Work Text:
This wasn’t at all the lesbian U-Haul experience Soobin had been dreaming of come college graduation.
She had pictured her best friend stashed away in the back of one, wedged between Soobin’s tween-boy-outfits and a custom PC, triple-wrapped in bubble wrap and in transit to their shared home. Instead, she was driving her Yeonjun-less U-Haul to a bare bones rental on the outskirts of town while her best friend chased an internship further in the city. Always destined for something bigger.
And Soobin was happy for her, she really was, but there was just one minor thing to note.
She was in love with her. Had been for years. Which complicated things.
A platonic love between them could’ve survived a continental drift. But this, what Soobin felt for her, only made the move more painful. Distance makes the heart go sombre, and all that. It was killing her to let over an hour separate them when not even a wall had separated them for the past four years. They'd had their routine down to a science.
Swirling around their kitchenette at breakfast, with Soobin scraping off excess bacon grease to try and preserve their expensive ceramic pan, and storing it in a mason jar to dispose of correctly which only a gay person would do, while Yeonjun would be across the island adding far too much chilli oil to their boiled eggs.
Laundry days where Soobin would be head-down-ass-up in the top loader trying to retrieve her best friend’s lacy socks from the agitator, while Yeonjun showed her gratitude by playing bongos on her butt.
Date nights—well, movie nights—gave Soobin an excuse to hold Yeonjun close, running fingers through her hair as they recounted the day’s classes in hushed mumbles backed by the soundtrack to Bottoms. More than once she had come close to closing that gap, burning their friendship for something more.
But she never did.
And now it was too late.
Unlocking her new front door was sobering. The space was bare, of course it was, but without Yeonjun’s fingerprints it just felt sterile. Their old place had evolved into the perfect blend of the two of them. With Yeonjun translating Soobin’s love of vibrant animation into colourful leather and bespoke art, while she incorporated her own chicness and warmth as brushed brass and travertine.
Yeonjun’s work was more than just her degree, it was the foundation of their life together. That was more powerful than anything, and it was also why she was going to excel in her new job.
But miles away in her new house, with its pilling carpet and yellowed baseboards, Soobin was breaking down in the doorway. Change was bad enough, moving was bad enough, and now she had been stripped of the past four years and her favourite person in the world. She felt off-kilter and knew it would never be right here. Not yet. Not until Yeonjun was by her side.
With no one else to help her, Soobin got to work carting her boxes into the house, not even bothering to dump them in the right rooms. If she blocked the entrance she would have no choice but to get in the car and run straight back into Yeonjun’s arms.
She was halfway up the driveway with the last of her boxes when she caught sight of Yeonjun’s handwriting on one for the kitchen. ‘I left you the good pan, eat well x’ in purple sharpie. Soobin crouched down to run her fingers along it as if rubbing it three times would make her best friend appear. It didn't. Instead tears appeared, spilling over her waterline to clog up her glasses. And then came the awful wheezing that felt like it was trying to break free from her ribs. What a first impression she must have been making to the neighbourhood.
About to give her glasses a wipe for the fourth time, she felt something wet press against her. It couldn’t have been more tears because it was seeping in through the side of her pants. Looking down through her streaked lenses, she saw a mostly hairless thing around the size of a bread box burrowing into her leg. Oh god. Was it some type of overgrown, tapeworm-ridden rodent? Shit. She really should’ve done more research into the area’s fauna. Soobin skidded back along her ass to try and put some distance between her and that wild animal. But then it was bounding towards her, landing on her chest and knocking her glasses off her face and–
Oh. It was just a dog. A crusty, toy thing with a pair of cataracts. And behind the dog? A shrivelled up old lady scowling at her, “Winifred, get back here now, it’s not safe.”
Soobin guessed the it in question was referring to her. But she thought she looked pretty defenceless in her clunky prescription glasses and minion pj's and all splayed out on her ass. But white women, man. They had some serious vitriol to them. And who the fuck names their dog Winifred? Boomers should have their naming rights revoked. This whole situation was balls.
She would be lying, though, if she said she didn’t appreciate the affection coming from this dog. Tapeworms and butthole-tongue be damned, it was nice to feel a little welcomed and a little love when this place so clearly lacked it. “Okay, back to your mummy now. Before she kills me.”
The dog easily trotted off back down the driveway like Soobin was day old leftovers—just say the word, wow—leaving her with nothing to do but dust her minion pants off and wheel the boxes in like the big girl she was. This time she actually placed them in the right rooms, setting the kitchen one on the counter with a kiss to the top of it. Ugh, such a loser. Kissing fucking cardboard. She had to do something about it before her virginal vibes sunk into the walls of the house.
Not today, though.
Eyes growing tired and armed with a warm can of red bull for dinner, her virgin ass sat itself on her patchwork leather chair—the very one picked out by her best friend—to stare blankly at the space. Their lives at this moment must have looked polar opposite.
What was her new place like? Was her roommate nice? Did she feel the same emptiness Soobin felt? No, no. It didn’t matter. Yeonjun was where she deserved to be.
And Soobin, well.
She would just have to learn to be alone.
𓆱
Me
it’s the actual pits out here
i miss you
juniper <3
i bet it feels good living in an actual house tho
imagine the wall space 🤤
Me
it’s too much for just me
need you here
so empty
juniper <3
just wait til i’m rich
we’ll get a huuuuge house to accommodate me and all my crap
you won’t even have room to breathe 😈
Me
as long as the neighbourhood is good
i had some old lady stare me down before cuz i was crying in the front yard
like focus on your balding shih tzu lady
haha
Oh fuck. Wait–
juniper <3
WHAT? why were you crying?
Me
must be the type of grass out here
juniper <3
choi soobin?
you better pick up that fucking phone.
When hotel room service erupted from her phone speakers (the ringtone Yeonjun had picked out for her contact) Soobin jumped hard enough for her nose to accept the call. Her heart was pounding. She wasn’t ready but she also desperately needed to hear her. Something she hadn’t realised until right this moment.
“Hi Ju—“
“Why didn’t you call me straight away?” She sounded worked up. Soobin didn’t mean to worry her. The last thing she wanted was Yeonjun to feel guilty about living a life she had earned. “Just because I can’t give you physical cuddles doesn't mean you have to go through a tough time without me.”
