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“What's your favourite colour?”
A random question that's for sure. One Mephone expected the least. 3GS could've asked anything. Anything at all. It wasn't like they did much else but talk.
If they weren't talking, it was quiet. Eerie silence that made the pit in Mephone’s stomach swirl sometimes.
“... What?”
His voice breaking as he asked, turning around to face the other. 3GS’s smile was unwavering. Really, to Mephone it made no sense. What was there to smile about? Not very much. This… Building, they were in (if you could even call it that) was basically just a glorified garage attached to some old workshop that he guessed was abandoned. Mephone wouldn't say it was luxurious.
All they did was stick some plastic stars Mephone stole to the walls, placed a couple blankets down, and called it a day.
So there wasn't much to smile about, no. Not today anyway.
“Your favourite colour!” 3GS blinked, tilting his head and scratching the back of his neck.
“...You always mention how… We don't seem to know each other very well!” He reasoned, crossing his legs in the heap of blankets he sat in.
The bare floor was uncomfortable, compared to that pile over there, but over in the corner he sat in was a better contemplative spot anyway.
Didn't know each other that well? Not at all. I barely even remember meeting you. Things were going from bad to worse to awesome to awful in milliseconds. Far too jumbled up to focus on you then.
“--So… I was thinking, we could just… Learn!”
Watching that smile on his face made Mephone shiver. Something uncomfortable made him itch for solitude. People don't normally look at him like that. If they dared to look at him at all, it usually consisted of mean scowls and glares. He wondered how long it’d take for 3GS to wind up the same. Hating him, or gone. In some way or another.
“... Learn, huh?”
A low mumble, one he almost didn't want 3GS to acknowledge.
3GS probably just didn't really understand the gravity of risk it was, learning about Mephone. It really has never once gone well. He may as well be jumping in front of oncoming traffic. It was almost infuriating, seeing how satisfied 3GS seemed to be with this new… ‘Life,’ if you could even call this such a thing.
That was wrong to think. 3GS spent over ten years in a dusty, dark, cold closet. With no company other than the mice, he’d put it. Of course he's going to be happier with this.
“I feel I really enjoy… neutral colours. I’m particularly growing quite fond of beige! I believe it’s … Relaxing on the eyes. Would you agree?”
His pixelated smile flashed again, while Mephone sighed. Bringing his knees up to his chest, to try to bury the discomfort nagging at his shoulders– he answered the question.
“I don't know. I’ve always– well… Blue.”
3GS seemed to tilt his head, a gesture of obvious confusion. Almost silently asking him what exactly he meant. To elaborate. That’s what 3GS did. Nearly every cue was a body language one. That in itself made Mephone nervous. Not to mention trying to keep it down. Making sure he doesn't disturb him in his sleep, because when that happens he has those episodes he labels 'involuntary reactions.’ It was like walking on eggshells around this place.
But hey, it wasn't much different elsewhere. That was all his fault though. Not 3GS’s.
No, no, not 3GS’s. All he's done ever since showing up that day was lend his hand and be kind. To someone that doesn't even deserve it. He deserved the worst in the world, and yet 3GS still chose to stick to his side instead of letting himself heal in a community that definitely would've accepted him.
Mephone glanced downward, lifting his hands.
Shame on you. This guy has done nothing but be sweet after all he’s been through and here you are, milking it and still being a jerk. So what if he can't hear your thoughts? You still formed them. Asshole. Stupid piece of shit.
“I– I like the colour blue, alright? I mean– that makes sense. I’ve… Always dressed in blue, I have blue in my hair, I– Inanimate Insanity’s logo was mainly blue… I’m blue, really so–,” Mephone paused, squinting and raising an eyebrow.
“Was it not …. obvious?”
