Archive of Our Own ^beta

SHIVERS - Wind from the east blows off the coast in cold bursts. Seagulls shriek in the distance, flying over the rocks emerging from the water. The sea is dark and bottomless. Somewhere past the horizon, the substanceless pale awaits.

INLAND EMPIRE - Running up the coast to find Ruby was more than about catching a suspect. You needed space from the irritating hum of noises around the Whirling-in-Rags, judgmental looks and words that didn’t make sense.

SHIVERS - Out here, there is just the elysium: the wind, the earth beneath your feet, the endless sea. Interlinked and vast.

VOLITION - And the lieutenant.

YOU - You glance over your shoulder.

KIM KITSURAGI - As always, Kim is following several paces behind.

EMPATHY - It would feel empty without him here.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - A boardwalk emerges past the corrugated metal shacks and abandoned buildings built on wooden stilts. Its railings are stained with rust.

VISUAL CALCULUS - It hadn't been used in decades.

PERCEPTION (SMELL) - A pungent smell hits you like a smack in the face. It invades your nostrils, awful and familiar.

YOU - What is this smell?

PERCEPTION (SMELL) [Medium: Failure] - That hideous pungency, faintly cloying sweetness. It’s overpoweringly familiar, but you can’t put your finger on it.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant has already brought a handkerchief to his nose.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - The boardwalk’s flooring looks rotten and weak. The boards creak beneath your weight as you step forward.

LOGIC - If you keep going, the rotting wood could give out, sending you falling metres into the sea below.

YOU - “Kim, I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He steps forward. “Why don’t I go first?”

ESPRIT DE CORPS - The boardwalk will be more able to take his significantly lower weight, he's thinking.

SUGGESTION - You should let him go first.

YOU - Isn't this whole thing a bit dangerous?

AUTHORITY - Danger quakes in your presence.

VOLITION - You have to get to the bottom of this smell, ‘danger’ or not. That's what detectives do.

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - A little warning wouldn’t go amiss. Just so Kim knows you don’t *want* to send him plummeting to his death.

YOU - “Just be careful.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He nods and steps onto the boardwalk, slow and measured.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - From here, you catch a rare glimpse of the back of Kim. His black hair is shaved at the back and sides, neat like the rest of him. The upturned collar of his orange bomber jacket protects his neck from the wind. 

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - What kind of homo cares about his hair and jacket? Look at those impressive shoulders and lean waist. He could outrun you at double speed with those legs.

YOU - It’s not just how he looks. It’s how he *is*.

COMPOSURE - We get it, Kim is so cool and smart and sophisticated. No need to drool over it.

KIM KITSURAGI - Oblivious to your thoughts, the lieutenant has made it halfway across the boardwalk. He points forwards. “I think I see something, just behind the bench at the end.”

YOU - You squint, trying to make out the shape slumped behind the bench.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - Just as your eyes lock onto a boot, a noise draws your attention. A long, low *creak*. Ancient wood just about to give way.

BOARDWALK - Weathered by decades of rain, sleet and wind without a reàl of renovation, an adult male’s weight is too much to bear.

REACTION SPEED - Shit, warn Kim before it’s too late!

YOU - “Kim, watch out!”

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - The board beneath Kim’s foot bends with a horrible *creak*. A flash of orange, arms flailing into the air.

KIM KITSURAGI - Before he can react, Kim is falling through the floorboards.

COMPOSURE - Your stomach drops as you watch him collapse through the rotted wood.

YOU - NOOOO, KIMMMMMM!!!!

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant doesn’t fall all the way through. Only one board has collapsed, allowing his upper body to cling to the wood around him. There are enough intact floorboards to stop the whole boardwalk from collapsing in on itself.

VOLITION - Phew. Good thing we didn’t overreact.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant’s noise of surprise is replaced by a sharp hiss.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Pain. Kim is in pain.

YOU - “Oh my god, Kim, are you okay?”

KIM KITSURAGI - His face has screwed up in pain, concentration, gripping the wood around him to prevent himself from falling into the sea below.

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - He is very clearly *not* okay.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - His white top is turning red around his chest, the part of him that’s level with the jagged remaining boards.

HALF LIGHT - Fuck. Kim’s bleeding. He’s going to fucking die in front of you.

SUGGESTION - Why the hell are you standing around? Go and help him.

REACTION SPEED - Wait, what if you fall through the boardwalk too?

ESPRIT DE CORPS - The lieutenant would not hesitate for a moment to consider his own safety before running over to help you.

EMPATHY - You can’t do any of this without him– the case, the memories, getting out of bed each morning.

YOU - You start running across the boardwalk. “Hold on, Kim!”

KIM KITSURAGI - Sweat has begun to break out on the lieutenant’s forehead as his nails burrow into the soft wood. “What does it look like I’m doing?” he manages to get out.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He does not look assured by your arrival.

YOU - How am I supposed to pull Kim out of here?

ENCYCLOPEDIA - A larger surface area creates lower pressure on a surface. Lying on your stomach will distribute your weight more evenly across multiple boards, reducing the likelihood of breakage.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - That’s why the thinnest needles are always the best, party boy.

YOU - With as much care as your lumbering body can manage, you kneel down and get onto your stomach. The wet boards press against your chest, shockingly cold against your overheated body.

You hold out your arms towards Kim. “Grab onto me.”

KIM KITSURAGI - The perspiration on his forehead has formed into beads of sweat with the exertion of holding his entire body weight up by his forearms.

PERCEPTION (SMELL) - The faint copper scent of blood comes from Kim’s chest.

VOLITION - Once you get him off the boardwalk, he’s going to need serious medical attention.

KIM KITSURAGI - He stares at your outstretched arms, making a valiant effort not to make a pained grunt. With great effort, he lifts one of his hands off the plank and grabs onto you. His fingers clench around the fabric of your jacket.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Your heart thuds sickeningly fast.

YOU - “Come on, Kim. Just grab onto my other hand and I’ll pull you out of here.”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant’s eyebrows furrow in concentration. Motivated by not wanting this to be the way his life ends, he lifts his other arm. His fingers squeeze around your other wrist. He grunts as his chest presses against the board’s jagged edge.

REACTION SPEED - You’ve got him!

VOLITION - You can’t relax yet. You need to pull him out of there, carefully, and get you both off this death trap.

EMPATHY - Keep talking to him. People find that kind of thing reassuring.

YOU - “I’m going to pull you out now, okay?”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant’s pale face nods. “Slowly,” he utters. Strained, but he’s with you.