“No, it’s fine, really. It’s just a big change, I’ll be all good by tomorrow.” Soobin’s voice was steadier than she expected, even when she was spewing absolute bullshit down the line.
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Good. Give me two weeks and I’ll be there.” Yeonjun relented, sounding satisfied. And then a little damper, she added, “I can’t have you forgetting what I look like.”
As if there was any universe where Soobin didn’t have Yeonjun’s deep eyes and pretty, pretty mouth etched onto her retinas.
“Do you start work next week?” Soobin asked, tucking the phone into her cheek so she could hold her heart.
“Mmm, I’m kinda scared of being fresh meat.” Yeonjun mumbled. Soobin guessed she had her face smooshed into the mattress.
“Don’t be, they’ll love you.” It’s impossible not to.
“Did you forget how competitive my industry is?”
“They’ll get one glimpse at your beautiful, extraordinary mind and fall at your feet. So you better wear those cute kitten heels on your first day.” Soobin laughed through the tail end of it. But, fuck. Her voice was starting to get wet.
The line was silent for a beat. “I really miss you, Soobin.” Yeonjun whispered, sweetness seeping out, and Soobin’s heart just about tumbled out of her body. She cradled it a little harder.
“Two weeks and then you can have your way with me.” Well, shit. Choi Soobin you fucking girl failure. That didn’t come out platonic at all. “As in—“
“I’ll be crossing off my calendar, waiting.” Yeonjun replied. Soobin let out a sigh of relief and then a smile at the mental image.
“I’ll be waiting for you too.” A flash of sadness clamped down around the edges of her voice. She couldn’t let her hear. Couldn’t let her know how sick and dependent she was. “Goodnight, Yeonjun.”
“Night, my sweet girl. I love you lots.”
“Love you too.” Soobin had always given up her love so easily.
But for Yeonjun, she would. Every time.
𓆱
The next morning, as Soobin looked down at her mild eggs in front of a backsplash with mouldy grout lines—like jesus christ, did the last tenants bathe in the sink?—her mind was only circulating thoughts of Yeonjun. WWYD(WTFAK)? What would Yeonjun do with this fuck ass kitchen? If only she had something to cover it up with.
That's when her mind struck gold.
Okay, so it wasn’t a Nobel Prize winning idea, but it would be one step closer to replicating their old life. Soobin couldn’t help but grin to herself when she set eyes upon what she was looking for, sitting right there at the bottom of her discarded moving boxes.
That afternoon found Soobin with a scotch tape dispenser wedged between her teeth and a stack of individually laminated sheets of paper piled on the kitchen bench. She may not have had the budget, or clearance, for a real stone tile backsplash but she did have the next best thing: images of stone tiles printed on the back of tax return receipts. Unfortunately the travertine one was behind a paywall, and she was not settling for granite, so the shutterstock watermark would have to be part of the feature.
Disregarding any measuring at all, she sloppily stuck them in a line that almost covered the entire kitchen wall. Damn, how much fucking tax had she paid?
Her tape had started dispensing the non-sticky end of the roll when one sharp knock rattled the front door. It was probably the neighbour from yesterday. Maybe she was here to inform Soobin that she actually did need a round of praziquantel. Didn’t she understand that the hinges in this house could barely take a light ta–
“Hi Soobin.”
“Holy fuck.”
And right there in front of her, glowing despite the broken front porch light, was Yeonjun.
Two whole weeks early and looking like Soobin’s lifeline.
Or maybe the death of her, as Yeonjun sprung up into her arms with an iron grip around her neck, carotids caught in the crossfire. But Soobin couldn’t give less of a fuck, she was real and smelled like donut peaches.
And had it been just over 72 hours since they had been this close? Well, yes. But in sapphic speak that was about three whole years, and she was missing her before she was even gone.
After setting her down, Soobin stared into her eyes for a good thirty seconds—completely forgetting that Yeonjun wasn’t just a photo in her camera roll and could actually perceive Soobin’s intensity and gay yearning—before she got flustered and started picking out the paint chips that must have fallen into Yeonjun’s hair while she was waiting to come in. It would, honest to god, take one sneeze for this entire house to crumble.
“You’re here. Why are you here?” Soobin asked. Non-accusing, just full of awe.
“Hmm, I don’t know. Would you believe me if I said it was because the only person I care about told me she was upset? Paired with the fact that I’m weak and selfish.” Her voice had turned thin as her hands settled on Soobin's waist. And Soobin? She was melting. Trying to fight the semi-drunken daze her best friend's voice and pressure had put her under to scream out and ask what Yeonjun being weak and selfish entailed. What did that mean? “I also wanted to check out just how much wall space you had.”
“Of course you did.”
“What were you up to? Before I interrupted.”
“Oh, oh,” When Soobin set out to give her best go at a budget kitchen renovation, she never actually had the forethought to think about how lame it would look to her best friend. The professional interior designer. Not wanting to out her feelings by telling her that she had only done it so she could daydream in her kitchen, imagining Yeonjun tying up her apron for her before she attempted some vegan baking, Soobin just went with “Uh, just adding some personal touches to the kitchen.”
"Cool, so like matching toaster and kettle? Magnets on the fridge?"
"Something like that." But it was too late, her cover was blown so soon. Yeonjun charged into the kitchen, inspecting the temporary backsplash.
“Are these your tax receipts?” She pulled the end one off the wall, leading to a chain reaction where the entire rest of the row lifted too. That was fine. It wasn't like two hours of work or anything.
“Yeah, I was out of regular paper.”
“What the fuck, have you been hoarding these since you were 16?" Yeonjun started reading through them like it was Santa's fucking naughty and nice list. Soobin wanted to jump out the window and fall 4ft to her death. "Wait, this one is the lodgement form.”
“Oh.”
“Soobin, baby, you’re going to jail.” Soobin liked being called baby. She liked it a lot. Suicide postponed.
Suddenly very comfortable playing the fool if it meant she got coddled, she replied, “It’s fine I would’ve done it online. Probably.”
“You’re really something else.” With Yeonjun looking at her like that, she wasn't quite sure what it meant. Was this part of getting babied? She was going to have a tough time defending the mommy issues allegations.
