he whispered. “You have no idea.” His hands finally dared to reach for her, settling at her lower back, just above her hips. “So many times I stood by the telephone, thinking of dialling the number at your boarding house.”
She let out a small, shaky breath, thumbs still softly brushing along his jaw. “We don’t have to stand by a telephone waitin’ anymore,” she said quietly. “We are home. Both of us.”
He only nodded, too absorbed in her face, her lips, and the words she’d just spoken. He was utterly taken with her, completely bewitched.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere.” She promised, the breath of her words brushing his lips.
They were so close, forehead to forehead, barely an inch of space between their mouths.
He closed his eyes, fully enjoying the moment, scarcely believing she was real and that they had finally said out loud what they had never dared to voice before.
Her fingers continued to trace his cheek in lingering strokes. “We should go back inside. They’ll be wonderin’ where we’ve run off to. And I’d rather they didn’t come lookin’ for us.”
He knew she was right, of course. But he wasn’t ready yet for this moment to end, he needed a few more minutes with her.
“I need them to wait just a little longer.” Siegfried said at last, finally having found his voice again, though it was not much more than a whisper.
“And why is that?”
“Because I have wanted to kiss you for far longer than is decent to admit,” he confessed. “And I find I cannot wait another moment.”
A warm, intense wave of emotions bloomed inside her, rising from her belly, spreading to her chest, then colouring her cheeks. “Oh.” Was all she managed to say.
“Unless, of course, you’d rather I did not…” He was already backtracking, eager to soften his boldness. “I don’t wish to rush you, or pressure you. There is ti–”
He never got to finish the thought. He was cut off mid-sentence. Not by her words but by her lips. She had simply leaned forward and closed the already barely existing distance between them.
One of her hands slid to the back of his head and drew him even closer. The kiss was gentle yet unmistakably determined. There was no doubt that she wanted this.
It took him a moment to respond. He was too shocked, too stunned to have her this close at last, to have her take the lead. But once he recovered from the initial surprise, he tightened his hold on her and kissed her back with equal fervour.
A soft, content hum escaped her, encouraging him and reassuring him all at once.
They only broke apart when the need for air became too strong.
Still Audrey stayed close, forehead resting against his once more, breathing heavily. She needed to steady herself, needed for her heart to slow down.
Then she drew back, just enough to see him properly. His eyes were wide, soft, utterly undone.
“We’ve got a house full of people,” she whispered, telling him they needed to go back inside to tend to their guests. “If Tristan comes lookin’, we’ll never hear the end of it.”
Siegfried chuckled. It came out huskier than intended. He was still overwhelmed, completely taken aback by their kiss.
He didn’t speak. Instead, he reached for her hand, lifted it to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers in the process.
“I don’t think I will be much use in there,” he said, voice still husky. “You’ve just quite ruined my ability to behave sensibly.”
Audrey found she rather enjoyed having rattled him. It was only fair. After all he did the very same to her.
She reached up and straightened his collar, which didn’t need fixing in the slightest. She simply wanted an excuse to fuss over him, to touch him, to stay close a moment longer.
“You’ll manage,” she murmured.
“I barely managed before I knew what it was like to kiss you.” Siegfried’s gaze flicked to her mouth again.
Her breath caught in her throat at his words. His sheer honesty was going to be her downfall.
“Siegfried…” she managed, voice barely more than air.
“I know,” he whispered. “Not now.”
“But later.” She promised with a glint in her eye. Her hand capturing his cheek once more. “All right?”
He nodded, believing her.
It took more effort than expected to let go of him. Unlike Siegfried, however, she did not express her disappointment quite so plainly. He, on the other hand, muttered something under his breath, cursing the day he’d suggested celebrating Christmas at Skeldale and inviting half the village. A complaint Audrey knew perfectly well, he did not mean for a second.
“Come on, grumpy man.” She said, already a few steps ahead, waiting by the door. She reached out, offering her hand for him to take.
He did not hesitate. In three quick steps he was with her, closing his fingers around hers.
They left the shed hand in hand, crossed the yard, and slipped into the house through the back door by the kitchen.
In retrospect it was rather naïve to assume the room would be empty, though what they truly couldn’t have anticipated was that the person inside would be Edward.
Both Audrey and Siegfried stopped short when they saw him. He was spooning mash from the pot onto a small plate and glanced up at the sound of the door.
His eyes flicked to their linked hands for a second before he turned back to his task. “Mary’d rather have some more mash than pudding,” he said evenly. “Hope it’s all right I’m getting it for her meself.”
“Course it is,” Siegfried replied at once, grateful his voice sounded reasonably normal again.
“Let me get you some more gravy,” Audrey said after clearing her throat, letting her fingers slip from Siegfried’s, walking toward the shelf space where she had put some of the leftovers.
“I got it, ma.” Edward assured her with a warm smile. “You and Mr Farnon go on, join the others.”
“Are you certain?” she asked, only in part talking about the gravy. She was asking if he was truly alright with all of this, if he truly felt at ease with her and Mr Farnon … getting closer.
“Absolutely,” he said without hesitation. Then his eyes shifted from his ma to Siegfried, giving him a small, barely noticeable nod, giving his approval.
With Edward’s blessing silently granted, Audrey found it suddenly difficult to keep her composure. She quickly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye that had escaped without her consent.
She stepped closer toward her son “I’m so glad you are here.” Her fingers softly stroked his cheek before she pressed a kiss to it.
“So am I.” Edward said and meant it. He liked Skeldale. He liked Mr Farnon. And he was fairly sure he’d also learn to like Tristan at some point.
“Now, go on in before the others start wondering where you two have got to.” He reached for the gravy, poured some of it over the mash and then went to take a glass from the cupboard. He was moving about the kitchen as though he’d always belonged there.
Audrey smiled at her son, eyes still a little damp but filled with love and pride. “All right, then,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “Thank you.”
Edward watched them slip back into the dining room. Siegfried’s hand hovered above his ma’s lower back, guiding her despite barely touching her. Her shoulders looked lighter than Edward could remember ever seeing them.
He exhaled quietly, a smile tugging at his mouth.
About time, he thought.
About time his mother was truly happy. And he wasn’t in the least surprised that the man responsible was Siegfried Farnon.