YOU - With Kim’s hands clutched around your wrists, you draw back onto your knees, using your body weight to hoist Kim up.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Challenging: Success] - Your body isn’t meant for this level of exertion, but failing Kim isn’t an option. Trembling arms, gritted teeth, you barely manage to pull Kim’s weight up through the gap and onto the safe part of the boardwalk.

SHIVERS - Every tree will die, every building in Revachol will crumble before you fail Kim.

YOU - Your heart is pumping at a sickening rate in your throat. You can hear it in your ears, feel it pulsating through your wrists, pumping blood to your hot core.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant lies flat on his back beside you, drawing in shaky breaths. He silently clutches the blood stain on the left side of his chest.

EMPATHY - He’s wholly focused on his own pain.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Kim's white tank top is startlingly red around his chest. Blood seeps from the concealed wound at a slow but steady rate. His hands are protectively clutched over his chest, moving up and down with his unsteady breaths.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Your clammy hands break out into a cold sweat. This is fucking *bad*.

YOU - You frantically kneel beside him. “Kim, are you okay? You’re bleeding.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “I’m fine. I just need a minute.”

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - His voice is weaker than normal.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - He’s trying to hold it together for the both of you.

KIM KITSURAGI - He just lies there, face ghostly pale, not attempting to get up.

COMPOSURE [Easy: Failure] - Your heart thuds harder. What if Kim is minutes away from dying of blood loss? Or seconds, what if he’s drifting on the border of consciousness as his life sap pours from him and you just watch, fucking useless, not doing a thing?

HALF LIGHT - If he loses consciousness, he will never wake up again.

DRAMA - The headlines will herald: HEROIC COP DIES ON DUTY, FAILED BY HIS SUPERIOR, THE ONLY MAN WHO COULD SAVE HIM.

INLAND EMPIRE - 4.6 billion people...

SUGGESTION - Quick, say something before he slips into an eternal sleep.

YOU - “Keep talking to me, Kim. Uh, tell me about your father. No, fuck, I mean tell me about when you were a kid. What was your favourite thing to do? Did you like motor carriages back then?”

KIM KITSURAGI - His gaze flits away from the sky to focus on you. Despite everything, he still manages to arch a sarcastic eyebrow. “I’m not going to pass out, detective.”

REACTION SPEED - That’s news to us.

AUTHORITY - The lieutenant is clearly delirious. Set the record straight.

YOU - “But you’re losing so much blood, and you look really pale.”

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Your lower lip quivers, struck with the sudden weight of what’s happening. Kim is in pain, and it’s all your fault. *You* let him go on a rotting boardwalk to save yourself, and now you’re helplessly watching him bleed out.

AUTHORITY - What kind of ‘Lieutenant Double Yefreiter’ sacrifices their partner to keep themselves out of danger?

KIM KITSURAGI - “Something nicked a vein on my chest, that’s all,” he says, voice level. “It looks worse than it is. I can already feel the blood starting to clot.”

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He looks uncomfortable, but not in unbearable pain.

COMPOSURE - Okay, maybe he’s not approaching imminent death.

REACTION SPEED - Hold on, his blood is starting to ‘clot’?

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Blood clotting is a process that stops a damaged blood vessel from bleeding. If Kim can feel blood beginning to clot around the wound, that means he isn’t at risk of bleeding out. Damaged veins are usually non-fatal injuries, easily managed by low-level medical attention like applying pressure on the wound and bandaging it.

VOLITION - Crisis averted, now let’s go back to the Whirling-in-Rags to get him patched up.

YOU - But how can Kim know all of that by just putting his hands over his top?

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Lack of attention to detail isn’t the lieutenant’s style. He should be peeling his top off and assessing each millimetre of the wound.

LOGIC - If Kim is concealing the true extent of his injury for whatever reason, things could get nasty if you try to move him.

ENDURANCE - Evaluate the lieutenant’s wound before returning to the Whirling-in-Rags.

YOU - You gesture to Kim’s blood-stained tank top. “I should have a look at the injury before we go back to the Whirling."

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You’d pictured something more… *sensual* when you peeled Kim’s top off for the first time, but this will have to do. And who knows, maybe he’s got a thing for blood. Maybe you've got a thing for blood…

VOLITION - Now is not the time to be making such revelations.

KIM KITSURAGI - “No.” The reply is short.

YOU - No?

REACTION SPEED - Kim could be bleeding out and he's shy about taking his top off?

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Not wanting to take his shirt off in front of a near-stranger, even considering the circumstances, is understandable. Use some of that soft charm of yours to coax him out of his shell.

YOU - “Kim, this is really important. I need to check that it’s not worse than you think, otherwise you could– you could fucking die!”

AUTHORITY - Not exactly the *calm* voice of authority we were going for.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is unmoved by your show of emotion. “I said no.”

EMPATHY [Challenging: Failure] - Something underscores the words, beyond his usual tautness. Is it anger?

REACTION SPEED - Anger that you let him go onto the boardwalk?

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Challenging: Success] - The last place the lieutenant wants you to be is where he now lies, flat on his back with a bleeding chest.

CONCEPTUALISATION - This man would shed a thousand drops of blood for your body to go unscratched.

RHETORIC - Something else must be bothering him.

KIM KITSURAGI - He props himself up on one elbow in an attempt to look less on the verge of death. “I have a medical bag in my Kineema. If we go there, I can patch myself up.”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Whatever is under Kim’s shirt, it cannot be worse than the embarrassing amalgamation of fat and bloated tissue under yours.

YOU - “I really think I should take a look.”

KIM KITSURAGI- The lieutenant’s mouth is drawn in a grimace. “This is not open to debate, officer.”

PAIN THRESHOLD - Another pang of guilt shoots through you. As if causing Kim physical harm wasn’t enough, you’ve now pushed too far and pissed him off.

AUTHORITY - Pull rank and order him to let you examine his wound. If he dies whilst in your care, you’re done. Even more done than you already are.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - It wouldn't be wise to strongman the lieutenant when he’s in this state. Focus on getting him back to his Kineema.

YOU - You offer out a hand. “Can you walk?”

KIM KITSURAGI - His features relax. “Yes. It’s just a scratch.” He keeps one hand clutched on his blood-stained chest, and the other takes yours.

YOU - With Kim's cold hand in your much warmer one, you pull him off the ground.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - The colour hasn’t returned to Kim’s cheeks, and the large splodge of blood has fully soaked through the fabric of his top.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - ‘Scratch’ is an understatement, but Kim has made his position clear: he doesn't want help from you.