“So I’m guessing you don’t like the backsplash?” Soobin pouted through the question and tried to conceal her smile when Yeonjun brushed a hand through her hair.
“I mean, you tried. That counts for something, it’s just not practical… or safe. Like what happens when the tape gets loose and all of a sudden there’s stock-image-travertine in your budae jjigae?”
“That’s fair.” And Soobin knew Yeonjun was giving a solid argument but she was only half listening. Distracted by the pretty way her eyebrows gave way, looking overly distressed at the thought of Soobin eating plastic and paper as if she hadn't eaten worse things during college.
“You're telling me this whole time you not only owned a printer, but a laminator too?”
“What, a girl can’t get crafty?” Soobin was feeling very cocky and very confident for three whole seconds before Yeonjun took a step closer, tugging on her ear to pull her in until they were basically nose to nose.
“Not my girl. Not when she pulls shit like this.”
And then it hit Soobin all at once. This was the key to more Yeonjun, no matter how hectic her schedule got: absolutely fucking up her own place.
“So what do you propose I do to fix it?”
“Are peel and stick tiles a foreign concept to you?” Yeonjun was still squishing her earlobe like she was expecting it to squeak.
“...Apparently, yes.” Which was the truth. The only time Soobin had ever wandered into any type of hardware store was to look at the paint chips she thought were scratch and sniff. She had been 19. In front of her, Yeonjun blinked. “Don’t look at me like that! This is your territory.”
“C’mon, sit down and we’ll order some. I brought snacks.” Yeonjun said, whipping out a couple dented boxes from her jacket pockets. Huh, she was so environmentally conscious. Forgoing a plastic bag and all that.
They tried to squash up on Soobin's temporary inflatable couch which was throwing their weight all over the place. The seat of the damn thing was collapsing in where their thighs met, forcing them horizontal as if they were going to capsize in a body of water at the staggering depth of 0m.
"Before you say anything, the real thing is getting delivered tomorrow." Soobin explained, sitting up straighter and linking their arms together so they wouldn't go anywhere. Wouldn't want to get lost at sea.
Yeonjun kept quiet, only sticking a stick of pepero in Soobin's mouth before turning back to scroll on her phone. Soobin was surprised she even found a whole pepero after the box had been smashed between their bodies. Mm, their bodies… pressed together.
Cutting another of Soobin's fantasies—that exceeded a teen rating—short, Yeonjun shoved the phone in her face. "Pick one. Matte or satin finish."
Still with the stick of pepero 75% the way out her mouth, Soobin leaned forward to tap it against the satin option with a muffled "ah ih" in case the message didn't go through. She then promptly shat herself when Yeonjun leaned forward to bite the end of it off. Woah. She was two centimetres away from having her first kiss on a bed of PVC. And she wasn't even kinky like that.
"Done. Should be here in 3-5 business days." Yeonjun said as she took a screenshot of the confirmed order screen, when Soobin damn well knew there was already a perfectly fine confirmation email in her inbox. She was just particular like that. "You do have a mailbox, right?"
"Uh, yeah. Should do." She would have gotten up to check if Yeonjun hadn't slowly started to slide onto her lap. Damn this blown-up piece of shit was good for something after all. "Do you want me to order delivery for dinner?"
Wait, wait, wait. Yeonjun was sliding back off of her. Well it was only by an inch and probably the result of physics, but she must have come on too strong.
"Although I would love to demolish an entire chicken with you, you know… really dig into it's breasts and stuff, I should head back. There are a few things I need to have nailed down before my first day." Soobin guessed she wasn't one of those things.
Almost as if she was trying to ease the blow, Yeonjun let her head rest on Soobin's shoulder. Soobin softly leant her own head back on it. The paint chips were on to something, she would love to stay nestled in her best friend's hair forever. And she could've had a tantrum right then and there—which she would now relocate to her shower once Yeonjun left—but it would be pea-brained of her not to appreciate what Yeonjun had already done. Coming all this way to make sure she was okay. If anything, Soobin was the weak and selfish one.
So instead she just pressed a light kiss to the back of her hand and said, "Let me walk you out."
All huddled in front of the passenger side door to Yeonjun's Kia Picanto, it seemed like they were both trying to hold onto the moment a touch longer. As if waiting for a candle to naturally fizz out that had been under a candle warmer the whole time. When Yeonjun pinched her cheek, Soobin squeezed her waist in response. Stoking the flames. But it was futile, the night was over. With the key fob under her thumb, Yeonjun whispered, “Call me if you need me. For anything. I mean it.”
Soobin was going to abuse that privilege.
𓆱
Now Soobin’s neighbourhood may not have had affordable gas or a decent food place or, you know, community? But what it did have was a TJ Maxx. And given their track record for stocking shit people never originally set out to purchase, she knew she would find something absolutely extraordinary (/derogatory) to spice up her bathroom.
It had been just over a week since Yeonjun’s surprise appearance and Soobin simply couldn’t wait one more. Work had forced her to push aside any poor DIY attempts in favour of having her job mansplained to her over zoom, but now it was Saturday. And TJ Maxx was open from eight til six. If she hustled, she might just get Yeonjun over before the end of the weekend.
As soon as those automatic doors slid open, she beelined for the home decor section and almost cried at the selection of millennial signage. Yeonjun was going to have to stay the night trying to take all of these down. Well, she would’ve if Soobin had the budget. She didn’t, so it was time to comb through all of them until she found the perfect one.
When life gives you lemons, add some vodka and soda? Too basic. Coffee now, pickleball later? Too tame. King of the grill, stand back dad’s cooking? Well that one Soobin would hang up unironically. But there it was, tucked behind the shit happens: remember to flush framed poster was a chalkboard style sign reading no nuts please, food or otherwise.
“Fuck, that’s good.” Deciding she would buy it if it was under fifteen dollars, Soobin turned it around to reveal a big, beautiful $14.99 on the label.
She was considering whether she should tie the chalkboard theme all the way through the bathroom. Perhaps a little chalkboard paint on the toilet lid so she could tally up how many times she visited the thing in a day, which her GP would appreciate. Ultimately, she flushed that idea out of her mind, not really wanting to air out her bathroom habits quite so explicitly despite the fact that Yeonjun wouldn’t even flinch at them.
