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The car came to a stop a few meters away from the massive building with a dull thud, like it was sick of carrying them around. Frank was the first one out without hesitation, while Ray struggled with his seatbelt as if it were a personal enemy.
“Do we really have to wait?”
Frank yawned, leaning against the car door.
“I really need to pee and eat at the same time. In that order. Though I think I wanna take a shit first and th—”
“I don’t think that’s physically possible.”
Ray cut him off, glaring at him with open disapproval.
“You’re disgusting.”
Both of them turned toward Mikey. He stood completely still, frowning, like the heat was about to melt him on the spot.
“Illi’s not answering her phone.”
He shoved it into his back pocket with an impatient motion.
“Knowing her, she probably got carried away with her makeup.”
“We could wait inside,” Ray suggested, glancing at the entrance. “I can’t take another second under this sun.”
No one argued. They walked into the mall, and the cool air hit them instantly, like someone had turned summer’s volume down.
“Heyyy, little Mikey!”
The voice came from behind them—bright, light, unmistakable. Mikey barely had time to turn around before Illi threw herself at him in an enthusiastic hug.
“Hi, guys. Sorry I’m late.”
She pulled back with a wide smile and gave them a casual wave.
Frank and Ray froze.
It wasn’t a dramatic pause.
It was a system crash.
Illi was wearing a Motörhead shirt, a black skirt, and tall boots that clicked softly against the polished floor. Her dark hair, cut just past her shoulders, fell in loose waves that didn’t seem to follow any rules. Her pale skin gave her a slightly vampiric look.
“Nice to meet you.”
Ray was the first to react, lifting a hand in greeting while discreetly swallowing.
Frank blinked, like he was checking whether this was a heat-induced hallucination.
“Holy shit,” he muttered under his breath. “Uh—hi, Illi. Nice to meet you.”
“Alright,” Mikey cut in, stepping forward. “Let’s get ice cream before I actually die right here.”
He started walking without waiting.
Illi immediately fell into step beside him, chatting excitedly about her last trip. She bounced slightly every time she mentioned an artist, like her thoughts were moving faster than her words.
Ray and Frank followed a few steps behind.
“Dude…” Frank whispered. “Where the hell did Mikey get a sister that cool?”
Ray watched them calmly.
“They don’t even look like they’re from the same species,” he said, shaking his head.
“Look!”
Illi stopped suddenly in front of a display window and pointed excitedly.
“It’s the latest issue of The Sandman.”
She leaned in to get a better look at the cover. As she did, her skirt hugged her thick thighs, completely unnoticed by her.
“I used to read it all the time,” she continued, talking to Mikey. “I loved how everything felt like a dream… or a nightmare. You were never totally sure which one it was.”
Mikey leaned in beside her, listening closely.
A few steps back, Ray and Frank were definitely not looking at the comic.
They looked like two teenagers who’d just been caught staring at their teacher’s ass.
Pretty much the same situation.
Mikey slowly turned his head, his eyes locking onto them without saying a word.
He looked like a fucking serial killer.
Ray cleared his throat way too loudly.
“So, uh… I’m kinda hungry. You guys wanna grab a burger?”
“Or fries,” Frank added quickly, staring anywhere that wasn’t Illi while rubbing his face, like he could physically wipe his expression away.
Illi straightened up and looked at them with genuine curiosity.
“You don’t like burgers or something?”
“Frank’s vegetarian,” Mikey said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Seriously?”
Illi’s face lit up.
“I don’t really eat meat either. That’s adorable!”
She grabbed Frank’s face and gently squished his cheeks.
Frank completely stopped functioning for a few seconds.
Ray watched in silence.
Frank: 1
Ray: 0
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They got their food and sat down at a table in the middle of the mall.
Frank went on about the time he’d smashed a guitar during a show and how much he missed it, gesturing like he was recounting a national tragedy.
“Frank, you break literally all your guitars,” Mikey said, starting an argument about how chaotic he got onstage.
Their stupid fight was interrupted when the food arrived.
“Illi, your hair’s really long,” Mikey commented. “You should tie it back.”
“I think it looks really nice like that,” Ray murmured near the end, blushing a little.
Illi flushed slightly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Thanks, Ray. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Frank chewed on a fry like it was made of concrete, watching.
Ray: 1
Frank: 1
“Just saying,” Mikey added gently. “You look good either way, Illi. You know that.”
“Yeah, Mikey, but you don’t get a vote,” Frank laughed. “You look like a Monster High doll in those jeans.”
“Shut up, Iero. That’s why you never grew, you fucking gremlin.”
While everyone laughed at Frank and his not-so-miserable height, he found himself staring at Illi’s neck.
“Is that a tattoo?”
“Oh, no, no,” she said quickly. “I’m terrified of needles.”
She pointed at the letters on her skin.
“It’s fake.”
“I noticed you have a lot, Frankie,” she added, gesturing at his arms.
“Yeah, he’s basically a whiteboard,” Ray said, while Mikey laughed in the background like a clapping seal.
“This one’s cool,” Illi said, tracing her fingers along Frank’s forearm, examining the designs.
Frank flexed his arm completely unnecessarily, making the muscle stand out more.
Illi laughed softly.
Mikey coughed sharply, shooting him a death glare.
“Let’s walk around a bit,” Ray suggested, serious, trying not to sound too eager.
Frank: 2
Ray: 1
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“Guys, I really gotta pee,” Mikey announced suddenly, already heading toward the bathrooms. “Come with me.”
“I’ll wait out here,” Illi said, slightly uncomfortable, pulling out her mirror while calmly fixing her lipstick.
Mikey didn’t wait for an answer. He grabbed both of them by the arms and practically dragged them down the hallway.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped once they were a few meters away. “You look like horny dogs fighting over my sister.”
“Fuck it, Mikey. Your sister is awesome,” Frank shot back without thinking.
“Yeah… she’s really pretty,” Ray added shyly.
“Shut the fuck up. You’re talking about my sister,” Mikey snapped. “And besides, she’d never go for either of you.”
Ray hesitated, then took a breath.
“And… what if she did? What would happen?”
Mikey stared at him for a few seconds, then said:
“I’ll pay for all the band’s outings for a whole month.”
“Damn, Mikey, that’s cheap even for you,” Frank laughed.
“You’re the ones who’ll end up paying,” he replied flatly. “Freaks.”
Frank and Ray looked at each other for a couple seconds before hurrying after him.
“Sorry, we took so long, Ray had diarrhea,” Frank said with a disappointed expression.
“Don’t lie. Frank got a boner. That’s the truth,” Ray laughed.
Illi raised her eyebrows, surprised, then let out an awkward giggle, shrugging.
“Okay… I guess that’s understandable.”
Mikey stared at them in pure disgust.
Holy shit.
What a way to scare a woman off.
Now they were both at zero.
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After walking around a bit more, the tiredness started to show. It was getting late—the band had a show the next day, and Illi had to work early.
Mikey offered to drive her home, but she declined.
“Well, guys, thanks for inviting me. I had fun.”
She smiled as she said goodbye.
She turned to leave.
“H-Hey… Illi,” Frank called suddenly. “Do you wanna come see our show tomorrow?”
Illi turned back, smiling, showing her small teeth.
“Of course! I’d love to see you smash guitars.”
She stepped closer and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
“Bye.”
The three of them stood there, frozen.
Frank was red as a tomato.
“Whatever,” Ray muttered, heading for the car.
Mikey sighed and followed him.
Fuck.
Was this a win for Frank?