EMPATHY - [Medium: Success] - You got him into this mess. At least let him deal with it how he wants to.

YOU - You go quiet and let Kim lead the way.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant sets off at a slow but determined pace back through the abandoned buildings and corrugated metal shacks.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - A superficial chest injury isn’t going to stop him. He has *grit*, unlike you, panicking at the slightest mishap like a fucking pansy.

COMPOSURE - Seeing Kim walking, albeit slowly, eases your overwhelming guilt. Maybe you haven’t ruined everything beyond measure.

YOU - You keep in time with his pace. “I’m so sorry for letting you go on the boardwalk, Kim. I didn’t realise how unstable the boards would be.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He keeps his eyes forward. "It's fine. I’ll bandage up and we can get straight back to the case.”

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - Even now, clutching his blood-soaked top, his main concern is the case.

RHETORIC - Or is he using it to deflect from something else?

SHIVERS - The sharp wind blowing off the coast subsides as you pass through the fishing village. Seagulls fly overhead, scouring the ground for scraps of food left by the locals.

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim focuses on small, steady steps forward. Eyes down, he concentrates on navigating the uneven terrain.

INLAND EMPIRE - This surpasses his usual focus. A new type of quiet. You can almost hear it buzzing in your ears at an uncomfortable frequency, tense and purposeful.

YOU - You approach the Whirling-in-Rags, the midday sun high in the sky. You haven't wandered a pace away from Kim since the boardwalk.

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim ignores Fuck the World and Pissf****t who are kneeling by the front wheel. He reaches into the back of his Kineema and pulls out a white box.

YOU - "Have you got everything you need in there?"

KIM KITSURAGI - He nods. "I'll go to my room and sort myself out. It shouldn't take long."

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - When the lieutenant turns to face you, you notice how pale he still is. His complexion is washed out and tinged with grey. Although there’s no fresh blood seeping out from his chest, an alarming amount of blood has soaked through his top.

HALF LIGHT - What if he's punctured a lung, or an organ, or has major internal bleeding?

VOLITION - When you suggested he was moments away from death at the boardwalk, Kim practically laughed at you. Have some faith that he knows his limits.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Find a compromise.

YOU - "Why don't I walk you up there?"

KIM KITSURAGI - His grimace is displeased, but he nods. "All right."

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He's willing to sacrifice his wishes for your peace of mind.

VOLITION - Did we ever say how amazing Kim was?

LOGIC - All the fucking time.

INTERFACING - Just look at that fully customised motor carriage with pristine paintwork and its exposed, powerful engine, just waiting to accelerate to full speed within seconds.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You honestly think his motor carriage is the reason you go weak at the knees every time he looks at you?

YOU - Concentrating very hard on ignoring your thoughts, you walk into the Whirling-in-Rags with Kim.

WHIRLING-IN-RAGS - The main room is busy. Garte is speaking to a young couple behind the counter, the Hardie boys are sharing beers in the Union's booth and the Smoker on the Balcony is slowly exhaling smoke from a cigarette. At the other end, the irritated blonde man and horse-faced woman sit at the furthest table.

KIM KITSURAGI - Kim pulls his orange jacket closed to hide his not-so-white top, clenches his jaw and quickens his pace.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He doesn't want to seem weak in a room full of strangers and/or murder suspects.

KIM KITSURAGI - He walks up the stairs purposefully fast. On the second last step from the top, he stops short.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Bending at the knees slightly, Kim grips onto the bannister. The composed mask on his deathly pale face cracks, and his eyes squint in pain.

COMPOSURE - Your stomach flips. Seeing Kim in visible pain is not something you were prepared for.

YOU - "Kim, what's wrong?"

KIM KITSURAGI - He clings to the bannister with such force that his fingertips turn white. "I think I took the stairs too quickly.”

PAIN THRESHOLD - Blood loss and physical exertion is not a good combination.

YOU - You kneel slightly beside him. “Are you okay?”

KIM KITSURAGI - Eyes unfocused, a moment later Kim gently slumps to the floor. His limbs go limp and his eyes flutter shut.

HALF LIGHT - Oh my fucking god. Kim is dead. You've killed him! Murderer!

YOU - “Kim?” you say, frantically tapping his arm. What the hell happened?

ENCYCLOPEDIA - There is a 98% chance that he passed out.

HALF LIGHT - A 2% chance that he's dead?

KIM KITSURAGI - His chest moves up and down, very much alive.

INLAND EMPIRE - Even his unconscious likes to prove you wrong.

YOU - But he said he wasn't going to pass out?

DRAMA - Lies, sire. Horrific, grotesque *lies*.

ENDURANCE [Easy: Success] - The circumstances changed. His body wasn't prepared for a brisk walk up a flight of stairs whilst pretending not to appear injured.

YOU - You peek over the bannister, seeing all the people downstairs who would come to your aid if you shouted for help.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Kim didn’t want anyone to see his blood-stained shirt. Do you honestly think he’d want you to make a scene about his injury to half the population of Martinaise?

YOU - But what if he’s in serious need of help?

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant moves slightly in his semi-consciousness, eyes still shut. One of his jacket flaps falls open, revealing his white top caked in dried blood.

VISUAL CALCULUS - Dried blood. Not fresh.

COMPOSURE - It’s a simple damaged vein that requires cleaning and bandaging. After everything he’s done to preserve your dignity, don’t you think he deserves some grace in return?

YOU - You clench your jaw in determination. You will handle this yourself.

ENDURANCE [Challenging: Success] - Empowered by the same adrenaline that helped you pull Kim out of the hole in the boardwalk, you tuck your arms beneath Kim’s legs and hoist him up into your arms. He’s heavy in your untrained arms, but it’s a manageable weight.

SHIVERS - You owe him this and so much more.

YOU - With small, careful steps, you carry Kim’s dead weight up the final two stairs and along the upstairs corridor. You find Kim’s keys in his pocket and manage to unlock the room whilst keeping hold of him.

KIM’S BEDROOM - The bedroom door swings open. Inside is clean and tidy, as expected, with a made bed pushed against the far wall. It smells of pine aftershave and faint motor oil.

VOLITION - It puts your disgrace of a room to shame.

YOU - You carry Kim to his bed and place him down.

KIM KITSURAGI - His chest expands and falls at a steady rate. His eyes flutter half-open once or twice, but he remains unconscious.

YOU - With clammy hands, you yank open the medical bag and look for the bandages.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Don’t forget to clean the wound first. Look for some iodine solution and wipes.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - What about something a little more… *disco* to take the edge off first?