So Soobin started stewing over what would make her flinch, scanning the aisles of Rae Dunn canisters and plastic starfish. God, this place hadn’t made it out of 2013.
How about a little wordplay? Everybody knew the opposite of nuts were bolts. And she already had a plan for how to integrate them.
Yeonjun had gagged once at a reddit post of someone putting decorative stones in their sink, claiming it to be a spa luxury as if the rocks could grow hands and flip you prone, asking "is this pressure okay?". Perhaps if Soobin feigned a little bad memory, she could recreate the same thing but with bolts. If Yeonjun had shouted the roof off ranting about how unhygienic is was and how it was obviously a ploy to cover up the damage made by ‘OP’s rocks for brains falling into the sink’, she was going to absolutely flip out over the damage that was about to be done to Soobin’s bathroom.
Seeing as the closest Home Depot was 45 minutes away, Soobin decided to circle around TJ Maxx for another half hour until she found a pack of bolts anywhere. After having no luck with the tiny hardware section, she stumbled upon a selection of glorified knick knacks for father’s day, and due to the slim pickings, was stuck buying twenty pocket-sized tool kits. Good thing the fuckers were on clearance.
The set up back at home was far more straight forward than the backsplash debacle. Sort the nuts and bolts. Bolts in the sink. Nuts stored loose in her junk draw full of batteries—what could go wrong? And finally, the sign violently duck taped above the toilet since she forgot to buy hooks.
Now she could’ve called Yeonjun, but a picture says a thousand words. And this one, as Soobin posed in front of the mirror, making sure the sink, the sign and her hand veins were in frame, would say oh so much. The selfie was creeping into hey mamas territory with the lip bite and the way the waistband of her boxers was peeking out from her sweatshorts. But, hey, maybe that's the type of woman Yeonjun needed her to be. It never hurt to thirst trap every so often. Plus, she was killing two birds with one stone, so long as the plan worked and it made Yeonjun feel something. Preferably a bit of shock and anger, a little attraction would be nice too. But Soobin would need a miracle for that to happen. Now she just needed to play it real mellow and send an extremely inconspicuous text.
Me
[image attached]
got a new shirt
do you like?
Was her shirt JJK merch from two years ago? Well, yes. But she didn’t have much to work with. And it seemed the bait had reeled her in anyway.
juniper <3
i’ll be over in an hour and a half
don’t move
it’s an emergency.
True to her word, and Soobin’s immense satisfaction, Yeonjun rocked up on her porch one hour and twenty-six minutes later.
“What was the emergency?”
“Your bathroom. What the fuck did you do to it?” Cool, so the emergency wasn’t Yeonjun wanting to jump her bones after the peek of her Dr Pepper underwear. But that was fine. The bathroom got her here, which is what she set out to do in the first place.
Letting Yeonjun lead the way to the bathroom as she stormed into the house, Soobin started up her sales pitch. “Hear me out, the concept was no nuts only bolts, which would work great for November.”
“Soobin, it’s April.”
“So? I’m just testing out the seasonal decor early.”
Yeonjun resigned herself to sit on top of the toilet lid sideways, flicking the no nuts sign and looking so, so disappointed. “To start off, I think this is supposed to go in the kitchen, but I guess I can appreciate the sentiment for the bathroom too.” Soobin resonated with that. Everyone knew the majority of nut-havers didn’t flush, or wipe, or complete any bodily function properly. “Unfortunately it’s ugly as fuck. Like, 2013 is calling.” That’s what Soobin said!
“Oh, really?” She asked, trying to sound disappointed. All she got was a blink in response.
“Now, the sink. You weren’t worried about rust at all?”
“You mean its patina?”
Yeonjun let out a sigh that looked like her entire soul escaping. “Not the same thing.”
“Right, right.” Ugh, Yeonjun was even hotter when she was in her knowledgeable and assertive flow state. Soobin had no choice but to back down. Mouth zipped and head nodding as she listed everything wrong with the bathroom. Including shit Soobin hadn’t even done herself.
“Give me your keys. We’re going to fix this.” Fucking bingo. She had just scored herself a department store date.
While Soobin was the lazy meandering type when she went shopping on an average day, Yeonjun was… intense. Like the if-Soobin-was-riding-in-the-cart-the-g-force-would-have-knocked-her-out type of intense.
“We need texture in this bitch… and colour. Any preferences?”
“I would leave my life in your hands.” Soobin gushed out, unthinking. Yeonjun looked back at her funny, stopping abruptly and jeopardising the P1 spot she must have been after based on the breakneck speed she was going at. Right, the bathroom. Colours. “As in, my living space… I would leave my living space in your hands.”
Yeonjun seemed satisfied, with a small wordless nod. And then she was off again, launching herself into the shelves of double-lined shower curtains. She picked a set out, holding it up to Soobin as if she was going to wear it. "I'm thinking vertical stripes since you're tall, and for colour, something warm since you look vitamin D deficient."
Okay, catching strays. It was fine. Water off her back.
But she just had to clarify. "So I look sick?"
"No. You look sexy and mysterious. Like a vampire. But I would rather we fix your immune system." Yeonjun accented with a pat to her apparently ghastly cheek. "Ooh candles!"
Soobin could huff some candles. She was down. Dusting one off, she ripped the lid off only for swamp ass to fill her nostrils. Did she read the label wrong? No. Right there printed in open sans was tuberose & bergamot. She hid it behind another Diptyque dupe (very loose wording) in case Yeonjun spotted it.
Before she could recover from the damage done to whatever receptor gave her a sense of smell, another candle was wafted under her nose. "Do you like this one? It's sea salt."
"Mm, yummy." Soobin squeezed out between clenched teeth as if it didn't smell like a big hunking chunk of nothing. On second thought, it could've been worse. Praise be.
"Okay forget the sea salt," Yeonjun tapped her nails—which had bunnies on them—along the rest of the candles as she decided what to pick up next. "Choose between these two."
The first one was cinnamon, which actually wasn't offensive at all. Soobin had half a mind to get that one and free herself from candle hell before she saw the other option. Peach bellini. She didn't even need to smell it to know that it was coming home with her to serve as a sensory replacement for her best friend. But she indulged it anyway. "Are you going to make a fruity joke if I say I want the peach bellini one?"
