Chapter Text
It’s the nervousness in Lucy’s tone when Kara answers the phone that makes Kara realize this call is about something important .
“I need a favor.”
Oh, boy.
“So Lois has been trying to convince me to get back together with James because apparently she misses those torture sessions known as double dates with us.”
“You double date with your sister?”
“Don’t you?”
“Alex doesn’t date. Not really.” Not that Eliza doesn’t keep trying to encourage Alex to do so regardless of the fact that Alex is completely uninterested. Kara understands, but Eliza still doesn’t.
Kara understands, but that doesn’t mean she entirely gets why Alex is only willing to cuddle family and Susan, but Vasquez is cool as long as their “friends-with-cuddles” status (Kara wonders why would you have friends and not cuddle them) doesn’t hurt Alex.
“Okay, so,” Lucy starts again, “Lois has been reminding me of all the good times, yada yada, right? And I know she gets why I broke up with him, you know?”
Well, Kara doesn’t, but that’s because both of them get super awkward around her about it, and considering Kara lives her life alternating between super and awkward, she figures she at least knows it when she sees it.
“What does this have to do with me? I mean I’m happy to be a listening ear, but -”
“No! I mean, yeah, I like that you’re willing to, but that brings me to the favor part of my request. And I know you’re like, crazy busy, saving the city and trying to keep the latest super villain chick of the week from killing Cat while trying to keep Cat from killing you , but really, this favor. Teeny tiny.”
The hair on the back of Kara’s neck starts rising. “Tell me.”
“Okay, so, I may have just wanted Lois to stop bringing it up, so I may have told her I’m already seeing someone.”
“Lucy…”
“And she may want to meet them in two weeks.”
“You didn’t.”
“You were the first person I thought of.”
“You told your sister, Lois Lane, you were dating me?!” Cat is going to kill Kara. And Lucy. Then Supergirl for good measure because she’s not sure her boss has been fooled.
“No! I didn’t tell her any specifics, just that I was seeing someone. But now I need a fake date in two weeks, and Winn isn’t exactly my type and Alex is technically either my subordinate or my boss depending on which government agency has curried more favor this week.”
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“I really don’t get your alien magnetism,” Alex says, swiping a pot sticker. “I mean, you’re cute and all, but half of CatCo wants in your pants now. I can’t decide if that’s better than when everybody just wanted under your cape.”
“What? No they don’t.”
“Oh, they really, really do.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” Kara argues around a mouthful of noodles. She pokes Alex’s thigh with her toe for emphasis.
“Maybe, but I’m not the one continuing the El-Lane tradition.”
Kara groans, slumping further against the arm of the couch.
“Even General Lane had to be intrigued by Astra,” Alex teases, smile fading immediately. “I’m -”
The carton slams onto the coffee table, crumpling, sending chopsticks and noodles flying in a heap onto the floor. “Shut up before I kick you off my couch.”
“Kara,” warns Alex, muscles stiff, but Kara is already up, pacing behind the couch and breathing harshly through her nose. She watches closely as Kara’s hands tremble. “It’s still affecting you, isn’t it?”
“It’s not so easy to keep it under control now,” Kara admits, wrapping her arms around herself, pinching her sides harshly. “Those thoughts I had, they come back sometimes and the emotions with them. The rage, the bitterness, jealousy, malice, superiority. It’s so impulsive now.”
“Do you need another dose of stabilizer?” Alex asks, because she can’t bring herself to say ‘Do I need to blast you with Maxwell Lord’s gun again?’. “Maybe I didn’t hold it on you long enough.”
It flashes through her mind again, standing over Alex and snapping her arm, her eyes burning with heat. Astra, still wounded, slamming into her and Kara exploiting that weakness as Astra and J’onn held her as tightly as they could, giving Alex time to shoot her with the antidote to Lord’s synthesized red Kryptonite before J’onn and Astra had to retreat together, now fugitives from both Non and (officially) the D.E.O. The blast had hurt awfully, like Leslie’s electric whips but deeper, far beneath her skin and nerves. The red Kryptonite had been more gradual but this was a sudden reshifting of her personality and she had blacked out from it.
“No, I’m fine. I feel fine.”
“Except for when you don’t.”
Kara shrugs. “Yeah, well.”
“If it becomes an issue, you come to me,” Alex demands, adjusting her sling. “We’ll get it sorted out.”
“I’m okay, Alex. It’s… Think of it like a seal. It’s been broken, so there’s a few leaks now and then. Like when I hug you too hard.” Kara scoops the noodles up and tosses them in the trash.