LOGIC - You have a collection of loose pills in your pocket, but Kim won’t be able to take them until he’s woken up.

YOU - You pour some of the iodine solution onto a wipe and kneel beside the bed. “Don’t worry, Kim,” you whisper to him. “I’ve got this under control.”

INLAND EMPIRE - His tormented subconscious is sure to appreciate the eerily soft assurances from the man who watched him fall through the rotten boardwalk from afar.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Peeling Kim’s blood-soaked shirt up, you see that the barely dried blood has turned a dark red. It’s everywhere, spilling out from the centre of the injury above one of Kim’s left ribs. The sticky substance coats Kim’s stomach in a thin layer.

YOU - You pull his shirt higher, hoping Kim won’t hate you for this. Surely he’ll understand that this was a medical necessity?

EMPATHY - Uncertain. He seemed very against you seeing the wound. 

COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Now you’re doing it unconsensually while he’s passed out. What kind of monster are you?

YOU - “Kim?”

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - Your voice sounds small and uncertain in the room.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant’s eyes remain closed.

AUTHORITY - What are you waiting for? Pull his shirt up and tend to his wound. It’s your right and your *duty*.

YOU - You continue peeling his shirt upwards, over his ribs and up to his collarbones.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Kim’s bare, almost hairless chest is out on display. Just above the left rib is a clumped amalgamation of blood– the ‘clot’.

YOU - A hot flush runs through your body.

EMPATHY - Nerves. The lieutenant is a private man, and this is a vulnerable position for you to see him in.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Wrong. You’re obviously flushing because you’re aroused. Not only do you probably have a blood thing, but you *definitely* have a Kim thing.

VOLITION - Not appropriate. Focus on cleaning around the wound.

YOU - With the iodine-soaked wipe, you begin wiping off the excess blood, starting with his stomach, then his upper chest, gradually working closer to the wound.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - As you clean more of the blood, something out of the ordinary catches your eye. Below Kim’s pecs, two horizontal purple lines run along the length of his chest, about a centimetre thick.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Pins and needles of worry shoot through you as you stare at the identical purple lines in the centre of Kim’s body.

YOU - Did these come from the boardwalk? Is Kim in worse pain than we thought?

VISUAL CALCULUS [Challenging: Success] - No, the fading purple scar tissue is evidence of a much older perforation. Four, possibly five years old.

YOU - What could they be from?

YOU - Perched over Kim’s bed, you stare at the two scars on Kim’s chest.

VISUAL CALCULUS - Their age makes it impossible to tell whether they were stitched up after a surgery, or whether open cuts simply faded into scars. Only one thing is clear: the two incisions were made on purpose.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Officers often need surgery after being injured in the line of duty. Across the city, a young sergeant proudly lifts his shirt, the pink stitches across his ribcage evidence of his heroism.

YOU - But Kim was defensive, secretive, not proud.

EMPATHY - Perhaps the incisions were self-inflicted. People do all sorts of harm to themselves on purpose.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Just look at yourself, party boy.

YOU - So Kim cut his chest open on purpose as some kind of emotional release?

INLAND EMPIRE - No. Something more sinister is at play. You knew there was something ominous about his apparent ambivalence to Dolorianism. The two perfect incisions lead to only one conclusion… Kim was in a cult! The incisions were an initiation ritual, the ultimate confirmation of his depraved beliefs.

HALF LIGHT - Hide! He’s coming for your chest next…

CONCEPTUALISATION - Two uniform slits. Two glowing lungs. Cutting into his incorporeal core. His own body as a canvas, this is performance art at its highest.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant’s momentarily forgotten body lies still. His chest and stomach are almost clean of blood. The wound itself sits just below the left scar.

LOGIC - The scars could be anything. There’s no point speculating further. Finish cleaning his wound so you can bandage him up.

YOU - You return to wiping the blood off Kim’s body, feeling uneasy about the mysterious scars just above. Could Kim really be part of a self-mutilating cult?

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Removing the excess blood gives you a clear sight of the wound.

VISUAL CALCULUS - It’s minuscule, no longer than a centimetre, but deep enough to have perforated a stubborn vein. It has since clotted, stopping the flow of blood.

KIM KITSURAGI - A low hiss comes from the lieutenant as you dab it. The pain must jolt him out of his unconsciousness, because his eyes flutter half open.

REACTION SPEED - He’s awake!

VOLITION - Thank god.

YOU - You peer over his face. “Kim, are you with me?”

KIM KITSURAGI - His hands find yours hovering over his chest, and he weakly pushes them away. Eyes half closed, he tries to pull down his blood-stained top like it’s the only thing that matters.

EMPATHY - He really did *not* want you to see the scars.

YOU - “I’m sorry, Kim. Er, you passed out on the stairs and I thought it’d be okay if I brought you in here. I was just trying to clean your wound, but I kind of saw something else...”

KIM KITSURAGI - He pulls his shirt fully down. “You weren’t supposed to see,” he mumbles. He blinks several times, eyes adjusting to the light.

EMPATHY - He sounds smaller, more vulnerable.

AUTHORITY [Trivial: Success] - Come clean. Hiding what you’ve clearly seen would be an insult to his intelligence.

YOU - “See what? The scars?”

KIM KITSURAGI - He steadfastly avoids your gaze as he regains his bearings. “Yes.”

EMPATHY - He’s disorientated and in pain. Now is not the time to push him for answers about old, irrelevant scars.

INLAND EMPIRE - But we really need to know whether he’s in a cult.

CONCEPTUALISATION - And compliment him on his transformative artwork.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - And tease a heroic police story out of him.

YOU - “What are they?”

KIM KITSURAGI - His gaze sharpens. A line of concentration forms on his forehead as he regards you. “What?”

COMPOSURE - It’s not often you catch the lieutenant off guard.

EMPATHY - Take it easy. Don’t jump straight into the cult stuff. This is a sensitive topic.

YOU - You lean back, trying to appear casually interested. “Were you injured on duty?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “What? No.” Confusion twists his features further. “You seriously don’t know?”

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - Beneath the confusion is another emotion: hope. He is silently praying you don’t recognise the scars.

REACTION SPEED- Wait, are we meant to know what they are?

INLAND EMPIRE [Challenging: Failure] - Common knowledge or a personal story told on a balcony at night, it’s unclear what the lieutenant is expecting of you.

YOU - “I don’t understand."

KIM KITSURAGI - Something unusual tugs at the corners of his lips. A misplaced smile. “Right. You forgot.” 