"I would, except I love peaches." Soobin knew. That was kind of the entire point.
"Good, put it in the cart."
"Next we need a plant to accompany its candle friend." Yeonjun was back behind the cart, speeding away leaving Soobin in her dust and barely catching what she had said. Did TJ Maxx sell plants? Or ABP standard helmets?
She found Yeonjun bent over, intensely comparing faux dried florals and artificial bulrush before deciding against either and moving to push the cart further forward. Just as Soobin reached her, about to tell her that she appreciated the delicateness of the sweetheart vine, a family of about nine thousand swarmed the aisle. With no spatial awareness at all, the hoard of children forced Soobin to cower behind the handle of the cart. The same handle Yeonjun was cowering behind. Holy fuck. She was caging Yeonjun in like they were in a bad shoujo anime.
She gulped as Yeonjun turned to face her. So close. "Uh, hey."
"Hi." Yeonjun replied with one of her soft smiles. For a brief moment, it felt like the day they had met. Orientation at college. All bumbling and shy. Soobin lugging her too-big suitcase in, catching green yuri open on Yeonjun's phone and thinking she was in with a fighting chance. Back before there was a friendship on the line. Before she knew just how much Yeonjun would come to mean to her.
The moment was broken when one of the kids came back, throwing a nobby ball at Soobin's ass. She wanted to die. Everyone knew it was absolutely mortifying to have something hit your butt and it publicly recoil.
"You have a big butt, miss." The four foot turd said before walking away, sucking on one of the spikes.
"I agree." Yeonjun voiced out, reaching around to give it a pinch. Soobin slid her hands down her face.
"Can we just get back to picking a plant?" She pleaded, ass firmly planted against the shelf so no one could get to it. "I want the sweetheart vine."
"Good choice, baby. It's got lots of texture and it'll do wonders to distract from the fact the top of your toilet is bright yellow. Your eye for design is already getting better." At the praise, Soobin felt like a dog with a bone. "Now we just need a tray or something to tie it all together."
This time Soobin clung to the side of the cart so she wouldn't get left behind. When they reached the homewares section, there were quite a few options for trays. A few mirrored ones, some cute ceramics, and also some marbled resin slop. Yeonjun payed no mind to any of those, instead reaching for a light wooden one.
“Maple reminds me of you.”
“Yeah? How?”
“Strong, warm and lovely.” Yeonjun had to be careful with that. It could break Soobin's heart.
”Dense?”
“Only sometimes.” There was a look in Yeonjun’s eye that Soobin couldn’t quite place. The heaviness of it felt like pity which made Soobin’s stomach lurch.
What if, this whole time, she had been dense about the things that mattered?
𓆱
After having to deal with so much testosterone at work, Soobin wasn’t surprised by the DIY idea that had popped into her head one paycheck later. A scissor feature wall. She had thought of it midway through a male colleague asking her for 'a female's perspective on whether his cologne gave Gigachad'. Soobin couldn't smell it. They both worked from home. Not that she'd want to. Pee yew.
She wasn’t quite sure if bulk buying scissors was a felony, so she opted for ordering online through guest checkout. All anonymous. And fuck Jeff Bezoz, but the prime delivery time? She couldn’t resist. The faster she got this feature wall up, the faster Yeonjun would come to tear it down and then Soobin could propose other scissor based activities. Like, uh… collaging.
She silently pumped her fist beneath her desk at the 20,000+ search results and got to clicking. Fabric scissors, multi-purpose kitchen scissors, those plastic craft scissors with a sick wavy edge. It didn’t matter. She added to cart. Finally, the largest box of finishing nails money could buy and the douchiest hammer a lesbian could acquire also made their way into the cart. And thanks to same-day-delivery, the scissoring could commence at precisely four-thirty PM. Yeonjun would be here in no time.
A short nap and one daily crossword later (What? She wanted to be eloquent for Yeonjun), there it was on her doorstep: a cardboard box. Her favourite. She kissed this one too, knowing it was giving her a direct ticket to Yeonjun town.
The haul was better than she expected. So outrageously large that Yeonjun would think she had lost her mind. Soobin wasn't afraid to sacrifice some dignity in order to get Yeonjun to look at her a little longer. If she looked long enough she might just unearth the feelings Soobin wasn't eloquent enough to say out loud yet.
She held the first nail to the wall and hesitated. Could she in good conscience look her landlord in the eye after defiling the wall with a thousand nail holes? Well, no. But she had some spackle in her back pocket, it'd be fine. So she swung the hammer down.
In total, the installation took two hours and a bruised & bloody thumb. It kinda gave her some aura though. Her mind drifted to scenes of her hand curled around Yeonjun's thigh. Maybe at a bar, or a more likely public place for Soobin to be (like the waiting area of an in-store pharmacy to pick up ointment for her finger), looking like her lover and big protector. She hoped Yeonjun viewed her the same way. But based on that one time she had compared Soobin to a bunny with its face dipped in milk, she supposed it would take a much grander gesture.
Going with the same strategy as last time, she sent Yeonjun a photo. This time it was of her socked feet propped up in front of the wall.
Me
[photo attached]
got new socks
do you like?
juniper <3
this shit better be ai
Soobin knew she didn't really mean that. In their final year of college, Yeonjun had started up a campaign against the use of ChatGPT in their school's branding material, with the slogan: 'OpenAI can open their mouth and suck on my balls!'. She had always been a visionary. The outrage was an honour to witness, both then and now. Soobin smiled seeing the three dots appear and then disappear in the chat, sure that Yeonjun was in her car already on the way.
"Okay, are you fucking with me?” This time Yeonjun was panting, hair wet and stuck like webs to her forehead. Soobin hadn't even realised it was starting to rain.
"Take it or leave it.”
"I’ll do you one better: destroy it." Yeonjun growled as she pushed her aside by the chest. Soobin would get on her knees for this woman.
But right now she needed to focus. Although in her original plan Yeonjun being so eager to tear it all down led to more exciting endeavours, Soobin found she wasn't ready to hit 3rd base. She didn't even know how softball worked. Instead, she just wanted to exist in this space with her best friend. It had been so long since they had spent the night in each other's company. Stalling was the only way. "Wait, wait, Yeonjun. Can't we appreciate it a little longer? How about we get you dry and then consider our options."
