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Nick and Charlie had been together for 10 years. They recently bought a house together in Manchester where they had been living since graduation.
They knew that marriage was the next thing on the cards for them. They had discussed it many times over the years. Charlie knew Nick wanted to be the one to propose.
“You asked me to kiss you, you said I love you first, let me have this”.
Nick knew that Charlie wouldn’t want anything big or lavish. But the one thing he wanted to give Charlie was a complete surprise.
He knew Charlie was getting impatient, but that just made him more adamant to surprise his boyfriend.
One day, they were washing the dishes after dinner, when Nick turned to Charlie with a loving look in his eyes.
He got down on one knee. Charlie gasped.
“Charlie, my love, will you…”, he let the silence linger. He could see tears forming in Charlie‘s eyes, “pick me up from training tomorrow?”.
Charlie’s mouth dropped open. Then a second later he swatted at Nick.
“You absolute bastard!”
Nick was in fits of laughter.
“I’m sorry Charlie, but I couldn’t resist. You’ve been dropping so many hints about a proposal!”
“Yes because it’s been 10 years and I’m still waiting for one!”, Charlie wasn’t really angry, seeing the funny side once he got over his shock.
“It’s coming Charlie, I promise! I just really want to surprise you”.
They kissed.
——
A few weeks later, after living though more hints from Charlie, Nick was in menace mode again.
They were lounging on the couch, Charlie draped over Nick, making out and talking and making out some more.
“I love you so much Charlie! I can’t wait to call you my husband!”
Charlie pulled back from the kiss.
“Oh yeah”, Nick heard Charlie’s breath catch.
“Completely. Actually, you know what, I can’t think of a better time to ask”.
“To ask?”, nervousness and excitement evident in Charlie’s tone.
“Will you….get my favourite biscuits next time you’re shopping?”
Charlie exhaled and rolled his eyes.
“Not funny, Nicholas!!”
“I thought it was hilarious actually”.
Charlie sat up and turned on the TV.
Nick had a brief moment of regret now that their romantic mood was broken. But he told himself to keep with the plan.
——
Nick repeated the joke a few more times. Every time he saw less laughter in Charlie’s eyes.
But every time he told himself it was the right thing. To really surprise Charlie with the real proposal.
——
They were walking through their local park. One of their spots.
Charlie had stopped dropping hints. He trusted that Nick knew what he was doing. He was willing to wait.
Nick bent down to tie his shoe.
“Charlie”, he called.
Charlie turned toward him.
He looked sceptical.
“What? Will I walk Daisy later? Will I buy you new socks?”
Nick smiled disarmingly.
“No baby. Not this time. I love you. I love our life. I want this forever. So I want to ask you…..”
Charlie’s heart started going a mile a minute. This was actually happening.
“Will you….watch the new Marvel with me tonight?”
Charlie’s face fell. As did his world. He backed away from Nick. He looked hurt, betrayed. Broken.
Nick scrambled to his feet.
“I’m sorry Char. I thought you would find it fun-“.
The rest of that word died on his lips as Charlie ran away from him in the direction of their house.
Nick turned toward Daisy.
“I think I fucked up girl”.
He followed Charlie but the curly haired man put all of his previous cross country practice to good use and Nick wasn’t able to catch up.
Nick saw Charlie enter their house and slam their front door shut from the opposite side of the road.
Thankfully he had also brought his house keys on the walk as he didn’t want to have to ring the doorbell to ask his enraged other half to let him in.
He let himself in. Charlie’s coat was thrown on the floor.
Nick went upstairs and knocked on their closed bedroom door.
No answer.
“Char? Can I come in?”
Silence.
“I’m so sorry Charlie. I thought you would laugh like the other times”.
Silence.
“Please Charlie. Talk to me. I love you. I’m sorry”.
Silence.
He waited outside the door for another few minutes. Nothing. He walked away. Tended to Daisy who still had her lead on.
He felt restless so he sat in their living room.
