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No one really knows how it started. It was just something the crew kept noticing. Then at one point they started keeping a list of concepts Luffy didn’t know or understood.
Just the basic things, like struggling with directions— a trait he annoyingly shared with Zoro. The internal compass in him just didn’t function as should.
The group chucked it up to being just part of his callousness and rather easy going personality. He didn’t seem to care about it and it was fun to tease him slightly with it. But the longer it went on the longer the list became. Starting to raise a collective concern.
Nami had noted he didn’t know how to tie his shoes for example. The slippers were a preferred foot wear choice of Luffy, but also worn out of necessity.
The few times they’d have to wear more formal outfits, Nami had to help him tie up his shoes. He’d hop and sit in front of her as she had to keep him still so as to not swing his legs around. Any attempt at teaching him was rather useless as he seemed to forget just as easily.
Additionally she was unsure he knew how to read. Not that he was fully illiterate— but having paid attention— it seemed more like he recognised basic words and came to conclusions based on that. Any proper reading was something he’d shrug off as boring.
His social awareness was perceived as aloofness. He was unable to understand basic social que’s. Would walk away in the middle of dinner. And similar displays of not having been taught proper etiquette or seemingly not caring. At times even standing straight up on the table to announce something.
It was not that these things were bad to any of the crew members. They’d all chosen to sail with him and this was just how Luffy was. Nami would begrudgingly explain to him how to tie his shoes every day if she had to. But that being said there were some eyebrows raised and questions asked about Luffy’s upbringing every time the list got a new addition.
“He’s raised by wolves.” Usopp said with a confident certainty.
Vivi hesitated to pipe up, watching the crew as they added another thing to the list. “Well, many islands have different cultures. I don’t think we can judge how he was raised.” She said politely.
Nami passed the conversation to Zoro. “You were here the longest, has Luffy mentioned family to you?”
Zoro shrugged. “Never.”
“Raised by wolves.” Usopp confirmed to himself with a nod.
“Well you said he sort of knows how to cook right? He must’ve been taught by someone.” Sanji suggested looking at Nami.
She shook her head in response. Thinking back to the first days on the crew and the meals she had to eat with a slight shiver. “Cook is a big word. He roasted meat over a campfire before you joined, which was edible but at this point we could suggest ‘doesn’t know how to turn a stove on’ onto the list.”
Nami considered it. She hadn’t had the best upbringing either, and it could’ve been possible that Luffy’s family was simply too poor to afford the luxury of a stove. “Maybe Vivi’s right and is it just a cultural thing?”
The list continued as they traveled.
Zoro wrote down ‘ - No concept of stranger danger.’ After an encounter on Jaya almost had Luffy eat an apple that could’ve quite literally exploded in his face. Which he seemed rather unbothered by at the time.
Chopper added ‘ - Doesn’t know what being sick is, or how to rest up while having a fever.’ Coming from Chopper's increasing concern after having to almost tie Luffy down to a bed. As to keep him from wandering while sick.
All the while Luffy insisted he was fine as Chopper yelled at him showing him the temperature meter. Forcing medicine into his mouth and screaming some more about proper hydration
Chopper had asked him how he handled sick days as a kid. Luffy simply responded with “I’ve never been sick.” Which just couldn’t be true.
—
“I didn’t even think I had a dad.”
A collective shock wave of confusion erupted through the group as they realized what he had just said.
They had finally met the answer to a lot of their questions. The man Luffy introduced as his grandpa: Monkey D Garp.
Only for the man to bring even more with him. Being just as odd as his grandkid. He casually and clearly accidentally revealed Luffy’s dad being the most dangerous criminal in the world. The revolutionary known as Dragon.
But more pressing to the crew, their captain had never even considered he had a dad.
“Luffy, do you not know what grandpa means?” Robin asked rather politely, without any judgement in the way she said it.
“Means He's my family, and an old man.” Luffy responded. Pressing his arms over eachother as he stuck out his tongue to Garp.
Robin giggled and just nodded seeing nothing wrong with that statement at all.
—
So the crew wrote down ‘ - Doesn’t know the basic family structure, or the meaning behind words like grandpa.’
Then hesitantly they added ‘ - Doesn’t know where babies come from.’
“Is this something we should explain to him?” Chopper asked, being met with a rather long pause in the group.
It was something he should know, albeit just to be safe. Then again the idea of Luffy having any interest in sex felt wrong. While he was a very physically affectionate person, he loved more in a platonic way.