"You shouldn't have done this, Soobin. I'm serious." She had been so caught up anticipating a reaction that she hadn't realised Yeonjun wasn't smiling or rolling her eyes with that fond look. Fuck. "What if there's a surprise inspection and they keep your security deposit? You haven't got money to lose." Ouch. This had all been a ruse, but Soobin's financial situation was very real and had been a sore spot for the both of them. It was the reason they didn't live together anymore. Yeonjun needed to move into the city, and Soobin simply couldn't cover the rent. It was a different kind of grief knowing she was the reason their old life had crumbled. "Please, baby."
Yeonjun's cold hands took hold of Soobin's, a single tear falling down beside her perfect nose. Choppy tears had started falling down Soobin's face too. This entire situation just hurt so much. She took Yeonjun's hands, still bunched in hers, and pressed them to her face to try and calm down.
"Okay, okay. I'll take them down right now." They'd be down and then Yeonjun would be gone. Oh well, she fucked up. It's not like Soobin was a stranger to failure.
"But first let me,” All of a sudden, Yeonjun was pulling out her work iPad to take a photo of the wall. "I know you put a lot of effort into it."
"What are you doing?" Soobin asked as Yeonjun settled onto the couch—stable this time, with four legs—and opened a drawing app.
"I'm making it into a print for you to hang up." She replied lightly. Soobin's heart swelled. She was staying.
"You don't have to do that." Soobin countered, but she was already draping a heavy blanket around Yeonjun's shoulders, making sure she wasn't going anywhere.
"I want to." Yeonjun said, earnest. Soobin left a peck on her head, smiling into her hair.
Uninstalling the feature wall was actually quite satisfying. The rocking motion of the hammer was soothing and she made a game of trying to catch the nails in a cup before they fell on her toes. She was still working on a score higher than two in a row. And right behind her was the gentle clack of Yeonjun's apple pencil on her screen. Is this the parallel play people were talking about? She hadn't realised it was so important to her.
Deciding to take a peek at Yeonjun's progress before she got to filling in the holes, Soobin slid right in next to her on the couch. Her screen was full of flat colours. “You’re so good at this.”
“Soobin. I’m tracing a wall of scissors, be serious.”
"No but, your lines are so smooth and—" Soobin leaned in, pointing to the curve of one of the handles, when Yeonjun turned her head. They had to stop meeting like this. With their mouths so close and eyes locked and pupils dilated. It was dangerous for Soobin's heart. Because just like that, the voice in her head was back, telling her to burn it. Char their relationship in an irreversible moment of greed. There were some wants you just never grow out of. And she wanted Yeonjun.
"It's called brush stabilisation, look it up." Yeonjun whispered into the tiny space between them. She turned back to her iPad, nonchalant. It stung a bit. "What are you going to do with the scissors?"
"I don't know. Do you think people will be interested if I list them on marketplace?"
"What, after seeing this mysterious new seller with an ungodly amount of scissors? No, Soobin. They'll think you're a serial killer. You should donate them."
"To another serial killer? Choi Yeonjun, do you have connections I don't know about?"
"Shut up, the only bad company I keep is you." She kicked at Soobin's foot, their ankles clacking together. Ow. Soobin retaliated, stomping on the top of Yeonjun's sock, turning it into a full blown game of footsies as if they weren't grown enough to have a mortgage. Well, one of them was. It was hard for Soobin to picture herself ever reaching that milestone in her lifetime. "I googled it. There's a children's charity house just down the road from my apartment that could use the craft scissors. You could pass the fabric scissors onto the elderly sewing group that I found online. They meet once a week on this street." Soobin could guess who ran it. Yikes. At least she'd see Winifred again. "And as for the kitchen scissors… I think I might hold onto them for safekeeping."
"My gift to you." Soobin leaned back, threw her arm around the back of the couch and gave Yeonjun a wonky smirk.
"Thanks, baby. Always so chivalrous." Soobin's chest puffed up. "Okay I think I'm just about done with the print."
"Jesus christ, Jun. Your hands are magic." The artwork had evolved from the flat colours that were there a moment ago. Depth had been added through line variation and hatching. It looked great. Especially considering the origins of why the scissor wall even existed in the first place. Soobin had half a mind to pull out her wallet before she realised she was already down $100. "If you give me a week, I'll pay you for it."
"Uh uh uh," Yeonjun shook her head, pressing an index finger over Soobin's mouth. "You will do no such thing. What you will do, though, is use command strips to hang it up when it arrives."
"Command… sticks… huh? What did you say?"
"Are you kidding? You don't know what command strips ar— Fuck me. Fine, let me show you." She pulled out a little white thing from her pocket and beckoned Soobin over to stand in front of the wall. "Come here."
"Do you just carry those around?"
"No, but exceptions are made when you're best friends with someone adamant on tearing up her walls. So basically what you do is…"
Soobin was really trying to listen this time. She pinky swears. But Yeonjun just looked so good with her back against the wall talking about pulling the adhesive strip perpendicular to the wall. Or was it parallel? Who gives a shit. It was now 10pm, far too late for Yeonjun to drive back. Especially not now that the rain had picked up. Her stalling had worked.
"Can you stay for dinner this time?"
"…and if there's any residue— Huh? Oh. Yeah, I can stay." Soobin could've done a fucking backflip right then and there. She started bobbing on the balls of her feet trying to think of something to eat that wasn't rock hard microwave rice.
"Cool. You go get cosy, throw on D.E.B.S., and I'll bring us some food." She was halfway to the kitchen when Yeonjun called out after her.
"Soobin?"
"Yeah? Did you want something on the side?" But Yeonjun just crossed the space, almost sleepy with her movements, to wrap Soobin in a hug. "Oh? This is nice."
"You're my favourite person. Don't ever change." It almost slurred out of Yeonjun's mouth, spilling onto the front of Soobin's throat where her lips were pressed.
"S-sure, wasn't planning to?"
"Good." Yeonjun nuzzled her cheek into Soobin's neck one last time before depositing herself back on the couch, the blanket pulled up to her chin. What the fuck? They hugged each other all the time… But that? Something had shifted.