3GS looked away, to the side. Like he was thinking something super important. Like he was trying to find a way to beat around the bush when it came to the thought he wanted to express. Sometimes, to Mephone, talking to 3GS made him feel like some kind of supervillain. He wasn't an idiot. A lot of things, sure, but he never missed the way 3GS looked at him the way he'd look at…
Like at any moment, Mephone would just blow up, lock him here, and disappear.
“... Sorry.”
A statement Mephone forced up, one of the many words trapped inside of the lump in his throat that never disappeared.
“-- That sounded a bit… Ugh. Whatever. I like blue, you like… Beige. Any other stellar questions?”
3GS clapped his hands gently, and started digging around in the blanket pile. Mephone couldn't help but just… Stare in confusion, until he saw 3GS pull out a black notebook and a broken old pencil. When it came to supplies they were never really the luckiest, but wow it seemed even sadder watching someone else using it.
That notebook was supposed to be his. The pencil was broken because of him, too, just like everything and everyone else in his life.
The pencil felt too heavy in his hand, though. Like if he dared to even press it on the page for a single dot, he’d doom the universe.
He threw it 3GS’s way. At least then 3GS wouldn't have to use his screen to write. The constant tapping at four AM made Mephone want to drive his head into a wall–
What’s wrong with you? 3GS is using his good ‘coping mechanisms,’ and you're annoyed because of some tapping? Jerk.
“I wrote down some of the things I wanted to know about you last night! With some stuff about me, too. Maybe… It will make for some commendable conversation. After all… The…”
3GS trailed off, pixelated black rectangles shooting from left to right.
“Silence can sometimes feel… Scary.”
It wasn't really like he could say no. Even if he really, really, really, really wanted to. Apparently that's what he’d been writing all night, then. Questions and answers.
… Mephone always imagined if he were ever present at any kind of ‘Q and A,’ it'd be at a brighter place. Maybe at a long table, with a crowd in front of him, shooting question after question about the show. Wanting to know all about how he made it. The ideas. Everything.
Not… In some … rotten old garage, with a mangled face, with a groundbreaking audience member of one. One who didn't really know what he was doing, asking Mephone questions. The surface level was bad enough, why would anyone want more than that?
It was baffling. Though it wasn't like there was any escaping. As much as he hated it sometimes, he was confined to this space. This… Guy, that called him brother, and sure– it made sense, but Mephone still wasn't sure…
What he’d call 3GS. Acquaintance wasn't right, Mephone knew they were past that stuff. ‘Friend’ seemed too casual. ‘Family’ was a bit…
Or maybe it was just a desperate attempt at protecting 3GS from the fate that befalls anyone brave enough to call themselves such a thing.
“... Okay, whatever. What's your next question?” Mephone rasped, no matter how tense he felt at the thought of getting interrogated. Not exactly what he had in mind for today, however that didn't ever really matter anymore. Plans were pretty useless. They never worked out and Mephone was never spectacular at creating them anyway. Technicalities were always left to….
Ugh. Whatever, whatever, it didn't matter. He’d answer these questions with… Complete honesty. Definitely.
“Alright! Well… Are you… Let me see,” 3GS looked down at the notebook in his lap, and then back up again. “A morning person, or a… ‘Night owl,’ as I heard it was phrased? If I were to pick… Hmmm…”
He tapped his chin, drumming metal fingers on his leg as fast as they could move. (Which, unfortunately, didn't seem to be very fast anymore in 3GS’s case.)
“I rather the morning. I have learned that… It is utmost pleasant seeing the birds flying overhead while the sun is rising. Daylight is… Comforting. Perhaps it's so nice to see because–...”
3GS paused, taking his gaze elsewhere for a moment.
Mephone turned his head, but before he could get a word in 3GS snapped right back up.
“It matters not! The sun shining is an undeniably pleasant thing to see. How do you feel about it?”
Mephone could grasp why 3GS would value the sun. In Mephone’s eyes, each new day just felt like a reminder of sorts. Teasing him. When the sun rose past the trees and over the buildings, beaming into his eyes, all it did was remind him. That it was a new day, and he still had to keep going. For days, and days, and days.