AUTHORITY - For a man lying in bed having just fainted from a minor vein injury, the lieutenant still somehow manages to radiate superiority.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - More than that, Kim looks *relieved*.

YOU - “Forgot what?” you say, curiosity burning in your core. “Did you tell me what happened? Am I meant to know how you got them?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “No. Don’t worry, detective.” Relief softens his features. He notices how you’re eagerly perched beside the bed. “Could you get me some painkillers from the Frittte?”

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Challenging: Success] - His suggestion is about more than the painkillers. He wants to get rid of you before your memory is revived.

COMPOSURE - You narrowly resist the urge to smack yourself in the head. Stupid fucking useless memory failing when you need it most.

YOU - Instead of bashing your head in, you retrieve the loose pills in your pocket and hold them out in your sweaty palm. “I’ve got some right here.”

VOLITION - How appetising.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant stares at them for a long moment. “I’m not taking those.”

AUTHORITY - The reply is firm, leaving no room for argument.

EMPATHY - Even though the wound is small, you feel bad about leaving Kim lying in bed all alone when he still looks so pale.

YOU - “Will you be okay here by yourself?”

KIM KITSURAGI - “Yes, I can clean the rest of the wound myself.” After a pause, his tone softens. “Thank you for assisting me.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Although his thanks is genuine, he would not be so grateful if you’d remembered what his scars meant.

YOU - You accept defeat and get up. “Okay, I won’t be long. Try not to, fuckin', die while I’m gone.”

SAVOIR FAIRE - As smooth as always, Harry. Which is to say, not at all.

YOU - You leave Kim’s bedroom before you can embarrass yourself further. Kim will be alright, if not better, in your absence.

INLAND EMPIRE - Your heart stings in the frustrating absence of your memory, a gaping black hole where your entire life is supposed to be. Whatever happened, you sincerely hope that Kim is alright.

~

YOU - Armed with three bottles of magnesium, drouamine and nosaphed from the Frittte, you jog back to the Whirling-in-Rags.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Whatever Kim doesn’t use, you can pocket for yourself for later. Or right now, party boy, what the hell are you waiting for?

YOU - A familiar face distracts you from thinking about a fun pill cocktail.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - In the Whirling-in-Rags’ cafeteria, the Smoker on the Balcony stands by himself. Smoke trails into the air from the cigarette held elegantly between his fingers.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - His half-buttoned shirt fits over his slim limbs unfairly well. He reclines against the pillar, one leg hooked over the other, as though waiting for someone to strike up a conversation with him while also being perfectly satisfied by his own company.

SAVOIR FAIRE - You enjoyed speaking to him last time. Somehow, he smelt so *fresh*, and his eyes had an extra sparkle in them.

REACTION SPEED - Hold on, could the Smoker know about Kim’s scars?

YOU - Why would he?

INLAND EMPIRE - An inkling.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - More than that. The Smoker, alongside his fresh smells and sparkling eyes, is a valuable source of knowledge. He taught us about the homo-sexual underground, remember?

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - How could we forget? We need in on that homo shit, like, now.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - In a dimly lit hostel room, a man with fresh bandages wrapped around his chest exhales slowly, in and out, savouring the feeling of the pillow against his head.

VOLITION - Kim isn’t in urgent need of your painkillers, and you’ve only been gone five minutes. Maybe he’d appreciate an extra few alone.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - The Smoker would also appreciate the conversation, even with you.

INLAND EMPIRE - Last time you spoke, you felt like you could tell the Smoker anything. The same feeling arises in your chest now, like you and Kim’s deepest secrets would be safe in his hands.

YOU - You approach the Smoker with your friendliest smile. “Hello.”

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - The Smoker’s eyes train on you with that signature sparkle in them. His smile is sweet like honey. “Hello again, gendarme.”

YOU - You pause before asking your question. Won’t Kim be angry that we’re going behind his back to find out where his scars are from?

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You want to know what caused them, don’t you? Shut up with this pansy ‘will Kim be mad at me?’ bullshit and get on with it.

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Yes, what if something truly terrible happened that he can’t bear to say aloud? You need to *help* him, sire.

YOU - “There’s something wrong with my friend, and I was hoping you could help me out, you know, considering my mind’s kind of fucked.” You loop a finger around the side of your head.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - His eyebrows raise in interest. “Your friend?”

EMPATHY - The words gently urge you to elaborate.

CONCEPTUALISATION - You could say ‘Lieutenant Kitsuragi’, but something much less professional comes out when thinking about the man you carried in your arms to his room.

YOU - “Kim.”

COMPOSURE - A bubble of anxiety rises in your throat thinking about Kim.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - “Oh, yes,” he nods. “*Kim*.”

YOU - Tears prick the corners of your eyes, and a painful lump forms in your throat. “I’m really worried about him. He’s– he’s fine, I’m just– I don’t want to fuck things up.” You noisily sniff. “He deserves so much better than this– this fucking mess.”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Medium: Success] - He really does. Look at you, snivelling and crying over a tiny wound and two healed scars like a woman. Suck it up.

YOU - You suck in a deep breath and blink away the water in your eyes.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - The Smoker patiently watches you wrestle with your emotions. He glances at the people on the table nearby, before leaning in slightly. “Is Kim, how should I say it… a kind of Sunday friend to you?”

RHETORIC [Challenging: Failure] - There are layers to the Smoker’s emphasised words you can’t quite pinpoint.

INLAND EMPIRE - The Smoker’s Sunday Friend is *nothing* like Kim. From when you first set eyes on the lieutenant, you knew that man would put everything on the line for you, and he’s demonstrated that time and time again. The Sunday Friend is nothing more than a volatile leech.

YOU - “No, he’s friends with me on more than just Sundays.”

RHETORIC - You don’t actually know that, since you and the lieutenant have yet to spend one, let alone multiple Sundays together, but it sounds convincing enough.

INLAND EMPIRE - It feels convincing, too. Kim is so much more than a ‘Sunday Friend’.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - “Of course,” he says, something bittersweet passing across his face. “So, what can I help you with?”

AUTHORITY [Trivial: Success] - Explain the situation straightforwardly. That worked last time.

YOU - “He has these two scars on his chest, like this.” You point to just below your nipples. “When I said I didn’t know what they were, he acted so surprised, like he couldn’t believe it. I think I’ve forgotten something I’m meant to know, something really important.”

PAIN THRESHOLD - Your throat burns with helplessness, frustration at yourself and your stupid broken memory.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He blinks. “Scars?”

YOU - You trace below your nipples in two straight lines. “Two of them like this. Really straight and purposeful, not like from a natural injury. I thought they were from a surgery, but I don’t know what kind of surgery gives you scars like that.”