Soobin had never whipped up kimchi jjigae faster.
They had gotten to the point in the movie where Devon Aoki's character smokes her 85th cigarette, bowls scraped clean, when Yeonjun commented offhandedly, "I think some girl at work likes me. She's been looking at me the same way Lucy looks at Amy."
Right, the two characters that ride off into the night together. Wait.
Is this why she asked Soobin not to change? Yeonjun would be moving forward with her life, moving on, and Soobin would be unchanging. Stagnant. Left behind? No. She had to prove to Yeonjun that she was worth a life more than what it was now. That she could be an equal provider for Yeonjun. That Soobin was the only partner she'd ever need.
And she needed to tell Yeonjun that she was in love with her.
Before it was too late.
𓆱
Her least favourite neighbour's house was a five minute walk down the road.
Soobin really didn't want to be doing this. She was already in a shitty mood after last night. Why did Yeonjun have to fill her head with the prospect of dating someone that wasn't her? Life was so unfair. As the credits of the movie rolled in, Soobin heard her let out a heavy sigh, which she was sure translated to 'ugh, wish that was me with my cool and hot and sexy coworker'. Now, she hasn't seen this coworker, but she knew all designers were attractive, so she filled in the blanks. QA engineers? Not so much, based on what Soobin worked with.
But here she was, walking this damn box down the street. What else was she going to do? Soobin had no use for the fabric scissors, and in her delusional state, she was sure at least one of the other elderly ladies in the 'Austin Beeches Sewing Bee' facebook group had to be lovely… and not racist. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. As a show of gratitude for the box of scissors, they might sew her a nice jacket. She was kind of counting on them sewing her a nice jacket because her budget for new clothes had decreased significantly.
Soobin was desperate to move out of this shithole side of town and prove herself, so frugal it was for the near future.
Unfortunately that meant a last ditch effort to stop Yeonjun in her tracks was going to be difficult. No more impulsive online orders or trips to TJ Maxx. She had to work with what her mama gave her. Or… other free resources. Her original plan of driving across town to Yeonjun's apartment and surprising her with almost a week's worth of homemade food—that, when you took the first letter of the dishes, spelled out 'DATE ME'—was scrapped. The mileage of her car was approaching a number she wished was in her bank account instead. And she couldn't quite manage the dakgalbi. 'ATE ME' wasn't exactly what she wanted to convey.
Perhaps she could travel by foot to really prove her devotion? Maybe an abridged version of the confession? Something like 'ILY'? She could probably figure out how to make yangnyeom chicken. Forget about it. She had only been walking for two minutes before a stitch lodged itself under her ribs and a cramp tore up her right ass cheek.
Back to the drawing board it was.
When she rocked up to the house, all of the lights were off. Either Soobin was safe from confrontation, or a wellness check was overdue. Or maybe it was a secret third thing? Goosebumps started prickling up the back of her neck. She tried to be rational. This wasn't a trap because no one knew she was coming. But there very well could've been something programmed into the ring camera. Pushing open the gate that had a 'Beware of Dog' sign looped around the posts, Soobin held her breath.
It was probably safest to just leave the box at the front door with a note. She didn't have a pen so she pulled out the cleaning spray for her glasses and crouched down, hoping she could convey her message via spritz directly on cardboard. Something vaguely resembling an 'F' had started to form when there was a sharp poke at her heel.
"Fuck!" It was her favourite ankle-biter. "Winnie, you scared me, jesus. What've you got there?" Winifred was circling around her with a branch in her mouth, trying to get Soobin to play. On closer inspection, the branch was all leafage with tiny berries. It would be a challenge to play fetch with, and those berries were probably toxic. Only once she had taken it out of the dog's mouth did she realise what it was.
Juniper.
Of course. The answer to winning back her best friend had been right in front of her the entire time. She slid it into her back pocket.
"Winifred, you beautiful girl." Soobin cooed as she smoothed down the fur between the dog's ears. Winnie stared up at her, or past her? She couldn't really tell. Her heart churned for a quick moment. All she could do was pray that this dog received only the most love and care for the few years she had left. "Make sure your mum gets these scissors, okay? I'm off to save the best thing that's ever happened to me. Wait. You're an ally right? Cool with the lesbians?" Winifred let out a bark that threw her whole tiny body back before folding in on herself to chew on her toes. "I knew I could trust you."
On the way back home, she made a mental list of everything she would need to make the plan happen. It'd be hard with her restrictions. This would be her last DIY and last chance.
But now her heart was in it. Now she had the key.
𓆱
"You better not be peeking." Soobin said, hands trembling as she guided her best friend down the hall. She was internally freaking out. Sitting on her bed was the smallest DIY to date. It was also the one that actually meant something and wasn't just a way to spike Yeonjun's blood pressure.
In thirty seconds, Yeonjun was going to be in her bedroom and she would see it sitting there. Then she would have to give Soobin an answer to her burning, unspoken question. And that would be it. Either the start or the end of something.
"Soobin, there are five layers of fabric wound around my head, and I think one of the layers is your triple lined thermal socks. I couldn't even if I wanted to." Yeonjun raked her hands along the wall, leaving a trail where her fingertips had been. Soobin winced. She really should have sugar soaped the place. "And, no offence, but I want to. You're freaking me out. Especially after last time."
"I promise it's nothing permanent. Technically." Soobin had the shoulders of Yeonjun's cardigan bunched in her hands as she guided her to turn a corner. Twenty seconds.
"Don't even joke right now."
"It's going to be fine." But was it?
"Is this the door to your bedroom? What do you have in mind crazy girl?" Yeonjun reached around to grab at her. Soobin could only hope Yeonjun couldn't feel the way her skin was burning up. Ten seconds.
Standing in the doorway, she fussed with the fabric over Yeonjun's eyes, pulling them off to reveal the photo frame she had slaved over for a week. Inside of it was a photo of Yeonjun that Soobin had taken at her graduation, eyes bright and looking straight past the camera at her. It was Soobin's absolute favourite.
"Oh, Soobin." Yeonjun moved to pick it up. Holding it like it was fragile. Precious. "Did you make this?"
"Yeah, it's fine if you don't like it." Like me. "You can be honest."