“Uh…”
Nighttime was quiet. Crickets chirped in his ears sometimes. The moonlight was always pale and dim, better than that of the blinding sun. Night also came with caution, though. You couldn't see that well in the darkness, anyone could be watching. It's quiet, which can be calm, but usually it's too quiet. Sleeping came with nightmares, and screams, from either one of them.
Laying on the cold ground made him ache, even if he was made of metal. 3GS could keep the blanket pile. It wasn't like he gave the contestants blankets. Back then, to Mephone, blankets were a luxury. Not necessary. Neither were beds. Or really any kind of soft surface for resting.
Daytime used to be filled with laughter. Echoes of it, through the fields, or wherever they happened to be filming that day. Hard work, but good work, because Inanimate Insanity was his. (Until it wasn't, and then he had to realize Inanimate Insanity may as well have been another task he was performing for Cobs. Even if it was to spite him, it was still for him. That didn't matter anyway, considering, well– he was just this close to being onscreen himself.)
Sunrises and sunsets weren't enjoyable to watch. Not anymore. When he’d spend too long watching white clouds dye themselves orange as they dipped below that big hot star, he’d start to see a figure in his peripheral. Ready to strike, a walking commercial. Close to stabbing him with something so ridiculous it was almost like an advertisement itself.
Then he’d see the shattered and battered screen of the one person that dealt with his attitude for longer than anyone else, smoking and sparking. Empty. Forever. Barren, just like how the fields were.
“.... I’m sorry uh… I don't… Really know. Good for you, though. I guess sunshine can be nice sometimes.”
So much for complete honesty. Stupid, stupid idiot.
“I’m glad we seem to agree!” 3GS acknowledged, his eyes seemingly scanning the page from the notebook in his hand, using his finger to follow what he wrote word for word.
“Hmm… Oh! This is a common one I hear people ask each other all of the time,” he announced, leaning forward. “Dogs, or– cats?”
Huh.
Mephone scooted down, sighing. Switching from sitting to laying on the ground. This one wasn't awful at least. Not personal either. It was just about… Pet preferences. Animals, and stuff. That was basic. He could live with this.
“Uh… Well… I guess cats? I mean, don't get me wrong, they scratch you and have an attitude and stuff but, hey, at least they value personal space. They don't need all that much attention either. Dogs are… Sloppy and too hyperactive. I mean I don't…” Mephone swallowed, “Not like I think I’d be all that fantastic at taking care of any pet but… Cats would be easier, probably. They're quieter too. Barking is so annoying sometimes.”
That made sense. There was zero reason to think any deeper than that. Animals were just animals. That’s all.
3GS tapped his screen where his chin would be, bits forming back into a polite smile. “I’d have to agree! I… Do enjoy the… Positive energy I’ve seen from dogs, however. They're so excited and joyful. However… Similarly to you, I think I would have to do more research on these animals if I were to ever accompany one.”
All Mephone could do was.. nod. It wasn't like 3GS was doing or saying anything bad. It made Mephone feel disgusted with himself, for feeling nothing but boredom and frustration, even though his– even though 3GS was trying so hard to make him feel less of that.
Stupid piece of shit, you really really suck. Knowing you're a stupid piece of shit doesn't make you any better than the people that don't know they're being stupid pieces of shit. Stop bringing down the mood for just two seconds, would you?
He nodded at 3GS’s words, which seemed to blur into the murky depths of his mind along with everything else.
I would kill for something to drink right now, I’m absolutely parched. Parched as a robot can be.
That would be a bad choice. That would probably ruin 3GS’s whole … Afternoon - evening - night, whatever time it was.
He’d spent so long coming up with those questions, probably, and he’d be a real jerk if he pushed it to the side to make himself feel better for the night. Less empty. Less caged.
Just like a pet would be. In a cage.