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He considers this for a long moment, looking thoughtful. “I think I know what you’re talking about,” he says slowly.

REACTION SPEED - Result!

YOU - “So, what are they?”

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He tilts his head to one side. “Does he want you to find out?”

VOLITION - The hesitant question reminds you of exactly what you were trying to avoid: that you’re going behind Kim’s back. That this is a bad, underhand thing to do.

HALF LIGHT - And here you are, doing it anyway. Do you really want to help Kim, or is this just to satisfy your own selfish curiosity?

EMPATHY - The Smoker is skilled at keeping secrets, like his name and his Sunday Friend. He won’t tell you Kim’s secret if he thinks Kim doesn’t want you to know.

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Lie, sire. Lie through your teeth, as though your life depends on it.

YOU - “Yeah, of course he does. He’s just sick of explaining every little thing to me, said I should work this one out myself.” You flash a smile. “I figured you’d know, so here I am.”

DRAMA - Spectacularly convincing, sire.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - The Smoker appears to relax. “All right,” he drawls, uncrossing his arms. “Strap in, gendarme. You know this homo-sexual underground you so galliantly discovered?”

YOU - You eagerly nod. “Yes?”

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He glances around, lowering his voice. “There is a deeper layer to it. A darker, even more nefarious layer where only the most intrepid members dare to go.”

REACTION SPEED - Woah, an even deeper level to the homo-sexual underground?

YOU - You stare at the Smoker, hooked on each word coming out of his perfectly shaped mouth.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - “The trans-sexual underground,” he whispers with wide eyes. “Members not only seek to destroy the institutions of marriage, man and woman, but to destabilise society itself. Under their rule, the future will become a circus of meaningless identities, constantly spinning, surreal and impossible. Until then, it's all top-secret. Borderline illegal." His smile fades. “People don’t like it when you challenge their understanding of the world.”

RHETORIC - Borderline illegal? That doesn't sound like Kim.

AUTHORITY - Kim would never break the law. He *is* the law.

YOU - "That doesn't sound like Kim."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Well, members of the trans-sexual underground are very discreet." He pauses, waiting for your reaction.

REACTION SPEED - It's the same expectant look Kim gave you when waiting to see if you knew what the scars were.

SUGGESTION [Trivial: Success] - It's like you're supposed to know what this *trans-sexual* underground is.

INLAND EMPIRE - This cloak-and-dagger underground network is sounding more cult-like by the second.

YOU - "Is it a cult?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "No, gendarme," he says gently, seeing that your confusion is genuine. "It’s an individual feeling. Some people don’t fit the sex they were born with, so they take steps to change it and live out the sex they want to be. Like your friend," he adds carefully. "He was born as a girl, but it didn’t fit him, so he became a man. That’s where the scars come from.”

REACTION SPEED - Hold on, what the fuck? Kim was born a girl?

RHETORIC - And now he's a man? How’s that even possible?

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Keep up. Kim cut his fucking tits off, like some kind of homo. No, worse than a homo. He wasn't even a man to begin with.

YOU - Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. "You can just do that?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He nods. "I have a friend in Jamrock who did. The hormones are easy enough to get if you know who to speak to. Surgeries are expensive and dangerous, only done in backstreet practices. It’s a risk some people take."

INLAND EMPIRE - Beyond physicality, this is a matter of intrinsic personal identity, the very fabric of one's being.

EMPATHY - Kim doesn't like taking risks, but he gave his own body to a backstreet surgeon to have his cut chest open.

SHIVERS - To the glowing lungs at his core.

EMPATHY - This is important to him.

LOGIC - Congratulations, Dick Mullen. Now let's establish what's really going on here.

YOU - "So Kim was a woman?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He swishes an indecisive hand. "Maybe don't say that. He’s just... a different type of man."

YOU - Trans-sexual underground. Backstreet surgeries. Different types of men. This all seems very...

CONCEPTUALISATION [Challenging: Success] - High art. Not only has the lieutenant made his body a canvas for his enigmatic project, but he is participating in something greater. A network of artists critical of everything forged from convention. Dismantling the farce of mainstream ‘art’. Destabilising society itself.

YOU - You go quiet for a moment. It seems like a big deal, and you had no idea Kim was part of this trans-sexual underground.

RHETORIC - That's exactly the point. *Hidden* membership. *Backstreet* surgeries.

REACTION SPEED - Wait, if members of this mysterious network are completely hidden to the world around them, what's to say we weren't part of it?

PAIN THRESHOLD - An uncomfortable feeling tugs at your neck, the helpless itch of uncertainty.

YOU - "What if I'm part of the trans-sexual underground?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He scoffs aloud, amused. Then, seeing your panicked eyes, clears his throat. "I’m afraid I can’t answer that for you, Gendarme."

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - His voice is soft. Non-judgmental.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Failure] - It's unclear whether he's exercising his usual kindness or gently letting you down that you are part of the trans-sexual underground.

YOU - "But how am I meant to know? Will I have the same scars as him?" You slap your hands onto your chest.

PAIN THRESHOLD - All you feel is a slight stinging where your hands meet your swollen body.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - The Smoker is staring at you with an awkward, almost guilty expression.

EMPATHY [Challenging: Success] - He's realising that he has bitten off more than he can chew.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "It's really not for me to say. Some surgeries don't leave noticeable scars, or they fade completely over time." He gives you a small smile. "As I said, it's a very personal decision. It’s something better discussed with your friend. As this whole conversation would be, I think.” He looks pensive now.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success]- No matter how knowledgeable the Smoker is, your confusion is pushing him out of his depth.

SUGGESTION - Now you've solved this mystery, you should get back to Kim.

YOU - "Thank you for telling me all this,” you smile.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Anytime, gendarme." He lowers his voice. "Just remember, this is a top-secret network, okay? Don't go asking around about it."

RHETORIC - For Kim's sake, probably.

YOU - You tap the side of your nose. "Don't worry, Kim's secret is safe with me."

CONCEPTUALISATION - Kim has been waiting for someone as critical and intelligent as you to compliment his art.

EMPATHY - Kim's secretiveness is borne out of fear. Make sure he knows you accept his new identity and that he is safe with you.

AUTHORITY - Yes, assert that he is your lieutenant first and foremost, and a member of the trans-sexual underground second.

SUGGESTION - And maybe Kim will tell you if you're part of it, too.

YOU - “See you around!”

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He raises his slender hand in a wave. “Bye, gendarme.”