Yeonjun didn't reply—Soobin could barely breathe as she struggled to gauge any sort of reaction on her face—instead she asked, "Healing?" Curious fingers skimming over the text Soobin had engraved.
“Uh it’s made of juniper wood which is said to have healing properties so I etched that in, the E’s a little wonky though so just ignore that." She explained, eyes flickering to the corner of the room so she didn't have to see Yeonjun rolling her eyes at the corniness. Which is why Soobin didn't see her step closer. With a hand anxiously palming at her neck, she went on, "And no one heals me like you do, so I put my favourite photo of you in the—“ She was cut off, body forcefully tugged forward by her neckline. For a second she didn’t realise what had hit her on the mouth, but at the gentle slide of it she realised it was Yeonjun’s mouth. She was kissing her. Holy fuck.
Before Soobin could reciprocate, Yeonjun pulled back, just slightly. “I love it. I love you.”
Soobin's knees went weak, arms now wound around Yeonjun so she wouldn't fall. “And that’s ‘I love you' as in–”
“I want to be with you. Forever. Whether our home is eighty years old and falling apart, or part of a gated community, or just big enough for the both of us. All I need is you in it.” And then Yeonjun was moving for her again, but she was ready, closing the gap lick over her bottom lip.
Soobin let herself fall back onto the bed, pulling Yeonjun down with her. She took a tender moment to look into her eyes. How did this perfect person reciprocate her feelings? It didn't feel possible, but it did feel right when she tugged her down to leave another long, desperate kiss against her lips.
Yeonjun had managed to shimmy her way on top of her when Soobin felt keys slip into her hand. She sat up, wide-eyed to look at Yeonjun, who was wearing a cheeky smile. No words were exchanged, but Soobin knew exactly what she was asking. Oh my god, it was like when two lesbians proposed to each other at the same time. Now she understood the humour in it. Her case was particularly funny since she had thought Yeonjun was building a life without her, all the while she was picturing Soobin in it. The relief and sentimentality of it all caught up with her, manifesting itself as ugly sobs against Yeonjun's shoulder.
“What do you say we do all of this makeover stuff one more time? In our own place?”
“Where? How? What about your job?”
“It's just outside of the city, so I'll be fine getting to work, and if we split rent, you'll be paying less than you do here. I got lucky. But it's up to you if you want to go through with it.”
"Jun, you're kidding right? Immediately yes, yes every time. This is all I've wanted. It's why I—" Woah, hold it partner. Was she about to spill the truth? Well, trust was the foundation of a healthy relationship, and now that they were in one—pinch her—there was no time like the present. "It's why I kind of traumatised you with all of my shitty DIYs, I wanted an excuse to see you more. Well, except the first one. Unfortunately that was completely sincere."
Yeonjun swept her up in her arms, cradling her side to side. She liked it here. "Baby, all you had to do was say the word. I would travel worlds for you. Actually, I was worried I was overstepping by undoing all of your work. It's just habit, you know?"
"Jesus christ, we are stupid." Soobin breathed out, leaving a peck on Yeonjun's cheek. "Good thing we have two neurons between us now."
"It'll make packing so much easier. Shall we get to it?"
𓆱
This was better than the lesbian U-Haul experience Soobin had been dreaming of. Her clothes and PC were still mingling in the back of one, but this time Yeonjun was next to her in the passenger’s seat. Thigh warm and real beneath Soobin’s palm. They were on their way to pick up where they had left off.
They thought the most appropriate course of action to celebrate their new place was to throw a housewarming party—just the two of them—with a table cloth thrown over their moving boxes and dressed with Soobin's peach bellini candle and a couple of plastic champagne glasses.
And they couldn't forget about the housewarming gifts.
"You know, with all of the vegan dishes you've been experimenting with, I thought I'd get you a little something to commemorate that." Yeonjun handed over the wrapped box with deliciously crisp edges and a little bow. Why did she have to be perfect full time? Life was so unfair. After lifting off the inner lid, Soobin pulled out a sweet linen apron. Seems her housewife duties started today. She flipped it over only for the words 'WHO UP CREAMING THEIR MUSHROOM?' to be staring back at her. "Dairy-free creaming, though."
Soobin screamed, almost taking out their makeshift table as she jumped up to hang it loosely around her neck. After all, there was only one person that had the honour of tying her into it. "I love it! This is gonna go perfect with my rotisserie chicken shirt. Thanks, baby."
Yeonjun looked at her blankly. "You worry me sometimes."
"What? I can be vegan plus chicken. That never hurt nobody." Soobin pouted before scuttling off to the kitchen. "Anyway, time for your present."
Soobin's gift to Yeonjun was harder to wrap, so she retrieved it from where it had been hiding in their brand new (powered off) fridge, wearing its own little bow.
"I bestow upon you your very own grabber so you can rescue socks from the agitator yourself." Soobin announced, tapping the thing on both of Yeonjun's shoulders.
"You're such a dork." Yeonjun yanked on the end of the grabber to pull her down for a kiss. “You didn’t think I made you get them because you were tall, right?”
“You didn't? That's kind of my only asset.”
Yeonjun scoffed. “Soobin. I was trying to get my hands on that ass.”
Oh, her other asset.
“Why are you like this?” Soobin sulked, hands protectively covering her butt.
"Because you mean the most to me. Every single part of you." Yeonjun whispered and Soobin melted, practically liquid as she flopped onto the floor. "But especially your ass."
Soobin swatted at Yeonjun who had appeared over her, but in two seconds flat her arm was pinned behind her back. Grabber taking a nip of her butt. Ugh, who brings that to a gun fight? So unfair. "Okay, okay. You win."
Yeonjun got off of her, satisfied, to go put the grabber on display on top of their mantle. She sat it right next to the juniper photo frame which was now hosting a photo of the two of them taken in their new front yard. And just below that was the original branch of juniper, preserved so it'll last forever.
A sentiment that spread throughout every aspect of Soobin's life now.
That night saw them re-watching Bottoms and recounting their work days until they got inevitably distracted from both by making out instead. Girlfriend privileges. And when the night got late, she didn't have to worry about Yeonjun leaving anymore.
Because atop the mantle, and all bundled in her lap was all she ever needed.
A little juniper, a little healing.