Alex grabs her arm. “You’re not broken, Kara.”
“Maybe not, but a lot of things are.” Her public relationship with the city, Alex’s arm, her and Alex, Supergirl and Cat, Astra and J’onn and the DEO - all of them are casualties fractured by her actions.
Alex hugs her.
-----
Lucy turns her attention to Kara. “Are you ready to go?”
“One second.” Kara leans over her desk and grabs her bag. “Okay.”
Lucy’s smile is bright as she hooks their arms together and turns them toward the elevator. “So my sister is about as curious as Cat - oops,” Lucy cuts off, peering around Kara towards Cat’s office and sighing in relief. Kara’s not sure whether she’s more concerned about getting caught for the sin of talking about Lois in CatCo or for the unintentional pun. “Anyways, I figured this lunch was a good start for us getting to really know each other since we can’t exactly tell her what we do know about each other.”
It sinks in then that Lucy must lead a double life very similar to Kara’s, working at both CatCo publicly and the D.E.O. secretly. There’s not a need for a secret identity, at least, but Lucy still works just as hard - if not harder than Kara, sometimes - to keep the two separate outside their circle of friends. And it’s mostly Kara’s fault that James and Winn know about the D.E.O. so really, Lucy is doing a lot better than Kara.
James steps out of his office, layouts in hand, just as they walk by. “Where are you two off to?”
“Kara’s treating me to lunch,” Lucy replies.
She tries hard not to think about how pretty Lucy looks when she smiles that way, because Lucy is smiling at James and has never smiled at her like that.
Kara shifts away from Lucy as a glimmer of suspicion crosses James’s face. The guilt crawls up her throat again and she can’t meet his eyes. Lucy crinkles her brow, looking between the two of them, her smile toning down.
She’s really grateful that Lucy took the week after breaking up with James to go on vacation. Kara doesn’t want to know what she may have said and done to Lucy under the influence of red Kryptonite. What she has done to everyone else was already so unimaginable.
-----
“Want to tell me what that was about back there?” Lucy asks as they take their food to their table.
“What was what?”
“With James.”
Kara fidgets with her straw. “It’s nothing.” Lucy gives her a look. “Really,” Kara insists.
“Uh huh.”
“Okay so we may have had a little confrontation a couple weeks ago when I was, y’know,” admits Kara. She focuses on her burgers.
“Is that what we call it when you’re stripped of inhibitions around the guy you like now?” Lucy crinkles her brow, because she knows about Siobhan and Cat, and had to fill out the paperwork regarding Alex, J’onn, and Astra, but apparently Kara’s mix-up with James had slipped her notice. “What, did you jump him?”
Kara’s face reddens. “Not exactly. I may have been a little… mean. About you.”
“Oh,” Lucy says, sitting back in her seat.
“Yeah, so James isn’t very happy with me right now.”
“And?”
“And what?” Kara asks.
Lucy spears some salad on her fork. “And that’s it?” She laughs. “Because I know I’ve said some pretty mean things about Supergirl, to your face even, and I definitely had some mean thoughts about you beyond that.”
Kara tears a strip from her napkin. “I don’t think he likes knowing all that anger is inside me. I think he was expecting me to be more like my cousin.”
“He would,” Lucy mutters, rolling her eyes.
“But I’m not. I can’t be like Kal-El. I lost my whole world, my purpose , my culture, my family. I never got to graduate, I never got to complete the rites and trials of adulthood, to truly earn the right to be called the Heir to the House of El. He got to be raised by two wonderful people, never knowing otherwise, and honestly? I’m glad. They gave him the stability he needed. Can you imagine if I tried to raise him? I was a thirteen year old alien who didn’t even speak any Earthly language! What would I do with a baby?”
Lucy’s eyes are wide. “Are you telling me he’s your little cousin?”
“It’s complicated,” Kara replies, focusing on her food once again.
“Why don’t you tell me over dinner? Tomorrow night? There’s a great Italian place at the end of my block.” Her fingers squeeze Kara’s reassuringly. “My treat this time.”
Kara shakes her head. “That’s not fair to you. I eat… a lot.” Lucy raises an eyebrow. “Like, ten thousand calories a day, bare minimum.”
“Okay, you are not allowed to tell Cat Grant about that or the fact that you’re older than Superman. She’ll murder you and pay someone to harness those super powers for herself.” Lucy pauses. “Congrats on turning her off flying, though.”