Still everyone just silently stared at each other not wanting to think about it too long. They came to the conclusion Luffy should know. If he didn’t get it then that was okay. But in the name of basic education, Luffy should know where babies came from.
Sanji spoke up in between the awkward air. “How would you even start?”
“By asking him what he knows and working from there?” Robin suggested.
The other details in the conversation they’d figure out as they went.
—
They definitely should’ve planned this better.
One thing led to another and now they were all sitting around the lunch table in the Sunny, eating the sandwiches that Sanji had made. As suddenly Luffy was being questioned about his knowledge on pregnancy and babies.
Luffy nodded his head with a face full of food and then confidently answered. “They grow out of a peach.”
Silence fell over the room again.
"According to who?” Sanji asked a bit unsure how to respond beyond that.
“-Tis what grandpa used to always say.” He shrugged.
It did make sense that Garp had never taken the time to explain this to Luffy, in general the old man didn’t seem big on education. Neither did it seem like Luffy would’ve ever asked about it. This now having been the reality he had accepted all his life.
Nami mumbled into her hand. “Wel the vice admiral isn’t the smartest person.”
This did get a slight reaction out of Luffy who up until this moment hadn’t really noted the group's confusion. “Are you saying babies don’t grow out of peaches?”
Having sort of prepared himself Chopper had some drawings ready of the female anatomy and pulled them up. Pointing towards the womb. “Baby’s grow inside of a belly, not a peach.”
This just made Luffy confused, tilting his head. “So, I can grow a baby inside my belly?”
“No you can’t.” Zoro answered.
“Why not?” Luffy said with a pout.
“You are a guy.” Zoro took a sip from his sake, not feeling like this conversation should be his business anyway.
Chopper again tried to point Luffy’s attention to the material he prepared to explain, but was unable to get Luffy to look at it. “You would need a womb. Only biological females have a womb.”
Only by the principle that he was being told he couldn’t, it now became a thing Luffy had put into his head as something he wanted. “That seems unfair, why only women?”
Nami put her face in her hands with a slight groan. This was definitely going to be more difficult than assumed. “That’s just biology. In most cases the man gets the woman pregnant.”
“How?”
The air around the table became slightly awkward. Everyone is debating what would be the best approach. Tact wasn't on the table however as Franky already started up.
“Wel you see when a man and a woman love each other very much-“
Brook interjected and finished off the sentence. “-They have sex.” He said it weirdly ominously.
Trying to stop Brook from elaborating Usopp yelped and jumped up to shut his mouth. “I don’t wanna be going that far!”
“That’s what she said, Yohohoho!” Usopp tried to shush Brook even further as he laughed and said “sex joke!” In his usual ‘skull joke’ tone.
Sanji lit a cigarette and readied himself for his own kind of explanation. “As someone who has much experience in this field I’ll explain.” He proclaimed proudly. “Woman’s bodies are like a garden and if they allow a man to enter he can bring his own seed as a gift-“
Nami hit Sanji over the head, granting a shriek from the cook and he rubbed his head. “There’s no way you entered any ‘gardens.’” Nami said begrudgingly.
While chaos erupted, Robin was sitting in the back enjoying the show. With a grin on her face she took a sip of her tea, not feeling any need to meddle in the conversation beyond viewing it from afar.
Watching the group as well was now Luffy, slightly confused. He put his hands over each other and pouted. “I don’t see what’s gotten everyone so riled up.”
Robin turned to him with a fond smile. “They’re just being a bit childish.”
“And not great at explaining.” Luffy said with a humph.
“So you know how beetles reproduce, right?” Robin asked him.
Luffy nodded. “The boy beetle gets on top of the girl beetle and then after the girl lays eggs.”
“With humans it’s the same but instead the girl keeps the egg inside her belly because it’s safer inside.” Robin explained.
This seemed to make sense to Luffy. “Oh that’s what Chopper meant!” He laughed brightly. “I thought he meant like a plant growing inside of someone’s stomach.”
Luffy then proceeded to eat his food letting the group go about their weird discussion, feeling satisfied with the answer he had gotten.
It took a while for the whole group to stop arguing over how to best describe the process of sex without getting too graphic about it. All of them turning towards Luffy and Robin and realizing Robin had already achieved their goal, without much issue.
As Luffy— unbothered by the whole ordeal walked to the fridge grabbing some more food for himself— Usopp whispered to Robin. “You actually got him to understand?”
“Like it’s hard?” Robin said with a smug smile.