A while later he heard the bedroom door open and Charlie came down the stairs. He stood up and went to him. Charlie had been crying. He followed Charlie into the kitchen and watched him get a glass of water.
“I’m sorry Charlie”, he tried again. Keeping his distance.
Charlie turned to him. The previous hurt and betrayal was still there. And now Charlie looked angry.
“Am I a joke to you?”, Charlie asked quietly.
“No”, Nick breathed, “no of course not love, I-“.
“Then why did you just humiliate me like that?”, Charlie interrupted.
“I didn’t mean to. I thought it was a joke. You laughed previous times”.
Charlie scoffed.
“Previous times!! You have made fun of me over this so many times now Nick!”
Nick hung his head.
“I wanted to marry you. I made no secret of it! Yeah, ok, maybe I was desperate, but I just wanted to call you my husband! The man I love. Who I thought loved me so much back he would never make me feel like this. He would never take the one thing I want from him and make a joke of it. Would never lead me on with speeches, making me think my wish was finally coming true and then turn me into a laughing stock!”
Nick was crying now. Guilt and shame overwhelming him.
“You weren’t desperate Charlie. I am so so sorry. God, those words seem so inadequate but I am! I didn’t think. I should have. I should know you better. Please, please forgive me”.
He approached Charlie and tried to pull him into a hug.
Charlie put his hand up.
Nick stood still.
“I need time”.
Nick held his breath.
“What does that mean? Are you breaking up with me?”
Charlie shook his head.
“No. But I need a break”.
Nick nodded.
“You said ‘wanted’ just now. Do you not want to marry me anymore?”
“I don’t know. I can’t talk about that right now”.
“Ok”.
“I’ll pack a bag”, Charlie went to leave the room.
“No!”, Nick stood in front of him, “I did this. I should be the one to go”.
Charlie didn’t put up a fight.
Nick went upstairs and started packing. He moved slowly. Hopeful every second that Charlie would change his mind.
Charlie was nowhere to be seen when he left the house.
He checked into a hotel.
Over the next two days he texted Charlie regularly.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
I should have known better.
Of course I want to marry you.
You’re the best thing in my life.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
At first there was no reply.
Then on the second day Charlie invited him over to their house.
He rang the bell nervously. He could have let himself in but he wanted to respect Charlie’s boundaries.
Charlie let him in and they sat on the couch.
They talked and talked.
Nick could see Charlie moving closer.
He risked an arm out to rub Charlie’s back.
Charlie smiled at him and cuddled in.
Charlie admitted he was angry and hurt. But knew in his heart that Nick hadn’t done it maliciously and that it wasn’t worth losing Nick over.
Nick apologised for not thinking.
They made up and Nick moved back in.
A few weeks later Charlie was having a lie in. Nick had gone down to make breakfast. He was making a lot of noise but Charlie was too cosy in bed to investigate.
They had moved on entirely from the incident. A bit too entirely. Neither had mentioned marriage or proposals since.
Eventually Nick called him downstairs.
He entered the kitchen.
The table had an array of all of Charlie’s favourite breakfast and brunch foods. All in bitesize chunks to not overwhelm Charlie with choice. Nick had decorated the table. Tablecloth, napkins, their fancy plates and cutlery. Balloons and rose petals dotted around the room. Nick was in an outfit Charlie always said Nick looked sexy in. Jeans and a plaid shirt.
Charlie put his hand to his mouth.
Nick got down on one knee. He was holding a ring box. He popped it open.
“I wanted you to see the ring straightaway so you know I’m not joking this time”, Nick blushed.
Charlie laughed and indicated the room as if to say, ‘I know you wouldn’t go to all of this effort for a joke’.
Nick made a speech full of love and care and clichés and tropes. He never took his eyes off Charlie.
He asked Charlie to marry him.
Charlie tearfully said yes.
They embraced.
Nick pulled out a bottle of champagne and they popped it and cheers’ed to their future.
By the time they got around to eating, some of the food had gone cold. It was still the best meal Charlie had ever had.