“Mephone? Are you… Listening, brother? Oh, Are you feeling okay? You aren't going to…–,” 3GS seemed to cringe, probably the most emotional expression he could even make with pixels for a face. Gesturing towards him a certain motion.
Mephone pulled himself off of the ground, running a hand through knotted hair, another arm hugging his stomach. “No, 3GS, I’m not gonna throw up. Sorry. Just… Thinking. I’m not–,” Mephone made sure he turned to face him completely, his 8-bit frown displaying more empathy than Mephone ever had in his entire life. (Funny enough, Mephone was supposed to be the more human one.)
“I’m not ignoring you or anything I– I swear! I just…”
Mephone felt a hot flush surge through his whole body, and the air felt almost spikey.
3GS had seemed so worried. He remembered the time when he actually had thrown up, the first time in front of 3GS. He’d just had too much to drink and it simply overloaded his systems. After all, the artificial stomach that Cobs gave him (for some reason) could only take so much ethanol. 3GS thought he was dying. Then he started glitching out, and thought he was going to die, too.
It was a huge mess that only resulted in 3GS panicking the whole night, having to sleep on Mephone’s lap even though there were still nasty stains of oil and whatever dirt he consumed. He gripped onto his arm so tight, the next morning, Mephone saw he dented the metal.
Which is why he couldn't really stand when 3GS would smile at him. He didn't deserve it. He made 3GS feel that way. He was already poisoned, like everyone else, and he still refused to walk away. Even though Mephone knew that the contestants would take him. Sure, there was the… Uh, 3GS called them ‘Phenomse,’ or something, and all of that but… Mephone was fairly certain they wouldn't hold him to the same standard as himself.
(Mephone thought that the eggs looked like easter eggs. He voiced that at some point and 3GS called him offensive and arrogant for it.)
“Are you… Thinking about… Him? Or… Up there, again?” 3GS inquired, tilting his head.
Mephone looked at him with empty eyes, watching him as he patted the soft surface next to him. Against the wall. An invitation.
Invitation. Invitational. Like, season three. Like Inanimate Insanity season three.
It was more like his body went auto pilot and moved on its own to the spot right beside 3GS, his vision blotchy. Like coffee spilled on a page filled with the finest print. Like paint on a fresh canvas. Like the rainwater against a cobalt blue cave and its crystals. Like jet black oil on grass. Like the splash of something hurdling into thick lava. Like looking outside windows upon windows of thick, thick glass at pink clouds that seemed to be untouchable, through eyes pooling up with tears. Like– Like–
A hand on his shoulder. Heavy. Firm. Not evil, though.
Cobs would never. Cobs had hands make for destruction, which was so so ironic considering how much he loved to create, how he had to curse the world with MePhone4, how he had to curse him with sentience, and how he cursed him with feelings and thoughts, how he molded him into such a detestable monster he was doomed to end up alone. Alone, so alone. So alone. So alone. So alone. They were all gone, gone, gone, gone, because of him, because of the horrible things he’d done– it— was it his fault? He didn't know. Normal. That's what it– was, he thought. He–
It wasn't normal. Never was. Hate, hate, hate.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Inanimate Insanity wasn't supposed to be bad. It was supposed to– smiles, smiles, they were supposed to – they–....
A sharp pain struck his chest, the world around him blurring into unrecognisable shapes. Sweat just as artificial as the rest of him, smothering him further. Gasping for breaths he couldn't hold in, his hands trembled.
Too late. Too late. Forever is over, no place for you. Mepad hates you. Cobs hated you. 4S hated you. They hate you. 3GS will. 3GS?
No time for TV. Move, move, move. No time for drawing, fun, joy, move your feet and stop being so useless. Contribute, contribute, contribute. The future is already yesterday, catch up, MePhone4.
You can't do this forever because forever doesn't last forever and he always comes back and what's stopping him from finding some way back to this plain and finishing what he started what's really stopping him considering nothing ever seemed to before and it– and—
Inanimate Insanity was – It was– Was…
Keep running. That’s all you're good for.