VOLITION - Good work. Now let’s get back to Kim.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - After knocking three times on Kim’s bedroom door, a faint voice calls from inside. “Come in.”

LOGIC - The voice is a good sign that he hasn’t passed out or died.

YOU - You enter Kim’s bedroom.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Kim is sitting up in bed, his back against the headboard. He has changed out of his blood-stained top into a new white tank top.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Does he have an endless supply of those things? Not that we’re complaining…

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Beneath his top, you can make out the faint line of bandages. The colour has returned to his cheeks, and his eyes are in sharper focus.

YOU - “Hi, Kim! You look so much better.”

SAVOIR FAIRE - Do you have to insist on sounding like an overexcited puppy every time you speak to him?

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant nods. “Thank you, detective. The injury was just superficial. I’ll take the painkillers then we can get back to the case.”

LOGIC - Right. The reason you left him in the first place.

KIM KITSURAGI - If he notices you’ve been gone longer than it takes to get to the Frittte and back, he doesn’t mention it.

YOU - You retrieve the small collection of boxed painkillers from your pocket. “Your pick.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He takes the drouamine and swallows two tablets, dry.

DRAMA - Now is the time to present our cunning findings, sire.

YOU - "Kim, I figured it out!"

SAVOIR FAIRE - Wow. This level of unbridled enthusiasm is a new low. How is Kim supposed to think you’re cool when everything you say ends with several exclamation marks?

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant looks at you, wary but hopeful. "Figured out what?"

ESPRIT DE CORPS - The case? he almost says. He wouldn't put it past Harry the Can Opener Du Bois.

COMPOSURE - You're barely able to contain the excitement bubbling in your throat.

YOU - "You're part of the trans-sexual underground.”

KIM KITSURAGI - His face falls in a split second. All the colour drains from his cheeks, returning to its ashen grey complexion.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Is it his injury, has the blood somehow become unclotted?

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Heroic: Failure] - How are we supposed to know what’s going on beneath the lieutenant’s bandages?

KIM KITSURAGI - “What?” he annunciates slowly. His jaw clenches and unclenches, the bones grinding together beneath his skin.

PERCEPTION (HEARING) - The room has gone deathly quiet. You can hear your own breath coming from your parted lips.

INLAND EMPIRE - If the lieutenant’s words could materialise into physical form, they’d form a pointed icicle.

HALF LIGHT - And then stab you right in the chest.

YOU - Is Kim… angry?

CONCEPTUALISATION - Maybe he’s just confused how a common man such as yourself is aware of such high art concepts. Either way, you should explain yourself.

YOU - “I spoke to the Smoker on the Balcony on my way back.”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant's features have twisted with realisation. Lips pursed, eyebrows pinched together.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - This is more than his usual fond irritation. This is pure anger, and there is nothing fond about it.

KIM KITSURAGI - "You told the Smoker on the Balcony about my scars?” he says very quietly. He’s not just angry. He’s *furious*.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Fuck, it hurts. Right in your chest, a thrumming ball of regret and humiliation.

EMPATHY - You never wanted to see Kim look at you like this, hurt from having the trust he so readily handed you betrayed.

SUGGESTION - You can still bring this back, with a bit of tact.

YOU - "Don't worry, Kim, he was super understanding,” you nervously assure him. “He told me all about the trans-sexual underground and how you were born a girl but you're just a 'different type of man', and how you get hormones from knowing the right people and you got a backstreet surgery to make yourself a man. You know, I’m all for destabilising society. It’s, like, my thing.”

REACTION SPEED - Is it so your thing!

AUTHORITY - Despite the fact that he’s sitting in bed, injured, the lieutenant imposes a much larger, more threatening presence in the room.

KIM KITSURAGI - He regards you with piercingly cold eyes. "We have a murder case to solve, and you’re more interested in digging into my personal life?” He clicks his tongue. “If I'd wanted you to know, I would’ve told you. This is *none* of your business."

COMPOSURE - Your stomach drops.

REACTION SPEED - Oh, this is bad. Kim didn't get this angry when he had to pawn his spinners to pay for your room, when he found out you'd lost your gun or crashed your motor carriage, or even split a ‘kilo’ of speed with a child.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Did you not hear the Smoker? *Secret*, he said. *Borderline illegal*. You weren't supposed to know this.

HALF LIGHT - Kim has no choice but to silence you for good, then possibly kill himself and stage it as a double murder so no one ever finds out what he was part of.

SUGGESTION - Quick, explain yourself before he reaches for his gun.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Kim is not going to kill you. But he does deserve an explanation.

YOU - You huddle your arms together, going for your meekest look. “I’m sorry, Kim,” you say with feeling. “I shouldn’t have gone behind your back. This memory thing just has me fucked up, and when you were surprised I didn’t know what the scars were, I thought I’d forgotten something really important about you. I just wanted to remember something again.” Your words tail off timidly.

EMPATHY - You went behind Kim’s back and betrayed his trust. That needs more than a few words to heal.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant pinches the bridge of his nose and bows his head to hide his expression. His shoulders fold inward, a wordless act of self-protection.

EMPATHY - Protecting himself from *you*.

HALF LIGHT - Oh my god, you've broken Kim. He's going to cry and it's all your fault.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Guilt stabs your chest like needles.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - And not the fun type.

HALF LIGHT - What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you do this to the man who has only treated you with kindness? You should kill yourself as penance. It's the least you can do.

COMPOSURE [Challenging: Success] - But first you should ask if he’s okay.

YOU - You take a tentative step forward. “Kim, are you okay?”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant reappears from where he’d buried his face into his hands.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - His eyes fix on yours, exasperated but no longer furious. His face isn’t blotchy and his eyes aren’t bloodshot.

VISUAL CALCULUS - He wasn’t silently sobbing. He just needed a moment.

KIM KITSURAGI - “No one knows about this, officer. *No one*. Not at my precinct, not my friends of years. But now there’s this.” His smile is humourless. “You and the Smoker on the fucking Balcony are the first two people to know.”

EMPATHY - Twisted, spiky words and a flat smile. Stuffing his emotions deep down where they belong, his words are no longer steeped in fury.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Heroic: Success] - Flashes of pain run through his chest from where the painkillers have yet to reach. The worst of the lieutenant’s devastating fear has passed seeing that neither you or the Smoker are at risk of exposing his secret.

YOU - Phew. Does this mean we’re off the hook for the whole murder-suicide thing?

KIM KITSURAGI - His arms remain defensively crossed, but the glint to his eye isn’t exactly *murderous*.