Run away.
……
…
“Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Hello? Are you back yet?”
3GS frowned, leg bouncing furiously. Another one of those reactions. Four’s seemed worse than his own. He would disappear, and then start gasping for air. Like when a person can't breathe. 3GS did not enjoy the look in his eyes when he would have these reactions. It was like staring through something translucent.
3GS did not want to be alone again. It was unpleasant when Four would disappear.
“... Th…”
Four’s bottom lip wobbled. Seeing his reflection in his eyes, and watching saline drip down scarred cheeks wasn't an expression he enjoyed seeing on Four. Nonetheless, it was always better than when he disappeared.
“3GS?”
“Yes.”
Four seemed to glance around at his surroundings. As if he were scanning for threats, or danger. His shoulders seemed to drop when he couldn't find any.
“I’m sorry. I don't know why…”
“Is it because I mentioned him? I was just curious. I’m sorry, Four. I wish not to cause you distress I–... That's the last thing I’d ever want, you know that right?”
His brother nodded. His body still trembled, like he was cold, but 3GS was glad that it did not seem to last as long as usual.
The pair of them are fragile machines. They're running on lost time. It could be tonight, or tomorrow. Or next week. 3GS could feel relief however, that it wasn't now.
He couldn't do ‘now’.
“Y’didn’t do anything, 3GS. My own thoughts. Stop blaming yourself. N’ no, I’m not gonna leave. S’ fine.”
“I postulate a theory from your previous state that you are at a subpar level of–,”
Four buried his face in his knees, shooing 3GS away with a hand.
“Do you guys always need to speak in tongues–? Am… Am I the only one that can't quote… What, the fucking... Founding fathers? Why did he make me like this…” Four groaned, although it was muffled, 3GS could understand he was angry, in the present moment. He couldn't help but wish they were back talking about times of day and cute animals.
He’d rather not ponder about the comings of the past.
“I mean– uhm…” Four coughed into his hand, wiping his eyes with little effort, turning back to 3GS. A strained and painful grin on his face.
3GS was not naive. He knew that Four had many troubles. It was very evident, of course. Although that didn't mean that…
It – was very complicated. 3GS had missed a lot of events and didn't want to do anything to upset him further. He’d heard Four had a tendency to get angry, and irrational. The last time somebody in his presence had gotten angry and irrational, he thought it was the very end of the line. He had been filled with so much rage and fury, extinguishing the fire in his eyes with pleads of all sorts became an impossible task.
It was the very end of the line, until Four had managed to open the door. Then, he scared him away. It was then after those kind researchers–
No. They weren't, were they? That was Knife and Suitcase. Finalists on Four’s television programme. He had a deep attachment to that programme. 3GS would never dare open his mouth about it, but Four would cry in his sleep about it quite often. Quite loudly.
“It’s fine, it’s fine. Y–you know how it is, those stupid reactions huh? But I’m– it’s fine now. Hey– uhm…” Four rose to his feet, separating from 3GS and patting his shoulder.
“I’m gonna… Be back, okay? I promise I’m not leaving forever I just need to uhm…” Mephone blinked, gulping.
“Make a quick store-run. I– I know we usually do those together but, hey! We could benefit from some– alone time, right?” He rambled, rushing into one of the room’s corners and hoisting up a backpack.
“Right. Right. Okay– Uh, you can even count!! I won't be longer than an hour, swear. You can start now!” He exclaimed, crouching under the no longer working garage door. Slipping right out.
Silence blanketed him once again. To his right, a book full of unanswered questions and expressions; and inside of his head, a fantasy in which he and Four find a real home with a lot of morning sunshine, in which every morning they'd feed a kitten and enjoy Four’s television programmes. A fantasy in which there was no longer darkness, or hopelessness.
A fantasy in which he could live.