DRAMA - Don’t you see, sire? You’re the first person to know such a deliciously personal thing about him. You’re *special*.

VOLITION - Perhaps, but for once this isn’t about you. Though you’ve yet to grasp the significance of being a member of the trans-sexual underground, this is a big deal. Kim is telling you how much of a big deal this is.

YOU - “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know it was such a big deal.”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant looks tired again. “Of course you didn’t.”

COMPOSURE - You’re really never getting over this whole losing-your-memory thing, are you?

PAIN THRESHOLD - The stabbing pain in your chest has lessened, but it’s still there, evidence of your latest fuck-up.

SUGGESTION - You’ve done enough damage here. Time to make a speedy exit and let the lieutenant’s painkillers kick in.

YOU - "I’ll get back to the case while you rest.”

DRAMA - Come on, sire, we can lay it on a bit thicker than that. Hang your head in shame. Pout your lower lip. Blink those almost-forming tears out of your eyes.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Get real sad and pathetic. Kim is definitely into that kind of thing.

YOU - You hang your head in shame and turn to leave his bedroom in disgrace.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Wait," he says sharply. "We need to set a few things straight first."

YOU - His firm voice makes you stop in your tracks.

AUTHORITY- It makes you feel smaller, meeker.

KIM KITSURAGI - His intense gaze locks onto yours. “I need your assurance that you will not tell another soul about this. Not about my scars or the ‘trans-sexual underground’, or anything remotely pertaining to the topic. Absolutely nothing, ok?”

CONCEPTUALISATION - Art viewed by the masses loses its meaning. It’s more avant-garde if only you know about it.

VOLITION - Affirm that he can rely on you.

YOU - “Of course, Kim. My lips are sealed.” You mime zipping your lips shut.

KIM KITSURAGI - “This is extremely sensitive information, officer. You cannot just go around telling people things like this. Do you understand?”

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Sir, yes sir!

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Calling Kim ‘sir’, now there’s an idea…

AUTHORITY - You certainly will not be calling a mere lieutenant ‘sir’.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - But what if he *really* liked it.

VOLITION - Can we not do this right now?

KIM KITSURAGI - He stares at you, unsurprised that it’s taking you so long to reply.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - If you ever want a hope of Kim trusting you again, you need to say something normal and reassuring. That’s to say, a normal level of reassuring. No lip pouts or puppy eyes.

YOU - You nod solemnly. “I understand. I won’t tell another soul about this. Consider it already forgotten. I only know one secret underground network, and it’s the homo-sexual underground.” You give him a wink.

REACTION SPEED - A little over the top, but it’ll do.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant nods warily. “Good.”

PAIN THRESHOLD - Relief sweeps through you as he accepts your promise.

EMPATHY - This is the first step to gaining back his trust.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - But your task isn’t complete yet. You still don’t know how Kim feels about the scars on his chest, whether he was coerced into the surgery by other members of the trans-sexual underground or if this is something he took upon himself.

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Start with something less confrontational. This is the perfect chance to answer your big question while taking the pressure off Kim.

YOU - “The smoker said I could be part of the trans-sexual underground, too. We could be the same, Kim.”

KIM KITSURAGI - He rubs his eyes, looking distinctly tired. “I highly doubt that, officer.”

YOU - Oh…

REACTION SPEED - But how would Kim know? The Smoker said it was a personal decision, hidden to all around them.

INLAND EMPIRE - Hooded figures creeping amongst the shadows, special handshakes and identifying marks only members would recognise.

YOU - “But the trans-sexual underground is top-secret. Anyone could be in it, even the people you least expect.”

KIM KITSURAGI - His frown turns sour. “There is no ‘trans-sexual underground’. There is just me, and my thoughts, and a handful of people who feel the same way out there that I will never meet.”

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - More than just sadness creeps into his voice. This is what utter solitude feels like.

RHETORIC - If there’s no trans-sexual underground, that means there are no conversations held after dark, no secret handshake or identifying marks. There is no network at all. Kim is in this alone.

VOLITION - You know what it’s like to feel completely alone in this world. Having someone else here- having Kim here- has helped.

YOU - “Maybe telling people would help you feel less alone?”

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant’s gaze flits down. “It’s not that simple. A hint to the wrong person could cause me a whole lot of grief. It’s safer that no one knows.”

LOGIC - This wasn’t about hiding a secret he’d prefer not to tell you– it was about preserving his own safety.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - You don’t know what happens to people of this non-existent trans-sexual underground, but it must be worse than the way people have already spoken to Kim in Martinaise with outright hostility.

YOU - “I think I understand. You don’t want people to have another stupid reason to hate you.”

KIM KITSURAGI - “It’s not just that.” Your words empower him to continue. “I don’t want this to define me. I know what I am– an officer of the RCM. Not some circus freakshow, or some great mystery to solve.” He throws a pointed look at you.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Ouch.

VOLITION - It’s time to get real, no more cultish or high art theories.

YOU - “I think you’re a great detective, Kim.”

EMPATHY - You resolve never to mention the scars or his identity again if it would make him feel better.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant isn’t looking at you anymore. His hands are neatly folded onto his lap, gaze somewhere far away.

SUGGESTION - One more question. Just to make sure you understand how he feels about this all.

RHETORIC - You sensed an edge of bitterness underlying the way he said ‘circus freakshow’, as though his scars were another thing to count against himself.

YOU - “Did somebody talk you into having the surgery?”

KIM KITSURAGI - He glances up, gaze refocusing on you. “No. It was my decision. It was dangerous, naively reckless.” His gaze softens. “It was one of the best things I’ve ever done.”

ESPRIT DE CORPS - Overpowering relief and self-fulfilled joy looking into the reflection of a dull mirror. The distant frustration of wondering why he waited so long.

EMPATHY - A body he wants to keep.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant gets out of bed, squaring his shoulders and clasping his hands behind his back. “Enough of this talk. We’ve got a murder to solve.”

SUGGESTION - You’re not in a position to argue with him, but a friendly nudge wouldn’t go amiss, just to make sure he isn’t over-exerting himself.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - You can’t handle seeing Kim in pain again.

YOU - “It’s okay if you need more time to rest. That boardwalk shit was intense.”

KIM KITSURAGI - Predictably, he shakes his head. “I’m fine. Lead the way, detective.” The last word is firm, but soft.

SHIVERS [Heroic: Success] - He forgives you, and he will continue to forgive you again and again and again. This is a ritual he will never tire of.

YOU - With a smile on your face, you lead the way out of the lieutenant’s bedroom.